Views of what is "pretty" aside, I don't feel like a child should be relaxed. Like many of the others have said, once they're 18...can buy their own and do for themselves, that is THEIR decision, though I will say I hope my daughter will continue to love and care for her natural hair as much as I do. I see people "arguing" the relaxed view...that sometimes a child's hair is just so unmanageable, yadda, yadda....So you're sending the message to this child that you "can't" do their hair, when in reality it's often "I'm too lazy to deal with it." or "I just don't know how." Which is fine..but if you don't know, what are we taught our entire lives to do? FIND OUT.
My mom relaxed my hair when I was 8 years old I believe. Until then, I had natural hair that she would use Wave Nouveau products on to help her manage it. 8 years old isn't very old people. I have no memory whatsoever of what my actual hair looked like, nor do I have any real memories of how to take care of it. I was never given the chance to learn. There is also the unspoken view that straight hair is more acceptable. We live in a Euro-influenced society where caucasians are the majority, and anything else is a minority. There are some white people with some kinky a$$ hair lol, but they are few and far inbetween, and they often straighten their hair to look like their counterparts. We are teaching our daughters when we relax their hair at an early age that what they look like in their natural form is unacceptable.
My daughter has BEAUTIFUL hair. I think it's a 3c/4a/4z lol she's got some of it all in there. Thick, soft, and down to her butt. Sometimes I put it in a poof because she likes to wear a "ponytail" other times I go back to basics and braid/twist and throw some barettes in it
Either way, my child looks presentable. We lived in a rural town up until about a year ago, and she started school there. This town was out in the boonies..black population: Us and two other families lol. There was one black girl in my daughter's entire school.
Her hair was relaxed. Mind you, my daughter was in kindergarten then and they were in the same class.
The little white girls and their momma's loved her hair and would always compliment her or myself on it. One day she comes home from school and says to me, "Mama...I want long blonde hair that's straight. The other girl that looks like me has straight hair." I think I almost had a heart attack. Straight is one thing...but she said BLONDE
I asked her where she got the idea from. She tells me the other black girl said if her hair isn't straight it's nappy and doesn't look good. That in itself broke my heart for the other little girl and the poison her family has put in her head that how she is is just wrong.
I don't care how many relaxed heads (no disrespect; it's your opinion and you have the right to have it) come in here and say that they turned out fine, or that if you just take care of it, it will be okay. Yes - if you "take care of it" it will LOOK okay...but check out
http://www.pg.com/science/haircare/hair_twh_77.htm and look at some of those pictures and tell me if you still feel the same way. Not to mention...even if the hair was restored and was lustrous and beautiful, etc, etc...it doesn't change the fact that you are putting harsh chemicals on a child's undeveloped scalp. Kiddie perms are a facade. They are the same strength as an "adult" perm. They just make the box look all pretty. The burn from the PCJ I had as a kid was no different than the burn I got from the various other relaxers I tried as an adult.
I could go on and on forever about how much I am against this, but not only would it be preaching to the choir, but I know someone's going to get annoyed by my rambling if they haven't already.
So I'll shut up now. I just feel that as grown, strong, African-American - or whatever other nationality you may be - women, we need to stand up and stop making excuses for denying who we are. There's no excuse for hurting our babies just because we "didn't know" on this one.
EDIT: Thought I'd throw the pics in j.i.c. ppl had issues with the site.