Persistant Coworker

Discussion in 'Christian Fellowship' started by Ayesha81, Nov 4, 2018.

  1. Ayesha81

    Ayesha81 Well-Known Member

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    Good day ladies,

    My coworker invited me to her church; I went only 2 times but realized Im not comfortable there.
    But she still keeps calling me to come even though I have given her several excuses. She texted me several times on friday to attend worship. And just this morning she called me 4 times that she saved a seat and is waiting on me. This has been going on for several weeks. I know she means well but how do I get her to back off.
     
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  2. Godsdaughter001

    Godsdaughter001 Well-Known Member

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    I would be honest with her and tell her that I don't feel comfortable at the church and won't be attending again. If she asks why - it's up to you whether or not to tell her why. Personally, I wouldn't. She seems very pushy, so you have to be direct with her.
     
  3. janiebaby

    janiebaby Well-Known Member

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    I agree with @Godsdaughter001 ...and I wouldn't tell her why because she'll probably have a come back for anything you throw at her
     
  4. Ayesha81

    Ayesha81 Well-Known Member

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    dup post.
     
  5. awhyley

    awhyley "Zexy Lover"

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    Or on the flip side, if you already have a church home, you can tell that you're more comfortable there (instead of telling her that her church sucks), and that you're not leaving where you are.
     
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  6. Iwanthealthyhair67

    Iwanthealthyhair67 Well-Known Member

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    wow, I'm not calling anyone 4 times that's a lot

    be honest and tell her you are not coming
     
  7. Ayesha81

    Ayesha81 Well-Known Member

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    I did tell her the week before I was not coming but she doesnt listen. Then today at work she asked me what happened if I fell asleep. Yikes!
     
  8. Ayesha81

    Ayesha81 Well-Known Member

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    I told her about my preferred home church still she ignores it.
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2018
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  9. janiebaby

    janiebaby Well-Known Member

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    Ok she's making ME uncomfortable. Can you gently ask her to not invite you anymore. Like tell her you appreciate her persistence however you would like her to stop inviting you for the time being.

    Oh and thank her for understanding. Then walk off.
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2018
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  10. Iwanthealthyhair67

    Iwanthealthyhair67 Well-Known Member

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    unfortunately, she is one that you have to be painfully direct with
     
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  11. RUBY

    RUBY Well-Known Member

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    If you already have a church home that your happy with, why did she see fit to invite you to her church in the first place? And why did you go in the first place?
     
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  12. Ms. Tarabotti

    Ms. Tarabotti Well-Known Member

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    Are you sure that it is a church and not a cult?

    Sometimes people will invite you to a special event that their church is having or to hear a special speaker- that's fine. But to invite you over and over again especially when your behavior has indicated that you aren't interested has all the markings to me of a cult ( and sounds like harassment ).

    If she asks you again, you could say that you are more comfortable at your church. Remember also, that 'No' is a complete sentence, you don't have to tell her anything besides that.
     
  13. Laela

    Laela Regality comes naturally

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    Sounds to me like signals are being crossed or your communication to her isn't clear. She called you 4 times about saving her a seat, which sounds like she thinks you were coming.
    Did you even answer the phone when she tried to call you those 4 times?
     
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  14. Ayesha81

    Ayesha81 Well-Known Member

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    No I didnt answer the 4 times but I called her back and her husband picked up (she was singing in the choir when I called back) and told me she's hoping I would show up. We became friend's though work but I didnt expect it would lead to this.
     
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  15. janiebaby

    janiebaby Well-Known Member

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    Something similar happened to me at work with someone who tried to get me into mindfulness meditation.
     
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  16. awhyley

    awhyley "Zexy Lover"

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    Is she bothering other co-workers with her invites or just you?
     
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  17. Ayesha81

    Ayesha81 Well-Known Member

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    Its not just me she has invited other coworkers but they declined right away to go to her church.
     
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  18. Laela

    Laela Regality comes naturally

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    Are you saying she has a reputation you weren't aware of and others were?



     
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  19. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    Is she a Jehovah's witness???
     
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  20. Ayesha81

    Ayesha81 Well-Known Member

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    No. Christian.
     
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  21. newgrowth15

    newgrowth15 Well-Known Member

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    @Ayesha81, thank your co-worker for inviting you to attend her church and then tell her that you prefer your own. She cannot argue with your preferences and you will not feel like you let her down.
     
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  22. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    Her behavior borders on cult recruitment.

    Just tell her to beat it because you already have a church home. :lachen:
     
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  23. shortycocoa

    shortycocoa Divorce Court Aficionado

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    May I ask, how is this different from regular meditation?

    I'm sorry you're being harassed. It sounds like you should have followed suit. I agree with the others; tell her no again and be firm with her. Ask that she stop inviting you to go. Then report her to HR. Make sure you have documented all the times she asked and continued asking after you said no. She shouldn't even be asking you that at work. Work is for work.

    I wanted to suggest that you tell her you're an Atheist, but I have the feeling that she would be even more aggressive with her invites after that.

    ETA: I hope I haven't offended you or anyone else with this statement.

    I agree with all of this, also. Sounds like it might be a cult. Be careful, OP! What was the name of the church? Sometimes the name of it is a dead giveaway that it's a cult and not a church. Other markings are there, but this is a big one.
     
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  24. Kurlee

    Kurlee Well-Known Member

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    which denomination? :look:
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2018 at 8:29 PM
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  25. Laela

    Laela Regality comes naturally

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    I don't see the "cult-like" behavior from the little info we're getting here.... it's more like behavior from someone who is in the dark or being strung along. I believe a lot of the problem is miscommunication or not being clear/truthful with her.


     
  26. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    I agree that OP could definitely be more definitive with her response- but eight different points of contact for one invite? I definitely consider that excessive.
     
  27. janiebaby

    janiebaby Well-Known Member

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    @Ayesha81 any updates? Or are you just waiting for it to come up again?
     

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