I don't Want Nappy Hair

[JustKiya]

I say with a smirk on my face that nappy hair isn't for everyone. That person is usually thrown off or gets nervous and doesn't say anything else. I don't mind being called nappy headed even when folks who say it say it as a put down. That is there problems. Once they see they can't knock me over they move on.

Oh yeah, I've used that one SEVERAL times - and it's the truth (the smirk just makes it better). You have to be patient, a lil independant, bold, brave, and mature in order to rock nappy hair and be happy with it - and willing to deal with the cut-eye looks from folx, and the rude comments.

 

[patient1]

Yes, I know I have.

It doesn't bother me, but it's the way some of the responses come off.
One girl had gotten her natural hair flatironed. She said she liked it but couldn't do it all the time. I told her to do it whenever bcuz it was better than getting the chemicals in it. She scrunched her nose at me & said something to the effect of the flat iron still changing the texture of the hair- it wouldn't be natural.

***Hell, don't scrunch yo nose @ me- I just made a suggestion!**

Heck, I wish I had the courage to go natural again. I ain't as patient as I used to be (I did it about 10 years ago).

I say, Wear yo hair any which way you want to- IT'S YOURS!!!!

Thanks for sharing that. It'll be nice when folks don't project their hair politics onto one another.

p1

 

[CreoleBelle]

I haven't read the whole thread but I did make a thread awhile back on the word nappy as a derogatory term in most rl situations (outside of hair boards) and this is why i personally try not use the word. I actually have had people give me unsolicited confessions for the reasons for why they personally won't go natural (and I'm thinking to myself 'why do you assume i care?') and fortunately no one has been outright as that. I think it's a particularly sad thing for someone black to say (even if you don't want a fro, your hair type remains the same even with a chemical process). But what can I say, to the women who feel that way, I ignore it. And to the men, well, let's just say, any man I'd care to be around would be a little more conscious then to say something like that. The only person I give the nappy speech to is my mom and that's only because I love her and the relaxers are really killing her hair. You pick your battles.

How long have you been natural? Your hair is beautiful!

 

[Millahdoowop]

My smart *** would say something like "Awww you're so sweet. Thank you!" That and a big grin will shut them up. If they don't like it, it's not my damn problem. But then again I have always been the person to do ish that others don't just cuz. So the whole natural thing doesn't faze/phase (sp?) me.

 

[Poohbear]

I think when people outside of the hairboard world use the word nappy they aren't refering to kinky/coily hair, I think they are referring to hair that is uncombed and dry looking. I hear people call relaxed heads 'nappy' all the time. I def. don't think it's refering to the hair type, moreso the look of the hair.

I agree. That's how I saw the word "nappy" when I was relaxed and before discovering the hair boards. Not many people are aware of the different natural hair types like straight, wavy, curly, and kinky. They see it, but they don't think in those terms.

 

[Minx]

quote=Poohbear]I agree. That's how I saw the word "nappy" when I was relaxed and before discovering the hair boards. Not many people are aware of the different natural hair types like straight, wavy, curly, and kinky. They see it, but they don't think in those terms.[/quote]

Right, that's what I think, too.

When I first cut my relaxed ends, and I wore my twa around my mother, the first thing she said upon inspection of my hair was:
" Oh, it isn't bad at all". I was like
Where would she get "bad" from?

Then at Thanksgiving, my sister who hadn't seen me since my BC, immediately put her hands in my fro.
She was like, " Oh, okay, its not hard, it's soft."
I was like, "Why would you think it would be hard?"
My cousin goes, " Cause it looks like it would be hard."

I'm thinking to myself, is that because it's not slick and shiny?
But I didn't say it outloud; I just sighed and shook my head.

I am the only natural in my family and we are a large family full of women.
My hair is tightly coiled, tiny coils at that. It's not loose at all.
But it's fly and I love it!

dk

 

[StrawberryQueen]

It bothers me, b/c I'm like "what's wrong with nappy hair?" It grew out of your head like that so obviously someome though it would be fitting on you.

 

[patient1]

It bothers me, b/c I'm like "what's wrong with nappy hair?" It grew out of your head like that so obviously someome though it would be fitting on you.

About 10 years ago, I was at a bookstore ringing up this older sister and, since I was natural, she got to talking about her granddaughter's hair and she said, "God doesn't make ANY mistakes!" And it was just this moment for me. I had been natural for years but it was always political. I think in that moment it also became spiritual. Kind of an acceptance of how the Creator individually crafted ME.

It will be a great day when I look around and our hair is a sea of variety not because we're trying to fix anything, but just because we're choosing tochange an original that we love and appreciate. I think that day is coming and being accelerated by women with different hair journeys interacting and learning from each other. Soon we won't dare make a little girl feel as if a part of herself needs to be corrected.

p1

 

[glamazon386]

statements. Should I be offended by those statements? I have noticed folks telling me in reference to their hair that they don't want nappy hair. I complemented this sista the other day because she got a hair cut. She proceeded to tell me she wanted to cut it shorter but her stylist talked her out of it. She said short hair requires a lot of maintence. Her stylist didn't want her walking around with no nappy hair. I just smiled thinkign to myself that I have nappy hair. My neighbor husband told her to wear a wig because he don't want her walking around with a nappy head. I am proud to be nappy but I see so many folks using it in a negative contatation (sp).

While the word nappy doesn't bother me, we have to remember the history of the word. Historically it has a negative connotation. Much like the N word. People have tried to flip the N word around make in endearing, take the er off and end it with an a, etc. Whatever. It is what it is. And there are some people who are never going to let go of the historical definition. Same thing with nappy. However, I do feel like people do use nappy to describe their hair when it's unmanageable. Like when they're due for a relaxer or need their hair done or something. Not just natural hair in general.

 

[gloomgeisha]

Same thing with nappy. However, I do feel like people do use nappy to describe their hair when it's unmanageable. Like when they're due for a relaxer or need their hair done or something. Not just natural hair in general.

I've noticed this too. I had a friend who was about a 2b/3a lament to me on the "nappiness" of her hair and how she needed a relaxer. She said it with so much disgust that you'd think someone hawked a loogy on her scalp.

The funny thing is that she would always be saying how pretty my hair is. Well then what is the difference between my hair and the supposed "naps" you have coming out of your head?

Oh that's right...I can actually take care of what I have, thus reducing the risk of it looking a hot mess.

 

[melodee]

I am proud to be black and nappy. I also fawn over beautiful hair regardless of it being relaxed, texturized or natural. I just think folks don't really think about what they are saying. I liken it to someone let's say a white person saying let me get out of the sun before I turn as black as a ******.

You so right! And CG, although you are open minded about hair and beauty, many are not. And they make stupid remarks. Brush your shoulders off, girl.