White/Jewish guy asked me today: When are you going to comb your hair?
- Thread starter Je Ne Sais Quoi
- Start date
blue_flower
Well-Known Member
That guy had a lot of nerve.
delray712000
Member
Qetesh
New Member
people do like to make it seem as though afro hair is a joke. I have also had some less then sensitive comments about my hair. i would have reacted the way the other poster said and came back with... are u gonna wash your *** today?? ...he wouldnt have come to me with any more "jokes" after that.
What if a woman said it? Would that be different? Does the race of the speaker matter?
Are they both male? How do u respond?
You're probably right. But, as some have mentioned, it's interesting that he felt that he could turn a woman's (obvious?) efforts to embrace her natural self (ie the hair texture that grows out of her head) into a joke. It's analogous to someone trying to break the ice with a hooked nosed Jewish person they've never joked with by saying "when are you going to get that nose job"? Awkward...
LaidBak
New Member
I doubt he put that much thought into it. People outside our race aren't all wrapped up in their hair like we are (turning it into a statement and whatnot). And plus, Jews are known for having thick curly, kinky hair just like us. And anyway, it was a dude. Men poke fun at women they want to get close to. We all learned that in the 2nd grade. In the end if the OP is happy with her hair then who gives a dang what anybody says. Just let it roll off.
Almaz
New Member
Would it have made a difference if he was NOT Jewish. What does being Jewish have anything to do with it. If he wasn't would that would have made it better? Its wrong no matter who it comes from and it is usually Blacks that are asking when are you going to get a perm. White people just don't know and sometimes don't care about the things that they say to us that is a given but what does his religon have to do with it?
Je Ne Sais Quoi
Well-Known Member
Ummmmm, hi guys 
DarkandLovely
New Member
Man...this has me crackin' up
MissNina
Libra Girl
brucebettye
New Member
I admire your strong will power not to say anything negative back. He only apologized because he was not sure if you were going to HR on him. I bet he will never say anything that stupid to you again!
camilla
Well-Known Member
Chevelure618
New Member
Many caucasians just don't understand our hair. They don't understand that it just doesn't drop and fall the way theirs does. A "twist out" is not in their verbal/visual vocabulary. you did the right thing..and so did he by apologizing.
growth2come
Well-Known Member
Oh dear Lord WOW! He should know his limits....I mean if he doesnt know you like that then why go there...? Good thing he apologised, I think with your tactful reaction he knows that next time he may not be as lucky...he may just lose an eye if he tries that mess again! The nerve of some people...
Miamori
New Member
Whenever these threads popped up I'm amazed at how the PO'ed people are always lambasted for not giving the perpetrator (yes, I said it ) a pass, simply because they don't see anything wrong with their behavior. 
If we stayed giving them passes half a decade ago because WE saw issues they did not, I'd still be getting second best for everything... backs of buses, shanty behind schools and supplies, ya'll know the rest... and I'm sorry, but I'm better than that, and so are all the other non white people I know.
And instead of giving him passes on asking me about combing my hair, because he thinks it's cool, I'd be giving him passes on talking about my hips or my booty, and trying to fend him or someone other clear man off on my walk home, just because he didn't put the thought into it initially to see that he's out of line.
I jumped making the connection, but it's honestly a direct extension to me. I'm not giving ANYONE any type of pass on ANYTHING when it comes to any type of statement that reveals ignorance, miseducation, or racism when it comes to a black person, and I'm definitely going to be very irritated when it's suggested that I do so. His statement was harmless enough contextually, but this mess always pisses me off because it's a rights issue. He's entitled to not here ish being said about his nose, so until I'm not hearing everyone crack on my hair (TO ME especially!) because I'm a black woman and you know hair's our thing so it's funny, haha, we're not cool peoples, son!
We're supposed to be giving you passes... where are our daggone passes? We've gotten those?
Can I ask you when you're going to finally stop pinching you pennies and loosen up a little? Would it be okay if I ask why you aren't a jeweler or a banker, and why you decided to work here? I'd be chewed out and out the door with hurt feelings.
I have been in multicultural and multiracial environments in the U.S. ALL my life, and I have NEVER seen a black woman or man get a pass on ANY race-related thing if there were more than one clear person present. More importantly, much of the reason is that we don't have the privilege of needing them all the daggone time! White people have the privilege of being allowed to be ignorant and oblivious. Black people don't have that. Not too long ago, an ignorant black man or woman was a tarred, stabbed, strung up, drowned burnt black man or woman. It's not too different today, except now it's more like a shot or jailed black man or woman. The end result is still a termination of the possibility of a fulfilling life. I've only seen black people get passes on these things when I've been abroad, and only when they were foreigners or tourists. Generally speaking, we don't get passes in this country, and I'm not dishing them out.
This is what "white privilege" is about. This is what being one step away from shucking and jiving, coonery and buffoonery, and Uncle Tom the toady, is about.
Whites have gotten the pass privilege long enough, and I'm D.O.N.E. provided it. It's time we were on the same playing field in law AND in life, sorry.
In my estimation, we're not really equal in standing in terms of citizenship and respect until you show me the SAME respect I am culturally and professionally required to show your sorry behind, and I am not going to be happy about it, and I am NOT. GIVING. ANY. PASSES.
) a pass, simply because they don't see anything wrong with their behavior. If we stayed giving them passes half a decade ago because WE saw issues they did not, I'd still be getting second best for everything... backs of buses, shanty behind schools and supplies, ya'll know the rest... and I'm sorry, but I'm better than that, and so are all the other non white people I know.
And instead of giving him passes on asking me about combing my hair, because he thinks it's cool, I'd be giving him passes on talking about my hips or my booty, and trying to fend him or someone other clear man off on my walk home, just because he didn't put the thought into it initially to see that he's out of line.
I jumped making the connection, but it's honestly a direct extension to me. I'm not giving ANYONE any type of pass on ANYTHING when it comes to any type of statement that reveals ignorance, miseducation, or racism when it comes to a black person, and I'm definitely going to be very irritated when it's suggested that I do so. His statement was harmless enough contextually, but this mess always pisses me off because it's a rights issue. He's entitled to not here ish being said about his nose, so until I'm not hearing everyone crack on my hair (TO ME especially!) because I'm a black woman and you know hair's our thing so it's funny, haha, we're not cool peoples, son!
We're supposed to be giving you passes... where are our daggone passes? We've gotten those?
Can I ask you when you're going to finally stop pinching you pennies and loosen up a little? Would it be okay if I ask why you aren't a jeweler or a banker, and why you decided to work here? I'd be chewed out and out the door with hurt feelings.
I have been in multicultural and multiracial environments in the U.S. ALL my life, and I have NEVER seen a black woman or man get a pass on ANY race-related thing if there were more than one clear person present. More importantly, much of the reason is that we don't have the privilege of needing them all the daggone time! White people have the privilege of being allowed to be ignorant and oblivious. Black people don't have that. Not too long ago, an ignorant black man or woman was a tarred, stabbed, strung up, drowned burnt black man or woman. It's not too different today, except now it's more like a shot or jailed black man or woman. The end result is still a termination of the possibility of a fulfilling life. I've only seen black people get passes on these things when I've been abroad, and only when they were foreigners or tourists. Generally speaking, we don't get passes in this country, and I'm not dishing them out.
This is what "white privilege" is about. This is what being one step away from shucking and jiving, coonery and buffoonery, and Uncle Tom the toady, is about.
Whites have gotten the pass privilege long enough, and I'm D.O.N.E. provided it. It's time we were on the same playing field in law AND in life, sorry.
In my estimation, we're not really equal in standing in terms of citizenship and respect until you show me the SAME respect I am culturally and professionally required to show your sorry behind, and I am not going to be happy about it, and I am NOT. GIVING. ANY. PASSES.
Bachelorette
New Member
I probably would have laughed at the irony cos most of the jews I KNOW have some nappy *** hair. I probably would have mentioned that too
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Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
Ummmmm, hi guys
Old threads with the word Jewish in them are all getting bumped.
Just ride it out.
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