Haircriticisms

K

kim1006

Well-Known Member
Let me start off by saying, I LOVE my transitioning hair in braidouts, high buns and top nots. Years ago when I was fully relaxed, I went to the salon and paid a LOT of money for braidouts that NEVER gave me the results I was seeking because my hair never fully dried before the stylist could remove the braids.

Fast forward to now, I get them
done by my dear DD for free. I usually sleep in them and sat under my Pibbs hair dryer to ensure they are dried fully. However, my husband and mother hate my hair in this style and neither one of them has any issues letting me know. My husband says my hair looks like a jeri curl weave, he hates both and would rather I left it braided.

My mother, on the other hand, likes seeing the length of my hair and does not like any of these styles. She also hates my hair in buns and top nots for the same reason although both look better on my face.

With that being said, I love all of these low maintenance hair styles, which I will keep wearing.

What hairstyles do your family members try to discourage you from wearing and why?
 
von rose

von rose

Active Member
my face noticeably glazes over and I respond with off-topic irrelevant responses when someone tries to tell me (an adult) about my hair. Yes this is with my mother as well. My bf (1b/c hair) is fascinated with afro hair and never has negative things to say thank goodness of there'd be turmoil in our apartment
 
Anaisin

Anaisin

Well-Known Member
theRaven said:
My grandma hates my wash n gos... I told her I hate her wigs...
Click to expand...

 
D

DST1913

Well-Known Member
kim1006 said:
Let me start off by saying, I LOVE my transitioning hair in braidouts, high buns and top nots. Years ago when I was fully relaxed, I went to the salon and paid a LOT of money for braidouts that NEVER gave me the results I was seeking because my hair never fully dried before the stylist could remove the braids.

Fast forward to now, I get them
done by my dear DD for free. I usually sleep in them and sat under my Pibbs hair dryer to ensure they are dried fully. However, my husband and mother hate my hair in this style and neither one of them has any issues letting me know. My husband says my hair looks like a jeri curl weave, he hates both and would rather I left it braided.

My mother, on the other hand, likes seeing the length of my hair and does not like any of these styles. She also hates my hair in buns and top nots for the same reason although both look better on my face.

With that being said, I love all of these low maintenance hair styles, which I will keep wearing.

What hairstyles do your family members try to discourage you from wearing and why?
Click to expand...
My bf hates I mean hates high buns. He says I look like I have a yellow bird in a cage (aka tweety birds owner) It doesnt help that a few months ago the episode of King of Queens came on where Doug hated Carries bun. Hilarious ep but he saw it and was like see men don't like buns. I love the way I look in a bun and get lots of compliments. I still wear them. I do try to compromise though. There's plenty of things our men did and we told them we didn't like it and they stopped, so for me I found wearing a low bun instead of a high one is a lil better to him. I wear high buns when he's not around.

Does your DD think it looks nice? Do you receive compliments. I find that sometimes what we think looks good actually may not, so I dont do the blanket "F you I do what I want" cuz I also dont want my friends and family to let me walk around looking crazy. If we are all honest sometimes that hairstyle or outfit really wasnt as cute as we thought. Lol
 
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Bunnyhaslonghair

Bunnyhaslonghair

Ebonics Queen
Yes! It's that old school thinking imo. Certain people are stuck in their ways when it comes to hair style. I get way more compliments from strangers regarding my natural hair than from my dad's side of my family. They have a lightskin/loose hair complex going on so no matter what style, it's the nappyiness they don't like. They just have to deal because my texture ain't goin no where. If I listened to them only then I would think my hair was ugly! *smacks teeth*
 
K

kim1006

Well-Known Member
DST1913 said:
My bf hates I mean hates high buns. He says I look like I have a yellow bird in a cage (aka tweety birds owner) It doesnt help that a few months ago the episode of King of Queens came on where Doug hated Carries bun. Hilarious ep but he saw it and was like see men don't like buns. I love the way I look in a bun and get lots of compliments. I still wear them. I do try to compromise though. There's plenty of things our men did and we told them we didn't like it and they stopped, so for me I found wearing a low bun instead of a high one is a lil better to him. I wear high buns when he's not around.

Does your DD think it looks nice? Do you receive compliments. I find that sometimes what we think looks good actually may not, so I dont do the blanket "F you I do what I want" cuz I also dont want my friends and family to let me walk around looking crazy. If we are all honest sometimes that hairstyle or outfit really wasnt as cute as we thought. Lol
Click to expand...

Yes and Yes. When I wear my hair in a high bun, folks behave as if they have never met before - it completely transforms how my face looks. I believe it makes my face look more symmetrical. Most people are overly complimentary about my features and how great I look with my hair up - males, females, blacks, whites, you name it - ALMOST EVERYONE! I also get tons of compliments on my braid outs. Most people mistake them for wash and gos.
 
SmilingElephant

SmilingElephant

Well-Known Member
kim1006 said:
:drunk:
Click to expand...

Imma be honest...I used to care about how I looked around ppl. I feel like maybe I've seen a lot of ugly inside some well dressed and styled people and that gig just isn't for me anymore.

I have family members who wish I would just wear my hair straight. Well guess what fam? I feel more like myself when it's curly.

I just have a new spirit of not caring about that type of thing anymore. I prayed to have peace and authenticity in my life and that's where I'm at now.

Now, that's not saying I won't dress up or do something special for my SO. I'll do that...but I don't believe in being ordered around anymore...those subliminal orders lol.
 
Sharpened

Sharpened

A fleck on His Sword
Yeah, I got some shade thrown at me in the early days, mainly because I did nothing to my hair, a true wash and go, no styling whatsoever. When the coils started popping, the negativity stopped and the complements rolled in.

DH has only made one negative comment in 20 years. When he does not like what I had done, he says nothing out of fear of discouraging me. He really dreads the thought of me buzzing my hair off again.:giggle:
 
Alta Angel

Alta Angel

Well-Known Member
Off topic: My own children and my students love when I say that! They always ask, "Who is John?"

On topic: I have shared on this board a million times how much my mother criticized my hair when I was newly natural. I never wore my hair in "out" styles for fear that it would look like an Afro or wild and unkempt. I wore so many buns that when my daughters' drew pictures of me, they drew a circle on top of my head to represent a bun! One day I got up the courage to wear my hair out and my DH and kids loved it. I debuted this hairstyle the day we went to pick my mom up from the airport. She was being wheeled by the airport attendant. When she saw me, she said at the top of her lungs, "Look at my daughter with that AFRO! She had such long, pretty hair but she would rather wear her hair in a nappy Afro!!" I didn't understand because she wore an Afro in the 70's. I was so hurt, angry,and embarrassed that I could barely speak. It took a LONG time for me to get over it. However, I decided on that day that no one would ever make me feel some kind of way about my hair ever again. I continued experimenting with styles and learned what worked for me. Most importantly, I love my hair whether its out, in twists, in updos or puffs.

OP, do you. You will never please anyone but yourself.


shasha8685 said:
My family doesn't discourage me from any hairstyle....as long as I'm not looking like who shot John they don't say much.

But even if they did.......

Ion't care. It's my hair and I will wear it any way that I choose to.
Click to expand...
 
Colocha

Colocha

acne cream and afro dreams
My family was really silent about my hair until I got some length. Then the compliments started rolling in and the requests for hair advice.

The only outright criticism I got was when my hair was a lot shorter. My twists were ear to neck length I think. This Asian girl said she hated my hair because it looked like snakes, lmao. We were pretty good friends and I didn't care too much.
 
K

kim1006

Well-Known Member
Alta Angel said:
Off topic: My own children and my students love when I say that! They always ask, "Who is John?"

On topic: I have shared on this board a million times how much my mother criticized my hair when I was newly natural. I never wore my hair in "out" styles for fear that it would look like an Afro or wild and unkempt. I wore so many buns that when my daughters' drew pictures of me, they drew a circle on top of my head to represent a bun! One day I got up the courage to wear my hair out and my DH and kids loved it. I debuted this hairstyle the day we went to pick my mom up from the airport. She was being wheeled by the airport attendant. When she saw me, she said at the top of her lungs, "Look at my daughter with that AFRO! She had such long, pretty hair but she would rather wear her hair in a nappy Afro!!" I didn't understand because she wore an Afro in the 70's. I was so hurt, angry,and embarrassed that I could barely speak. It took a LONG time for me to get over it. However, I decided on that day that no one would ever make me feel some kind of way about my hair ever again. I continued experimenting with styles and learned what worked for me. Most importantly, I love my hair whether its out, in twists, in updos or puffs.

OP, do you. You will never please anyone but yourself.
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing.

While the opinions about my hair sometimes irritate me, especially coming from my mother - I think it is her look and tone - I really do not care. Last year, when my hair was damaged at the salon and I had to have a good bit cut off, my husband would not comment on my hair but now with my length growing back, he is offering his opinions again.
 
E

Evolving78

Well-Known Member
SmilingElephant said:
I don't give a f@/k what anybody likes or dislikes on me.

I wasn't born to be a decoration.

And that's all I got to say about that.
Click to expand...
This is the attitude you should have. They have an issue with your natural hair texture. It doesn't matter how you style your hair. They are very uncomfortable with you choosing display your natural texture. It's one thing if they style is just ugly and you are unwilling to accept that.

I have cut my hair into a fade, Mohawk, etc.. I have been called a lot of things for that, but my confidence outshined that.

The black community still has a long way to go when it comes to embracing our natural texture, and allowing others to choose between straighten, or textured hair. New naturals behave like born again Christians and wanna save everybody's souls from the creamy crack.. old relaxed heads won't embrace looking ethic. They don't see it as looking polished.

We just gotta be confident in the hair choices we make for ourselves. As long as it looks good, do you!
If it looks jacked up, change it.
 
D

Daina

Well-Known Member
All of the styles you mention above get comments from the peanut gallery...I could care less. The ONLY person I will make a concession for on occasion is my husband because I believe to a certain degree I should consider his input. BUT by concession I mean I straighten my hair 3-4 times per year instead of weekly which is what he would prefer. He hates bun and thinks curly hair is unruly but he has learned to adapt. The only place he drew the line on was wigs and weaves but I've never been a fan of either for me anyway. I don't give two hoots what other folks feel or say!
 
D

Daina

Well-Known Member
theRaven said:
My grandma hates my wash n gos... I told her I hate her wigs...
Click to expand...

This is me all day, I would do the same thing which is why folks outside my husband have learned to say nothing and keep it moving!:lachen:I really give an eye roll to folks with 2 dry rice chips for hair and they trying to give hair advice...yeah no have a seat.:confused:
 
M

Misseyl

Well-Known Member
I'm black therefore my hair is what it is. I dare anyone criticize my natural hair. The closest someone came to criticizing it was when a child asked whether I was a man or woman or someone will say the prefer my relaxed hair but away from that, I don't ask anyone about what they do with their hair so they shouldn't ask me about mine.:afro:
 
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