It kind of irks me...

[missbritt1986]

When ladies blame chemical relaxers for their previous or current hair setbacks. A relaxer is obviously a strong chemical treatment that should be tested on a few strands first to see what your processing time should be. These chemicals are no joke. I've noticed that a lot of people who experience trouble with relaxers have either over processed, :burning: didn't use a base on scalp, relaxed their whole head every time (not just new growth), scratched, combed, washed their hair right before a relaxer, or the ultimate no no, slapped a relaxer in after getting braids taken out. Let's also not forget the ladies who have no business trying to self relax, but do so anyway & hope for the best (usually with the wrong strength. Not everyone can use SUPER), or simply DON'T need to relax their hair in the first place. Almost forgot bleaching or coloring hair & then relaxing, or letting that "salon professional" put her hands in your hair when you know better than to let just any old body mess with your head. Bye bye hair.
Now, I'm totally guilty of most (if not all) of these mistakes myself.
But I'd be pretty naive to think that it's all the relaxers fault. I think it makes us feel better to blame the Dark & Lovely rather than admit our own mistakes. Now that I'm more informed, my hair hair is healthy, strong, and relaxed. Same chemicals, but now I'm taking care of my hair like I should have been the whole time. Relaxing isn't for everybody, but I think a lot more ladies would have success with relaxers if they took the time to do it properly.

 

[Southernbella.]

I agree with you. I see the same thing wrt natural hair. People blame the hair, rather than their inability to style it or keep it healthy.

I guess it's just human nature.

When my relaxed hair was unhealthy, it wasn't because of the relaxer, it was because I was using heat every day, blowdrying, etc.

 

[aegis]

hmm i think it's naive to think that everyones experiences are like yours. there are some whose hair CANNOT handle chemicals at all. there are some whose hair cannot handle heat despite their precautions. there are some whose hair cannot handle protein despite how infrequently they use it. there are some whose hair does not like co-washing. someone might RAVE about a product that makes their hair grow 2 inches in 2 minutes and for someone else it causes their hair to break terribly.

everyone has different body chemistry, hair textures and tolerance. it is not always the user and it is often the product.

 

[Tene]

I agree it's the things we do to our hair that causes the problems.

 

[sheba1]

^^ And don't do

 

[missbritt1986]

I agree with you aegis. But I think that goes back to the strand test. Perhaps more would fare better with a relaxer, protein, or heat if they were to test it first, versus going all out. I'm not saying all, but most.

 

[Neith]

Even though I'm natural I don't think that relaxers are the bane of hair care. As many relaxed heads running around here with beautiful hair?

However, relaxers don't work for some people, even when used properly. Everyone with a bad relaxer experience didn't misuse relaxers. I can see how this line of thought could irk other people too.

I'm happier with my natural hair than I've ever been with relaxed hair. I'm happy that I went natural... but when I say these things, I'm just stating how I feel about my own hair and my own experiences. I have absolutely nothing against people who choose to relax their hair OR the relaxers themselves

Just not what I want to do right now and it's not the best thing for my hair/scalp/overall health.

 

[loveable37]

TOTALLY AGREE
I been using a relaxer for years never a relaxer damage my hair it underprocess it tha it cuse i do the method right.Now a relaxer diappointed u in anyway its u not relaxer the relaxer works wonder with me ITS NOT WAT U USE,ITS HOW U USE IT.

 

[aegis]

I agree with you aegis. But I think that goes back to the strand test. Perhaps more would fare better with a relaxer, protein, or heat if they were to test it first, versus going all out. I'm not saying all, but most.

prolly. i just did a strand test with a bkt and i decided i don't think i want to do it. strand tests are helpful but i guess people are impatient?

 

[30something]

a lot of people like that on youtube with videos bashing what ever they claimed went wrong and other websites, gets me annoyed. This is why i love this website so much

 

[ryanshope]

Preach it OP.

 

[Dani.Nicole]

I totally agree. When I was younger my mom used to put my relaxers in and I never had any breakage whatsoever. My hair never lost it's length due to a bad relaxer. It wasn't until I started lurking around here that I saw a lot of people blaming their hair problems on relaxers. That just didn't make any sense to me because I never had to experience that. I don't think it's the relaxer itself. It's the experience and technique behind it. If you have neither then it would be best if you found someone who did. Don't get me wrong, putting in a relaxer is no joke and it can be potentially damaging to one's hair. This goes for any chemical process though. You can't always blame it on the process. If you're not confident in your experience and technique or another person's, then you shouldn't risk the health of your hair.

 

[missbritt1986]

prolly. i just did a strand test with a bkt and i decided i don't think i want to do it. strand tests are helpful but i guess people are impatient?

I know I was! I just decided to try the aphogee two step a while back, and I sprayed that joint all over my head and had the nerve to not use the balancing moisturizer it came with (mineral oil ). I used cholesterol instead & deep conditioned. I usually have a good feeling about what to put in my hair & luckily my hair thrived. But I really should have done a strand test.
Had I went bald, I'd have nobody to blame, but myself.

 

[Junebug D]

ITA. Just do whatever works best for you. Some people will have a harder time with a relaxer and some people will have a harder time being natural. It depends on them, what they are doing, what they want or can do, and to the best of their abilities. The absolutes really do get old.

I know I couldn't be a heat-straightened natural, nor would I BKT, nor would I be texlaxed again for my own reasons. But I'm not going to sit here and say those things are the debbil just because they don't agree with ME, my temperament, my goals, my preferences, or my lifestyle. Especially when there are folks here having great experiences with those things... and when some of their hair looks better than mine on top of it.

I had problems with being natural, but I can acknowledge all the naturals who are having a good experience with it.

 

[*CherryPie*]

I disagree.Some people's hair just cant handle relaxers. People like me.

I've relaxed my hair for over 20 years. Did ALL of the things that I should. My hair has ALWAYS been long. I've just cut my hair from MBL last week (transitioning). My hair always grew well with relaxer. Everywhere EXCEPT MY HAIRLINE. I used a mild relaxer And I relaxed that area last to avoid overprocessing. But I kept a thin hairline.

My hairline would start to grow in between relaxing. But as soon as I get another relaxer MY HAIRLINE THINNED AGAIN.

and NO, my eyes were not playing tricks on me.

Some people really can't handle relaxers. It's not us, It's the Chemicals.

We cant take the blame for everything. Sometimes the blame really does belong somewhere else.

 

[goodmorningruby]

While I agree that a lot of setbacks can be prevented, I truly do believe that what one subjects their hair to may or may not be the right choice for someone else, even if whatever is being done to the hair is done properly.

A lot of people rave about the Hydratherma Naturals products and almost every single one of them my hair absolutely hates. My hair was extremely hard and dried out after just one use of the shampoo. I followed the directions to a t, washed in secured sections with only one section out at a time (like I do with everything else), etc. I didn't pile the hair on top of my head or use too much or skip a pre-poo, hair was previously detangled etc etc. So did I shampoo wrong? No. It was the ingredients. There's sulfates in it; my hair hates sulfates. But others use the shampoo with no problem. I realize it's not a good comparison next to the relaxer process, because admittedly that is one procedure that's easy to mess up without the proper knowledge. But the point is that every head of hair has different preferences and needs, and even if someone uses a product correctly or performs a service on their hair, they can still have a setback because of the product or the service itself.

Of course someone who washes their hair, doesn't base, scratches, etc. before a relaxer can't really complain if it burns. But if they did everything "right", and they still experience problems after using a relaxer, is it impossible that they used a relaxer that simply didn't agree with their hair or scalp? :scratchch:scratchch:scratchch

 

[goodmorningruby]

Also, is the standard strand test something that we should rely on ALL the time, because there is such a thing as "progressive damage" without immediate observable consequences. Calcium build-up comes to mind. And I've read about and experienced the no-lye dryness (and a strand test was performed) despite chelating, moisturizing, frequent DCing, porosity control, etc. Can you really tell what the product/technique, whatever is going to do to the scalp? Or the whole head of hair??? JUST by a strand test?

 

[butterfly_wings]

I totally agree. When I was younger my mom used to put my relaxers in and I never had any breakage whatsoever. My hair never lost it's length due to a bad relaxer. It wasn't until I started lurking around here that I saw a lot of people blaming their hair problems on relaxers. That just didn't make any sense to me because I never had to experience that. I don't think it's the relaxer itself. It's the experience and technique behind it. If you have neither then it would be best if you found someone who did. Don't get me wrong, putting in a relaxer is no joke and it can be potentially damaging to one's hair. This goes for any chemical process though. You can't always blame it on the process. If you're not confident in your experience and technique or another person's, then you shouldn't risk the health of your hair.

I notice in your siggy you say you mis your BSL hair, what happened???

 

[missbritt1986]

I disagree.Some people's hair just cant handle relaxers. People like me.

I've relaxed my hair for over 20 years. Did ALL of the things that I should. My hair has ALWAYS been long. I've just cut my hair from MBL last week (transitioning). My hair always grew well with relaxer. Everywhere EXCEPT MY HAIRLINE. I used a mild relaxer And I relaxed that area last to avoid overprocessing. But I kept a thin hairline.

My hairline would start to grow in between relaxing. But as soon as I get another relaxer MY HAIRLINE THINNED AGAIN.

and NO, my eyes were not playing tricks on me.

Some people really can't handle relaxers. It's not us, It's the Chemicals.

We cant take the blame for everything. Sometimes the blame really does belong somewhere else.

Sorry to hear about your experience. That's weird that the rest of your hair was okay except for the hairline. Never heard of that. Are you still relaxing, just not your edges?

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

When ladies blame chemical relaxers for their previous or current hair setbacks. A relaxer is obviously a strong chemical treatment that should be tested on a few strands first to see what your processing time should be. These chemicals are no joke. I've noticed that a lot of people who experience trouble with relaxers have either over processed, :burning: didn't use a base on scalp, relaxed their whole head every time (not just new growth), scratched, combed, washed their hair right before a relaxer, or the ultimate no no, slapped a relaxer in after getting braids taken out. Let's also not forget the ladies who have no business trying to self relax, but do so anyway & hope for the best (usually with the wrong strength. Not everyone can use SUPER), or simply DON'T need to relax their hair in the first place. Almost forgot bleaching or coloring hair & then relaxing, or letting that "salon professional" put her hands in your hair when you know better than to let just any old body mess with your head. Bye bye hair.
Now, I'm totally guilty of most (if not all) of these mistakes myself.
But I'd be pretty naive to think that it's all the relaxers fault. I think it makes us feel better to blame the Dark & Lovely rather than admit our own mistakes. Now that I'm more informed, my hair hair is healthy, strong, and relaxed. Same chemicals, but now I'm taking care of my hair like I should have been the whole time. Relaxing isn't for everybody, but I think a lot more ladies would have success with relaxers if they took the time to do it properly.

I don't think anyone 'needs' a relaxer. People 'need' to learn how to maintain their hair and nourish their scalps.

 

[Junebug D]

But the point is that every head of hair has different preferences and needs, and even if someone uses a product correctly or performs a service on their hair, they can still have a setback because of the product or the service itself.

Good point. Just further proves that what's true for someone else may not be true for you.

Of course if you are having significant issues with a particular product, then you should definitely quit using it instead of trying to figure out what you may be doing wrong. I saw a woman once where it looked like her entire scalp had been in a fire or something. The entire surface was pink & white. And then it looked as if she had just been freshly relaxed. erplexed She may have been straightened, but I dunno. Personally, if my scalp had been that burned up by whatever means I wouldn't want to put anything hot near it ever again.

 

[Dani.Nicole]

I notice in your siggy you say you mis your BSL hair, what happened???

About that... lol

Well I cut my hair by choice in July of 08. My hair was too long for me to deal with (this was pre-LHCF) and on top of that I wanted a more edgy look. So chop chop! My hair grew back to APL but AGAIN I started messing in my hair and I dyed it twice in a row (an example of not having experience with chemicals). Needless to say my hair broke off literally to one inch on the top of my head. Then my bangs felt the heat. So finally I had to chop it all off again in April of 09. My hair was short I couldn't even put it in a ponytail. But now I'm NL and growing I guess lol

 

[missbritt1986]

While I agree that a lot of setbacks can be prevented, I truly do believe that what one subjects their hair to may or may not be the right choice for someone else, even if whatever is being done to the hair is done properly.

A lot of people rave about the Hydratherma Naturals products and almost every single one of them my hair absolutely hates. My hair was extremely hard and dried out after just one use of the shampoo. I followed the directions to a t, washed in secured sections with only one section out at a time (like I do with everything else), etc. I didn't pile the hair on top of my head or use too much or skip a pre-poo, hair was previously tangled etc etc. So did I shampoo wrong? No. It was the ingredients. There's sulfates in it; my hair hates sulfates. But others use the shampoo with no problem. I realize it's not a good comparison next to the relaxer process, because admittedly that is one procedure that's easy to mess up without the proper knowledge. But the point is that every head of hair has different preferences and needs, and even if someone uses a product correctly or performs a service on their hair, they can still have a setback because of the product or the service itself.

Of course someone who washes their hair, doesn't base, scratches, etc. before a relaxer can't really complain if it burns. But if they did everything "right", and they still experience problems after using a relaxer, is it impossible that they used a relaxer that simply didn't agree with their hair or scalp? :scratchch:scratchch:scratchch

I think it's very possible. Sometimes things just tear your hair up. But, I think that doing research & listening to your hair is key. My edges used to burn no matter what I used to base. Until I switched to regular instead of super. Problem solved.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Thanks missbritt.

The relaxer was too strong for ONLY my hairline. I'm transitioning now to natural. I've used even the weakest relaxer strength and it still took out my hairline ONLY. The rest of my hair thrived!

I don't want to take chances with my hair anymore.

Sorry to hear about your experience. That's weird that the rest of your hair was okay except for the hairline. Never heard of that. Are you still relaxing, just not your edges?

 

[aegis]

Sorry to hear about your experience. That's weird that the rest of your hair was okay except for the hairline. Never heard of that. Are you still relaxing, just not your edges?

actually britt i dont think it's that unusual. the hair around the hairline is often the weakest and the most sensitive bc it's much more exposed. there are a lot of challenges here addressing hairline specifically bc it's such a troublesome area for so many, relaxed and natural. i used to think i had the weirdest hairline when i was relaxed but then i realized noo...i just didnt have any hair there bc of relaxers lol

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

Yes OP it's mostly about the technique, I hear some people say IRL that relaxers/braids/weaves/hair dyes has damaged their hair and I say that their technique was probably wrong. I start telling them

the braids you had were too tight.
who told you to glue in the hair the then rip it out when there is stuff you could buy to help remove it properly?
why did you think it was okay to sew in mutiple tracks on to that thin canerow?
How come you didn't follow the instructions?

 

[shunemite]

I think those people should accurately say, "relaxing didn't work for ME". Some people's hair really can't handle relaxers. For a lot of reasons. Their hair just doesn't like it. They used a Super on fine hair. Some people's daily routine, or the way they sleep with no scarf doesn't agree with them. A relaxed hair care regimen is intense with DC as a requirement and not an option for most people, but not all are willing to do that.

I have a schoolmate that's Ethiopian, and a former work mate, Ethiopian as well who both had curly long natural 3c(?) hair. They relaxed it, and I watched it break painfully up to their necks. They went natural again, and it grew right back. Just like my hair can't handle permanent color. Other people can use it with no problem.

I self-relax, but I read at least two books (Shamboosie and Barry Fletcher) and got lots of tips from the forum. I use a mild lye, I base thoroughly, and I do it in sections. Works for me. If it didn't I'd just go back to the shop and let them do it.

 

[missbritt1986]

I don't think anyone 'needs' a relaxer. People 'need' to learn how to maintain their hair and nourish their scalps.

I agree. I've been relaxed since my mom died when I was 11. My father could not do hair & there was no one to teach me, so I'd just slather pink oil in it & put it in a clip. I don't even remember washing it. Needless to say my MBL hair broke significantly and I was taken to a hairstylist who relaxed my hair, cut it to SL & taught me how to maintain it. (My father almost had a heart attack over the cut, but what could he say? He didn't know jack about hair.) I've stretched relaxers, & even tried to transition to natural, but I always end up relaxing because my schedule is so busy & I'm not the most creative stylist. I do plan on going natural one day, but i don't want to do a BC and my hair breaks when I have too much new growth. So, we'll see what happens. Right now I have kinky twists in & I'm pretending to be natural.

 

[goodmorningruby]

Even though I'm natural I don't think that relaxers are the bane of hair care. As many relaxed heads running around here with beautiful hair?

However, relaxers don't work for some people, even when used properly. Everyone with a bad relaxer experience didn't misuse relaxers. I can see how this line of thought could irk other people too.

I'm happier with my natural hair than I've ever been with relaxed hair. I'm happy that I went natural... but when I say these things, I'm just stating how I feel about my own hair and my own experiences. I have absolutely nothing against people who choose to relax their hair OR the relaxers themselves

Just not what I want to do right now and it's not the best thing for my hair/scalp/overall health.

THANK YOU.

 

[missbritt1986]

Yes OP it's mostly about the technique, I hear some people say IRL that relaxers/braids/weaves/hair dyes has damaged their hair and I say that their technique was probably wrong. I star telling them

the braids you had were too tight.
who told you to glue in the hair the then rip it out when there is stuff you could buy to help remove it properly?
why did you think it was okay to sew in mutiple tracks on to that thin canerow?
How come you didn't follow the instructions?