The Controversy of Using the term "Nappy Hair"

[cocoberry10]

Okay Ladies:

I was reluctant about starting this thread, but I decided to do it.

I've read on several posts various members stating how calling our hair "nappy" is negative and not good, etc.

I genuinely don't understand why (I'm not being sarcastic either). I can totally understand why using terms like "good hair" and "bad hair" are negative. I didn't realize people would get so up in arms about semantics, so someone please enlighten me.

I guess I don't think there's anything wrong with someone having nappy hair. I would say I'm nappy and proud or happy to be nappy I know people use terms like kinky, coarse, etc. So what's so bad about "nappy?"

 

[Kay.Dee]

I think there is a difference between using the term IRL and on boards. So far whenever the term nappy has been directed at me IRL, it wasn't meant to be nice.

On hairboards I think it's fine, but in real life...don't try me.

 

[MissNina]

It's kind of like the word ni**a...the other N word. Some find it offensive b/c of its history and some don't. It can be used by black ppl as a term of endearment as well, of course but. . .it just depends greatly on usage. When ppl use it in a very negative way, "Oh my hair is so nappy I can't stand it", it is cosigning a lot of stereotypes that "other" ppl have about black hair. Since you can see why good hair and bad hair are positive/negative terms, society equates bad hair to nappy hair. So it can also be highly negative. Most of the time (not all) especially IRL, when I hear black women describe their hair in the term it's not in a favorable way. It's highly negative. When I hear nappy I think something negative off rip. Nappy does not = natural to me.

ETA: There are some really good books/articles about this too

 

[SEMO]

I personally don't like the word nappy. To me, nappy = hair that's a pain and hard to deal with. I don't feel like natural hair is like that, when you know how to handle it. Relaxed hair can at times be a pain and hard to deal with, but there's no similar derogatory term for that.

 

[Neith]

I NEVER knew that nappy was a bad word until reading it here recently. Even if people called my hair nappy, I always felt that it was a synonym of kinky... just a descriptive word.

Now that I know, I don't use it much.

 

[sound]

Only one person has come up to me and told me my hair was nappy, and that was my co worker. He's an ahole so I took that as an insult but I never got that upset over it because I really don't take him seriously. Another male co worker said my hair wasn't nappy enough because It curls at the ends, unlike my 4b natural co worker as her's doesn't clump in any kind of curl pattern like mines.

Back in my teenage days I would have gotten really angry. As nappy seems to be associated with untamed, comb breaking, brittle hair to folks on the street. Come to think of it, if someone walks up to me and says "DAMN your hair is nappy" I WOULD be upset, because it's an obvious insult.
I'll let you guys know if that happens. lol.

 

[SparklingFlame]

In the real world nappy is used in a negative way, as in your hair is unruly, unmanageable, ugly, ect ect ect.

When people us it around me, especially when I was natural I would give them that look and suffice it to say, it wasnt used in my presence anymore.

 

[mj11051]

I don't ;et the word bother me. I tell ppl this calling my hair "nappy" is a compliment.

 

[JustKiya]

I don't let the word bother me. I tell ppl this calling my hair "nappy" is a compliment.

Exactly. I knew that people used the word insultingly, but I never thought of the word, itself, as an insult, if that makes sense. *shrug*

 

[*closer*2*my*dreams*]

Funny you should mention this because I sometimes frequent "yahoo answers" and yesterday an "ignoarnt" (for lack of a better word) girl asked "why do black people have nappy hair" and then the question was followed by "not racist though". and then about 3 other people before me had answered. one just repeated the word "nappy" and had a frown and a question mark. another said because of the ethnicity and someone said something about our hair not having enough oil to make it shiny and straight like white people. I immediately dropped my knowledge on them, told the girl she was ignorant, then reported it to yahoo answers. it had me fuming; they immediately deleted the question from the website.

In short, i think nappy is derogatory no matter who says it or in what context it is used. Even if the girl asking was black, i would have felt the same way.

 

[~*Tigget*~]

ITA

I use this term very loosely aroun my house with my kids. In some ppls opinion its derogatory & in some its not. It is a relative term case by case. I can see another person of a different race & say their hair is NAPPY if it is untamed, ratty, & damaged. The term nappy can b used by & for anyone....IMO

As for good & bad I grew up hearing that in MY black community. We put these tags on eachother to downgrade oneanother for whatever reason. Even the term NAPPY was used w/in the blk community to insult or make jokes abt eachother.

Nothing wrong with turning a negative into a positive. We have the capability to change the affect of the word when used. Just like NI**A...nah I can't get around that term, however I don't agree with the anger it brings when someone of the opposite race uses it for the simple fact some black folks say it all day long. I don't use it but I dnt go into rage when I hear it! Because it is still used among black folks as "endearment". Not using it is one way to diffuse it...can't really turn it into a positive.

I don't ;et the word bother me. I tell ppl this calling my hair "nappy" is a compliment.

 

[fivetimestwo]

I think there is a difference between using the term IRL and on boards. So far whenever the term nappy has been directed at me IRL, it wasn't meant to be nice.

On hairboards I think it's fine, but in real life...don't try me.

ITA...

IRL I've never heard the term used in a way that was not meant to be derogatory. On the boards it's something to be proud of.

 

[cocoberry10]

I NEVER knew that nappy was a bad word until reading it here recently. Even if people called my hair nappy, I always felt that it was a synonym of kinky... just a descriptive word.

Now that I know, I don't use it much.

That's how I saw it too

I know terms like good hair and bad hair aren't meant to be nice

 

[Filmatic]

I personally don't like the word nappy or coarse. Where I'm from nappy was always used to put someone down, break their self esteem, etc. It was like saying your hair isn't good enough, straight enough, etc. And I don't like coarse because it does not accurately describe black hair. A brillo pad is coarse, my hair is curly. When it's touched, it's not going to cut anybody.

 

[LadyEuphoria007]

I agree that it depends on the context used.

For me...I don't like when folks talk about my hair at all, no matter if they say kinky, nappy, coily, coarse whateva. I feel like my hair should not be a topic of anyones convo to the extent that they need to try and use various terms to describe it. I guess I'm just weird like that but I'd much rather for folks to just not say anything than to try and be "PC" an use less offensive terms.

 

[Latomian]

I always thought that nappy meant unruly, unkempt, etc so I don't really equate natural hair with nappy. Before, black women weren't versed on how to take care of their hair and some may have even accepted it as being "nappy" because it was just needing moisture and TLC. I mean, look at all the naturals on here and their beautiful curls and waves. Definitely doesn't look "nappy" to me!

 

[Bigghair]

I am not offended by the term nappy. My hair IS nappy which means tightly curled/kinky. Some people may try to use the term nappy to insult, but if I define nappy as something good, I don't allow the supposed insult to bother me. It's similar to people saying, um she is soooo black. Well, yeah, I AM black! They might mean it as some sort of insult but, whatever. If I love my hair, what you call it ceases to matter.

 

[Kirei]

I really don't care if someone calls my hair nappy as an insult or not. :shrugs:

When I was little that is what you called someone's hair that needed combing and taming, I never heard anyone call someone's hair nappy that was neat and in pony tails or whatever, just those whose hair looked like it was put through the wringer.

I have also never heard a white person use the term. I am sure some people use it to make fun of someone or tear someone down but, that doesn't mean you need to get rid of the word or stop using it. It means you need to work on teaching that child or person some character education and that they need to work on obtaining a positive character instead of being a bully and being disrespectful. Taking a word out of your vocabulary isn't going to change that.

Someone is this post also said they don't use the word coarse, not to make fun of her or anything, but, if we take away all the words that can be used in a negative way, out of our vocabulary then we wouldn't have very many words to say.

I would love if people made this much of an uproar over curse words and other terms, statements that are offensive instead of word used to describe hair. Someone won't say "nappy" but will say "b!tch"? Makes no sense to me.

 

[missnappylady]

Even though it's my screenname, I wouldn't want to be "called" a nappy head. It's usually intended as an insult when certain people use it.