The Natural Hair Stylist Didn't Detangle Slowly And . . .

I normally don't go to the salon. I normally do my hair myself. My 4oth birthday is tomorrow, so I went in to get my hair done for my birthday.

The natural hair stylist didn't detangle my hair slowly and carefully like I do at home. She took a super wide-toothed comb and detangled quickly/briskly.

When she was done, there was a ball of hair about half the size of my palm on the floor.

I asked her, "Was my hair very tangled? How much hair did I lose?"

She said, "Yes it was, but it's okay. I detangled it. That's what I'm here for. You only lost that amount there on the floor. That's normal."

"Is it?!?? Is it?!??" I wanted to ask. Instead I kept my mouth closed and thought to myself, "Guess I need to detangle before coming to the salon!"

MY QUESTIONS TO YOU ALL
Anyone else had this same experience? If so, what do you do, if anything? Is that amount of hair loss normal? (I know that you don't know precisely how much it was.)

Those of you naturals who go in to the salon every now and then, do you detangle your own hair before going in? Should I just expect to detangle my own hair before going in?

I can't IMAGINE losing that much hair on the regular. Maybe I'm over-reacting and that amount of hair loss is indeed normal???

The first thing I would have done is stop her when she was detangling roughly and quickly. I've learned my lesson the hard way about letting stylists do what they want to my head and not saying a peep. Been there done that and won't do it again.

If you want you can detangle first but don't they usually wash you and end up having to detangle anyway? If I'm paying my money they are going to do it right...and gently.

When I was relaxed and going to the stylist I always took my wide tooth comb with me and tell her to be gentle when detangling my hair. You have to speak up. If I ever go as a natural I would do the same but I'm staying away from heat for a year.

KammyGirl said:

The first thing I would have done is stop her when she was detangling roughly and quickly. I've learned my lesson the hard way about letting stylists do what they want to my head and not saying a peep. Been there done that and won't do it again.

If you want you can detangle first but don't they usually wash you and end up having to detangle anyway? If I'm paying my money they are going to do it right...and gently.

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I will threaten someone in a minute about my hair but it was normally my god sister doing my hair when she was a stylist.

Reason no 1267446789942 why I do my own. Speak up next time. It's your head.

Would not have been me.

As a slow grower, I can't afford to have two years worth of setbacks in one sitting. Aside from a horrible phase when I was shedding a lot of hair due to medical reasons, I never lose that much when detangling and I hardly have breakage these days.

She was not careful with your hair. I agree with @Amethyst67, I would have brought my own wide tooth, seamless comb.

Yeah that's why I just do my own hair. Every stylist acts as if they're mad when combing my hair. Then they comment on how thick it is.

I had one very good hair dresser. She was old enough to be my grandma. She was all about healthy hair but she's retired now. These new school stylists just want to get as many heads done as fast as they can so they aren't going to take their time.

Sorry this happened to you @mysblossom. If you ever have a problem with how someone is doing your hair you should definitely speak up. I am not happy with my natural hair salon, but not because of ruff treatment. They are actually very gentle. They just can't seem to style my hair the way I want. I only let them color, trim, and deep condition me. I style myself.

Thanks, all.

What's sad is:

• This was my second visit. The first visit, she did an AMAZING job and a had very little hair loss.
• I had no idea she was collecting hair in her palm as she was combing my hair. I was SHOCKED when she tossed that ball on the floor.

I really, really love her as a person, and otherwise she did a good job. I've gotten really nice compliments about my hair.

I think what I'll do is try her one more time, but this time before going in and right before she starts I'll discuss the detangling thing. And if she starts in with the brisk detangling again, I'll just have to leave.

Wow. Thanks for the feedback. I had seen ladies on YouTube with that much hair in their palm after detangling, but I've never had it. I just go very slowly, detangle section by section, and lose very, very few hairs.

I wonder how much a setback I've incurred. My hairstyle is now stretched and I usually wear my own wash 'n go, so I can't really tell.

LESSON LEARNED.

Lynnerie said:

Every stylist acts as if they're mad when combing my hair. Then they comment on how thick it is.

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When people say/do this I'm like WTF did you become a hair dresser for? Do you only want to do medium density/wispy hair that is already detangled? Why don't you go to a different salon that caters to.... a specific clientele so then you don't have to deal with thick hair? Sometimes I really think they're just angry because that's more healthy hair than they've probably ever had....

When I detangle my own hair after washing I probably lose that much, but I know that I'm just not patient enough to go as slowl as required to minimize loss. So far I haven't noticed that my hair is thinning so I don't worry about it.

Since I don't have enough patience to treat my own hair super gently, I don't complain when my stylist detangles the same way I do. But if I were good about detangling gently, I would ask my stylist to do the same.

If you're not in the mood with going back and forth with her about detangling gently. A quick trick is to yell out and say you're tender headed

LiftedUp said:

If you're not in the mood with going back and forth with her about detangling gently. A quick trick is to yell out loud "OUCH" and say you're tender headed

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... so other customers can hear you. Other customers will start their appointment off "with be careful ... I'm a li'l tender headed too". She will get the message if you and enough customers do this.

I had a natural hair stylist do that to me --- ONCE - never been back to her chair or that salon! Stylists "say" they are natural hair care stylists because that's the "new thing" but in reality - many don't have a clue as to what it really means. Some even believe it simply means they style black women's hair.

Ladies,

I say this all the time. It's your dime and you're buying, you ain't begging. So speak up immediately if something happens you do not like or are uncomfortable about.

I have told stylists to give me the comb and I will detangle my hair if they are too rough. I will not be turned away from the mirror for any reason. I put my foot down so they can't turn the chair. Shampoo my hair and scalp with the pads of your fingers and not your nails. Catch my drift?

Stylists are professionals who preform a service for which they are paid. If something happens that you have an issue with say so. He/she is not in control. You are. It's your hair, time and money.

That may be her normal since she's not a gentle detangler

As was said before, this is why i do my own hair. I hate for the stylist to tell me about how shes knows what shes doing, and im tellg her i have a prob w what shes doing

How long does it take you to detangle yourself? If not too long, I'd do it myself before going.