Singlessness=Desperation?????

[LucieLoo12]

Ive been reading alot on the christian forum and I see alot of posts that read "i need man","im so lonley","when am i going to get married""im searching for a man"...etc and I just want to know, is there any Christian single woman that are content at being single? Is there anyone that is waiting PATIENTLY for "him" and not hasty for it. Anyone saying, if I dont ever get married God, I will be happy with just you God? Are there any "Ruths" out there? Ruth was a woman in the bible that loved God and was busy working in the field, not LOOKING for a husband, but HE noticed HER because of her working diligently.Now, I know yall might say, "Soooo, you dont ever wanna get married"? Yes I do,it is a desire , but I am not consumed with it to the point that its all I think or talk about. I am not going to settle either, just to get married. I'm God's best so why settle for something less? I'm about to be 25 and Ive been single for about 4 years and I'm learning that you can be content and God and be single..My family say "so you are 25...you got a boyfriend...no?.....why not, you too cute to be single".It's like society makes us feel like if you dont have a man, you are automatically unhappy. Well I dont have one and I'm fine with that. So just because I'm single, that means I'm loney....lol...i think not! What are yall thoughts on this??? (Married women can relpy to!)

I just wanted to add,by NO MEANS am i bashing marriage, the bible says its an honorable,and I am not bashing the desire for marriage, just when we feel we are incomplete without it...

Just wanted to share a few scriptures

Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

1 Corinthians 7:34
The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit

Psalm 37:4
Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I understand your sentiment but alot of ladies on this board are in different places in their lives. Some are alot older, have been in alot of failed relationships, some havent been in a relationship in years or at all...

Just like men feel incomplete without reaching a certain level of success in his life work, women feel incomplete without reaching certain levels in their relationships. No it's not an excuse to start running after men but the feeling doesn't go away. Waiting for God's best is always better than settling for less then you know you deserve.

Also keep in mind Ruth was married before. Alot of people overlook this fact. It's easier to chill when you know what marriage is all about already.

Don't be so quick to give the side eye to women that are waiting and complaining. It's nice that you've gotten to a place of contentment but not everyone arrives at the same rate. But I agree, being content is far better than moaning about not having a man.

I think having fun meeting people and not being so consumed with "Is he the one?" really takes the pressure off and gives women a sense of confidence and contentment with life.

 

[LucieLoo12]

I never said nor did give the impression that I was giving the "side eye" thats why I stated that this wasnt about the desire to of being married, this is about someone being able to be fully content with just God.This is about people knowing that even if you are not in relationship, that doesnt mean "something is missing"..This post was meant to tear down those "false concepts" of what society has about single woman, that "oh whats wrong with you, you single".....mindset..thats all..and simply saying that God can be all that we need.I am not here to tear down anyone or their struggles but to give a different view about things, this is what a thread is for to share,not to badger..

 

[Love Always]

From what I've seen in the Christian Forum as well as Relationship Forum is just women expressing how they would like to have a loving marriage, I don't see it as them being depressed about it. There are some woe is me but for the most part I just think it's a normal feeling wanting to be loved and being loved in return.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Ok. I understand what you're trying to say. However, your OP came off a little intense with things like "Where are the Ruths", talking about post where women express "im so lonely, when will i get married", or and the thread title "singleness=desperation". A positive message to remain patient and content in waiting could easily be lost with comments as above.

I never said nor did give the impression that I was giving the "side eye" thats why I stated that this wasnt about the desire to of being married, this is about someone being able to be fully content with just God.This is about people knowing that even if you are not in relationship, that doesnt mean "something is missing"..This post was meant to tear down those "false concepts" of what society has about single woman, that "oh whats wrong with you, you single".....mindset..thats all..and simply saying that God can be all that we need.I am not here to tear down anyone or their struggles but to give a different view about things, this is what a thread is for to share,not to badger..

 

[Guitarhero]

Ive been reading alot on the christian forum and I see alot of posts that read "i need man","im so lonley","when am i going to get married""im searching for a man"...etc and I just want to know, is there any Christian single woman that are content at being single? Is there anyone that is waiting PATIENTLY for "him" and not hasty for it. Anyone saying, if I dont ever get married God, I will be happy with just you God? Are there any "Ruths" out there? Ruth was a woman in the bible that loved God and was busy working in the field, not LOOKING for a husband, but HE noticed HER because of her working diligently..

No, you are not the only "Ruth" out there. Perhaps G-d doesn't want everyone to find their husbands by ignoring their current single situation and you will never know why G-d might have prompted someone to 1)ask for specified prayer 2) sense the need to search and 3) desire a spouse.

G-d's command was to be fruitful and multiply so the need of the significant other is biological. Not everyone will desire to marry but most people do. I don't see lots of posts of what you imply are desperate people who are ignoring working diligently for G-d. I see the opposite - that is, there are women who are true to themselves and spill their hearts' desires, requesting prayer, volunteering, working their professions and plain living life daily despite being single. The implications in your post are rather inflammatory and mean-spirited, perhaps inadvertently so. However one works out his walk with the L-rd is not the walk for another and we should all be mindful of this.

 

[makeupgirl]

You know OP, I'm 30 years old and yes I'm not ashamed to say, I want to get married, I want to have compansionship, I want to come home to my husband, or I want to do the next phrase of my life. However, I want it but I also understand that it is in God's time. Then there are days that I'm still perfectly fine with still living with my mom and sister and just being me. But, I also believe in my heart that the season is coming, if it's not here already. I'm still being prepared, just as other sisters on this forum is being prepared. We as the women were created for the men, to be their helpmeet; so it's natural for any of us that is single to feel that urge or have that want for companionship. It would probably be abnormal to not feel what we feel.

Personally for me, I had to pray to the Lord to stop the carnal desires until my wedding night because that particular urge was just too strong. There are days when I am content with being single but there are days when I wish I was married. It's coming, but I'm not rushing it either. So, no I'm not Ruth. I"m just the girl that God wanted me to be for him and one day I will meet the man he has ordained for my life to be with.

But also, man's infirmities is God's opportunity. He can do what no other power can do. So, yes, you're right, let us all remember to keep our eyes upon Jesus as he lead and guide our footsteps and also as he guides our hearts.

 

[LucieLoo12]

I keep saying, I AM NOT BASHING THE DESIRE TO GET MARRIED.... I'm being mean sprited because I said you are able to be complete in God??I am talking about women who feel like of they dont get married, they will die...I stressing the point that God can fulfill those areas that seem empty..Ok, so obviously everyone is taking what I say the wrong way....and not understanding my point, so I will just leave this alone..


But then i guess it depends what "tone" you read this is as well...God Bless

 

[makeupgirl]

Ok, so obviously everyone is taking what I say the wrong way....and not understanding my point, so I will just leave this alone..

You don't have to leave this alone..Don't leave. I get what you're saying and it's nothing wrong with sharing and feeling what you're feeling. At 25, I was a mess and was very impatient because I wasn't married and everyone around me was. So, I commend you for being strong at 25. I went through a terrible quarterlife crisis and this was one of the reasons.

As I got older and as I started to grow more with my walk with the Lord, I've learned that marriage is something that I cannot rush and also if I don't want to have a marriage like my mom's or my aunt, other people in my life's, then I have to let him do his thing.

 

[LucieLoo12]

You don't have to leave this alone..Don't leave. I get what you're saying and it's nothing wrong with sharing and feeling what you're feeling. At 25, I was a mess and was very impatient because I wasn't married and everyone around me was. So, I commend you for being strong at 25. I went through a terrible quarterlife crisis and this was one of the reasons.

As I got older and as I started to grow more with my walk with the Lord, I've learned that marriage is something that I cannot rush and also if I don't want to have a marriage like my mom's or my aunt, other people in my life's, then I have to let him do his thing.

Thanks...I just dont like things to get out of control. I want this thread to be empowering to single women letting them you can be single and happy..

 

[Guitarhero]

Alicialynn86, it was the delivery and the tone. Please refer to older positive and mature posts that address the same issues:


A Serious Conversation for Christian Singles


Other Christian Singles not Trying to Get Married

Marriage Prayers for Singles - It is God's Will for You to be Married (Chinadoll's post is very uplifting and demonstrates "Ruth," #36)

Wrong to Be Permanently Single?

Plus, there are a host of other threads concerning how to live a good single life such as remaining celibate, volunteer work and even a thread (I couldn't fin it) for those who don't ever wish to marry. So, if you look a little harder, you'll find that the ladies in the CF are diversified, not desperate. Stick around, you sound passionate in your beliefs. All I ask is that you see us around here through different colored glasses.

 

[MSee]

I'm married but the other day I opened an old diary and read what I wrote in January 1999:

"Patience, I try to exercise patience. I want to find the special someone for me but he is not around yet. It is important that I wait on the Lord. In my present state of lonliness it is very easy for me to make a wrong choice. It is not easy to get out of such a situation, therefore I try my best not to get in it."

By the end of february that same year I got into a relationship with my now DH. I too had seen too many horrific marriages growing up, including my parent's. That actually worked as a sheild to keep me happily single for most of my youth but that same sheild almost made me miss my husband Seriously he kept asking me out for 5 months before I finally went out with him and even then it was because my sister prodded me.

I would advise ladies to indeed make God their priority and allow Him to prepare you if it is His will for you to get married. Never get desperate but be balanced and be expecting if you do want to get married. I was at a transition stage in my life and was feeling rather lonely and not fitting in. Few guys were pursuing me at that point, but God in His wisdom helped me to not rush into anything but wait till I had sort through my feelings. The only man I did go out with during that time was my husband to be (I didn't think he would be) because I felt 'safe' with him It could have been different if I had grasped at the attention to cure my loneliness. He would never had gotten on the list and as I look at the lives of some of the men who where pursuing me.... let's just say I would have been a mess by now had I rushed.

Ladies I hope my post is encouraging. I want to share this video too

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=KLGWWPNX

Be blessed

 

[Guitarhero]

^^^Good goggly moogly, there's such a thing as Godtube? Thank you, thank you!!!!!!!!!! And she's an amazing poetesse.