Vent: I'm slightly jealous!

[Aidenberry03]

I am with you famu diva...I was just thinking this morning "I am going to get a massive cut, and start all over again."

I have been here a while, and I was looking at my state id from last year and saying...boy if I would have stayed away from the siscors I could be apl or longer now. Damn me

 

[MissCapricornCutie]

I don't think I've ever been jealous, I can admire good looking hair regardless of the length. I think it's just reality that not everyone is going to have the same results or natural genetics/pre-disposition to grow the hair that they may see & want.

Not necessarily on this board but I see IRL women who have unrealistic expectations and aren't doing all the internal as well as external that it takes to have healthy hair, skin or nails....myself included because I'm kinda lazy and I really don't care about hair to that degree to be honest.

Now onto this board specifically, I can sense or see in some people's posting that they are envious moreso than jealous. It seems select heads of hair are given the gold stamp of approval and emulated right down to the exact same side of the head they part their hair on AND what color wrap they wear to bed....that's doing too much, IMO.

But I think you hair looks very lovely and you have no need to be jealous...you probably have more women envious of what you got going on than the other way around.

Keep workin' it like you're doing in that pic, sister-girl.

 

[sprungonhairboards]

..................

Now onto this board specifically, I can sense or see in some people's posting that they are envious moreso than jealous. It seems select heads of hair are given the gold stamp of approval and emulated right down to the exact same side of the head they part their hair on AND what color wrap they wear to bed....that's doing too much, IMO....

Ok that was funny.

 

[MonaLisa]

Your not by urself. I have been a detriment to myself because I thought that stocking cap weaves were a protective style. It is not, while ur hair is covered it also can not breathe. I was stunting my own growth. Now that my hair is out. It is really taking off.

Same scenario here (weaves/wigs) in addition....even though I was on the board...
I had a stylist who I thought was helping me, was actually hindering me...

it seemed like since I stopped wearing the wigs/stocking cap and stopped going to the Dominican salon as frequently - it's like my hair took off in the past year (August '06- July '07), where before then (2004-2006), it seemed to be at a crawl/standstill

I would look at folks heads on here and swear that they were rubbing hair crack on their scalps it seemed that they reached hair goals so fast.

I just accepted that I had slow growing hair and that at some point with patience, I would get to my goal.

Keep ya head up

 

[Kurlee]

Jus wanted to say ur siggy pic is hawt!!! And ur hair looks healthy jus keep working at it and ypu'll get to bsl soon. I'm tryna get to bsl too!!

 

[nicki6]

First off, FAMU...that siggy pic..VAVAVAVOOM:Flahsssss

To answer your question, I have turned pale shades of green while viewing some members progress. I have been lapped several times by many, but truth be told, I didn't really buckle down and 'ack right' til May '06.

Its as though I understood all of the great information, but I couldn't/wouldnt apply it consistently to my own hair Now, that I'm actively engaged in the process, my hair is progressing nicely. I totally agree with the poster that said "Be not discouraged,. There is someone eyeing your hair and wishing that they were where you are now"

I've been chasing the same 2-3 inches for months now, but I'm not overly concerned. For a long time, I didn't really believe that I'd make it as far as I have, so everything from this point on is gravy

 

[Energee]

I'm not jealous. I'm just inspired by all of the women who have met their goals---especially the ones who started out with similar length (full shoulder length) and texture (4a/b) as mine and had similar length goals (my goal is BSL).

I understand you though. When I see the photos of some I just think "I can't wait until mine is that long' but I'm never green. I'm just excited to think that I WILL be that length in a short while.

 

[FAMUDva]

Curious....

you said you had a set back while trying to figure out what works best for your hair.

have you otherwise been honest with yourself in how you take care of your hair? have you been consistent? did you do what the other ladies (who you are jealous of) have done?

I have not. I have used blow dryers AND flat irons on the same day. I have not always slept with anything on my hair (nothing near silk and any and everything cotton). I have not always deep conditioned. Not always used protein. Vitamins. Fugetaboutit.

I too have seen women make great progress. But I cannot be jealous when I have not worked as hard as they have for what they have.

Yes, I've been very honest... one of the set backs WAS trying to do what the other ladies were doing... I mean, I TRIED CW, Bagging, bunning, and the like on a VERY consistant basis and apparently my hair hated it... with a passion. erplexed

So, what I did after a while was realize my hair doesn't like all the tricks. I was not using direct heat on my hair for at least 3 years before LHCF, so I knew that wasn't the problem. What I did find works best for me is shampooing once every 5-7days with a deep condition, moisterizing, no heavy combing, and low/no direct heat, and I was relaxing every 10-12 weeks (texlax now). That's what turned me around. I don't baggy, I don't pony/bun unless I want to, and I don't do much else from what I've described here. And of course now it's thriving

The other set back was that I did try to transition for the first 7 months when I came to LHCF. Let's just say, I personally want long hair more than I want natural hair right now. Eventually I'll revisit, but at the time it was too much for me to grasp as a newbie.

 

[FAMUDva]

Curious....

you said you had a set back while trying to figure out what works best for your hair.

have you otherwise been honest with yourself in how you take care of your hair? have you been consistent? did you do what the other ladies (who you are jealous of) have done?

I have not. I have used blow dryers AND flat irons on the same day. I have not always slept with anything on my hair (nothing near silk and any and everything cotton). I have not always deep conditioned. Not always used protein. Vitamins. Fugetaboutit.

I too have seen women make great progress. But I cannot be jealous when I have not worked as hard as they have for what they have.

Forgot to add that I take vitamin, do MTG (winter months only), always sleep with a satin bonnet/scarf, roller set, wrap, etc. I've really been putting in the work, but now I know exactly what truly works for me.

 

[FAMUDva]

I can kinda relate.... I get jealous sometimes (although inspired) when I see everyones' (including yours!!!!!) beautiful long locks. I know to you it may not be 'long' or as long as you want it, but for people like me who are starting from a very short cut, thats a whole lotta hair!!!!

I know its frustrating.... but just look at how far youve come, how healthy your hair is now. I think Macherie said on her site that instead of obsessing over length, find alot of 'mini' goals. That way you arent always consumed w/ how long your hair is. It helps me.

Thanks Kels!

You're so right about making mini goals. Recently I focused on re-gaining my thickness and it's back. I also focused on having evenly trimmed APL and that's my reality now too I guess there are other nice things to focus on.

Now if I could just have a roller set that looks long. That's my ultimate goal.

 

[FAMUDva]

I feel the same way.

But it always helps when I look at join dates and see that folx with stunning hair have been around for a while. I first joined in Jan 06, but didn't get serious about hair until Nov 06... so I don't even have a full year of healthy hair care. I really can't expect to be that far.

Perspective helps for me. Speaking of which, are you tall? We all know that tall people have a longer journey to their goals. I have a friend, and we started growing our hair out at about the same time. Her hair (longest part) is 8 inches long, and she seems closer (a lot closer) to APL than I am despite the fact my longest hair strands are about 10 inches.

Either way, you'll reach your goals. I'm sure of it.

And you do look fabolous in your siggy pic. Where did you go this weekend?

Girl, I'm all of 5'1 and a half... So, I can't use the tall excuse. I'm so short that my APL hair would be shoulder length on a taller person.

Thanks for the compliment I went to an Alumni Kappa event this weekend here in Atlanta.

 

[FAMUDva]

Thank y'all for all the comments, compliments, and words of encouragement It's certainly a joy and a blessing to have LHCF!

I'm slightly blushing about the siggy pic comments Only slightly though! LOL! I was dragged out to an event with girl friends this weekend.

 

[envybeauty]

Yes, I've been very honest... one of the set backs WAS trying to do what the other ladies were doing... I mean, I TRIED CW, Bagging, bunning, and the like on a VERY consistant basis and apparently my hair hated it... with a passion. erplexed

So, what I did after a while was realize my hair doesn't like all the tricks. I was not using direct heat on my hair for at least 3 years before LHCF, so I knew that wasn't the problem. What I did find works best for me is shampooing once every 5-7days with a deep condition, moisterizing, no heavy combing, and low/no direct heat, and I was relaxing every 10-12 weeks (texlax now). That's what turned me around. I don't baggy, I don't pony/bun unless I want to, and I don't do much else from what I've described here. And of course now it's thriving

The other set back was that I did try to transition for the first 7 months when I came to LHCF. Let's just say, I personally want long hair more than I want natural hair right now. Eventually I'll revisit, but at the time it was too much for me to grasp as a newbie.

me 2----------

 

[FAMUDva]

me 2----------

My momma thought that was funny too! My natural friends called me a sell-out girl! I was like, "shot, I don't care... call me a sell out with my hair still on my head!". I had too much hair going down the drain and in the garbage from the comb. Transitioning ain't no JOKE! I applaud all those who stick with it.

Ms. FAMUDva is back on that creamy crack!

 

[Jetblackhair]

I just wanted to tell you, you look absolutely beautiful in your siggy!
I'm sure you will see more progress with your hair going forward.

 

[hairgirl]

I feel the same...........but I know if they did it I can too lol...

 

[fluffylocks]

I'm not any where near my goal either (I'm at least 1-2 years away), but when I look at some of my favorite heads of hair around here it took them took 3-4 years to reach goal. I've just resigned that it's gonna take that long. I've even toyed with the idea of not doing any length checks until the end of 2008! I haven't totally committed to that one tho. :wink2: I think it's pretty normal for it to be 4 years before you're solidly at goal.

Yeah, i agree, i think its pretty normal as well.

When i first started, i thought i was going to go by the table/hair chart of that women with the ruler, and since i wasnt bald, it would take less then 4 years because i only needed around 14 inches
But i didnt take into acount setbacks, breakage, and for some reason, it seems your hair takes a while to jump start off and it needs to get healthy first (but that probally just me), and i've extened my goal length 2 more inches...so yeah, around 4 years it is

 

[FAMUDva]

I just wanted to tell you, you look absolutely beautiful in your siggy!
I'm sure you will see more progress with your hair going forward.

Thanks .............

 

[january noir]

Yeah, I will finally admit that I'm slightly jealous!

I've been here for almost 2 years and am no where near my goals. I had healthy hair when I came, then it went down hill from there for about a year while I was trying to figure out my reggie. Thankfully things FINALLY bounced back and now I have the health I had pre-LHCF (link in siggy of July07 update).

Why am I jealous you say? WELL, I'm super excited for my LHCF sisters that have met and exceeded their goals in the same amount of time, but I am just a tad bit jealous because I wish i were there too. I feel stupid for feeling this way, AND I feel silly for admitting it, but it's something I wanted to get off my chest for a long time.

Now that I have it off my chest, I guess it will be ANOTHER 2 years before I'll actually realize my own goals

Am I alone? :sigh:
Happy Growing Ladies

You are not alone with these thoughts AND experience...
I too had pretty nice hair before coming to the forum and now am trying to correct my setbacks. I think the average turnaround for great results is at least 2 years ...

 

[MonaRae]

ahhh! A place to call home. I got the jealous bug too. At one point I was ready to stop coming to this site b/c it made me feel so bad about my hair. Every now and again I have to compare my pre-LHCF hair to now and now is much, much better.

Its hard being SL 2 years after finding this site. And on top of that I have been wearing my hair up all that time. And not to mention the set backs . And viewing beautiful heads of hair EVERYDAY! ! It was just too much.

Thanks for starting this one. I really thought I was alone !