My family just don't understand my hair journey....

[Chocolatelove2010]

Sorry.. I just feel to vent.

I can take jokes, and before I would only hear a hair joke maybe once a year. But now my family know I'm on a hair journey I hear it daily. The first few days were ha... ha.. ha funny But now even my mum is getting in on them.

My lil cousin had really long hair and I found out today she cut it. I just said to my mum 'aww that's sad, it was really long down to her hip why did she do that'' my mum (aware I'm on my hair journey) replies ''Yeah but her hair grows quickly, not the type of hair you have to say Pleaseeeeeeeeeee, Pleaseeeeeeeeee, Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee... Grow.''

Then I have my brother to deal with. He comes into my room and says 'How are your drugs coming along'' (he's talking about my Multi-Vitamins) and ''Damn you need ALL these products for your hair to grow''

I wish I kept my hair journey a secret, because I'm the butt of all jokes in my household, at the moment. So right now I'm pretending to not care for my hair, and secretly go into the bathroom to moisturize and condition. This what they've driven me to.

It's because my mum's hair is to her tailbone, and all she does is comb and oil. That's enough for her hair, she doesn't need to deep condition or seal at night blah blah. And in my household the 'myth' of if you have afro texture hair - it wont grow is something strongly believed, hell I believed it until I stumbled across youtube videos and this website, so now I know better. But it seems they still don't. I've tried to educate them, and although now they acknowledge afro texture hair does grow.. they still

They just see my hair journey as a joke really, and that my hair will never grow lreally long. But even if it does and I suprise them, I know they'll never let me live down how much work I put in. I'd be like ''Look my hair grows, don't hate'' and they'd reply ''Yeah but You used drugs and a 1,000 hair products.''

*breathes in*

:thatsall:

Wow, venting really does make you feel better. *sigh

Do you keep your hair journey a secret?

 

[indarican]

just keep up your hair care.... they will eventually get tired of it.. and then when they least expect it and you have reached a real decent length, whip that bad boy out and make them eat there words. for me negative words is just fuel to do better.

 

[nappystorm]

Awwww, OP


It's not a secret, per se. People know I take care of my hair but they don't know the extent of it. I keep the hair boards, fotki, progress pics, etc a secret.

 

[melissa-bee]

Your hair is gorgeous.
I haven't told anyone really about my hair journey but I don't have the type of people in my life that will tease me.
I think your family is being light hearted and don't see how much it's hurting your feelings.
I don't know what else to say.
I think I have the type of hair where I should beg it to grow. No joke.

 

[FearfullyMade]

I would tell them all to kiss my a$$, keep it moving and keep doing me! Keep doing what works for you to get your hair to where you want to be.

 

[frizzy]

The hair in your siggy is gorgeous, I don't see anything jokeable there.

I'm sure your family doesn't mean to hurt you feelings and are prolly completely oblivious that they are, you have to stand strong in your journey and wait it out for growth.

But even if your hair doesn't grow out as long as some of the women/girls in your family, what's the big deal?

 

[Supergirl]

Yeah, we should have something on the first page for newbies that tells them that it's probably best to keep it all to yourself. You're all excited about it when you first come to LHCF and most "outsiders" just won't understand it all. But let your results speak for themselves.

 

[PeopleTalkDaily]

I USED TO GET IT ALL THE TIME...
keep doing you..
ur hair is very pretty

 

[ellehair]

my dh thought it was a joke until i caught him sneaking my products.. then its not funny anymore.. other than my household members i dont advertise that im on a hair care journey to bsl. people would look at me like "huh"?? to each his/her own..

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

Thanks ladies..

And Yeah I'm sure they don't know how much they're offending me. But even if they did.. they'd still find it funny, infact probably more funny

And I don't wanna give them that satisfaction.

Anytime a family member comes to my house and they have really long hair... my brother tells them to go shake their hair infront of me because that will upset me.

I must admit I do my fair share of teasing him, like asking him why he has a patchy beard and looks like Wolverine when he doesn't shave. But still... he needs to give my hair a break.

 

[Vashti]

and they'd reply ''Yeah but You used drugs and a 1,000 hair products.''

...and their point would be?

No, but seriously, you shouldn't have said anything to them about it since this is how they want to treat you over it, but the cat's out of the bag now.

Soooo, whether your hair grows an inch a month or 4 inches in a year when you take good care of it you WILL reach your goal! There is no doubt about that. One day you will have long hair and they will have to eat a big ol' bowl of crow, regardless of how long it took you to get it.

 

[~VicTorIAn~]

My lil cousin had really long hair and I found out today she cut it. I just said to my mum 'aww that's sad, it was really long down to her hip why did she do that'' my mum (aware I'm on my hair journey) replies ''Yeah but her hair grows quickly, not the type of hair you have to say Pleaseeeeeeeeeee, Pleaseeeeeeeeee, Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee... Grow.''

I've probably said this to my hair a time or two back in the day(pre-LHCF).

 

[nappystorm]

Thanks ladies..

And Yeah I'm sure they don't know how much they're offending me. But even if they did.. they'd still find it funny, infact probably more funny

And I don't wanna give them that satisfaction.

Anytime a family member comes to my house and they have really long hair... my brother tells them to go shake their hair infront of me because that will upset me.

I must admit I do my fair share of teasing him, like asking him why he has a patchy beard and looks like Wolverine when he doesn't shave. But still... he needs to give my hair a break.

Your hair is so gorgeous, I wouldn't give a damn!

 

[nappystorm]

I've probably said this to my hair a time or two back in the day(pre-LHCF).

I still say this...

 

[MsChelle]

I wouldn't say that I keep my hair journey a secret, I just don't tell many people the extent I go to in caring for my hair. If they ask I will tell them but I don't volunteer the info. People seem to get really judgmental about things like hair growth and weight loss. So I don't disclose what I do to people. They almost seem to look forward to your failure. But you have a gorgeus head of hair and I say keep doing what you do regardless of the teasing in your home. You can always come here and we will listen to you.

 

[Spring]

Yeah, we should have something on the first page for newbies that tells them that it's probably best to keep it all to yourself. You're all excited about it when you first come to LHCF and most "outsiders" just won't understand it all. But let your results speak for themselves.

I agree with Supergirl, .... discretion is the wisest route in situations like this

 

[Adaoba2012]

Yea I completely agree with the other ladies. When I first started my hair journey I didn't tell a soul except for my sister who later joined with me. After a few months I told my Dad and he was actually very supportive and still is. I don't really go into the details about my reggie or anything because its not their business. At the end of the day I'm doing this for me, myself and I

 

[Luscious Locks]

Hi, honey. I'm sorry that your family is being so insensitive and thick headed.

Now that everything is out in the open I would go about doing what you need to do to get to your goal. Have the strength to be who you want to be and do what you want to do. People, including family, say a lot of things. No one will every understand your journey the way that you do. It hurts, yes, but you'll get over it.

I'd say to continue to put your hair cream on in the privacy of your room or the bathroom. And when you want to talk about, come talk to us. We're here for you. And we're as obsessed, if not more so obsessed with hair as you.

::hugs::

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

ignore em. when your hair is down your back, their tune will change, and they'll start acting like they were in your corner since the beginning. i'm evil, so when they start asking you for tips, kindly remind them how they treated you. ♥

 

[ellehair]

OP - your hair in your siggy is lovely.. omg i wonder what your family would be doing if they saw my 4b hair and knew my goals, lol

 

[VirGoViXxEn]

Last night while im washing my hair (I wash an DC 2 x's a week)My mom is like why do you keep washing your hair? You know black people's hair needs to retiaine dirt to grow. I just replied ok mom. MInd you shes always commenting on how healthy and how much my hair has grown. Some people just dont understand. Thats why I love my Forum isters!!

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

I feel for you so much.
I got alot of the same things from my family too, because they have APL and BSL hair with zero effort, and mine was so ugly. Once I told them I was trying to grow my hair, the jokes and jabs were non-stop. Non. stop. Everything was made into a joke about me growing my hair.
A year later, my hair is longer and healthier than everyone else's, except for maybe my mother's. (I haven't seen it down in a long time, so I don't know what her's looks like.) And these folks still make fun of me and laugh at my goals, although the jokes have slowed considerably.

As the other ladies said, the best thing would have been to not tell them anything about your hair journey. But since that ship has sailed, you have the develop a really thick skin about it. And grow a mean poker face. Even when they irritate you, act like you don't hear it or feel anything, although I know it's easier said than done. I can't say that the jabs will stop, but they probably will taper off, because when they feel like you're bored with their taunting, they'll become bored with it too.
But don't hide or act like you don't care for your hair, because when it's flowing down your back and you're swanging it in their faces, you need to be able to point to your hair practices as the cause.
Chin up girl. You have gorgeous hair already, and it's only going to get better.

 

[ms.blue]

I don't tell my family anything but since they see that I have a lot of products they pretty much guessed it. My issue is that why do they care so much? First of all, your hair is beautiful and you and your family should be happy about that. You will show them once they notice the progress that you have made. Then you could be shaking your hair in your brother's face!

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

I feel for you so much.
I got alot of the same things from my family too, because they have APL and BSL hair with zero effort, and mine was so ugly. Once I told them I was trying to grow my hair, the jokes and jabs were non-stop. Non. stop. Everything was made into a joke about me growing my hair.
A year later, my hair is longer and healthier than everyone else's, except for maybe my mother's. (I haven't seen it down in a long time, so I don't know what her's looks like.) And these folks still make fun of me and laugh at my goals, although the jokes have slowed considerably.

As the other ladies said, the best thing would have been to not tell them anything about your hair journey. But since that ship has sailed, you have the develop a really thick skin about it. And grow a mean poker face. Even when they irritate you, act like you don't hear it or feel anything, although I know it's easier said than done. I can't say that the jabs will stop, but they probably will taper off, because when they feel like you're bored with their taunting, they'll become bored with it too.
But don't hide or act like you don't care for your hair, because when it's flowing down your back and you're swanging it in their faces, you need to be able to point to your hair practices as the cause.
Chin up girl. You have gorgeous hair already, and it's only going to get better.

Exactly..Because they reach hair lengths with pretty much 0 effort. I always thought 'hair growth' was purely genetics, and didn't think my negligence was the cause.

I got my poker face on but at the back of my mind I'm thinking what if my hair doesn't grow longer . because then they'll tell family members I used drugs and all sorts of hair products and still didn't achieve length.

If that happens... I think I will and then

 

[FebeeSigns]

It's no one else's business but mine. When i told my cousins I realized my mistake. The questions and ewh's never stopped. "Well how are you gonna wear your hair, in an afro all the time? ewh" "How would you ever get a job?" ect. Now I just keep my delicious hair journey to myself and I'm happy. I only invite guests to witness my journey if they're on my level. I hope even though youuur family never gets it, that you get what you want and ignore their comments.

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

Seriously... I love all you hair-obsessed ladies

From now on Ya'll are my hair sisters, and I'm never going to discuss 'hair' with these outsiders. They really just don't get it.

Thank you all for your advice, and kind words.

 

[Mook's hair]

Eye for an eye...find something to clown them about.

Also. If that is you in your Avatar & siggy then you have truly gorgeous hair.

Just stick with us...We'll lift you up. BUNK them!

 

[thehairmaverick]

Every time they crack jokes abut your HHJ, it shows that they are just as obsessed as you are It will only make your success that much sweeter. Since they are paying attention, make sure kindly rub it in their faces once you reach your goals

that's my 2 cents

 

[libertysince05]

i'm exceedingly annoyed on your behalf...
why cant they be supportive, if they want to joke limit it for a week...
reading some of the replies and other posts on this forum makes me depressed sometimes...
why should those on hair journeys have to treat it as a dirty secret?
i see hair journey the same way we view skincare and general health, its just a way to ge the best out of your body...
i told my family about my hair journey they said ok, and moved on...no jokes or wisecracks from time to time i get asked for tips, but nothing else.
OP you should at least talk to your mother and mention that constantly making you the butt of jokes is not what you expect from your family...as adults they should know that there is only so far that you can joke about a subject before it becomes hurtful and affects the recipients self-esteem.
Unlike other posters i will not say you made a mistake by sharing your goals as there is nothing wrong with wanting healthier hair.
They should get a grip and act like intelligent human beings.
PS: I dont mean to offend your family, but i'm just annoyed. If they cant/ want to support you, then they should just shut up and ignore it.

 

[Sianna]

I don't keep my hair journey a secret, but I don't go out of my way to advertise it either. If someone asks me a question about my hair I give them the basics, but that's pretty much it.

Don't let the things your family is saying get to you. Like others have mentioned, I don't think they're really trying to be mean, I just think they are still under the mistaken belief that afro hair is an inferior type of hair, and so they make comments that run along those lines. It's sad really and based on your siggy, I don't see how they can continue to believe such ridiculousness!

Try and take it all in stride. What will it matter what people say when your hair reaches your goal length? So what if it only grew cause you used "drugs," potions and creams? The hair will "speak" for itself at that point.

As for me, I guess I have a pretty thick skin because if anyone decides to make negative comments about me, my hair or my hair journey, I'll simply tell them whose grits they can kiss and keep it moving.