What do you say when a non-AA person says you have "good" hair?

[tryn2growmyhair]

I was at a health food store buying horsetail tea and I told the Indian woman at the counter that I was trying to grow my hair out and that's why I was buying the tea. She goes, oh, but you have "good" hair why do you want to grow your hair any longer (my hair is collarbone length in the front and around the underarms in the back)?

It made me sad to hear her say that. I have been thinking of going natural. After coming to LHCF I have seen that it is not so hard to take care of. I have 4a/b hair and realize that I like the feel of my curls, which I only get to experience when extending relaxers. What if I had rolled up in their with a big ol' fro? What would she have said then?

I think fros are gorgeous, the tighter the curls, the better. But it's interesting how our society really prizes straight hair -- even to the point where Hispanic, Italian and Jewish women will spend hours blowdrying their hair and other minorities have internalized the message that straight is great.

What would you have said to this woman? I don't think she was being mean, she probably thought that she was giving me a compliment. Had she been AA, I might have said something to her but because she was clearly an immigrant, I just bought my horsetail tea and left.

 

[Koffie]

I would have asked her what GoOd HaIr was.

 

[MizAvalon]

I would have just said thank you and kept it moving. IMO, it's really pointless and redundant trying to educate people, especially non-blacks, about the whole "good hair, bad hair" thing.

 

[Carlie]

I was at a health food store buying horsetail tea and I told the Indian woman at the counter that I was trying to grow my hair out and that's why I was buying the tea. She goes, oh, but you have "good" hair why do you want to grow your hair any longer (my hair is collarbone length in the front and around the underarms in the back)?

Personally, I don't see an issue in what she said. As you previously stated, "she was clearly an immigrant"....therefore, by examining the context of the statement it seems to me that she could of been referring to your hair length when she used the word "good," as opposed to good or bad hair. It's like saying, "You already have a good length...why do you want to grow your hair any longer?"

I would've just smiled and said thank you!

 

[GoingBack]

Personally, I don't see an issue in what she said. As you previously stated, "she was clearly an immigrant"....therefore, by examining the context of the statement it seems to me that she could of been referring to your hair length when she used the word "good," as opposed to good or bad hair. It's like saying, "You already have a good length...why do you want to grow your hair any longer?"

I would've just smiled and said thank you!

That is exactly how I interpreted the comment. I don't think that she was referring to the texture of your hair, but instead the length.

 

[tryn2growmyhair]

Thanks for all the responses guys.

 

[kristina]

Yeah, I wouldn't read much into the comment- she, like most non-AAs- is not aware of our historical issues with grading hair so good hair probably meant exactly that. and it doesn't seem like it was a reference to texture. I know many indians who say that they have good hair (and frankly they do) but they mean that it's healthy, lush, and strong.

 

[karezone]

Indian people have good hair/ bad hair issues as well as colorism. I am pretty sure that she understands on some level the issues.

 

[Jenai]

I took her comment to mean that you had a good length of hair - nothing more.

 

[SandySea]

If she were an AA from the good ole south, then I think it would be more cause for concern. She probably didn't mean "good hair" in the way that an AA would use the phrase. She might have meant good as in healthy and long. Who knows?

 

[tryn2growmyhair]

That's the thing. Those phrases are ambiguous. I know that some indians have color issues and hair issues (straightening is actually an issue for some Indians) so I wasn't sure. I guess its important to always give someone the benefit of the doubt and just take the comment as a compliment.

 

[lkg4healthyhair]

In my opinoin her comment was just saying your hair is nice or beautiful or pretty the way it is. I have an Indian friend and they use the term "good" a lot. I wouldn't give it anymore thought if I were you. I don't see anything wrong with what she said...

 

[MrsQueeny]

I took it to mean that you have a good length already. OT can you tell me more about the horsetail tea. Thanks Q

 

[Cinnabuns]

My 4a / 4b friend keeps telling me that and I always ask him "What is good hair" and he can never answer me with a straight forward answer. I'm 3b / 3c and little does he know that I love his all natural hair more than mine, it's so long and thick

 

[Enchantmt]

Personally, I don't see an issue in what she said. As you previously stated, "she was clearly an immigrant"....therefore, by examining the context of the statement it seems to me that she could of been referring to your hair length when she used the word "good," as opposed to good or bad hair. It's like saying, "You already have a good length...why do you want to grow your hair any longer?"

I would've just smiled and said thank you!

Agreed. I also want to know..what are the benefits of horsetail tea?

 

[tryn2growmyhair]

Horsetail has silica, which is good for hair. Some hair products are infused with horsetail, so I figured it would be better for me hair to try to nourish it from the inside out and take this internally. Since I am already popping so many pills (Naturemade Super B Complex, Multivitamin and now 1000 mg GNC MSM amonng others), I decided that the only way that I would include this would be to have a cup of tea per day. I am worried about popping too many pills and I dont mind drinking tea.

 

[adrienne0914]

I would have just said thank you and kept it moving. IMO, it's really pointless and redundant trying to educate people, especially non-blacks, about the whole "good hair, bad hair" thing.

yeah, i can't worry about all the other folks. it's hard enough trying to get our own people to stop using this term. WE are who i hate hearing this from. i'm sure she's only repeating what she heard...

 

[Poohbear]

Personally, I don't see an issue in what she said. As you previously stated, "she was clearly an immigrant"....therefore, by examining the context of the statement it seems to me that she could of been referring to your hair length when she used the word "good," as opposed to good or bad hair. It's like saying, "You already have a good length...why do you want to grow your hair any longer?"

I would've just smiled and said thank you!

I was thinking the same thing when I read the initial post!

 

[Country gal]

Once you described your length, I assumed she was talking you have nice long hair.

Indians have a grading system too?

 

[tryn2growmyhair]

Indians have a grading system too?

Not all, but some do. For instance, in some personal ads, people have put the color of the bride that they want in the past. Also, when I was doing research on Desi products and ayurvedic haircare, I am across a lot of items about how to straighten your hair -- some Indians have naturally curly hair.

Anywho, I've decided to take what she said as a compliment. Thanks for all the advice, guys.

 

[EbonyEyes]

I was thinking the same thing when I read the initial post!

Me too!

-Ebony

 

[mattapansista]

What do you say to an AA person who tells you that you have/dont have "good hair"? My ex came from a family where all the women had long naturally staight hair. So to him i didnt have "good hair" because i had to relax mine to get it straight.

 

[tryn2growmyhair]

What do you say to an AA person who tells you that you have/dont have "good hair"? My ex came from a family where all the women had long naturally staight hair. So to him i didnt have "good hair" because i had to relax mine to get it straight.

If a guy came at me like that, he would be my ex too!

 

[Koffie]

If a guy came at me like that, he would be my ex too!

OKAAAY!!!

 

[mattapansista]

You guys are too funny!

 

[sugarsweet]

I was at a health food store buying horsetail tea and I told the Indian woman at the counter that I was trying to grow my hair out and that's why I was buying the tea. She goes, oh, but you have "good" hair why do you want to grow your hair any longer (my hair is collarbone length in the front and around the underarms in the back)?

It made me sad to hear her say that. I have been thinking of going natural. After coming to LHCF I have seen that it is not so hard to take care of. I have 4a/b hair and realize that I like the feel of my curls, which I only get to experience when extending relaxers. What if I had rolled up in their with a big ol' fro? What would she have said then?

I think fros are gorgeous, the tighter the curls, the better. But it's interesting how our society really prizes straight hair -- even to the point where Hispanic, Italian and Jewish women will spend hours blowdrying their hair and other minorities have internalized the message that straight is great.

What would you have said to this woman? I don't think she was being mean, she probably thought that she was giving me a compliment. Had she been AA, I might have said something to her but because she was clearly an immigrant, I just bought my horsetail tea and left.

how long was her hair?

 

[tryn2growmyhair]

how long was her hair?

Oh, it was at least BSL.

 

[Jewell]

I can identify with this thread. My Caucasian male manager when I used to work at Rack Room Shoes said that I have "white people's hair." I guess because that just happened to be a day when it was freshly washed and set, and really bouncy, it was "white people's hair." I bet if it was slicked down with grease and/or oil he wouldn't have said that. I didn't say anything...I just laughed because I thought it was a very silly thing to say.

 

[sugarsweet]

Oh, it was at least BSL.

I don't think she even put that much thought into it because indians tend to have very long hair and she just might have thought of it as a hasel to have long hair. she might have admired the health of your hair more than you think . no matter what nationality you can always tell when someone has healthy hair or not. so keep your head up girl and keep doing what your doing.