My S/O doesn't like the Satin Scarf

[LdyKamz]

Sunday night I was at my guy's house and it was almost time for bed. I had an important meeting Monday morning so I couldn't risk being late taking the time to do my hair. So I decided to do it that night. I told my guy I was going to do my hair and he said ok and didn't even look my way. I went in the bathroom, did my thing and came out with my satin scarf tied cutely on my head. As I paraded around the living room, straightening up before bed he looks over at me and say "umm I thought you were doing your hair?".

"I did already" I answered. He stared at me a little longer and then went back to watching television. Later that night as we settled into bed and he cuddled me in his arms he kept stroking my scarf. It was weird. The next morning before I left I woke him up to tell him I was leaving. His eyes lit up and he grabbed me and said "you look so beautiful! I was a little worried last night" I told him I would never wear the scarf again, I would just let all my hair break off and it would stay this short forever. I was being sarcastic and he said "OK" and he was so serious!

So right now I am shopping online for silk/satin pillowcases and sheets for his bed - that I will be charging to HIS credit card - so that he never has to see the scarf again. I can't believe I'm doing this. lol I've always been the type to say "if he doesn't like it, oh well". My my how I've changed.

My SO and I don't live together and I don't usually tie my hair up at night when I'm with him. But we're getting really serious and spending A LOT more time together. How do you ladies deal with protecting your hair when you live with a man.

 

[BostonMaria]

LMAO
You're gonna have to choose. Its either your hair or your boo! LOL

I keep the satin scarf tucked under my pillow. As soon as DH falls asleep I put that bad boy on.

 

[curlycrocheter]

I wear a silk something to bed every night. Whether it's a bonnet or scarf depends on my mood.

My SO hates them! But, he is the first to complain if I cut my hair. I always tell him, "This is what it takes to have the hair you love everyday."

After 5 years he's seen me with every manner of DC, henna, masque, treatment, plastic bag, tshirt, you name it on my head. He's pretty used it to by now, though he still feels the need to comment every time.

And btw..he stole my pillow with the silk pillow case on it, so I'm forced to wear the bonnet

 

[HanaKuroi]

I would repeat what you told him but I would lose the sarcasm. You are going TO BED. This is how we keep our hair healthy and strong. Sorry.

He is kind of rude. Sorry again.

I can't see any mentions on my IPhone. PM me if it is a must see. Allons y

 

[faithVA]

Sunday night I was at my guy's house and it was almost time for bed. I had an important meeting Monday morning so I couldn't risk being late taking the time to do my hair. So I decided to do it that night. I told my guy I was going to do my hair and he said ok and didn't even look my way. I went in the bathroom, did my thing and came out with my satin scarf tied cutely on my head. As I paraded around the living room, straightening up before bed he looks over at me and say "umm I thought you were doing your hair?".

"I did already" I answered. He stared at me a little longer and then went back to watching television. Later that night as we settled into bed and he cuddled me in his arms he kept stroking my scarf. It was weird. The next morning before I left I woke him up to tell him I was leaving. His eyes lit up and he grabbed me and said "you look so beautiful! I was a little worried last night" I told him I would never wear the scarf again, I would just let all my hair break off and it would stay this short forever. I was being sarcastic and he said "OK" and he was so serious!

So right now I am shopping online for silk/satin pillowcases and sheets for his bed - that I will be charging to HIS credit card - so that he never has to see the scarf again. I can't believe I'm doing this. lol I've always been the type to say "if he doesn't like it, oh well". My my how I've changed.

My SO and I don't live together and I don't usually tie my hair up at night when I'm with him. But we're getting really serious and spending A LOT more time together. How do you ladies deal with protecting your hair when you live with a man.

Target has satin pillow cases for $4 and they don't make you sweat to death.

I phased the bonnet in over time. I started with the pillow case then he saw me putting my hair in twists for the night, then I wore the beanie cap when we went out. One day I was just tired and had one flat twist around the front and back of my head and the center sticking up like heat miser. I was so tired I just couldn't care. He eventually got used to seeing my hair look crazy in the morning. Then I broke out the bonnet. He can deal with the bonnet as long as the sleepwear is nice

I wouldn't promise him you won't wear a bonnet. I don't know how you wear your hair but some of my styles require a bonnet for upkeep. The pillowcase won't cut it.

 

[Froreal3]

Is he black?

He needs to get over it. A silk scarf on ur head is not the worse he will see u if he's in for the long haul.

Sent from my Snow White Frost Galaxy S4

 

[LdyKamz]

Target has satin pillow cases for $4 and they don't make you sweat to death.

I phased the bonnet in over time. I started with the pillow case then he saw me putting my hair in twists for the night, then I wore the beanie cap when we went out. One day I was just tired and had one flat twist around the front and back of my head and the center sticking up like heat miser. I was so tired I just couldn't care. He eventually got used to seeing my hair look crazy in the morning. Then I broke out the bonnet. He can deal with the bonnet as long as the sleepwear is nice

I wouldn't promise him you won't wear a bonnet. I don't know how you wear your hair but some of my styles require a bonnet for upkeep. The pillowcase won't cut it.

I thought about giving the bonnet a try this weekend and see what happens since I only said he wouldn't see the scarf. lol I thought he would be able to deal with the scarf since my sleepwear is usually sexy.

 

[LdyKamz]

Is he black?

He needs to get over it. A silk scarf on ur head is not the worse he will see u if he's in for the long haul.

Sent from my Snow White Frost Galaxy S4

That's what I said! Thing is, I told him all about my scarfs and he bought me some really cute ones from the beauty supply store by his house. I guess he just expected not to see them. lol

 

[faithVA]

I thought about giving the bonnet a try this weekend and see what happens since I only said he wouldn't see the scarf. lol I thought he would be able to deal with the scarf since my sleepwear is usually sexy.

You are either going to train him in this area or he is going to train you. You have to decide which.

 

[SuchaLady]

One more vote for telling him to get over it.

 

[TopShelf]

Is he black?

I was just about to ask the same thing.

I remember spending the night with a guy I was dating and he asked me if I wasn't going to tie my hair down. Here I was worried so I brought my satin pillow case and he already had it in his mind that I would be wearing a scarf and was okay with it.....lol

 

[LdyKamz]

You are either going to train him in this area or he is going to train you. You have to decide which.

You're right! I like my bonnets better anyway. Those are here to stay. He'll get over it eventually.

 

[Mahsiah]

He'll just have to deal.

 

[january noir]

My SO has his opinions, but they don't matter. It's my hair and my job I have to go to in the morning so he'll just have to build a bridge and get over it.

 

[naija24]

Even many white women cover their hair at night, either to protect it or keep a style. men should stop expecting women to look PERFECT at all times. if he wants you to stay sexy with the hair, he needs to understand the work that goes into it.

 

[Channy31]

Same, i compromise and use a satin pillow case
I live with mine for 6 months of the year

but tbh even when im not with him I dont bother with a scarf

 

[Sholapie]

Just got myself a couple of satin pillow cases, I love them! Although my hair does get messier than if I were to wear a satin bonnet but it isn't dry and rough and just needs a bit of smoothing.

 

[MsChelle]

If I fall asleep with nothing on my head my SO will wake me up to tell me to put it on. He said it's easier and quicker than having to wait on me to "fix it" the next day. He has been with me from a tapered cut to now BSL and he knows the drill.

 

[Rocky91]

This ain't no black man for sure
Shoot my black SOs will be like "where's your scarf bae, your hair gon be all over the place" lol

Although to be honest I am team fuggehdaboutit some nights. Hell I'm not wearing a scarf with lingerie. Then I bun it the next morning and keep it trucking.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Britt]

This ain't no black man for sure Shoot my black SOs will be like "where's your scarf bae, your hair gon be all over the place" lol Although to be honest I am team fuggehdaboutit some nights. Hell I'm not wearing a scarf with lingerie. Then I bun it the next morning and keep it trucking. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

Lol ! For real! One of my exes used to make sure I had my scarf on - lol !

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[RocStar]

"I did already" I answered. He stared at me a little longer and then went back to watching television. Later that night as we settled into bed and he cuddled me in his arms he kept stroking my scarf. It was weird. The next morning before I left I woke him up to tell him I was leaving. His eyes lit up and he grabbed me and said "you look so beautiful! I was a little worried last night"

That is an incredibly rude and insensitive thing to say. Your "beauty" does not depend on if you are with or without a scarf. I get what he was trying to say, but his choice of words sucked.

 

[LdyKamz]

That is an incredibly rude and insensitive thing to say. Your "beauty" does not depend on if you are with or without a scarf. I get what he was trying to say, but his choice of words sucked.

Yeah I reamed him a new one for that. Because it bothered me a lot. I know what he meant but it still bothered me.

 

[Ogoma]

I told him I was going to put my scarf on because I hate hair touching my back or face when I sleep. He shrugged. He doesn't care and he is not black.

 

[BonBon]

I doubt most men like women wearing scarves to bed/ in bed.

Just some care more than others. I think he needed to word it in a different way, but I don't think he's alone in that thought

 

[spellinto]

I'm glad you posted this thread. My boyfriend and I will be living together soon and I'm wondering how he'll respond to the whole night scarf look. He knows I bring a special satin pillowcase with me if I sleep over but I don't think he knows why (my guess is that he assumes it's more comfortable). I've been looking for "cuter" satin scarves to invest in so I can look cute but keep my hair protected for the both of us.

I found these scarves on etsy: https://www.etsy.com/listing/163155992/fancy-black-satin-and-chiffon-striped?ref=favs_view_2

I'm close to purchasing, but I'm just wondering if they'll stay on my head at night. When I cover my hair, I really only need my hairline covered, and the ends I pin up. They come in cute different colors too. Hope this helps you in any way

PS: But yeah, the other ladies are right...eventually your boo's going to have to get used to it.

 

[sweethoney]

I may be in the minority, but I vote to keep it sexy and tie your hair after he falls asleep or sleep on a satin pillow case. These are the sexy times, there's more than enough time to wear it in a scarf in the future.

 

[qchelle]

I have never asked my SO if he liked my scarf/bonnet or not. Yet he has told me, on his own, that he likes it cuz it keeps my hair out of his face when we cuddle lol. He'll ask me to put it on if I forgot to, when in bed.

Good for him, cuz it's here to stay lol.
Other stats that may be relevant: we've been together for 1.5yrs, so it's serious.
He's white.

I'm on team "he should prolly just get over it", but i'm mean, so...lol

 

[Lilmama1011]

If he is black, he should be used to seeing a scarf from the females in his families. Some men have this false belief that their SO's are unicorns. There are many things females do to keep themselves up and that includes putting on a scarf. Most of us don't get up every morning and wash, blow dry, and straighten our hair like white women and would be unhealthy to do so for any race. I admit when I moved in with previous SO's and current I was self conscience about what he would think because bonnets does take you appeal down, idc how sexy the lingerie is(you look like someone grandma trying to be sexy lol). I think the scarfs are way better in appeal. But I remember one time he said before we coloured that it was hard to do so because of the bonnet and I gave him the look of death like then we won't color, he changed that real quick lol. One time we went out and we were drinking and I fell asleep, he woke me up to put on my scarf and was going to actually wrap my hair for me and put my scarf on he has gotten accustomed to it and actually likes the scarfs better than the bonnet, but I wear curls a lot do a lot of times I wear bonnets he wears du rags and stocking caps to bed so I feel that evens out, I don't mind the du rags because it's not ugly but the stocking cap I don't like but I don't complain, his hair is neat,moisturized when he wakes up, and waves on spin

 

[sylver2]

please..my scarf is my life if they cant deal i cant be w/ them. i wear that sucka even when im just chillin around house..not only bedtime. it gets worse at bedtime because i add the bonnet. my so is use to it. he laughs because i look funny& cute holdin on to it while we r doing the do lmao. besides..ive come to far w/ my hair..no man is worth the damage

 

[greenandchic]

My DH loves the scarf and even the bonnet. He things its cute and I'm not adverse to snatching it off when need be.

I think his love of the scarf comes from the fact that he know's I'm taking care of my hair as I take care of my skin, body, etc. He likes feminine women and the scarf, to him, is an aspect of that.