natural 4a getting frustrated

lwilliams1922

lwilliams1922

New Member
I'm in a rut. I havent realaxed my hair since around June 2006 so I have about 2 1/2 years of growth (apx 11 1/2 inches).

I just dont know what to do with it. Every time I think I have it figured out, I realize that I dont. :wallbash:

My husband called yesterday afternoon and said he wanted to go to a networking social and for me to get ready to go in 2 hrs.

I had done twists the day before but I did them while watching the ignauration on TV and the roots were all puffy because i wasn't paying attention. I was stuck and frustrated then I realized I just don't have a goto style yet.


I've tried bunning but my ends seem to get fuzzy on the last inch that is tucked in.

I havent been able to do a wash and go that doesnt frizz up like a brillow pad

twists seem to be what my hair likes the best but they are not consistent.
On the good days, they look nice and I take pictures but the other half of the time they just come out jacked up.

Braidouts also work sometimes and sometimes not. Doing two braids will stretch my hair and give it a larger curl pattern but some days it just like like a dry mess.

Last night I was thinking about giving it up and texlaxing.

I want to be natural but I have to figure something out.

I don't want to use heat on a regular basis. Is it possible to keep my curls and tame the dry frizz?

I know my hair craves moisture and I'm willing to continue the DCs with HSR that my hair seems to like 1-2 times a week but once my hair dries I'm back to the drawing board.

I'm also willing to keep sealing with oil but it seems like so much of it soaks through the TWO wraps I use onto the pillow case.

any suggestions?
 
Try doing more braids when you do your braidout, I am a natural as well, who hasn't had a relaxer in over 10 years, so believe me I know what you are going through in regards to your roots being puffy, I do not have naturaly perfect curly hair, or "good hair" as some would say. I have found that for me personally, the more braids I do for my braidout, the longer it lasts, and the better it looks. Here is a link to my fotki, http://public.fotki.com/GabbanaGirl/first-braidout/

I have a picture of how many braids I used, and the end result. Also are you doing your braidout on wet freshly washed hair? The wetter and more conditioned my hair is, when I do the braidout, the better my hair looks, and the more defined my curl pattern is. My braidouts last a while, from that style I can do lots of things, updo's, low buns with tendrils etc. I also use MINIMAL product when doing the braidout, this way I have loads of body. My steps are also in my fotki as well in the journal section if you are interested.

Now on to the sealing, you should only be using a little bit of oil, so if you are using enough to where it soaks through the scarf and pillowcase, it is entirely too much :) just a dab 'll do ya! Like literally maybe dime sized amounts!

You can definitely tame frizz without heat...have you tried ACV rinses? Or tea rinsing? One major part of having frizzy hair can be that the cuticle is opened after washing! Try rinsing out your condish with cool water, this closes the cuticle, acv rinsing also does the same thing while imparting sheen and restoring the natural ph of your hair...all this results to soft manageable hair that lasts far past wash day. What oils are you using to seal in moisture? A drop of coconut oil will do you, or a smidgen of castor oil, there are lots of oils to use, but you only need a little.

Also you can rinse with herbs like Licorice Root, or Marshmallow Root, or Irish Moss, something that has a lot of mucilage..that will give you good slip, act as anti frizz agent, a detangler, impart shine, moisturize, as well as a give your hair the vitamins, and minerals it needs.

HTH!
 
Hey L, totally feel you. I'm a smidge close to texlaxing. It just gets ridiculous. So many things to consider going there. If I do decide to texlax, it will be the mildest form possible (adding at least 1/2 oils and dc to my mix) because there are horror stories on that side of the fence also.

At the end of the day, us naturals want:
  • manageable hair
  • moisturized hair
  • strong hair
  • Hair that can sustain many style options
Managing my type of natural hair (4abz, fine yet wiry) is just like having to cut through unpopulated parts of the Amazon jungle with a machete. The only time I get a break is during washing and conditioning when my hair is hella wet.

I'm going to trim my hair another two inches and see the results. If that doesn't work, I think I'm going to submit to texlaxing. I've got hoards of research waiting in the wings if I decide to do it.

I'll pm you girl. By the way, your pics are fab. Looking at my avi I can't complain but when I think of all the work that went into that pic I just CRINGE.
 
natural2008 said:
Girl for times like this get you a wig.
Click to expand...

I've got the lace front I used to transition but in it's natural state my hair is so bushy you can tell. :wallbash:

that is really why i decided to go natural, There was too much hair under there to pull off the lace front anymore.

i think it defeats the purpose if I have to press my hair to contain it under a wig. :nono:
 
CenteredGirl said:
Hey L, totally feel you. I'm a smidge close to texlaxing. It just gets ridiculous. So many things to consider going there. If I do decide to texlax, it will be the mildest form possible (adding at least 1/2 oils and dc to my mix) because there are horror stories on that side of the fence also.

At the end of the day, us naturals want:
  • manageable hair
  • moisturized hair
  • strong hair
  • Hair that can sustain many style options
Managing my type of natural hair (4abz, fine yet wiry) is just like having to cut through unpopulated parts of the Amazon jungle with a machete. The only time I get a break is during washing and conditioning when my hair is hella wet.

I'm going to trim my hair another two inches and see the results. If that doesn't work, I think I'm going to submit to texlaxing. I've got hoards of research waiting in the wings if I decide to do it.

I'll pm you girl. By the way, your pics are fab. Looking at my avi I can't complain but when I think of all the work that went into that pic I just CRINGE.
Click to expand...


At the end of the day, us naturals want:
  • manageable hair
  • moisturized hair
  • strong hair
  • Hair that can sustain many style options

if I could just buy that in a bottle!!
 
natural2008 said:
Girl for times like this get you a wig.
Click to expand...

Yeah that's how I am but I won't like sometimes I want to wear my hair out so it's nice to have styles that enhance your natural hair as well. !!! I have been trying Southertease's bun and I must say it looks very elegant. You have more hair than me so you can definitely do it. I just use bobby pins but if you wanted to dress it up you could use some decorative pins.
 
lwilliams1922 said:
I've got the lace front I used to transition but in it's natural state my hair is so bushy you can tell. :wallbash:

that is really why i decided to go natural, There was too much hair under there to pull off the lace front anymore.

i think it defeats the purpose if I have to press my hair to contain it under a wig. :nono:
Click to expand...

Are cornrows not enough to get your hair to lay flat?
 
GabbanaGirl said:
Try doing more braids when you do your braidout, I am a natural as well, who hasn't had a relaxer in over 10 years, so believe me I know what you are going through in regards to your roots being puffy, I do not have naturaly perfect curly hair, or "good hair" as some would say. I have found that for me personally, the more braids I do for my braidout, the longer it lasts, and the better it looks. Here is a link to my fotki, http://public.fotki.com/GabbanaGirl/first-braidout/

I have a picture of how many braids I used, and the end result. Also are you doing your braidout on wet freshly washed hair? The wetter and more conditioned my hair is, when I do the braidout, the better my hair looks, and the more defined my curl pattern is. My braidouts last a while, from that style I can do lots of things, updo's, low buns with tendrils etc. I also use MINIMAL product when doing the braidout, this way I have loads of body. My steps are also in my fotki as well in the journal section if you are interested.

Now on to the sealing, you should only be using a little bit of oil, so if you are using enough to where it soaks through the scarf and pillowcase, it is entirely too much :) just a dab 'll do ya! Like literally maybe dime sized amounts!

You can definitely tame frizz without heat...have you tried ACV rinses? Or tea rinsing? One major part of having frizzy hair can be that the cuticle is opened after washing! Try rinsing out your condish with cool water, this closes the cuticle, acv rinsing also does the same thing while imparting sheen and restoring the natural ph of your hair...all this results to soft manageable hair that lasts far past wash day. What oils are you using to seal in moisture? A drop of coconut oil will do you, or a smidgen of castor oil, there are lots of oils to use, but you only need a little.

Also you can rinse with herbs like Licorice Root, or Marshmallow Root, or Irish Moss, something that has a lot of mucilage..that will give you good slip, act as anti frizz agent, a detangler, impart shine, moisturize, as well as a give your hair the vitamins, and minerals it needs.

HTH!
Click to expand...


thanks for the tips GabbanaGirl!
I think you may be right that perhaps I've been putting too much product on my hair. I guess I've been thinking that if my hair is dry, the more the better?

Your press looks lovely. How often do you press?
 
I can't be a big help with the product but here is my two cents:

- Shea butter is my stapple. Most of the time it's the only product I use on my hair after washing. This thing can do wonders to natural hair.

- For the bun, I put my hair in a ponytail, then I do 4/5 braids that I roll into a bun, going for this look
Hair_in_bun.JPG


- Another thing I do is two french braids reunited into a bun in the back like that
cindy3.jpg


HTH
 
lwilliams1922 said:
thanks for the tips GabbanaGirl!
I think you may be right that perhaps I've been putting too much product on my hair. I guess I've been thinking that if my hair is dry, the more the better?

Your press looks lovely. How often do you press?
Click to expand...

Your welcome, and thank you for the compliment :)

I used to press about once every two weeks, now I am on a no-heat regimen, so I haven't used heat in about two months now. I thought it would be difficult, but after finding the right products, my hair is easier to maintain then when I wore it pressed.

I definitely understand loading up on product because of dry hair, that just means that the product you are using probably isn't working for you...your hair should be soft, and manageable days after using. And you shouldn't have to use that much.

Try experimenting with different moisturizers, you can buy two, split your hair down the center, and use one on one side, and the other product on the other side.....note the texture on both sides, it's like trial and error finding the right product, but in the end it is sooo worth it. Sylver2 (I love her hair) uses NTM Silk Touch Leave In as a moisturizer and she loves it, maybe that might work for you.

If you are a mixtress, make your own moisturizing spritz (you can start off with simple store bought ingredients such as distilled water, a little aloe vera juice and glycerin, then if you like it, progress on to bigger and better ingredients..lol), you can make your own twist butter, murumuru mixed with mowrah is my fav right now...both are NON GREASY butters, that will make your har extremely soft!

You have gorgeous hair, I can't imagine you having a bad hair day!!!!
 
Your hair look good in the photo

I have been natural for 10+ years. I just notice recently that when my hair seems to stay dry, no matter how much moisture I use, by dcing with a protein conditioner (redken Extreme rescue force or CAT) and then a moisturizer, it tend to hold on to the moisture better.

After I wear braids for a long time, I really have to train it to stay straight with a flat iron & seran wrap under the dryer and keep it tied down with a scarf when at home.

At time, I have not worn my staight in a year. I have been mostly in braids or twists . So when my husband come with that last minute mess, it really depends on what style I am sporting, I just throw on a full or half wig. ( I've turn a linen closet into a wig shop, gurl).
Braid or twit extensions = poofy/curly style
Cornrows = straight (pull a little out the front to cover).

My focus at this time is on health and length and my hair tend to love twists, so I not willing to change my regi yet. I do understand that relaxers tend to be easier.

Hope this helps
 
I'm not gonna give any advice on pressing, etc, cuz I'm not anywhere near the boss of that :grin:

But I wanted to ask you why you don't like your wash n gos? What products do you use on them? How do you style it? Also what about puffs? Even if you have a bad twist out, a puff can fix it, at least temporarily.

Have you tried fingercoils? Rollersetting?
 
I'm in this boat too. All I do is wear my hair in a bun or wear a wig or weave. I rarely wear my hair out. It's too long to be short anymore but it's too short to be long and it's just doing this weird inbetween thing. I thought about texturizing but decided to wait until my 3 year mark and then revisit the idea. :ohwell:
 
It is so crazy that I posted a thread about taming frizz a couple of days ago. The most useful advice that I was told was to use SHEA BUTTER. I believe someone else mentioned this too. Try LeKair's Cholesterol Shea Butter. Quite a few people were raving about it on a separate thread. I really hope this helps! Have a great time.
 
Hey, if you can cornrow, why not rock them? I'm so jealous that I still can't plait, let along cornrow!:rolleyes::lachen:
 
have you tried wearing those twists under your wig? my twists AND cornrows are jacked, but i am sure you can make it work, especially if you use a scarf or cap to "compress" it all. i have only been in wigs for about a week and i love this option.

my hair is not as long as yours, but on the days i don't wash and go i will cowash my hair and let it dry in 6 huge twists, then pull those back into a puff. matter of fact, most days i am in a puff of some sort. i would be interested in seeing your wash and go's.

oh, and i hope i don't get stoned for it, but i don't seal with oil or use shea butter. my hair rebels against both. i am still getting great growth, maybe due to the amount i cowash.
 
I am a 4ab and my hair looks NOTHING like yours! Maybe I'm typing my hair wrong. It's straight up kanky.
ktykaty said:
I can't be a big help with the product but here is my two cents:

- Shea butter is my stapple. Most of the time it's the only product I use on my hair after washing. This thing can do wonders to natural hair.

- For the bun, I put my hair in a ponytail, then I do 4/5 braids that I roll into a bun, going for this look
Hair_in_bun.JPG


- Another thing I do is two french braids reunited into a bun in the back like that
cindy3.jpg


HTH
Click to expand...
 
Queen of frizz & puffy roots here, I haven't figured out how to combat it; I think it's just a fact of life for some of us naturals. :nono: It doesn't bother me all that much though.

Can you not spruce up a puff as a last-minute go-to style?
 
I've been in a rut too. You could try extensions maybe? Just to give your hair a break? I think my hair gets less frizzy after a nice egg + DC.

Maybe you need to switch up your products. Using each half of your head with two different moisturizers is a good idea.
 
lilsparkle825 said:
have you tried wearing those twists under your wig? my twists AND cornrows are jacked, but i am sure you can make it work, especially if you use a scarf or cap to "compress" it all. i have only been in wigs for about a week and i love this option.

my hair is not as long as yours, but on the days i don't wash and go i will cowash my hair and let it dry in 6 huge twists, then pull those back into a puff. matter of fact, most days i am in a puff of some sort. i would be interested in seeing your wash and go's.

oh, and i hope i don't get stoned for it, but i don't seal with oil or use shea butter. my hair rebels against both. i am still getting great growth, maybe due to the amount i cowash.
Click to expand...

I am the same way, shea butter does nothing for my hair but make it hard and dry, no matter how small, or how damp my hair is, & oils does it the same way so therefore I do not use them on my hair, It works wonders for others but it sucks for me.
 
ktykaty said:
I can't be a big help with the product but here is my two cents:

- Shea butter is my stapple. Most of the time it's the only product I use on my hair after washing. This thing can do wonders to natural hair.

- For the bun, I put my hair in a ponytail, then I do 4/5 braids that I roll into a bun, going for this look
Hair_in_bun.JPG


- Another thing I do is two french braids reunited into a bun in the back like that
cindy3.jpg


HTH
Click to expand...


interesting...
i think shea butter maybe part of my problem.
I liked it on my hair and I think I've been increasing the amount I use.
i think I should take it down to a tsp or less.

thanks!
 
KCcurly said:
I'm not gonna give any advice on pressing, etc, cuz I'm not anywhere near the boss of that :grin:

But I wanted to ask you why you don't like your wash n gos? What products do you use on them? How do you style it? Also what about puffs? Even if you have a bad twist out, a puff can fix it, at least temporarily.

Have you tried fingercoils? Rollersetting?
Click to expand...

my wash and go's (and puffs)frizz up into a dry looking mess.

my hair likes AO HSR for DC and moisture but I'm still testing things to hold my twistouts and wash and gos. So far Ive found that I do best without cones which seem to dry my hair out over time.

I've had good results with finger coils and twists but just not consistently.
 
Sorry you're frustrated.
Try different products on your wash n gos to experiment with what works best.
also try to DC more frequently so that your hair retains more moisture.
 
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