Is it taboo to date someone from your church?

[SEMO]

There is this guy in my bible study that I think is digging me but if the usual behavior of church men holds true he will never ask me out .

Maybe it's just me and the few churches I've been to, but it seems that guys are really hesitant to date someone from their church. Maybe they're afraid that if things go bad they'll have to change churches. Who knows.

It seems like your church should be a great place to meet Christian men (you both can be held more accountable). But I know only one person who met their husband at church.

Any thoughts? Anybody else feel this way?

 

[1god1]

Naw...there's nothing taboo about dating someone from your church. As a matter of fact, some go to church specifically for that purpose. Ionno...some guys feel Chrisitian sistas are different...especially if that is the way you carry yourself...meaning, they can't just approach you any old kinda way. He may also want to wait to see how you feel. If you like him, start off with a Hello...easy convo, etc.

 

[SEMO]

Naw...there's nothing taboo about dating someone from your church. As a matter of fact, some go to church specifically for that purpose. Ionno...some guys feel Chrisitian sistas are different...especially if that is the way you carry yourself...meaning, they can't just approach you any old kinda way. He may also want to wait to see how you feel. If you like him, start off with a Hello...easy convo, etc.

You're probably right. And on one hand I think that's really good. On the other hand I wonder if I'm intimidating somehow, even though I'm really friendly.

 

[metamorfhosis]

I don't think there is anything taboo about dating someone from your church. My former English teacher met her second husband at their church. And one of my former classmate's sisters married the Youth Pastor at the same church. Oh....the Choir Director married a Deacon also at this same church.

It would seem wrong to go to church just to find a man. But if you happen to be attending church and run across a good Christian man, then I think that's special.

 

[Ms.Honey]

I think you have a better chance meeting someone who believes what you believe and how you believe it at your own church as opposed to someone who attends another church.

 

[metamorfhosis]

As I previously mentioned, I know of several couples at the same church that got married and there could be more because I don't regularly attend the church.

I do have a friend who was disappointed by a guy she met at church. He turned out not to be godly. So I am sure you probably already know this but just in case, don't forget to "try" his spirit. 1 john 4:1-3;

This is a little off topic but it is related to being granted the desire of your heart:


Psalm 37:4 (New International Version)
4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart


I know of a girl who had been disappointed in MANY relationships. She used to pursue men. Then she came to Christ and prayed for a husband.

She is a nurse and was preparing for surgery one day. When she walked in the room, a doctor saw her and was wondering who was that lady. Some time passed and one night he went to her house. When she opened the door, he told her, "I can't do this without you." She thought he was talking about surgery. He told her that he was walking about the two of them. The rest is history...... They are getting married soon.

 

[juju]

As I previously mentioned, I know of several couples at the same church that got married and there could be more because I don't regularly attend the church.

I do have a friend who was disappointed by a guy she met at church. He turned out not to be godly. So I am sure you probably already know this but just in case, don't forget to "try" his spirit. 1 john 4:1-3;

This is a little off topic but it is related to being granted the desire of your heart:


Psalm 37:4 (New International Version)
4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart


I know of a girl who had been disappointed in MANY relationships. She used to pursue men. Then she came to Christ and prayed for a husband.

She is a nurse and was preparing for surgery one day. When she walked in the room, a doctor saw her and was wondering who was that lady. Some time passed and one night he went to her house. When she opened the door, he told her, "I can't do this without you." She thought he was talking about surgery. He told her that he was walking about the two of them. The rest is history...... They are getting married soon.

That is so romantic !

 

[metamorfhosis]

Oh SEMO, I just wanted to update you with some info I found out about ANOTHER couple in the church I mentioned. The pastor had a mistress for over 10 years at this church. They had a fight and she went to the church one day and he grabbed her arm and it got caught in the door. She ended up suing him and they settled out of court. There was a deacon at this church who must have had his eye on her. His wife used to put him down and tell him that she was too good to be seen with him in public. Long story short---I went to a Christmas concert at a different church last year and they were together. I saw them last Friday out and I was looking for wedding rings. Sure enough, they had on wedding bands and they looked like they were soooooo in love. They even had their hands on top of each other. He seemed to be real quiet in the past but she has really brought them out because they were just chatting. None of us are perfect but GOD took a mistress and made her a wife.

Also, in another church nearby, another couple got together. Actually, it was my former neighbor. She was married to a man and had three girls and he just left them one day right there with his Mom and Dad. Long story short--His Mom kicked her and the kids out. She got a home and started working. One day she needed to have something fixed on her computer. There was a man at church who worked for IBM who came to her home to fix her computer. Well, that's all she wrote. They started dating, he proposed, and she is married again.

 

[song_of_serenity]

Oh SEMO, I just wanted to update you with some info I found out about ANOTHER couple in the church I mentioned. The pastor had a mistress for over 10 years at this church. They had a fight and she went to the church one day and he grabbed her arm and it got caught in the door. She ended up suing him and they settled out of court. There was a deacon at this church who must have had his eye on her. His wife used to put him down and tell him that she was too good to be seen with him in public. Long story short---I went to a Christmas concert at a different church last year and they were together. I saw them last Friday out and I was looking for wedding rings. Sure enough, they had on wedding bands and they looked like they were soooooo in love. They even had their hands on top of each other. He seemed to be real quiet in the past but she has really brought them out because they were just chatting. None of us are perfect but GOD took a mistress and made her a wife.

Also, in another church nearby, another couple got together. Actually, it was my former neighbor. She was married to a man and had three girls and he just left them one day right there with his Mom and Dad. Long story short--His Mom kicked her and the kids out. She got a home and started working. One day she needed to have something fixed on her computer. There was a man at church who worked for IBM who came to her home to fix her computer. Well, that's all she wrote. They started dating, he proposed, and she is married again.

Unless said couples have one dead mate, I doubt God is condoning adultery.
As for the OP, I don't think it's taboo. Oddest reason, I couple in my church got engaged...we didn't even KNOW they were dating! I think some people put on a front when dating another church member as if they aren't (I don't know why. Dating is fine unless e'rbody in the church that got married did the prearranged thing.)
~*Janelle~*

 

[metamorfhosis]

Unless said couples have one dead mate, I doubt God is condoning adultery.
As for the OP, I don't think it's taboo. Oddest reason, I couple in my church got engaged...we didn't even KNOW they were dating! I think some people put on a front when dating another church member as if they aren't (I don't know why. Dating is fine unless e'rbody in the church that got married did the prearranged thing.)
~*Janelle~*

Song-

I am trying not to get off topic but I want to understand your point. Are you saying that if these couples particularly the ones who are in a second marriage have a "ex spouse" who is still alive, they are still bound?

I found the scripture that goes with this. I'm sure you know that most churches um ignore this scripture.

Romans 7:1-3 (NIV)

An Illustration From Marriage

1 Do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to men who know the law—that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? 2 For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. 3 So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.

 

[crlsweetie912]

I think the weariness comes from people being all up in your business. There was a couple at our church who got married late last year and everybody was like...When did they start dating? I think that's a good thing.
I haven't dated at my church (or anywhere for that matter) and this is a big reason.

 

[SEMO]

song & crlsweetie,

I think dating someone from my church (with the intent to get married would be great) . But if it didn't work out... it could get awkward. But hey I'm not too worried, it's not like I'm beating them off with a stick nowadays .

Thanks meta for the encouragement. Hopefully though when I get married it will be under better circumstances (I don't like attention and drama) .

 

[song_of_serenity]

Song-

I am trying not to get off topic but I want to understand your point. Are you saying that if these couples particularly the ones who are in a second marriage have a "ex spouse" who is still alive, they are still bound?

I found the scripture that goes with this. I'm sure you know that most churches um ignore this scripture.

Romans 7:1-3 (NIV)

An Illustration From Marriage

1 Do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to men who know the law—that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? 2 For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. 3 So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.

That's exactly what I mean! But hey, people always find justificaton for their actions and find a way to make it into God's will. I even knew of a gay priest and one who said "God made it ok for homosexuality because David loved Jonathan more than a woman."

We'll get back on topic. lol. SEMO, my S.O moved here and is attending church with me. People KNOW we're together and no one says a thing. But one couple got married a few months ago after an obvious courtship and people were whispering about how they're "fornicating" and blah blah. It was terrible. I don't know what they were and weren't doing but a lot of "old fashioned churches" seem to have an idea that dating is wrong! It's lovely as long as you put Christ first, let him head your relationship and live after HIS word, and even if you "slip up" (you know what I mean) you'll be able to go to him for forgiveness.

Love in Christ is so beautiful. It's nice to see young couples in church.
~*Janelle~*

 

[metamorfhosis]

Song-

Thank you for pointing out my error. There are a lot of adulterers.

Back to the topic..... People do meet at church like they meet on the job. Both situations can be awkward if something goes wrong. But it seems to go right for a lot of people.

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

I think dating someone from your church is too much pressure with church members wanting them to get married. I've noticed alot of the young adults in my church who date have all eyes on them and are constantly questioned as to when they going to settle down. Many men are probably scared of this kind of commitment so soon after dating. The worse thing is to date someone who is in a high position in the church or who parents hold high positions, then the pressure is really on. If it is God will for the two of you to be toghether no matter what he will be your mate.