Ok, what the ----- am i doing wrong??

S

silverscreenx

New Member
It seems like the more I try to take care of my hair, the more it seems to hate me. My hair has grown but I can never seem to retain length because it's always breaking. No matter what I do or use my hair just seems to snap off like crazy. The last time I washed it/de-tangled it this is the amount of hair that came out....


I deep condition weekly, I moisturize and seal twice a day. I hardly ever use heat...maybe once or twice a month. The rest of the time I either wrap, pincurl, or wear my hair up. I'm relaxed but my last relaxer was 11 weeks ago. I'm taking biotin, MSM, and a multivitamin. I use sulfate free shampoos. I do a protein treatment about once a month. I try to stay away from heavy proteins because my hair seems to always need moisture. I've tried using porosity control and ACV rinses to fix porosity issues but NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK!

I'm honestly thisclose to just giving up.

:nono::perplexed:ohwell:
 

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Are those broken hairs or shed hairs? You can get up to 100 shed hairs a day. I finger detangle in the shower and get maybe like 6 hairs a day out, then when I do my weekly detangling, I'll have a bigger ball. But, that's from the entire week and it's no where near 700 hairs.
 
It seems like you're doing everything right...I hope the breakage stops for you... :hug:
 
EllePixie said:
Are those broken hairs or shed hairs? You can get up to 100 shed hairs a day. I finger detangle in the shower and get maybe like 6 hairs a day out, then when I do my weekly detangling, I'll have a bigger ball. But, that's from the entire week and it's no where near 700 hairs.
Click to expand...

A mixture of broken and shed but a lot of them are broken hairs.
 
i was using aphogee 2 step for a while then i stopped and used the 2 min. reconstructor...but i'm not really sure what level of protein i need or what i should use. :\
 
Okay, hmmm...porosity control and ACV will only help your hair if it's high porosity, but you said your hair needs moisture more often, so you might not need these treatments. I don't have a relaxer but my hair is low porosity and if I used ACV, Porosity Control, and did protein treatments, my hair would become very dry and brittle. What moisturizers are you using?
 
I'm sorry to hear about this!

A few more ?s:
When does your hair break?
How you detangle? What tools, method, do you start from the bottom, how often?
How does your hair feel to the touch?
How long are the broken hairs?
is relaxer overlap a possibility?
Is your hair colored or other chem process other than relaxer?
What methods/tools/accessories do you use for your PS?
 
EllePixie said:
Okay, hmmm...porosity control and ACV will only help your hair if it's high porosity, but you said your hair needs moisture more often, so you might not need these treatments. I don't have a relaxer but my hair is low porosity and if I used ACV, Porosity Control, and did protein treatments, my hair would become very dry and brittle. What moisturizers are you using?
Click to expand...

I'm using ORS Olive Oil Hair Lotion, Afroveda Shea-Amla Whipped Butter Cream and MegaGrowth Anti-Breakage Strengthener Growth Lotion...not all at once though. I seal with EVCO.
 
KittyMeowMeow said:
I'm sorry to hear about this!

A few more ?s:
When does your hair break?
How you detangle? What tools, method, do you start from the bottom, how often?
How does your hair feel to the touch?
How long are the broken hairs?
is relaxer overlap a possibility?
Is your hair colored or other chem process other than relaxer?
What methods/tools/accessories do you use for your PS?
Click to expand...

1. My hair breaks whenever I comb it or finger comb it, like when I moisturize/seal I get tiny broken hairs all over my hands. It also breaks when I detangle it/comb it after showering. So basically any manipulation and I get some breakage.
2. I detangle in the shower when my hair has conditioner in it. I use a Jilbere shower comb. I also use a brush with rubber tips to kind of comb through my hair daily/every other day... esp. this much post relaxer to keep my hair from matting/getting tangled. I always start from the bottom and work my way to the top.
3. My hair is generally soft. It doesn't feel dry or anything.
4. The broken hairs range in size from tiny (less than an inch) to almost the length of a full strand of hair (I don't think they're shed hairs because they're missing the bulb). They're mostly medium sized though...like bigger than an inch but not a full length of hair.
5. I don't think relaxer overlap is a possibility. Relaxers in general could be a problem though because sometimes I relax at home and sometimes I relax in a salon. I've heard switching relaxers is bad for you?
6.Nope, never colored or otherwise chemically processed my hair other than relaxers.
 
silverscreenx said:
I'm using ORS Olive Oil Hair Lotion, Afroveda Shea-Amla Whipped Butter Cream and MegaGrowth Anti-Breakage Strengthener Growth Lotion...not all at once though. I seal with EVCO.
Click to expand...

I don't know about the ORS, but I use my AfroVeda butters more for sealing rather than moisture - they have a lot of oils, which for me are not enough to moisturize. Also, I have the MegaGrowth Lotion and it really dries my hair out even if I apply to dry hair and it feels soft - I think it's mainly due to the soybean oil and all the protein in it.
 
when you moisturize do you make sure you really get to the new growth and rub it in? I'm 12 weeks post and i have to do that or it'll be all dry in there and i'll get breakage at the demarcation line

i say this all the time, but maybe your hair needs a break (like braid it up for a while)?

you haven't mentioned (or i may have overlooked it) dc'ing, maybe you could incorporate that into your regimen

good luck!!!!!
 
I think that you need to simplify your routine. I would stop using the ACV, protein, and porosity control and just wash and condition and then moisturize and seal if you want to. Then see if you retain length. If you do then it's likely that you don't need to add those steps to your routine. If you don't retain any length then you can add one back at a time and see how your retention is affected by each one and if they're helpful or not.

Also it's hard to avoid breakage when you're stretching. I don't stretch, the one time I did I got so much breakage I vowed to never do it again. So, maybe you should do a little experiment and see if stretching is for you.

I think I can picture the type of brush you're using to brush your new growth. Are you sure that that's a good idea? Maybe I'm picturing the wrong type of brush, but I wouldn't use a brush to detangle. I use a seamless plastic widetooth comb to detangle.

It's ok to switch relaxers if you want to. Do you use no-lye? That could be a cause of the breakage too.

Basically my advice is to go back to basics (wash and condtion) and see if your retention improves and if it doesn't then add/change one thing at a time and see if it positively or negatively affects your hair.

Good luck!
 
imaccami said:
I think I can picture the type of brush you're using to brush your new growth. Are you sure that that's a good idea? Maybe I'm picturing the wrong type of brush, but I wouldn't use a brush to detangle. I use a seamless plastic widetooth comb to detangle.
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I agree with all of imaccami's advice especially the point about not brushing.
 
EllePixie said:
I don't know about the ORS, but I use my AfroVeda butters more for sealing rather than moisture - they have a lot of oils, which for me are not enough to moisturize. Also, I have the MegaGrowth Lotion and it really dries my hair out even if I apply to dry hair and it feels soft - I think it's mainly due to the soybean oil and all the protein in it.
Click to expand...

What do you use to moisturize? The MegaGrowth Lotion kind of just sits on top of my hair so if I use it too often my hair looks greasy and limp.
 
The ORS used to do the same to my hair. Just sit on top of it. Perhaps it was all of the mineral oil/petroleum in it, but I stopped using it.
 
I think that if your hair is in such a weakened state that it breaks when you touch it (to moisturize), then using heat once or twice a month is still too much. It doesn't sound like your hair can handle very much stress right now.

Also, doesn't leaving a relaxer in too long weaken it as well? (Not just overlapping.) I'm far from an expert on relaxers, I haven't had one in 8 years, but I remember going to salons and having my stylist apply the relaxer and then go off to start on another client and gauge the time by asking me whether I was burning or not. :nono:
 
My hair is starting to do this too.... Im chalking it up to heat damage from my trip out of town last month....
 
That doesn't look like a whole lot of hair to me, but you can probably be a better judge of it since it's your hair.

Don't get discouraged. Deep condition with heat with every wash using a moisturizing conditioner (occasionally alternating with your protein treatment - 2 min is good, you probably don't need two-step unless your hair is severely damaged). Take pictures of your hair so that you will be able to see your progress. It makes a huge difference in helping you keep your morale up.

ETA: When I first started growing my hair, I was living in DC. I went to the Dominicans to get my hair set since it was too short to do much else. If you get frustrated you could do that, just skip the blowdry!
 
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for me
breakage ALWAYS = too much protein.

moisturize moisturize and then go from doing your hair every week to maybe every 10 days to 2 weeks could be too much manipulation.
 
i'm so sad this happened to you and agree with the helpful comments you've been given.

also, please check your ingredients well. like said, things like ORS have ingredients which actually dry out our hair, so while we think we're "moisturizing our hair", it's actually giving us the opposite effect.
that's why my bottle of ORS is just collecting dust. (amongst similar products.)

also, just to think of brushing with all that ng 11 weeks post made me go "ouch"!

if you want to distribute the natural oils from your scalp, massaging it is healthier; if you want to detangle your ng, fingers are safer.

one thing that's helped me alot if to get an applicator bottle and fill it 50/50 with jbco and evoo.
apply this directly to your ng and i assure you it will soften up!

another thing which helped me get alot of moisture back in my hair when i had a protein overload moment was, surprisingly: 100% pure vegetable glycerine!
it took me like 3 days of dc'ing overnight with a good mix, but then my hair was back to being soft again.

i used glycerine, AO HSR, banana baby food, evoo, jbco and whgo for the ceramides.
i applied it section by section like i would apply a perm.
i then wrapped my hair in saran wrap and put a plastic cap over that with my bonnet over that.

3 days after this overnight treatment (mind you, i ONLY finger combed/detangled until the problem was fixed) and my hair was pliable again!

maybe baggy bunning and overnight baggying will help too.

i hope this clears up soon!
 
Ummm....maybe it's just me, but that doesn't look like a lot of shedding to me. :look: In fact, that looks about normal for someone who's washing and detangling their hair in the shower. I get the same amount when I wash.

I'm not trying to minimize your plight OP, I'm just trying to put things in perspective for you. It doesn't look like drastic hair shedding you should be afraid of. We shed at least 100 hairs a day, so if you only wash/or comb your hair once or twice a week, then you're probably going to see hairs in the shower. Now if you're loosing CLUMPS of hair every single time you comb or brush your hair, THEN maybe I would be concerned.

That's just my .02 cents worth. :look:
 
silverscreenx said:
What do you use to moisturize? The MegaGrowth Lotion kind of just sits on top of my hair so if I use it too often my hair looks greasy and limp.
Click to expand...

I use more water based moisturizers but I don't wear my hair straight, so I don't worry about it reverting.

Have you tried coconut oil? Unlike most oils, it penetrates the hair shaft. Also, Komaza's Shea Butter lotion is marketed towards relaxed women, and it's a great moisturizer. Are you using these products on wet or dry hair?
 
I also don't think that is a lot of shedding but if most of it is breakage I understand your concern.

When you moisturize do your ends feel dry. I read above where you said your hair is soft normally . If your hair is so soft I don't think it is necessary to moisturize/seal twice a daily. Too much moisture can cause breakage as well. I used to do the same thing moisturize/seal twice a day until I started using kimmay leave-in conditioner after a wash. My hair was so soft I knew it would be unnecessary to apply additional moisture to my hair. Once I stopped that normal routine of moisturizing and sealing twice a day, I saw less breakage.

Also, instead of doing routine protein treatments maybe you should do the hair strand test to figure out what you need to DC with (i.e. moisture or protein).
 
imaccami said:
I think that you need to simplify your routine. I would stop using the ACV, protein, and porosity control and just wash and condition and then moisturize and seal if you want to. Then see if you retain length. If you do then it's likely that you don't need to add those steps to your routine. If you don't retain any length then you can add one back at a time and see how your retention is affected by each one and if they're helpful or not.

Also it's hard to avoid breakage when you're stretching. I don't stretch, the one time I did I got so much breakage I vowed to never do it again. So, maybe you should do a little experiment and see if stretching is for you.

I think I can picture the type of brush you're using to brush your new growth. Are you sure that that's a good idea? Maybe I'm picturing the wrong type of brush, but I wouldn't use a brush to detangle. I use a seamless plastic widetooth comb to detangle.

It's ok to switch relaxers if you want to. Do you use no-lye? That could be a cause of the breakage too.

Basically my advice is to go back to basics (wash and condtion) and see if your retention improves and if it doesn't then add/change one thing at a time and see if it positively or negatively affects your hair.

Good luck!
Click to expand...

That's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm getting too overwhelmed with all of this so I'm just going to go back to the basics.
 
EllePixie said:
I use more water based moisturizers but I don't wear my hair straight, so I don't worry about it reverting.

Have you tried coconut oil? Unlike most oils, it penetrates the hair shaft. Also, Komaza's Shea Butter lotion is marketed towards relaxed women, and it's a great moisturizer. Are you using these products on wet or dry hair?
Click to expand...

I do use coconut oil to seal. I use them on both wet and dry hair.
 
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