IN NEED OF GUIDANCE AND ENCOURAGMENT

[Knedgers]

Hi, I am new to the site. My hair is in horrible conditon its dry. I think I have split ends. I lack shine and softness. I used to self relax every 4 weeks or so and i think this is the cause of my hair troubles. I feel so discouraged. I just want to grow at least shoulder length I am not asking for anything extreme. I have started deep conditioning once a week and trying co washes. here is my regimen

Pre poo with protein ( since my hair is already dry)
poo- humectress
dc- humectress
leave in - olice live leave in
seal- with coconut oil

rollerset and sit under the dryer

I am 8 weeks post relaxer and i am not able to help my hair. it is still dry. i recently purchased Qp mango butter and have been moisturizing.

I feel like I am never going to have healthy hair some days i just was to shave my head.

Can you guys help please and advice is greatly appreciated!!

 

[Leslie_C]

It sounds like you are doing the right things, but I wouldnt use protein prior to every wash.

My main piece of advice to you is some advice I wish I had gotten when I first came to this site. You may see more progress faster if you get rid of the damaged ends, cutting however much is neccesary and then starting out fresh with healthy hair then you will trying to save hair that is beyond repair. I went thru this for over a year with a lot of struggling along the way. Ive made more progress this year when I started out fresh (I relaxed/texlaxed after being natural for a year), then I did the first two years on this board trying to save hair that couldnt be saved. I started out with a healthy head of hair and the progress is so much faster. I still have minor issues like everyone else, but it has been half the battle it was when I started out with jacked up hair from years of abuse (daily hot curling, relaxing root to tip, etc). HTH and welcome!

 

[Knedgers]

Thanx you so much i was thinking about doing that. but I am nervous about a stylist chopping my hair off. I just want what ever HAS to be cut off you kno? I have been aweful to my hair and now it is time to treat it right

 

[Knedgers]

thanx you so much i will try that. I really want to start doing right by my hair

 

[Legend]

WELCOME!

I agree you should definitely cut back on some of the protein. It is great to help strengthen damaged hair, but it can be too much of a good thing.

Instead, focus on your moisturizing deep conditioners. I know it can be a little time consuming, but try deep conditioning with heat (warm towel, under dryer, etc.) every time you wash for the next few weeks to restore your moisture balance. Sistaslick had some great advice here.

It sounds like you're off to a good start, and are developing some great habits. But, getting your hair back in shape takes time and patience. I spent about a year growing my hair out all the while cutting off the damaged bits as it grew to give my hair a nice fresh start. Then, I could think about length once it was healthy again. You may not have to go that route, but just know that many of us started our journey in the same place.

Don't get discouraged. There's a lot of wisdom and advice to be had on LHCF. Good luck!

 

[Leslie_C]

Thanx you so much i was thinking about doing that. but I am nervous about a stylist chopping my hair off. I just want what ever HAS to be cut off you kno? I have been aweful to my hair and now it is time to treat it right

How about finding a cute cut/style that you like in a magazine or online and taking it to a stylist? If more still needs to be cut after that u can trim it gradually because if u keep it in that style for a while it will have to be shaped up ever so often and after a few months you should probably have a pretty healthy head of hair. You will also feel more confident if you have a cute style to wear while you grow your hair out.

I always wish I had a cute bob when I started because bobs look cute at every length and are easy to grow out! But my hair doesnt grow like that...it grows in layers naturally.

 

[Knedgers]

thanks guys, its so many different lengths but im sure i will find something that works

 

[Legend]

How about finding a cute cut/style that you like in a magazine or online and taking it to a stylist? If more still needs to be cut after that u can trim it gradually because if u keep it in that style for a while it will have to be shaped up ever so often and after a few months you should probably have a pretty healthy head of hair. You will also feel more confident if you have a cute style to wear while you grow your hair out.

I always wish I had a cute bob when I started because bobs look cute at every length and are easy to grow out! But my hair doesnt grow like that...it grows in layers naturally.

I agree. I actually smoothed out my awkward grow-out phase by just rocking some phony ponies. Quick, cheap, protective, and easy.

And with the gradual cutting, I never missed my length.

 

[Knedgers]

whats a good moisturizing deep conditioner?

 

[Legend]

whats a good moisturizing deep conditioner?

Humectress is a moisturizing conditioner (it doesn't contain protein), so you can certainly continue to use it. Just, every time you condition, put a plastic cap over your hair and let it steep with some heat for 20 minutes or so before rinsing.

 

[Leslie_C]

whats a good moisturizing deep conditioner?

Organic Root Stimulator Olive Oil Replenishing Paks (they come in a yellow packet, u can find them at most stores and the dollar store) is what I use to deep condition most the time. Im naming this one because it is one of the ones that 90% of ppl on the boards seem to like.

Pantene Relaxed and Natural Breakage Defense Mask is also very nice as a deep conditioner.

 

[Leslie_C]

Humectress is a moisturizing conditioner (it doesn't contain protein), so you can certainly continue to use it. Just, every time you condition, put a plastic cap over your hair and let it steep with some heat for 20 minutes or so before rinsing.

She is right...Humectress is a really good moisturizing conditioner. If you want to add a little extra umph to it, add a little olive oil to it and/or honey.

 

[Knedgers]

good! I will try the humectress with coconut oil?? castro oil seems to be so sticky but i heard it is awesome for thickening but is it supposed to be mixed or added to something? once again thankx guys i really need all the help i can get

 

[blazingthru]

I love castor oil as a prepoo, it seems to make my hair extra soft. I Just put it on and place a plastic cap on my head and do whatever I normally do before showering and then get in an rinse it out and wash my hair and I love how my hair feels and works it seems to have a lot more slip and easily goes in a pony tail with no brushing. Which I love. I am natural I only use protein once a week. be careful with protein and make sure you rinse your hair very well, you can have dry patches and damaged hair if you don't rinse well. Good luck on your hair growth. I use to have dry hair but when I stopped with caffeine and drink more water and condition wash daily I stopped having dry hair issues. Plus for me the Chemicals were drying my hair out something terrible. You should space out your relaxers as long as possible. Good luck and Welcome aboard

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Hi Sweetie and welcome!!!

Sounds like everything is going well, except...

Please watch the protein. You should find a good balance between moisture and protein. Sounds like you're doing too much protein. If your hair is already dry, the last thing you need is more protein, which will dry and potentially break your hair even more. Moisture is what you need!

Good luck with everything and hang in there.

 

[Knedgers]

ok guys even though my hair is not yet trimmed i am going to try a pre poo with humectress and castor oil and co wash with humectress and coconut oil I really hope this helps me

 

[Mook's hair]

Yes, it sounds like you are making some very good adjustments.
For encouragement, I'd suggest that you also look through some fotki albums. When you look at other people's progress you can see your own potential. I also suggest that you make your own album so that you can track your own progress and it will also help you remember what does and does not work well for your hair.

If you can handle it, you may also want to try to eliminate direct heat for a while. start small like give yourself a 2 or 3 week stretch with no direct heat.

Post a photo in here so that we can see your hair.

 

[trini_rican]

You're in great hands with these ladies. Watch, listen and learn - you'll be amazed at your hair's progress in no time. Good luck and I'll see you around the board.

 

[Knedgers]

ok i have posted a pic i will do a better one with better lighting real soon

 

[WomanlyCharm]

Hi and welcome!

It sounds like you're on the right track...I'll just echo what everyone else has already said, try and lay off the protein for a little while.

Also, have you clarifyed your hair lately? A buildup of products and deposits on the hair can also cause extreme dryness. Clarifying also helps your conditioners work better. Hope that helps!

 

[locabouthair]

Hi and welcome!

It sounds like you're on the right track...I'll just echo what everyone else has already said, try and lay off the protein for a little while.

Also, have you clarifyed your hair lately? A buildup of products and deposits on the hair can also cause extreme dryness. Clarifying also helps your conditioners work better. Hope that helps!

I was going to recommend that.

Also, you should read sistaslick's articles. go to her fotki, www.fotki.com/sistaslick and clock on articles. There is a lot of good information about building a regimen and what your hair needs.

Welcome to the board!

 

[hairmaster]

WELCOME
You didn't say what kind of relaxer you use, and the last time you used it?
Clarify before you deep condition with the Hummectris,with heat 10-15 Min.
Get a good cut/trim, do you have a Ceramic flat iron to ionize condition to seal in the mioster.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Oils are your friend. Once you have gotten rid of the damaged hair, use coconut oil as much as possible. It keeps dry hair soft after it sets in a bit and it keep the hair thick.

 

[Knedgers]

I dont have a particular relaxer and i am about 8 weeks post relaxer which is quite challenge my first stretch. i do have a flat iron but i use it to much lol.

 

[Brownie518]

Organic Root Stimulator Olive Oil Replenishing Paks (they come in a yellow packet, u can find them at most stores and the dollar store) is what I use to deep condition most the time. Im naming this one because it is one of the ones that 90% of ppl on the boards seem to like.

Pantene Relaxed and Natural Breakage Defense Mask is also very nice as a deep conditioner.

Ditto on these two! I use them all the time. I used to make the same mistake and use too much protein. Now that I focus on moisture, my hair is thriving. Some other excellent moisturizing conditioners are TiGi Moisture Maniac, Aveda Brilliant, Silk2 Moistec, and Elasta QP DPR-11.

 

[Wildchild453]

I agree with the post that oil is your friend, just make sure you find the right one for you since not oils are created equal.

I suggest spacing out your protein. If your washing every week try to use the protein every 2-3 weeks, especially since your hair is already dry. What protein treatment are you using? Protein treatments are not created equally either, there are light, med and heavy ones.

You can try pre-pooing with oil(hot oil treatment), so that your hair has extra protection when you shampoo.

I like Miss Keyes 10 en 1, a dominican conditioner, for DC..however lately I've been using coconut milk mixed with a lil conditioner and that has been doing an excellent job!

 

[bravenewgirl87]

whats a good moisturizing deep conditioner?

I don't feel like typing much but you can read the blog for more suggestions.
http://www.hairsmystory.com/2007_08_12_archive.html
Top two: Hamadi Shea Hair Mask and Mizani Fufyl mixed with Shea butter. You might need to lay off the heavy proteins for a while. Do one deep protein treatment (like raw eggs) and then keep it light with the Mizani Fulfyl or Bb. Deeep Conditioner.

I Always do a hot oil treatment with coconut oil or use coconut oil in my moisturizer. Nothing works like it.