Tired of lurking/need some advice

[abby83]

Hi Ladies:

let me just say that even though I haven't 100 % set up my own hair regime, I've been so inspired by this forum and have been taking much better care of my hair.

I grew up in an East African family where my Mom wore her hair natural and short and used Dax religiously. She never really believed that our hair would grow past shoulder length, even though my sisters and my hair would occasionally flirt with the shoulder level but usually did not remain there very long due to bad hair care tips. As a result I was convinced for a long time my hair wouldn't grow! I mean i was totally clueless about my own hair and have just begun educating myself.

In the past I'd wear braids which would get my hair to around shoulder length and then I'd relax, only to have the hair fall out (because I wasn't taking care of it.) I've now been wearing full weaves for a while, after a short stint with lace fronts (that ripped out some of my hairline!) I've been following the moisturizing tips and some other tips and my hair has made some progress and I want to take the plunge and stop wearing full weaves and wear my own hair with perhaps some extensions for fullness and length. The thing is i'm not even sure of how long my hair would be and I'm not even sure of what I could to do to wear it straight and or texturized? My hair is too soft to make a decent afro shape, so wearingin it's natural state as in these pictures might be a bit too difficult for me. I think I'm a bit afraid of relaxers. Are there some people for whom relaxers just makes their hair fall out, despite care being taken? (granted I didn't take care before).

I've included some photos of my natural hair 5 weeks ago (before my current full weave). Thanks for any advice, and thanks again for this website!

A truly grateful african sister,

Abby

 

[msa]

Welcome!

I think with a great moisturizing regimen you could definitely wear your hair in its natural state. In fact, people with your hair type usually find that certain styles (like twistouts and braidouts) last much longer on their hair because it's able to hold the shape better.

I think an easy regimen to follow would be to wash and DC once a week, moisturize your hair daily, and continue to wear protective styles while your hair's health improves.

Now, if what you want is to wear your hair straight (and not in natural styles) then you'll have to get your hair healthy first and then decide whether you want to use heat or chemicals. It sounds like the chemicals just don't agree with you though.

What's your regimen right now?

 

[abby83]

MSA:
thanks for the quick response. I'm not sure what hair type I have- 4B? My hair is very wooly and soft and shrinks super easily.

Right now I have a full weave with a lace closure and I try to moisturize daily with Giovanni leave in conditioner. I wrap it up at night (most of the time). I wash and condition 1-2 times a week. And deep condition under a hard hat dryer about once or twice a month. I have been working out 5 times a week, so there's been a lot of sweating. Ive been trying to take more vitamins- but am very bad with this. I'd like to switch to my own hair so that it is easier to wash the scalp. I think chemicals and I don't mix, so i'd probably go more towards the heat option. How will I know if my hair is healthy enough for heat?

thanks!

A

 

[zenith]

Hi Ladies:

let me just say that even though I haven't 100 % set up my own hair regime, I've been so inspired by this forum and have been taking much better care of my hair.

I grew up in an East African family where my Mom wore her hair natural and short and used Dax religiously. She never really believed that our hair would grow past shoulder length, even though my sisters and my hair would occasionally flirt with the shoulder level but usually did not remain there very long due to bad hair care tips. As a result I was convinced for a long time my hair wouldn't grow! I mean i was totally clueless about my own hair and have just begun educating myself.

In the past I'd wear braids which would get my hair to around shoulder length and then I'd relax, only to have the hair fall out (because I wasn't taking care of it.) I've now been wearing full weaves for a while, after a short stint with lace fronts (that ripped out some of my hairline!) I've been following the moisturizing tips and some other tips and my hair has made some progress and I want to take the plunge and stop wearing full weaves and wear my own hair with perhaps some extensions for fullness and length. The thing is i'm not even sure of how long my hair would be and I'm not even sure of what I could to do to wear it straight and or texturized? My hair is too soft to make a decent afro shape, so wearingin it's natural state as in these pictures might be a bit too difficult for me. I think I'm a bit afraid of relaxers. Are there some people for whom relaxers just makes their hair fall out, despite care being taken? (granted I didn't take care before).

I've included some photos of my natural hair 5 weeks ago (before my current full weave). Thanks for any advice, and thanks again for this website!

A truly grateful african sister,

Abby

so did my mom. and she is from E.A as well.

yes when i moved here, my hair just fell off. i thought it was from change in climate. i regrew it natural (3years) and then relaxed it again... fell off yet again, . so now i'm staying natural.

 

[quasimodi]

Welcome!

Just a few questions:

What kind of shampoo do you use?

What kind of deep conditioner do you use?

Do you cowash?

Do you use anything on your scalp? (oil/growth aid, etc.)

Do you use a leave-in when you wash your hair?

Oh, and is your hair completely natural or do you still have relaxed hair attached?

 

[abby83]

Zenith:

it must be an East African thing! Quasimodi. I use a VO5 moisturizing shampoo and then I use giovanni smooth as silk deep conditioner as a conditioner. I don't have a "cowashing" regimen, but want to begin this. For deep conditioning (I slack at this big time) I have used cholesteral or a biotin conditioner. My hair is 100 % natural, there hasn't been any relaxer in it in years. Im willing to take any advice on better products/regimens! I'm here to learn

A

 

[BrownEyez22]

Msa has given you some really helpful advice. I just wanted to add, when looking for moisturizers try shea butter type products. My hair looks kinda like yours when it is dry and it responds really well to shea type moisturizers.

Welcome to the forum as well!

 

[BrownEyez22]

Zenith:

it must be an East African thing! Quasimodi. I use a VO5 moisturizing shampoo and then I use giovanni smooth as silk deep conditioner as a conditioner. I don't have a "cowashing" regimen, but want to begin this. For deep conditioning (I slack at this big time) I have used cholesteral or a biotin conditioner. My hair is 100 % natural, there hasn't been any relaxer in it in years. Im willing to take any advice on better products/regimens! I'm here to learn

A

I think you should add a good moisturizing conditoner too like Aubreys (sp?)Organics.

 

[abby83]

Thanks Brown Eyes. What kind of shea butter moisturizer do you use? I'm going to start looking this up

A

 

[skegeesmb]

Yes my cousin has hair similar to yours OP (original poster). She just can't wear relaxers even a mild, her hair just starts to fall out after a while. So she just wears it natural. If you want to straighten your hair you might want to do a blowdry and a press with a pressing comb, or with a good flat iron. My cousin can wear a press and curl well without problems. But she can't use a lot of heat.

 

[abby83]

NM browneyez I went your fotki

A

 

[quasimodi]

Zenith:

it must be an East African thing! Quasimodi. I use a VO5 moisturizing shampoo and then I use giovanni smooth as silk deep conditioner as a conditioner. I don't have a "cowashing" regimen, but want to begin this. For deep conditioning (I slack at this big time) I have used cholesteral or a biotin conditioner. My hair is 100 % natural, there hasn't been any relaxer in it in years. Im willing to take any advice on better products/regimens! I'm here to learn

A

Hmmmm. Okay. Let me tell you what I currently do. I'm a 4a natural. It's unbelievable to me that I'm APL when stretched considering how much shrinkage I get.

I like to cowash once or twice a week. I jump in the shower, wet my hair and part it in about six sections, securing them with clips. Then I take a cheapie conditioner, usually V05 Passion Fruit Smoothie and rub about half a handful of conditioner into a section of hair, detangling with my fingers as I go. Sometimes I'll follow up my finger detangling with a widetoothed comb detangling, but sometimes I won't.

I take a small amount of conditioner and massage my scalp with it. Then I twist that section loosely and move on to the next section of hair until my entire head is done. If all, I'm doing is cowashing, I'll rinse my hair, but I'll leave some of the conditioner in it. I won't rinse it all out. I find my hair stays softer this way. Aterwards, I'll moisturize, seal with Jamaican black castor oil/vatika oil. Then I'll apply Boundless Tresses-the growth aid that I use.

Sometimes I follow my cowash with a deep conditioner. I'll rinse my hair of all the V05, then I'll apply the deep conditioner (my current favorite is Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose mixed with extra virgin olive oil and honey) to each section of hair and retwist as I go. Then I'll either sit under the heating cap for an hour or two or under my soft bonnet dryer.

Sometimes, I'll do the reverse. I'll deep condition on dry hair. Then cowash, moisturize, seal and apply growth aids.

Do you have any specific concerns with your hair besides just wanting to grow it out?

 

[BrownEyez22]

Thanks Brown Eyes. What kind of shea butter moisturizer do you use? I'm going to start looking this up

A

Well, I'm a bit of a product junkie sooo, as of late I am really liking Africa's Best Shea Moisturizer and I don't think its listed up there. It is creamy/watery enough to melt through tangles, I always seal with a little bit of castor oil. I think it keeps the knots away because its so heavy and sticky.

 

[abby83]

Quasimodi: No I pretty much just want to maximize growth. It has been slowly but steadily growing since I began changing my habits last year. Im going to take your advice on some moisturizers because my scalp has been quite dry lately. It might just be the (oddly) non humid weather we've had in DC. Thanks so much. I'm looking forward to experimenting.

 

[Platinum]

 

[Toy]

Welcome to the board!!!

 

[quasimodi]

Quasimodi: No I pretty much just want to maximize growth. It has been slowly but steadily growing since I began changing my habits last year. Im going to take your advice on some moisturizers because my scalp has been quite dry lately. It might just be the (oddly) non humid weather we've had in DC. Thanks so much. I'm looking forward to experimenting.

Cool.

Some good moisturizers are:
Shea Moisture Shea Butter Leave-In Conditioner
Qhemet Biologics Burdock Root Butter Cream
Qhemet Biologics Amla and Olive Cream
Oyin's Honey Hemp Conditioner



I've heard good things about Karen's Body Beautiful Hair Milks and Hair Nectars as well.

 

[aa9746]

I have fine strands too and my hair thickened up when I grew out my relaxer. And, it grew past my shoulder when I stopped pressing my natural hair. Have you tried Aphogee products to strengthen your hair? The suggestions above about deep conditoning and moisture is very important (Aubrey Organics White Camellia Shampoo & Conditioner is what I use).

 

[abby83]

No I haven't tried aphogee! Thanks for the suggestion. I've noticed that my hair is getting thicker, but I certainly would like it to get thicker. I think I'm going to spend the rest of the year concentrating on health as well as length and then next year see what I can do in terms of straightening.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

MSA:
thanks for the quick response. I'm not sure what hair type I have- 4B? My hair is very wooly and soft and shrinks super easily.

Right now I have a full weave with a lace closure and I try to moisturize daily with Giovanni leave in conditioner. I wrap it up at night (most of the time). I wash and condition 1-2 times a week. And deep condition under a hard hat dryer about once or twice a month. I have been working out 5 times a week, so there's been a lot of sweating. Ive been trying to take more vitamins- but am very bad with this. I'd like to switch to my own hair so that it is easier to wash the scalp. I think chemicals and I don't mix, so i'd probably go more towards the heat option. How will I know if my hair is healthy enough for heat?

thanks!

A

There's your problem: you need to reverse these. Don't shampoo two times a week, unless you're doing it with a natural shampoo bar. I like Shikakai bar, L'oreal Everpure or Hamadi's shampoos (this is the best for the price). You have to deep conditioner REGULARLY (at least 2x per week) and co-wash. I have the same texture as you and I can get my afro to work for me. My fave treatments are M.O.P. Extreme Moisture mixed with M.O.P. Extreme Protein; Pantene Relaxed and Natural Mask and Lustrasilk Olive Oil Cholesterol. I add ayurveda "brews" to my deep conditioning treatments. My fave moisturizers for getting texture and moisture are Qhemet Biologics (any one of their moisturizers work), Africa's Best Kids Organics Shea Butter Detangling lotion and Elasta QP Mango Butter (this one gives you the piecey look).

 

[Skiggle]

I agree with
the other advice given to you.
Maybe it is time for you to switch up
your regimen and start experimenting
with different types of moisturizers/deep conditioners..
these links might be helpful for you.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=368497
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=380830

 

[hurricane]

Try some hair oils like

1. Coconut
2. Jojoba
3. EVOO
4. Almond

I prefer coconut. Not to heavy and very nurishing to your scalp and hair.

Hair Butters:

1. Shea butter
2. Avocodo
3. Mango

And if you are wearing a weave and your hair is braided, spray your roots with S-Curl. I did this once when wearing braids and wearing a hair weave. My hair was not dry at all. If anything it was a greasy mess but I thought that would be better than a dry mess.

 

[aa9746]

Try some hair oils like

1. Coconut
2. Jojoba
3. EVOO
4. Almond

I prefer coconut. Not to heavy and very nurishing to your scalp and hair.

Hair Butters:

1. Shea butter
2. Avocodo
3. Mango

And if you are wearing a weave and your hair is braided, spray your roots with S-Curl. I did this once when wearing braids and wearing a hair weave. My hair was not dry at all. If anything it was a greasy mess but I thought that would be better than a dry mess.

Good suggestions, especially the coconut oil.

 

[Desarae]

Ditch that VO5 shampoo. It's very drying.

 

[Finally Free]

Hi & Welcome to the board.

 

[abby83]

thanks ladies! I do use coconut oil especially on the hairline, but I think i like sprays better for getting down in to the tracks since I have a full weave right now. I will def. try some of the tips mentioned here. let the experimentation begin!