The boyfriend weave lecture...

SummerSolstice · Jul 24, 2012

So... I just got sat down by my boyfriend last night...

Most people who know me know I sell hair, and wear weaves and wigs a lot.

So yesterday he was like babe...
I love you... you're beautiful.
Can you please stop wearing wigs... :tantrum:

for me... they are ugly.

And plus it will save us money. :ohwell:

I was like :look:

Then I started shaking like a crack addict...

Then I started thinking about how my length is nowhere near what it needs to be... how my buns aren't big enough...

Now I don't know how to feel... :skitzo:

Then I thought about it and I'm sick of all the work that it takes to do a different sew in once a month and now I LOVE touching my own hair...

So now I'm contemplating putting my hair collection on sale

But I am scared! I love the feeling of taking down my braids after 3 months and seeing the length. I love looking like Chakha. I love being a different person sometimes. PLUS I HAVEN'T REACHED MY LENGTH GOAL!!!! :blush:

ok tis all... stop looking at me like that :look:

MrsJaiDiva · Jul 24, 2012

Compromise? Let your hair out one month, and then weave and wig the next? He can't just expect you to go cold turkey! :lol:

kinkycurlygurl · Jul 24, 2012

I think your BF gave you high praise. He said you are beautiful exactly as you are. That's so romantic.

SummerSolstice · Jul 24, 2012

kinkycurlygurl said:
I think your BF gave you high praise. He said you are beautiful exactly as you are. That's so romantic.

I know I was teary about it in the car this morning :ohwell:

Its so annoying tho I hate that I'm having this battle with my hair, between him and my job and trying not to use heat...

When I wore my fro to work once I got some weird comments and that was it for me. Its been in a bun since that day... unless of course I have a weave in. Then I wear it down and I get the compliments from my coworkers

Its been a LOOOONG struggle with this... I initially got weaves because of the protective styling and I hated the way my face looked with short hair (it was much bigger before I lost weight)...

So I'm thinking what am I dealing with? Insecurity? Addiction? I used to clown people so bad who were weavaholics and now look at me :nono:

I thought about it and I'm like... will I be able to let the hair go when I do reach my length goals or will I still be looking for texture after texture trying to find the perfect look :ohwell:

bellebebe · Jul 24, 2012

I think you should explain to him why you do wear weaves. If there is a way that you could both be happy, it would be the biznazzz!

AnjelLuvs · Jul 24, 2012

Is this going to be your husband?! erplexed How did he meet you? I mean wear you wigged up... Lol

SummerSolstice · Jul 24, 2012

AnjelLuvsUBabe said:
Is this going to be your husband?! erplexed How did he meet you? I mean wear you wigged up... Lol

AnjelLuvsUBabe husband... yes
and he's known me since I was born and we were last closest when I was highschool... I was inbetween MBL and WL back then :ohwell:

kandake · Jul 24, 2012

Is it that he doesn't like weaves period? Or is that he doesn't like the styles you wear? Maybe he doesn't like the Chaka thing but would go for something a little more subdued. That way you can still wear your weaves until your hair grows out a bit more.

cbanks67 · Jul 24, 2012

Well, I guess the man knows what he likes and he like the natural you...aww... You can also try pin-up styles or a curly puff until your hair gets a little longer.

SummerSolstice · Jul 24, 2012

kandake said:
Is it that he doesn't like weaves period? Or is that he doesn't like the styles you wear? Maybe he doesn't like the Chaka thing but would go for something a little more subdued. That way you can still wear your weaves until your hair grows out a bit more.

kandake... see my avi? He thought that hair was so cute until I took it off when we got off work :lol:

. He was like awww its not urs I hate it!

SummerSolstice · Jul 24, 2012

cbanks67 said:
Well, I guess the man knows what he likes and he like the natural you...aww... You can also try pin-up styles or a curly puff until your hair gets a little longer.

cbanks67 i usually just wear my fro on the weekend, but I just feel like when I pull my hair back my face is on blast. I guess i need to get over it

PS... I'm glad all of you are entertaining my foolishness... I knew I could count on LHCF :lol:

kandake · Jul 24, 2012

SummerSolstice said:
@kandake... see my avi? He thought that hair was so cute until I took it off when we got off work . He was like awww its not urs I hate it!

Oh I see. He doesn't like the idea of wigs. I guess you got his hopes up and he was let down. :lol:

I don't know what to tell ya. But I hope it works out. I'm sure y'all will find a solution.

RegaLady · Jul 24, 2012

Whats wrong with your own hair again? I don't think there is anything wrong with it as I think you just need to change your perception about your own hair. Wear that bun until it gets fat enough. :spinning:

You are lucky because there are lots of women out there whose SOs don't care for them to wear their own natural hair. You have one. Another solution could be to rotate. Your hair, weave, your hair, weave. Compromise.

lux10023 · Jul 24, 2012

honestly--if he sat you down it sounds like its significant to him--i would rock my own hair for awhileeeee---the wigsss..and weavess and you sell hair---maybe overoad for him

i am a lf wearer but i know dh loves to see my own hair so i make sure he does ya know...because i take his opinion and wants seriously so...will i throw on a lf her and there yes--but do i rock them 24/7 365 now i dont anymore

SummerSolstice · Jul 24, 2012

RegaLady said:
Whats wrong with your own hair again? I don't think there is anything wrong with it as I think you just need to change your perception about your own hair. Wear that bun until it gets fat enough.

You are lucky because there are lots of women out there whose SOs don't care for them to wear their own natural hair. You have one. Another solution could be to rotate. Your hair, weave, your hair, weave. Compromise.

Its really uneven right now and I was trying to wait to cut it until it was past my length goal, but I'm probably just gonna do it this weekend. I just need to get over this I guess.

SummerSolstice · Jul 24, 2012

perfect28 said:
honestly--if he sat you down it sounds like its significant to him--i would rock my own hair for awhileeeee---the wigsss..and weavess and you sell hair---maybe overoad for him

i am a lf wearer but i know dh loves to see my own hair so i make sure he does ya know...because i take his opinion and wants seriously so...will i throw on a lf her and there yes--but do i rock them 24/7 365 now i dont anymore

on top of that he was like... its like a drug dealer smoking their own crack... this year when I started with no heat, that was the reason why I planned on stopping the weaves but I started getting some really REALLY hawt wigs and I couldn't resist :lol:

dyh080 · Jul 24, 2012

He sounds like a good guy.

vmerie · Jul 24, 2012

Tough one. It's great that he can be honest with you but I say do what makes you feel beautiful. I don't see nothing wrong with the wig in your avatar. It's pretty. I guess he doesn't like the deceit? When he stated that he wants you to STOP wearing them that is where I draw the line. A man is not going to tell me what to do. If you feel the relationship is worth it then best thing to do is sit down with him and come to some compromise. For me it's just not that serious.

stephshe · Jul 24, 2012

Try explaining to him that you wearing wigs is helping you to get to where you want to be growth-wise. Let him know that eventually you will be wearing your natural hair more often once you get to the length that you are comfortable with. Maybe a few weekends a month take your wig off and wear your natural hair for him(if you're comfortable of course).

I'm sooo glad that my bf doesn't care either way. I told him from the beginning that I wore wigs, clip ins and also my natural hair and he was fine with it. I recently told him that I cut my hair down to about 3" because I wanted to go natural and he told me that he though it would look great on me. I love the fact that i don't have to worry about that part of it. I do plan on wearing my hair out when its about bob length but I can never say that I just won't wear wigs at all after that. I like the fact of being able to change up my style.

westNDNbeauty · Jul 24, 2012

I've seen whats under that wig -- It's beautiful!

That's all I'm gonna say

cbanks67 · Jul 24, 2012

@ westNDNbeauty I just saw some of her pics and her hair is beautiful. Her boo is right.

diadall · Jul 24, 2012

If you want to wear them then wear them.

I have never worn weaves and wigs but I manage my own hair and my own ideal of beauty. None of my boyfriends have ever asked me to get a weave, actually they have all hated wigs and weaves.

I will do what I want with my hair. Its one thing I can control.

shelli4018 · Jul 24, 2012

I think it's nice of you to take his request seriously. With a little effort I'm sure you'll find a style that works for both of you. Question: does he make a distinction between weaves/wigs and braid extensions? Maybe it's just me...but braiding it up for summer seems way more acceptable than wigs. You hardly ever hear anyone complain about braids.

If he hates ALL fake hair then you might wanna experiment with twist outs, comb coils or stretched updos.

Southernbella. · Jul 24, 2012

Would you be cool with him wearing toupees? :look:

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF

cbanks67 · Jul 24, 2012

shelli4018 I love your blog!!

TamaraShaniece · Jul 24, 2012

Solution: put your hair for sale in the exchange forum and watever is left over, u can keep. Sounds like a win win for me.

BlackMasterPiece · Jul 24, 2012

Your bf sounds like a great guy. I think if he deemed it important enough to have a sit down conversation with you, it's important to him and it bothers him. I think more Black women need to actually listen to their partners on this issue. One thing that I've noticed is fairly universal to the male race is they love to run their hands through their woman's hair. It's a big part of feeling close and intimate with us and for many of them when they can't, it's a big drawback, it confuses them further when they see we have a head full of hair underneath to top it off. I think you should compromise and find a happy balance where both of you can feel content.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

vmerie · Jul 24, 2012

BlackMasterPiece said:
Your bf sounds like a great guy. I think if he deemed it important enough to have a sit down conversation with you, it's important to him and it bothers him. I think more Black women need to actually listen to their partners on this issue. One thing that I've noticed is fairly universal to the male race is they love to run their hands through their woman's hair. It's a big part of feeling close and intimate with us and for many of them when they can't, it's a big drawback, it confuses them further when they see we have a head full of hair underneath to top it off. I think you should compromise and find a happy balance where both of you can feel content.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

BlackMasterPieceWhat about ladies who wear their hair natural? I can't run my fingers through my hair. Where does that leave us? :ohwell:

Not sure where you got that stat from.

Kurlee · Jul 24, 2012

i don't understand all of this. i wear my hair how i want. Period. BM be doing too much. I think it's controlling.

southerncitygirl · Jul 24, 2012

SummerSolstice

i bet he likes beyonce, gabrielle union and all these black female celebrities that men drool over..they have weaves,wigs, weaves, hair pieces :look:

as a sidenote i'm natural and i don't like men to mess with my hair unless they intend to give a a scalp massage with natural oils or wash-condish-detangle-and twist my hair with loving care :look:

it seems to me that if he never knew they were adds-ons he would be just fine with it. there will be tons of things you won't like about each other (especially when you get married ), but does that mean that they all need to be changed? yes we are works in progress but the true embodiment of unconditional love is loving someone for all that they are/aren't just some food for thought....if you aren't comfy wearing your own hair yet, it will be obvious and take away from your pretty, girlie. tell him why you wear the wigs and pictures of the length you are trying to achieve. :yep:

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