Toxic Friend ..hiding behind the Lord

[Chrissy811]

I have this friend who calls herself trying to help people but she always is saying cruel and hurtful things to people. When she is confronted with it she always says, " I was just talking in christian love and saying what God would want me to say". After I lost my baby she said some really cruel things to me basically telling me days afterwards to "just forget about it, it was Gods will for your baby to die." And when I told her how insensitive she was being she was all upset and saying I took what she said wrong. How else was I was supposed to take it?

Anyway I have not really talked to her but she keeps e-mailing me. I am torn between trying to forgive (I will never forget the things she said to me) and just severing ties. What do you all think?

 

[JenJen2721]

I have this friend who calls herself trying to help people but she always is saying cruel and hurtful things to people. When she is confronted with it she always says, " I was just talking in christian love and saying what God would want me to say". After I lost my baby she said some really cruel things to me basically telling me days afterwards to "just forget about it, it was Gods will for your baby to die." And when I told her how insensitive she was being she was all upset and saying I took what she said wrong. How else was I was supposed to take it?

Anyway I have not really talked to her but she keeps e-mailing me. I am torn between trying to forgive (I will never forget the things she said to me) and just severing ties. What do you all think?

Mrsjones, I'm sorry for the loss of your baby....

Tell your friend that God would not want her saying mean and hurtful things to people, God would want her to show compassion...

Colossians 3
12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Tell her that her words are hurtful to you and not at all compassionate. Let her know that you love her and although you've forgiven her (you have to first forgive) for hurting you, if she continues to say mean things that you may have to distance yourself from her for a while.

 

[Honeyhips]

Not everyone who calls themselves a christian has learned to hear God and operate like one.

I'm sorry for the loss of your baby.

 

[victorious]

There's no way she can be an ambassador for Christ with an attitude like that. Being a Christian involves an adoption of Christ's character. God is our Comforter; so as a Christian, she should have spoken words of comfort.

I know it's hard to do, but please forgive her. You should probably keep some distance though. This gives you time for healing. It also gives her time for repenting and reconnecting with God. She seems to have some unresolved issues that have made her bitter and cruel. In the meantime, stay close to those who are praying for you and helping you.

mrsjones, I'm sorry for your loss. God will strengthen you day by day.

 

[stcsweet]

...as a Christian, she should have spoken words of comfort.

I know it's hard to do, but please forgive her. You should probably keep some distance though. This gives you time for healing. It also gives her time for repenting and reconnecting with God. She seems to have some unresolved issues that have made her bitter and cruel. In the meantime, stay close to those who are praying for you and helping you.

I'm sorry about your loss. May God continue to comfort you.

Victorious gave some wonderful advice.