Natural Hair Mom going to Perm 11 Year's Old hair

[Country gal]

Okay here is my gripe. My co-worker transitioned to natural hair. She wears her hair natural now in a bush pushed off her face in a headband. Her daughter will be performing regularly for a dance company and they want her to wear a slick bun. Well the mother tells me (I am currently transitoning) that she is going to have a mild perm put in her hair at the shop. She feels it is better for her to have the mild perm than pushing her naturl hair back with gel. She says her daughter's hair is too nappy. She feels she is doing more damage by pulling it back in a pony tail all the time. It's her decison but I was like WTF. I had to just walk away from the conversation because it was illogical to me. I am so against young children getting "mild perms". Doesn't she realize that it is still a chemical, even if it is mild.

 

[Country gal]

Wanted to add, I did not start the thread as a natural versus relaxed hair thread. I just don't understand how you can make a concious choice to not perm your hair but it's okay for your daughter. Just like I know eating sugar filled food is not good for me but than I turn around and give it to my son.

 

[PhonyBaloney500]

That sounds pretty dumb to me. She's perming it just for a dance recital lol?

If she brushes her hair with water and SETS it with a scarf (learned this here) with a mild gel in it the bun will look great.

 

[Country gal]

I told her that. I do the same thing too. She says the company is picky and they don't want any strands showing. I just add a leave in conditioner when wet and slick it back to get it smooth. You can see little waves because my hair is natural curl to it.

That sounds pretty dumb to me. She's perming it just for a dance recital lol?

If she brushes her hair with water and SETS it with a scarf (learned this here) with a mild gel in it the bun will look great.

 

[Kalani]

When I was young I did ballet many years at a dance studio with an impeccable reputation and very strict! They also did not want a single unruly strand out of place, and the bun had to be in a specific position behind the head.

Back then my natural hair was very thick and tangly. Fortunately my mom knew about the wonders of Aubrey GPB and used that to comb through and tame my hair down a bit. Then she used a good sculpting lotion(like Paul Mitchell Awapuhi) and poured it on generously especially the sides then immediately combed it back into a bun before the lotion set.

It worked really well and my hair never seemed to sustain any damage from it(was in ballet for 8 years). It wasn't until relaxing that I ran into some problems. Luckily I was able to remedy them, and with the help of LHCF my relaxed hair is thriving! Still, I wouldn't recommend it for a young child.

 

[Country gal]

Thanks for the tip. I will let her know.

 

[CharUK]

I'm sorry but the company seems to be discriminating in my opinion, not that it justifies getting her daughters hair permed.

But honestly, not having strands showing? why not say, no natural afro carribeans in the show?

How stupid.

I hope your friend doesn't perm her hair.

xx

 

[Happy2BNappy]

Why doesn't she just get her hair straightened?? A good ol' "Press N' Curl" without the curl!!

 

[Country gal]

She thinks it will be better for her to have the beautician mildly perm her hair versus her pressing her hair. She thinks the pressing is worth. She washes her daughter's hair once every two weeks.

 

[Happy2BNappy]

She thinks it will be better for her to have the beautician mildly perm her hair versus her pressing her hair. She thinks the pressing is worth. She washes her daughter's hair once every two weeks.

I think she has it backwards!!

 

[good2uuuu]

So then , what are they gonna say at the company when those edges start breaking and chunks are sticking up all around her hairline? Unless her mom is going to be really religious in taling care of her hair, I just see this making things worse. Maybe you should direct her to this site so that she can get some really good advice and tips for taking care of her daughters hair.

 

[PhonyBaloney500]

I think she has it backwards!!

I agree. Once she gets a "mild perm" that's it--there's no turning back. It's straight to breakage and/or constant touch ups. And if it's mild, the hair might not even stay down anyway. I had "mild relaxers" as a child and my hair sure wasn't bone straight lol.

 

[webby]

That mother is just asking for trouble.

First of all, I understand that ballet is very regimented; I don't have a problem with that, but I know girls who danced with Dance Theatre of Harlem, Alvin Ailey and even white companies. They were not required to relax their hair. Those who did straighted or relax, did so by choice.

Secondly, the mother herself is transitioning, which means that she must, or let me rephrase, should know how to handle natural hair. Why would she put chemicals in her child's hair. That is definitely backwards, as someone else stated.

That's like saying, I won't drink cow's milk, because it has a lot of hormones in it, but I'll give it to my child. What's wrong with that woman?

 

[crml_buttafly]

i'm sorry but i think your friend is lying. my daughter has been a member of an awrd winning dance company since she was 2 years old,shes 5 now. they have never,ever said anything to me about her hair.

one year 2 days before her recital she cut into her ponytails and as a result had a huge short hunk in the front of her head. i couldnt do her hair for 2 days i was so mad! the day of her show i just used a good setting lotion,sculpting gel a scarf and a denman brush. she looked great and you couldnt even tell.

most of the AA or non-caucasian dancers who wear braids during the week dont get any slack from the instructors as long as their hair is neat and they are not messing with it during class it shouldnt be a problem.

what if the little girl had locs would the mom cut her locs off or would she make do with what she has?

 

[Country gal]

I am stingy with my board so I don't tell too many people about it. I am just going to leave it alone. I don't want her thinking I am trying to tell her what to do.