Long time natural seriously thinking of relaxing

[natstar]

Hi ladies-

Iv'e been natural for about 9 years now. I have had my hair loose and also in locks. Now it's been loose again for about 3 years now. My problem is I am getting sooo bored with my natural hair. I am reallly interested in relaxing or texlaxing but I am really scared because of how permanent it is. Also my hair is thin/fine by nature and I really don't want to have see thru hair.

Has anyone be natural for a while, felt like, and actually done a change like relaxing? Do you regret it at all? Sometimes I am just sick of wearing my hair in twists or a twistout-(that doesn't look good nowadays for me). I would love to have roller set and do a wash n go w/out dealing with a lot frizz and shrinkage. I think I am just venting.

If anyone has any advice PM me or respond. I know that when the dust settles it's just hair but at the same time it's a part of me and how i present myself. If I don't like the way my hair is, I'm not gonna feel comfortable.

 

[sareca]

I don't have any advice, just wanted to wish you luck. I was natural for most of my adult life but never for more than 2-3 years at a time. I'm texturized now and love it, but you're right about the risks.

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

What is in the water?! All these naturals getting the relaxer itch?!

But anyways...with that said. I think that hair is just that hair. If you want to try being relaxed, then go for it! Its not permanent. If you dont like it, chop it off and start again. You know what natural life is like and how to take care of your hair. Maybe start with it texlaxed before you commit to straighter esp. if your hair is fine. Ive read that a lot of naturals liked texlaxing because it was the best of both worlds.

I went natural with the thought that one day, I might relax again. That day hasnt come yet, maybe it will, maybe it wont. So I say do whats best for you.

 

[Katt73]

Hey, Natstar! There was a thread about two weeks ago on the same topic...I'll see if I can find it to bump for you.

As for me, I was natural for about 10 years and wore locks for nine of those years. I got to a point where I just wanted to be able to COMB my hair again and feel it flutter in the breeze. However, I remembered vividly how much effort it took for me to care for my seriously 4B hair and keep it looking "polished" and knew I couldn't handle it. As I get older, I'm not in love with wearing braids and twists because they make me look even younger than I already do. I cut my hair into a pixie style in March '06 and haven't looked back. No regrets at all, though my friends and family couldn't believe I had done it.

A relaxer IS permanent, but so are locks. When I got tired of them, I cut them and started over. If I get tired of the relaxer, I'll transition, chop, and start over. The good thing about hair is that it grows...you're not locked into any one style for life.

 

[chellero]

I think that texlaxing was the best thing that ever happened to my hair. I loved being natural, but it was too much trouble. My hair was a dry tangly mess sometimes. The only thing about texlaxing is that if your stylist doesn't do it right then you'll have uneven texture through your strands from touch ups I am eventually going to have to chop off about 3 inches of too straight ends in order to get a decent looking wash and go. But before it was over straightened it was great. I recommend that if you go with texlaxing that you learn to do it yourself.

 

[pinkdot's blog]

I don't know if you are a weave wearer but why don't you get a strait one and wear it for a month and see how you feel. It could be like a trial period to see if you like it or not before you decide to take the plunge or not. Just remember that you can have healthy hair weather it is relaxed or natural. My hair is mostly 4/b (and some a) natural and I plan on perming once I reach full apl or bra strap.

 

[Evazhair]

I am not sure if all of this has been said, but:
I was in the same boat as you. I loved being natural, but I got tired of braid outs/twistouts after 9 years and the fact that my hair was midback but with shrinkage was a few inches below my shoulder. the styles I could wear were no longer flattering to my head shape,and whenever I would straighten with heat, the least amount of moisture within a mile of me would cause my hair to revert. I decided that relaxing for me would be at the better than daily flat ironing, even for my strong hair.

The good news is you are blessed with this forum.
My advice to you:

1. Don't let others influence your decision too much. My cousin who at first sorta clowned me for going natural at first, had herself went natural during my last few years. I had contemplated locking, and she following me started to lock her hair, and was "upset" that I had relaxed my hair. Sometimes I miss my natural texture, but I know I don't have the free time to flat iron daily.

2. Consider straightening with heat to see if it wil last longer than 1 hour [unlike me to before your very eyes unless I have the old fashioned hard press with the pressing comb on the fire!]

3. If you do relax, research the type of relaxer that is best for you. I being stubborn :angeldeviinsisted on Affirm sensitive scalp no lye, and it dried the crap out of my hair. I lost inches that I am still trying to regain, I am on my way.

4. If you do relax: don't assume that the products your natural hair loved will work with the relaxer.:angeldevi Another loss of length culprit: Pantene R&N, Cantu, etc. worked wonderfully when I was natural, but was the DEVIL to my relaxed hair. Try the line of products that go with your relaxer, and then branch out. You will already be miles ahead of me because you will have LHCF.
HTH!

 

[Windsy]

I am not sure if all of this has been said, but:
I was in the same boat as you. I loved being natural, but I got tired of braid outs/twistouts after 9 years and the fact that my hair was midback but with shrinkage was a few inches below my shoulder. the styles I could wear were no longer flattering to my head shape,and whenever I would straighten with heat, the least amount of moisture within a mile of me would cause my hair to revert. I decided that relaxing for me would be at the better than daily flat ironing, even for my strong hair.

The good news is you are blessed with this forum.
My advice to you:

1. Don't let others influence your decision too much. My cousin who at first sorta clowned me for going natural at first, had herself went natural during my last few years. I had contemplated locking, and she following me started to lock her hair, and was "upset" that I had relaxed my hair. Sometimes I miss my natural texture, but I know I don't have the free time to flat iron daily.

2. Consider straightening with heat to see if it wil last longer than 1 hour [unlike me to before your very eyes unless I have the old fashioned hard press with the pressing comb on the fire!]

3. If you do relax, research the type of relaxer that is best for you. I being stubborn :angeldeviinsisted on Affirm sensitive scalp no lye, and it dried the crap out of my hair. I lost inches that I am still trying to regain, I am on my way.

4. If you do relax: don't assume that the products your natural hair loved will work with the relaxer.:angeldevi Another loss of length culprit: Pantene R&N, Cantu, etc. worked wonderfully when I was natural, but was the DEVIL to my relaxed hair. Try the line of products that go with your relaxer, and then branch out. You will already be miles ahead of me because you will have LHCF.
HTH!

This is excellent advice and well stated.

 

[Katt73]

This is excellent advice and well stated.

Yes...where were you when I relaxed my hair???

 

[LittleMissScientist]

Evazhair offered excellent advice! I really agree w/ straightening in order to get a new look and take a break from twists/outs.

I relaxed after being natural for close to ten years as well. I was texturized and it was DEFINITELY fun for some time (I loved my wash-and-go!!!) but I am transitioning now because my hair retains length more easily and looks better straightened when it's natural.

Whatever you choose, know that your hair will continue to grow and the most important thing is to feel great about how it looks.

 

[caligirl]

I think about texturizing sometimes in order to have "wash and wear hair." But I'll be darned if somebody messes up my hair. Just think what happened with Curve salon. They had tons of women hooked on their silkener then they just up and bounced.

 

[PinkSkates]

Originally posted by caligirl
I think about texturizing sometimes in order to have "wash and wear hair." But I'll be darned if somebody messes up my hair. Just think what happened with Curve salon. They had tons of women hooked on their silkener then they just up and bounced.

Wow...I forgot about that. Thanks for the reminder; that's why I will never be dependent on anyone to do anything to my hair ever again.
OP, if you really want to relax, do so, just be prepared to be in control of your hair care. Good luck.

 

[Jade Feria]

I was natural for about 4.5 years and then i went back to relaxing. I wore weaves for a while and straightened my hair when it was natural, but I didn't really like the stress from weave installs and daily wear, and my hair couldn't stay straight to save my life...especially since I live in humid Miami. It also took me a long time to prepare my hair in the morning. Before relaxing, I made sure I had a plan as to how I was going to take care of my hair, and I set up my regimen. I have fine hair as well, so I made sure to keep manipulation by combs to a minimum, and I eliminated the use of brushes altogether. I relaxed in December of 2006, and thanks to some trial and error with products and boards like this and BHM, my hair has been doing well ever since.

 

[hopeful]

I bc'd in 2005, relaxed about 6 months later, then I bc'd again in 2006 and now have been natural for 18 months. When I relaxed after the first bc, I really regretted it. I got tired of touch ups and my weak areas once again got weaker. I could never get the hang of the protein thing and I got so much breakage it was just sad, for my personality, simple is better, and for me relaxing feels more complicated, I have to do so much to avoid breakage and damage, as a natural my hair is so much healthier and grows better, for me being natural is easier.

The past two weeks I have been very busy and have not been able to find the time to twist my hair, I've wanted to twist it so bad but cannot find the 3 or 4 hours (or the energy) it takes to twist my entire head. But I know this busy time will pass. So I just do big twists at night and in the morning undo the twists, fluff it up and keep it moving.

I am at a point that if I were to relax and suffered damage, I would be devastated, I could not say oh well it's just hair. So I'm just staying the course because what I want the most is health and length. Six months from now my hair will likely be longer than it has ever been in my entire life, I cannot risk losing that opportunity.

Have you had problems with relaxers in the past? Are you confident you have the skills to do it? Or do you have someone you trust to do it? If you do relax, please update us. Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be beautiful. Good luck to you.

 

[babyblue]

Hey natstar. This is exactly what I was going through before I decided to relax my hair this summer after being a loose haired natural going 7 on 8 years. The same old natural styles got boring to me and shrinkage was driving me crazy. My hairstyles just weren't looking good on me anymore and I wasn't enjoying my hair like I used to. It was then that I decided that I needed a change.

I too was scared of the permanency at first, but eventually I got over it. I figured it's not a big deal. it's just hair and if i dont like it i can always grow it out. At this point I was comfortable enough to take the plunge. Do I regret my decision? Nope! I love it so far and I dont see myself transitioning any time soon. My hair is more on the texlaxed side and has enough texture that I can still manipulate my hair to mimic some "natural" styles If I chooose.

Whatever u do,
-make sure you do ur research (brands, techniques etc.)
-STRAND TEST before you go ahead and do anything
-don't let what others negatively influence your decision

 

[natstar]

Thank you sooo much ladies. I have a lot of questions to ask myself and also research before I decide. I figure that while I doing all of this research and answering questions I can think of a decision that won't be based on how I feel right now about my hair and everything. I will give myself until the new year to think logically, create a plan and answer some questions that have been raised. Thanks again ladies for your input and advice.

 

[NewYorkgyrl]

What is in the water?! All these naturals getting the relaxer itch?!

LMAO This statemnet is funny as hell. But I guess I won't be drinking it!

 

[Dak]

I've thought about relaxing too. What stops me is that I don't see how, with all this hair now, I would not end up with some part of my hair over-processed. Even if I did just 1/2 my head at a time, I just don't see how I could keep the chemicals evenly timed.... So now I'm roller setting and enjoying a somewhat straighter look.