maxineshaw
Well-Known Member
Hello everyone. I am in desperate need of commentary from you ladies (and gents...if there are any out there). I am trying to figure out if certain aspects of my personality are interfering with my decision to not attend church.
So I have been doing some soul searching and I have drawn a tentative conclusion that somewhat frightens me. I think I tend to nitpick things to the point that I prevent myself from living. I've noticed that I do this a lot with church, and I am afraid that my perception of what a church should be may be interfering with my decision to not attend it.
For example, I have huge problem with churches that sell things. My sister tells me that I am overreacting because every church (so she says) conducts business in the form of selling books, having a daycare, and things of that nature. She is basically saying to me that I should brush it aside and just go because in this day and age there is no way around it. However, prior to my soul searching I didn't agree with her. I mean, I don't agree with her now, but after several years of not attending I am starting to waver...just a little bit.
Am I overreacting? Am I looking too deep at what I think a church should be? Am I reading John 2:13-16 incorrectly? Is God angered by business that is conducted by a lot of churches? After many years of not attending church, I feel as if I am expecting too much, that I am judging churches too harshly, that I may be expecting something that I'm not going to get. Or am I right, and my depression over the current state of a lot of churches is causing me to waver?
Now, to those who may ask, I expect a church to follow the word of God and not draw their own conclusions about certain matters (such as the aforementioned scripture). I expect to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit within the physical house and be awakened through my own spirit as I am fed the word of God. My own confusion comes from the above mentioned personality trait which is concentrating on the negative (and Dear Father, please help me). But, I don't want to brush things to the side. I just want to see God everywhere in the one place that He should exist throughout.
I'd really appreciate feedback.
So I have been doing some soul searching and I have drawn a tentative conclusion that somewhat frightens me. I think I tend to nitpick things to the point that I prevent myself from living. I've noticed that I do this a lot with church, and I am afraid that my perception of what a church should be may be interfering with my decision to not attend it.
For example, I have huge problem with churches that sell things. My sister tells me that I am overreacting because every church (so she says) conducts business in the form of selling books, having a daycare, and things of that nature. She is basically saying to me that I should brush it aside and just go because in this day and age there is no way around it. However, prior to my soul searching I didn't agree with her. I mean, I don't agree with her now, but after several years of not attending I am starting to waver...just a little bit.
Am I overreacting? Am I looking too deep at what I think a church should be? Am I reading John 2:13-16 incorrectly? Is God angered by business that is conducted by a lot of churches? After many years of not attending church, I feel as if I am expecting too much, that I am judging churches too harshly, that I may be expecting something that I'm not going to get. Or am I right, and my depression over the current state of a lot of churches is causing me to waver?
Now, to those who may ask, I expect a church to follow the word of God and not draw their own conclusions about certain matters (such as the aforementioned scripture). I expect to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit within the physical house and be awakened through my own spirit as I am fed the word of God. My own confusion comes from the above mentioned personality trait which is concentrating on the negative (and Dear Father, please help me). But, I don't want to brush things to the side. I just want to see God everywhere in the one place that He should exist throughout.
I'd really appreciate feedback.