Please Help!! struggling, trying to make all "hair" ends meet....

[paradise224]

Well,, first of all, I'd like to officially introduce myself to all of you wonderful ladies..I've been a member for a few months now, and i've posted a few times, but i've never really had the courage to post- UNTIL NOW...

ALL of your great advice has given me inspiration, I've learned that my hair needs a great deal of TLC, and the results have been amazing.. texture (natural, 3c which has really started to show because of all the things i've learned), sheen (getting many compliments!), and overall length (about 3.5 inches). However, i'm reaching out because there is one area that i haven't been able to "self help"--> THE BACK

I guess for a while before i found this site, I paid more attention to what i could see, the front of my hair, and didn't really notice that because of dyes and dryness it was breaking off pretty badly. My hair dresser, trimmed the ends in order to stop the breakage, but the back was already shorter than the front to begin with.. so no matter how much it grows, the front grows more.. and while my hair feels so healthy, a fact that i am so proud of- i feel like a failure, because there is, in my eyes, a HUGE GAP..

the front and sides of my hair have almost reached my armpit length goal.. but the back is just a couple inches past my shoulder (seems like a 2-3 inch difference) .. Currently, i do co-washes, every other day, take a host of vitamins, use leave-ins, moisturize the ends with cantu shea butter, put mtg only on the back area of my head, drink about 2 liters of water a day, and get my hair pressed about every 3 weeks.

I thought about cutting my hair, to even things up, but i can't stand the thought of losing what i've worked so hard to achieve..Have any of you had this problem? if so, what has helped you? I've read about some people putting tiny braids in the back, but i'm afraid i don't really understand how to do it, or how it works. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated, Thanks in advance for all your help ladies, and for taking the time to read this post.

 

[aileendq]

Welcome!

I have the reverse problem- my front and sides never seem to get much past shoulder length and the back is about 1 1/2 away from armpit length.

The trick is to figure out what is causing the breakage. Have a friend examine the ends of your hair (in the back) carefully. What to you do with your hair back there at night? How do you wear it during the day?

And if it's not breakage then you need to analyze it differently.

Anyway, post some more info. about your routine etc. the ladies here at LHCF are fantastic and SO full of knowledge.

Aileen

 

[Lorraine S]

Hi Paradise,
Welcome to the board

I had almost the same problem for quite sometime. The left side of the back of my hair would always grow so slow and break. All my other sides were longer and thicker. I found out that constantly wrapping my hair on the same side over and over was doing it for me. I also discovered that I needed a Hardcore Protein Treatment. Also hair does grow in different stages...What you can do is really examine if your doing anything different with the back then from the front, like maybe combing too rough, styles, etc. You should do daily massages in the back to stimulate growth. Protein, Protein, followed by a moisturizing conditioner, and just keep those ends in protected. There are cute styles you can do with the front out and the back up. HTH Good Luck

Lorraine

Well,, first of all, I'd like to officially introduce myself to all of you wonderful ladies..I've been a member for a few months now, and i've posted a few times, but i've never really had the courage to post- UNTIL NOW...

ALL of your great advice has given me inspiration, I've learned that my hair needs a great deal of TLC, and the results have been amazing.. texture (natural, 3c which has really started to show because of all the things i've learned), sheen (getting many compliments!), and overall length (about 3.5 inches). However, i'm reaching out because there is one area that i haven't been able to "self help"--> THE BACK

I guess for a while before i found this site, I paid more attention to what i could see, the front of my hair, and didn't really notice that because of dyes and dryness it was breaking off pretty badly. My hair dresser, trimmed the ends in order to stop the breakage, but the back was already shorter than the front to begin with.. so no matter how much it grows, the front grows more.. and while my hair feels so healthy, a fact that i am so proud of- i feel like a failure, because there is, in my eyes, a HUGE GAP..

the front and sides of my hair have almost reached my armpit length goal.. but the back is just a couple inches past my shoulder (seems like a 2-3 inch difference) .. Currently, i do co-washes, every other day, take a host of vitamins, use leave-ins, moisturize the ends with cantu shea butter, put mtg only on the back area of my head, drink about 2 liters of water a day, and get my hair pressed about every 3 weeks.

I thought about cutting my hair, to even things up, but i can't stand the thought of losing what i've worked so hard to achieve..Have any of you had this problem? if so, what has helped you? I've read about some people putting tiny braids in the back, but i'm afraid i don't really understand how to do it, or how it works. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated, Thanks in advance for all your help ladies, and for taking the time to read this post.

 

[jaded_faerie]

Just wanted to say Welcome!!

 

[paradise224]

Welcome!

The trick is to figure out what is causing the breakage. Have a friend examine the ends of your hair (in the back) carefully. What to you do with your hair back there at night? How do you wear it during the day?

And if it's not breakage then you need to analyze it differently.

Aileen

I had my mom do this last night, and she was really amazed to see that there was no more breakage .. I'm glad it's healthy now, but i think the problem is just that the front is so much longer than the back, and now i want learn what i can do to help the back grow in, break free (seems like it is more prone to breakage than the front, i'm guessing because the front is easier to notice sooner). Maybe i need to focus more on protective styling?

This is what i usually do as my routine:
Hair Routine:

-Co-wash every other day (Suave Milk & Honey)
-Shampoo once a week (Nexxus)
-Deep Condition every other week (Silk Elements Hair Mayonnaise,
homemade coconut conditioner)
-Scalp massages every night (coconut oil, mtg mixture to masque the
horrible smell!)
-surge 2 x’s a day
-Use leave-ins (infusium 23/IC leave in mixture, and 911 Emergency hair
treatment) and style daily –either a pony tail (on the day of a co-wash,
or a bun on the 2nd day)
-moisturize ends 2 times a day (cantu shea butter, coconut oil)
-Night time (sleep with hair in a low ponytail, baggie method, covered in a
silk scarf, sleep on a satin pillow)
-Daily Vitamins (msm, flaxseed, b-complex, evening primrose, biotin,
one-a-day, silica, L-cysteine)

 

[paradise224]

I also discovered that I needed a Hardcore Protein Treatment. Also hair does grow in different stages...What you can do is really examine if your doing anything different with the back then from the front, like maybe combing too rough, styles, etc. You should do daily massages in the back to stimulate growth. Protein, Protein, followed by a moisturizing conditioner, and just keep those ends in protected. There are cute styles you can do with the front out and the back up. HTH Good Luck

Lorraine[/QUOTE]

Thanks this is so helpful!!! I just started doing the massages, about 2 days ago, it really feels good, i will definitely incorporate the protein.. btw, what are the best protein conditioners, .. i've done the homemade one, with 1 egg, cinnamon oil, and evoo, what do you use?

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

Hello, Just wanted to welcome you to the board and give a little .02 cents, lol, it seems as if your doing everything you can to give your hair the TLC it needs, but do you wear necklaces at all?, because sometimes, well alot of the time we may experience breakage from the old necklace the hair gets caught on and it seems to grow in that back area but never any length. Just thought I would throw that in, if that's not your problem then maybe protective styles will be best for awhile, HHG and HTH's

 

[Lorraine S]

Hi Paradise,

Glad I can be of some help. I currently use both Aphogee protein treatments.
1. Aphogee For Damage Hair (Heavy)
2. Aphogee Balance Moisturizer (Lite)

2 Great Protein conditioners I plan on buying soon is:
1. Nexxus Emergencee
2. Aubrey Organics

I know im becoming a product junkie...
Also you can do little dustings or trims here and there to even out the ends.

Lorraine

Thanks this is so helpful!!! I just started doing the massages, about 2 days ago, it really feels good, i will definitely incorporate the protein.. btw, what are the best protein conditioners, .. i've done the homemade one, with 1 egg, cinnamon oil, and evoo, what do you use?

 

[SweetCaramel1]

welcome i have the same problem! i never noticed it until i a beautician pointed it out to me. i got it trimmed cause i was going out one night and i straightened my hair, i noticed there were big gaps in the back. it looked pretty bad. when she trimmed it she didn't but off much at all! it's even again (for now) i'm just tryin' to treat my hair gentler and wear it up off my neck more often

 

[CinnaMocha]

Paradise,

I can totally relate to your situation. However, you should not have to cut too much (just even out those ends a little, everything will reach up to the same place in due time). There was a time I thought the back of my head area would never grow (I was even told by a stylist that b/c the back was in bad shape I would probably have to maintain a tapered look indefinitely). Thank God times have changed and I have learned so much. I cosign with some of the other members as it relates to using a protein conditioner to help your hair all around. HHG!

CM

 

[paradise224]

Sweet caramel- thanks, dusting is a good idea, maybe it’d be less noticeable, instead of evening it all out at once.


Lorraine, I’m becoming a product junkie as well, although I think its time for me to settle down and find some staples lol, other wise I’ll really be broke, but I’ll do that after I get the aphogee


Beautifulwideeyes- I’m not currently wearing a chain but I definitely know what you mean about hair getting caught in there... I’ll be sure to look out for that


Thanks again you guys

 

[paradise224]

Paradise,

(I was even told by a stylist that b/c the back was in bad shape I would probably have to maintain a tapered look indefinitely).

CM

Yea, a stylist told me that i should get a bob cut in the back and keep the front and sides long..

 

[CinnaMocha]

Yea, a stylist told me that i should get a bob cut in the back and keep the front and sides long..

If they truly are hair care professionals (doesn't apply to all), they would do what they could to help you gain and maintain your length. I am thankful that I do have someone that understands what I want (even if it is only to get a touch-up now since I love to do my hair at this stage).

CM

 

[gorgeoushair]

I have the exact same problem. My back is shorter than my sides and it's breaking in the middle. I really don't know what causes my hair to break in the middle.

 

[paradise224]

I have the exact same problem. My back is shorter than my sides and it's breaking in the middle. I really don't know what causes my hair to break in the middle.

I really wish i knew.. It seems like its so easy to get discouraged, because I really am trying..

 

[goldensensation]

I have the exact same problem. My back is shorter than my sides and it's breaking in the middle. I really don't know what causes my hair to break in the middle.

Just a few diagnostic questions:

Do you wear ponytails often?
What kind of ponytail holders do you use?
Do you pull your ponytails tight?
Do you use hair pins in the center of your head?
Do you often style your hair while soaking wet?
Is the middle of your hair a different texture than the rest?

 

[Samaria]

I have the same issue! my sides wont grow, but I am saying the reason thats happening is due to overprocessing, I am going to relax my own hair and keep the fronts in protective styling. IT seems like theres progress then when I go to the salon, I am like where did it go??

 

[paradise224]

Just a few diagnostic questions:

Do you wear ponytails often?
What kind of ponytail holders do you use?
Do you pull your ponytails tight?
Do you use hair pins in the center of your head?
Do you often style your hair while soaking wet?
Is the middle of your hair a different texture than the rest?

I’m going to answer these as well…

**Yes, I get my hair pressed every 3 weeks, a week and a half of which I where it down, and the other week+ curly à this is when I wear my hair in a ponytail

**The ones from the dollar store (ouchless ones)


**I take it around my pony 3 times, so I guess that’s kinda tight

**No, but somehow that’s the shortest length of my hair

**Yes

**It used to be, but now that I’ve started taking care of it, its feeling more like the rest, however .. it has always been a bit curlier.

 

[paradise224]

just bumping should in case any one else has some suggestions