To the bolded: How are we supposed to instill in our daughters a sense of pride in the way that they are naturally, god-given, if we continuously impose upon them the idea that you must chemically alter yourself in order to be acceptable, approachable, pretty, etc. etc. etc.?
I don't get it.
I don't recall saying one should impose upon out children the idea they must chemically alter their hair, in my post, but I'll bite.
You said: "Impose". I would assume that to mean you choose to relax your child's hair before they are aware of all the social, racial and economic complexities that surround Black Hair.
Considering I took a good bit of time to note in my post that ONLY if my daughter saw straightening her hair (and I note "to go back and forth" with many would assume to be NON-chemical, though one can BC often if they like) as I see picking out a new lip-gloss (we seem to agree make-up, as it can be washed off is less detrimental to someone emotionally, as a Black woman in particular, than the damage of the "good hair vs. bad hair debate") I'm not sure why you've made the comment you have in reference to my post.
I'm also not sure who "we" is. If by "we" you are including future-me-with-a-daughter, I must ask you to redefine your "we".
If you mean "we" as a people, regardless of where we fall on the relaxer v. natural debate....
I
ABSOLUTELY understand what you are getting at!
If this is the vein you are coming from, in response to my post, I can understand how this can seem as an insurmountable task (I not saying you're implying that, just being a bit melodramatic) due to our community's mindset about Black Beauty.
However, as I noted...I may fail, it will be a full time job, but I will fight for her to be as emotionally sound as possible.
To do that, I PERSONALLY, would NOT relax my daughter until she is old enough to understand the aforementioned complexities and has her own sense of self.
I am transitioning to natural for the second time, I might add, for those who may wonder how my hair's current state may be shaping my response.
I expect that to be any where from 19-23 years of age.
By then, she would begin moving to fully take care of herself financially (like my parents, I believe in helping to usher children into adulthood beyond the legal 18 years of age).
Thus...she can buy her own relaxer and pay for her own internet service to join LHCF and read mommy's 50-11 hair product reviews!!
I'd also like to add, dear, that I don't want you to take this post as an "attack".
I know text is emotionally-ambiguous and my posts have been called "passionate" before. I'm honestly writing this, quite non-plussed, with rapidly drying nails and peach tea at my side.
You ask a very important question.
It requires the thoughtful discussion we are currently having in this thread to answer.
Which, I might add, has gone on intelligently and has proven a fantastic read.
Thank you ladies of LHCF.