No Longer A Pastor's Wife

[momi]

A few of the ladies that have been here for a while knew that I was married to a pastor. While we are still married we no longer have a church. I have to be honest in saying that I do not miss it one bit. There was so much pressure constantly to make sure we had :enough: of everything; sound doctrine, resources, communication with members, activities.... it just became too much.

When the decision was made to close the church and the dust settled we realized we barely had a marriage left. For the first time in years we have actually been able to attend church without being under duress. We actually sat together with the children as a family. I cannot remember the last time we've been able to do that! The last couple of months we have used to grow closer to God and one another, and also establish traditions outside of "the church." Sadly, I do miss the relationships that I'd formed while in ministry - things are different know and we kind of feel like outsiders...

Anyway I just felt like sharing for no reason in particular.

Continue in the faith ladies!

 

[MrsHaseeb]

You and your husband made the right choice @momi So many times pastors and their wives are suffering because of the stress being put on their marriage and no one seems to blink an eye about it. May God continue to bless and keep you and your husband.

 

[Loving]

@momi I've always held the opinion that Pastors and their wives need a support group of their own. They pour so much time and emotional energy into people, yet most don't consider that the pastors and their families need someone to pour into their lives too.

At the end of the day, your family is your first and most important ministry.

 

[momi]

You and your husband made the right choice @momi So many times pastors and their wives are suffering because of the stress being put on their marriage and no one seems to blink an eye about it. May God continue to bless and keep you and your husband.

Thanks Sis :hugs:

 

[momi]

@momi I've always held the opinion that Pastors and their wives need a support group of their own. They pour so much time and emotional energy into people, yet most don't consider that the pastors and their families need someone to pour into their lives too.

At the end of the day, your family is your first and most important ministry.

You are absolutely right @Loving - people have no idea. In my case much of the stress was self imposed. If something wasn't right at church I often took responsibility even if the decision or situation had nothing to do with me. People these days have such high expectations, but sadly there are very few committed enough to work along side you to assist. Many of them just want to complain. I used to always say to my sister, if I ever had the chance to join another church I'd be the best member on the roll. I'd give, serve, and complain only if I was willing to help.

We had one member who would complain and send 1,000 emails about pretty much nothing. I finally told here just to come and help and if she had any ideas we could talk about implementing them at that time. She actually told me " the Lord just sent me here to critique and not to help." Yes she actually said that.

 

[MrsHaseeb]

You are absolutely right @Loving - people have no idea. In my case much of the stress was self imposed. If something wasn't right at church I often took responsibility even if the decision or situation had nothing to do with me. People these days have such high expectations, but sadly there are very few committed enough to work along side you to assist. Many of them just want to complain. I used to always say to my sister, if I ever had the chance to join another church I'd be the best member on the roll. I'd give, serve, and complain only if I was willing to help.

We had one member who would complain and send 1,000 emails about pretty much nothing. I finally told here just to come and help and if she had any ideas we could talk about implementing them at that time. She actually told me " the Lord just sent me here to critique and not to help." Yes she actually said that.

Wow @ the bolded. But yeah I know your pain. My uncle is a pastor and has had church folk cuss at him and everything, right in church in front of God, the kids and everybody. They criticize his wife for wearing a sleeveless dresses. I'm happy you and your husband made the decision you did because greed keeps many from doing the same. A lot of pastors and their wives are burnt out.

 

[Shimmie]

@momi...

So happy for you and hubby. Your marriage and family are 'first' and foremost. You did the right thing, for both of you and your children. God bless you and I mean this, truly... God Bless You.

Love,
Shimmie

 

[Shimmie]

Wow @ the bolded. But yeah I know your pain. My uncle is a pastor and has had church folk cuss at him and everything, right in church in front of God, the kids and everybody. They criticize his wife for wearing sleeveless dresses. I'm happy you and your husband made the decision you did because greed keeps many from doing the same. A lot of pastors and their wives are burnt out.

At the bolded.

Now see, they'd be put out of my Church and fast. Some folks think that they 'own' you. They don't. Jesus is the one and only one who died and paid for 'all of me' and my sleeveless dresses.

Glory to God!

 

[MrsHaseeb]

At the bolded.

Now see, they'd be put out of my Church and fast. Some folks think that they 'own' you. They don't. Jesus is the one and only one who died and paid for 'all of me' and my sleeveless dresses.

Glory to God!

Lol. Amen.

 

[Shimmie]

Lol. Amen.

The way I see it, as long as my underarms are clean and shaved (waxed ) and I have on deodorant and my arms and elbows aren't ashy, it's no one's business if I wear a sleeveless dress.

It's my husband's and God's call as to what I wear.

Some women in Churches just need to learn what 'mind ya' business means and do just that, 'mind their business'.

 

[MrsHaseeb]

The way I see it, as long as my underarms are clean and shaved (waxed ) and I have on deodorant and my arms and elbows aren't ashy, it's no one's business if I wear a sleeveless dress.

It's my husband's and God's call as to what I wear.

Some women in Churches just need to learn what 'mind ya' business means and do just that, 'mind their business'.

It's very hypocritical to worry about the Pastors wife not having sleeves but in the same letter be cussing him out. Straining out gnats and swallowing camels is what that is. I don't understand people.

 

[Shimmie]

It's very hypocritical to worry about the Pastors wife not having sleeves but in the same letter be cussing him out. Straining out gnats and swallowing camels is what that is. I don't understand people.

Hence my response and all the more reason I pray fully in heart for those in Ministry.

It's a call that I do not take for granted. I have the highest regard for those who lead; for there are many 'fangs' (wolves) among the sheep trying their best to wear folks out with their intrusions and distractions.

 

[Laela]

Hi, momi... Well I'm happy for you and hubby, doing what is best for your marriage and family, and that you're continuing in the faith. That's important!
Hugz ~

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Glad you made the best decision for your marriage and family. This is one reason I support a celibate priesthood. The Church is the bride of Christ. An earthly man can't successfully shepherd a wife and the body of Christ IMO.

 

[momi]

@momi...

So happy for you and hubby. Your marriage and family are 'first' and foremost. You did the right thing, for both of you and your children. God bless you and I mean this, truly... God Bless You.

Love,
Shimmie

Thanks @Shimmie and everyone

 

[kanozas]

Glad you made the best decision for your marriage and family. This is one reason I support a celibate priesthood. The Church is the bride of Christ. An earthly man can't successfully shepherd a wife and the body of Christ IMO.

I was thinking this as well except that, in the Eastern tradition under Rome or not, there is the tradition of married priests. It's never easy. Rabbis don't have it all that great either. It's a lot of stress. If @momi and her husband decide to hit up the ministry again, maybe they can serve in another way as deacons or something. I'm glad they were able to salvage their marriage.