Persistant Coworker

Discussion in 'Christian Fellowship' started by Ayesha81, Nov 4, 2018.

  1. Ayesha81

    Ayesha81 Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    2
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,745
    Likes Received:
    9,076
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Mo' County, Maryland
    Delete
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2019
    shortycocoa and janiebaby like this.
  2. Godsdaughter001

    Godsdaughter001 Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    1
    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2013
    Messages:
    1,968
    Likes Received:
    15,825
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I would be honest with her and tell her that I don't feel comfortable at the church and won't be attending again. If she asks why - it's up to you whether or not to tell her why. Personally, I wouldn't. She seems very pushy, so you have to be direct with her.
     
  3. janiebaby

    janiebaby Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2006
    Messages:
    14,513
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    33,889
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I agree with @Godsdaughter001 ...and I wouldn't tell her why because she'll probably have a come back for anything you throw at her
     
  4. Ayesha81

    Ayesha81 Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    2
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,745
    Likes Received:
    9,076
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Mo' County, Maryland
    dup post.
     
  5. awhyley

    awhyley "Zexy Lover"

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2008
    Messages:
    12,287
    Likes Received:
    37,424
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Nassau, Bahamas
    Or on the flip side, if you already have a church home, you can tell that you're more comfortable there (instead of telling her that her church sucks), and that you're not leaving where you are.
     
  6. Iwanthealthyhair67

    Iwanthealthyhair67 Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    2
    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2009
    Messages:
    8,142
    Likes Received:
    26,703
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Under the Shadow of HIS wings
    wow, I'm not calling anyone 4 times that's a lot

    be honest and tell her you are not coming
     
  7. Ayesha81

    Ayesha81 Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    2
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,745
    Likes Received:
    9,076
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Mo' County, Maryland
    Delete.
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2019
  8. Ayesha81

    Ayesha81 Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    2
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,745
    Likes Received:
    9,076
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Mo' County, Maryland
    Delete.
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2019
    janiebaby likes this.
  9. janiebaby

    janiebaby Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2006
    Messages:
    14,513
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    33,889
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Ok she's making ME uncomfortable. Can you gently ask her to not invite you anymore. Like tell her you appreciate her persistence however you would like her to stop inviting you for the time being.

    Oh and thank her for understanding. Then walk off.
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2018
  10. Iwanthealthyhair67

    Iwanthealthyhair67 Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    2
    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2009
    Messages:
    8,142
    Likes Received:
    26,703
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Under the Shadow of HIS wings

    unfortunately, she is one that you have to be painfully direct with
     
    Shimmie, Pat Mahurr, momi and 2 others like this.
  11. RUBY

    RUBY Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2003
    Messages:
    5,110
    Likes Received:
    21,286
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Dreamland
    If you already have a church home that your happy with, why did she see fit to invite you to her church in the first place? And why did you go in the first place?
     
    shortycocoa, Pat Mahurr and Laela like this.
  12. Ms. Tarabotti

    Ms. Tarabotti Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2010
    Messages:
    1,900
    Likes Received:
    16,626
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Brooklyn
    Are you sure that it is a church and not a cult?

    Sometimes people will invite you to a special event that their church is having or to hear a special speaker- that's fine. But to invite you over and over again especially when your behavior has indicated that you aren't interested has all the markings to me of a cult ( and sounds like harassment ).

    If she asks you again, you could say that you are more comfortable at your church. Remember also, that 'No' is a complete sentence, you don't have to tell her anything besides that.
     
  13. Laela

    Laela Between point A and point B

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2002
    Messages:
    17,001
    Likes Received:
    31,164
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Sounds to me like signals are being crossed or your communication to her isn't clear. She called you 4 times about saving her a seat, which sounds like she thinks you were coming.
    Did you even answer the phone when she tried to call you those 4 times?
     
    Shimmie, Ayesha81 and ElegantPearl17 like this.
  14. Ayesha81

    Ayesha81 Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    2
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,745
    Likes Received:
    9,076
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Mo' County, Maryland
    Delete.
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2019
    Shimmie and Laela like this.
  15. janiebaby

    janiebaby Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2006
    Messages:
    14,513
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    33,889
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Something similar happened to me at work with someone who tried to get me into mindfulness meditation.
     
    Ayesha81 likes this.
  16. awhyley

    awhyley "Zexy Lover"

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2008
    Messages:
    12,287
    Likes Received:
    37,424
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Nassau, Bahamas
    Is she bothering other co-workers with her invites or just you?
     
    shortycocoa likes this.
  17. Ayesha81

    Ayesha81 Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    2
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,745
    Likes Received:
    9,076
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Mo' County, Maryland
    Delete.
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2019
  18. Laela

    Laela Between point A and point B

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2002
    Messages:
    17,001
    Likes Received:
    31,164
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Are you saying she has a reputation you weren't aware of and others were?



     
    Shimmie likes this.
  19. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2006
    Messages:
    8,124
    Media:
    2
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    25,360
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Somewhere out there
    Is she a Jehovah's witness???
     
    Shimmie likes this.
  20. Ayesha81

    Ayesha81 Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    2
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,745
    Likes Received:
    9,076
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Mo' County, Maryland
    No. Christian.
     
    Shimmie and momi like this.
  21. newgrowth15

    newgrowth15 Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2008
    Messages:
    1,790
    Likes Received:
    2,407
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Outside of Philly
    @Ayesha81, thank your co-worker for inviting you to attend her church and then tell her that you prefer your own. She cannot argue with your preferences and you will not feel like you let her down.
     
    Laela, momi and shortycocoa like this.
  22. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2006
    Messages:
    8,124
    Media:
    2
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    25,360
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Somewhere out there
    Her behavior borders on cult recruitment.

    Just tell her to beat it because you already have a church home. :lachen:
     
    naijamerican, Kurlee and shortycocoa like this.
  23. shortycocoa

    shortycocoa Hair Weave Killer

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2008
    Messages:
    3,618
    Likes Received:
    10,880
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    hiding from the LHCFBI...
    May I ask, how is this different from regular meditation?

    I'm sorry you're being harassed. It sounds like you should have followed suit. I agree with the others; tell her no again and be firm with her. Ask that she stop inviting you to go. Then report her to HR. Make sure you have documented all the times she asked and continued asking after you said no. She shouldn't even be asking you that at work. Work is for work.

    I wanted to suggest that you tell her you're an Atheist, but I have the feeling that she would be even more aggressive with her invites after that.

    ETA: I hope I haven't offended you or anyone else with this statement.

    I agree with all of this, also. Sounds like it might be a cult. Be careful, OP! What was the name of the church? Sometimes the name of it is a dead giveaway that it's a cult and not a church. Other markings are there, but this is a big one.
     
    Shimmie likes this.
  24. Kurlee

    Kurlee Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    May 22, 2003
    Messages:
    29,848
    Likes Received:
    78,048
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Hoping for WL
    which denomination? :look:
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2018
    Shimmie likes this.
  25. Laela

    Laela Between point A and point B

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2002
    Messages:
    17,001
    Likes Received:
    31,164
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I don't see the "cult-like" behavior from the little info we're getting here.... it's more like behavior from someone who is in the dark or being strung along. I believe a lot of the problem is miscommunication or not being clear/truthful with her.


     
  26. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2006
    Messages:
    8,124
    Media:
    2
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    25,360
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Somewhere out there
    I agree that OP could definitely be more definitive with her response- but eight different points of contact for one invite? I definitely consider that excessive.
     
    naijamerican likes this.
  27. janiebaby

    janiebaby Well-Known Member

    Blog Posts:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2006
    Messages:
    14,513
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    33,889
    Trophy Points:
    113
    @Ayesha81 any updates? Or are you just waiting for it to come up again?
     

Share This Page