All this Hair Talk..But no one seems to acknowledge...

[Stepiphanie]

Ok ladies, so in last few weeks we've been bombarded with all of this black hair talk in the mainstream media, from daytime to nightime TV, and back on here it's been discussed ad nauseam. I've seen people discuss the light hearted silly side of it, as well as some of the deeper psychological issues that black women have with their hair and overall appearance. However, not once have I seen anyone acknowledge that black women, both relaxed and natural can have long hair!!

I know, I know most people IRL think that it's somehow how impossible for us to have long hair but I was hoping, that somehow there would be people representing for long haired ladies, but nope!! The person with the longest hair in all the discussions was Oprah and Chris Rock made the comment "now that's rich" implicating some how that the only way that the only possible way that a black woman can obtain beautiful, lush hair is to be "rich" or be under the care of a daily stylist (even Oprah implicated that on her show yesterday). I was watching Our World with Ed Gordon earlier this morning, and I thought surely I would be more satisfied with the discussion they had since he usually features scholars and well read people. Ehh…wrong! They had some good points, but in the end I still felt dissatisfied. One of the women, who was a prominent black psychiatrist spoke about weaves and mentioned that the reason black women (even children) wore weave is the desire to have long flowy hair. While that's true to a certain degree, what about the fact that black women have done so much damage to their hair, and have just bought into this crazy notion that it can't grow; that many of them think a weave is the only option.

I'm a need these panels to be a little more diverse! Everyone that was wearing their real hair was either a short cropped relaxed head or rocking a twa. While that's cute and all, there has got to be a wider variety of black women wearing there real hair. Another thing, these damn celebrity guests... Oh lord!! They just need to stop! Ex: Melinda Williams (Soul Food) spoke about how she some how is making a difference by choosing not to wear a weave. Good for her! But do you know that this chick said " I choose to wear my hair in it's natural state, not that I'm not relaxing it or coloring it or whatever, but I'm wearing what grows out of my head" all in the same breath chile! I wanted to reach through the TV and smack her upside her not so "natural" head!!

So what do you ladies think? Have you noticed the same? Have these discussions helped or are they further perpetuating the miseducation of of the black woman in regards to hair? Are we gonna have to come out with our own movie to show that black hair can grow long? Lol

 

[reese77]

yes, we are going to have to come out with our own movie to show that WE can grow our hair long.

 

[Stacy TheLady]

Lets get our directors and start writing a script for the movie " Yes we can..Yes we can grow!"

The public is really being misled into thinking that AA women and Afro Caribbean women and all colored women can't grow their hair...

Knowledge is power...

 

[Ariana4000]

There has been absolutely no mention of HAIRCARE. Its sad that women in the audience had to touch Oprah's hair to believe it was real. I feel bad for so many black women and girls who do not know how to properly treat their hair. Weaves and braids should be an option and not your only method of doing your hair.

 

[Stepiphanie]

Bump Bump...

 

[hiphoprocker]

ITA with you stepiphanie on this one.. this is a big reason as to why i'm choosing to let my hair grow and to take care of it.. I for one do heart heart heart long hair, i can easily buy a weave and used to only wear weaves. it was a point where i would not leave the house if my weave wasnt in, by hook or crook. I've grown up since then and now use weaves as a tool (protective styling) to get my hair where i want it.. i only use half wigs now and have officially sworn of glue.. all types including my beloved lace wigs and the impossible to remove glue i used..

but i also feel that society as a whole feels that we cant grow our hair past shoulder length and its become my personal mission to prove them wrong.. i've even heard its genetically impossible There are too many ladies that have done the "impossible" already on this site..

i think that young girls walk into a beauty supply store and see miles and miles of weaves (once was me) and get turned out at an early age into believing that that is the only way for your hair to look good. that you have to glue in these here tracks to ever have hair going down your back and its ridiculous.. here in chicago, my two closest beauty supply stores have walls and walls of tracks on display, they have TV's with videos on of women getting weaves put in and show casing the latest "breakthrough" in weave technology. its crazy.. but you have to stalk the aisles for an hour to find a good con. its ridiculous.. how about video of a woman getting a good deep conditioning and showcasing the latest breakthroughs in leave ins?? the money isnt in the $5 con, its in the $40 bag of hair..

and those same young girls grow into women still believing the hype until they come across this site and its like a light switches on like wait, if she can do it, so can i, and i for one have a goal to do the "impossible"

and then in the faces of all the chris rocks of the world...

 

[DDTexlaxed]

It seems like this issue will never be acknowledged. You get get asked what you mixed with? Just foolishness. Don't look to others to acknowledge your hair. Most times you will be disappointed. People are going to think what they want, anyway.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I think the word doesn't get spread enough because of the 'intimidation factor'.

You think it would be as simple as someone coming up to you and asking how you grew your hair. That rarely happens because when a black woman sees another black women with her own long hair, she assumes that the woman must have something 'special'. The woman must have good genes or something. She thinks if she goes up and asks the woman, the woman will 'pity' her in a sense. At least that's how I felt. I knew a few black women with long hair back in the day, and I never asked them how they grew their hair. I just assumed they were lucky and I wasn't. I assumed whatever they did to their hair wouldn't work for me because I didn't have the 'genes' to pull it off.

Now being on the other side, I don't know how to share my knowledge in the real world. For example, I went to visit a friend of mine and her roommate was raving over my hair. Her own hair was short and broken off. I want to educate her, but I don't know how. If I go about it the wrong way, she might take it as an insult. Next time I see her, I'll try to find a way to get on that subject.

If Oprah really cares, maybe one day she'll have her stylist share important hair tips for black women. Hell get Wanakee or Cathy Howse on the show.

 

[jamaraa]

I think the word doesn't get spread enough because of the 'intimidation factor'.

You think it would be as simple as someone coming up to you and asking how you grew your hair. That rarely happens because when a black woman sees another black women with her own long hair, she assumes that the woman must have something 'special'. The woman must have good genes or something. She thinks if she goes up and asks the woman, the woman will 'pity' her in a sense. At least that's how I felt. I knew a few black women with long hair back in the day, and I never asked them how they grew their hair. I just assumed they were lucky and I wasn't. I assumed whatever they did to their hair wouldn't work for me because I didn't have the 'genes' to pull it off.

Now being on the other side, I don't know how to share my knowledge in the real world. For example, I went to visit a friend of mine and her roommate was raving over my hair. Her own hair was short and broken off. I want to educate her, but I don't know how. If I go about it the wrong way, she might take it as an insult. Next time I see her, I'll try to find a way to get on that subject.

If Oprah really cares, maybe one day she'll have her stylist share important hair tips for black women. Hell get Wanakee or Cathy Howse on the show.

Oprah's had Andre on the show. He's the one that gave us all this 4b 3cab87 stuff in his book way back when. Besides, everyone is different. What worked for her won't work for everyone. There is no one rule book to follow. People have to get to learn their own hair.

Bolded....yes, this is not something you just can causally bring up in convos. Unless someone asks you, they'll take offered advice as criticism.

 

[jamaraa]

OP this has been discussed ad nauseum here and on other hairboards. I don't know what folks are seeking and why it's so important that we must PROVE that we can grow LONG hair. Too many seem far too desparate to prove this. This desparation is not healthy, IMHO.

No, a film like this will not further knowledge about hair care nor will it produce much positive motivation because it's merely repeating the same old chestnuts. The women are not helpless tho, they can get on the net and find the info they seek IF they actually seek it. People don't benefit from being spoon fed either.

If long hair is so important to a woman, she can easily find out how to optimize her chances of success. There are all sorts of hair boards aimed at women of African descent and YT vids. They can get the info if they want it.

 

[Stepiphanie]

Great comments ladies.While I agree that most women are not helpless and they could get up and go on the net and yt to find the right info. But I believe there is so much of the wrong info out there starting from our families, friends , stylists, magazines etc that they can't help but believe it.Why go on the net when you think you've already got the info. I don't know abt ya'll but most people I know are not aware of the online hair community. I share info when am asked or when I think a friend could use it. I'm not by any means desperate to prove anything about anyone's hair except for mine. But I do find it sad and slightly annoying that most of the info outside of the hair boards is the wrong info, and would like to see a more BALANCED view of all the things our hair could be.

 

[30something]

Oh, I have notice this for a long time
I think the world is secretly happier if black people are portrayed in some way as inferior. Everyone wants to talk about the 20% of black men who have criminal records but what about the other %80 who don't!

 

[wontonfm]

OP this has been discussed ad nauseum here and on other hairboards. I don't know what folks are seeking and why it's so important that we must PROVE that we can grow LONG hair. Too many seem far too desparate to prove this. This desparation is not healthy, IMHO.

No, a film like this will not further knowledge about hair care nor will it produce much positive motivation because it's merely repeating the same old chestnuts. The women are not helpless tho, they can get on the net and find the info they seek IF they actually seek it. People don't benefit from being spoon fed either.

If long hair is so important to a woman, she can easily find out how to optimize her chances of success. There are all sorts of hair boards aimed at women of African descent and YT vids. They can get the info if they want it.

Good points here! Also like to add that most of the discussion around black woman's hair hasn't really been about the condition of the hair but more on styling and why people relax, wear weaves go natural etc. I don't think the argument has really been that black women do XYZ to their hair because their hair is unhealthy. If anything what has come up is the idea of protective styling as many black women featured owned up to the fact that they wear weaves, braids etc because using heat regularly is not healthy.

I'm almost starting to think that there has been TOO much talk in mainstream media about what black women do or don't do to their hair!

 

[jamaraa]

Great comments ladies.While I agree that most women are not helpless and they could get up and go on the net and yt to find the right info. But I believe there is so much of the wrong info out there starting from our families, friends , stylists, magazines etc that they can't help but believe it.Why go on the net when you think you've already got the info. I don't know abt ya'll but most people I know are not aware of the online hair community. I share info when am asked or when I think a friend could use it. I'm not by any means desperate to prove anything about anyone's hair except for mine. But I do find it sad and slightly annoying that most of the info outside of the hair boards is the wrong info, and would like to see a more BALANCED view of all the things our hair could be.

IMHO, there's really no such thing as "wrong info". What works for some won't for others. That's true here on the boards and in real life.

I can't understand why someone would think they have ALL the answers about anything, but a very basic search will bring up hair sites...even when you ain't interested! Many of these women are probably content w/ their hair, so if they are, why should they seek the info?

In the past 10-15 years, there's been plenty of books on alternative approaches to Black hair care in addition to sites like this, so the info IS out there. I'm just of the mindset that most people will go for the easiest route to something. None of these sites, books, etc...will fix a person's issues UNLESS they are willing to put in the work and pateince. Why do that when you can go to a beautician, get a weave, get braids, etc...and pay someone else to worry about them? Too many women have neither the time nor inclination to devote to much of their efforts on their hair...and it shows.

 

[jamaraa]

Good points here! Also like to add that most of the discussion around black woman's hair hasn't really been about the condition of the hair but more on styling and why people relax, wear weaves go natural etc. I don't think the argument has really been that black women do XYZ to their hair because their hair is unhealthy. If anything what has come up is the idea of protective styling as many black women featured owned up to the fact that they wear weaves, braids etc because using heat regularly is not healthy.

I'm almost starting to think that there has been TOO much talk in mainstream media about what black women do or don't do to their hair!

If there's any one problem about hair care wrt Blacks it's the emphasis on styles rather than health/condition. Whether your hair is relaxed or natural (or in between), long or short, you should know how to care for it. Don't get me started on weaves. How many women have them and have no clue as to the care for the weave itself and the hair underneath? Matted Hair City. Why are women losing their hair (usually edges) w/ wigs? They aren't learning how to care for it and don't seem too inclined to find out. It's a combo of being content and lazy. It's YOUR hair, no matter how much you pay someone to care for it, you gotta do some legwork.

Yup...way too much talk about BW's hair in the "general" public. Besides all these "exposes" have done nothing to improve the condition of many folks' hair, right? If you're gonna do something this mass media, why not do it where it's actually, uhhh, useful?!

 

[that_1_grrrl]

That could be true. I found the hair forums because I was unhappy with my natural hair. It is weird because I always wanted long hair, even when I was relaxed. However, once I went natural and fell in love with my hair, I wanted my natural hair to work. I did not want to fail at being a natural.

To me, a lot of these women probably don't care. As much as I hate to see it, if they've accepted the idea that Black women will never grow long hair, I don't think much will change that. I never accepted it growing up. I partially believed it, but a part of me always felt if I could find the answer, I could grow really long hair.

Hair is just not as important to some people as it is to others. I will never understand them, lol, but they're the majority.

IMHO, there's really no such thing as "wrong info". What works for some won't for others. That's true here on the boards and in real life.

I can't understand why someone would think they have ALL the answers about anything, but a very basic search will bring up hair sites...even when you ain't interested! Many of these women are probably content w/ their hair, so if they are, why should they seek the info?

In the past 10-15 years, there's been plenty of books on alternative approaches to Black hair care in addition to sites like this, so the info IS out there. I'm just of the mindset that most people will go for the easiest route to something. None of these sites, books, etc...will fix a person's issues UNLESS they are willing to put in the work and pateince. Why do that when you can go to a beautician, get a weave, get braids, etc...and pay someone else to worry about them? Too many women have neither the time nor inclination to devote to much of their efforts on their hair...and it shows.

 

[jamaraa]

That could be true. I found the hair forums because I was unhappy with my natural hair. It is weird because I always wanted long hair, even when I was relaxed. However, once I went natural and fell in love with my hair, I wanted my natural hair to work. I did not want to fail at being a natural.

To me, a lot of these women probably don't care. As much as I hate to see it, if they've accepted the idea that Black women will never grow long hair, I don't think much will change that. I never accepted it growing up. I partially believed it, but a part of me always felt if I could find the answer, I could grow really long hair.

Hair is just not as important to some people as it is to others. I will never understand them, lol, but they're the majority.

This is the key. How you think about yourself and your hair WILL affect your results even more than mere genetics. LOL...your genes dictate how much, how thick, how fast...but YOU decide to yank it out of you head w/ weave glue! Can't blame that on genes...blame that on lazy!

I've always known BW w/ long hair and know that many more BW can have it, if they will...natural or relaxed. It's all in how you treat it and value it.

You're hair is gonna be long cuz you have a very positive attitude and are willing to devote the care to it that it needs to thrive, so be prepared to spend more on conditioners! LOL

 

[that_1_grrrl]

Man, I knew this White girl who was going bald from wearing glue-in extensions all the time. When she told me she wore glue-ins, I said, "Oh, that's not good." She said, "Yeah, I know. I'm going bald because of them, but I can't stop."

Some people just have little to no respect for what they are working with. They rather go with what is cheap or what they think is better than to respect and take care of what they have.

This is the key. How you think about yourself and your hair WILL affect your results even more than mere genetics. LOL...your genes dictate how much, how thick, how fast...but YOU decide to yank it out of you head w/ weave glue! Can't blame that on genes...blame that on lazy!

I've always known BW w/ long hair and know that many more BW can have it, if they will...natural or relaxed. It's all in how you treat it and value it.

You're hair is gonna be long cuz you have a very positive attitude and are willing to devote the care to it that it needs to thrive, so be prepared to spend more on conditioners! LOL

 

[Mane Event]

Stepiphanie you took the words right out of my mouth...I was talking to my bff (a LHCF) about this issue the other day. I actually considered writing to Oprah, Tyra, Wendy, etc about LHCF, they're all missing a huge aspect of black hair - woman that actually have long textured hair with and without the "Creamy crack!"

LHCF is changing the lives of so many ppl including myself. It really deserves national attention!!!!

 

[jamaraa]

^^^ "Creamy crack"? Are you referring to relaxers? Well at least one of our longest haired members is relaxed and quite a few of them use heat to straighten. Should the idea be that you can ONLY grow long hair if you're natural? That alone would be a hard sell and frankly dishonest.

 

[jamaraa]

I've often wondered why anyone would put glue in their hair and think it wuold thrive?

 

[Stepiphanie]

You're definitely right about people who are not willing to even try to change their ways. I have a friend who wears weaves constantly, and has no edges... none! Her excuse for not wearing her own hair is bc it's thin and she has no edges.When I first started my hhj, I tried to put her on, and have her come on the boards but she didn't seem so interested, and I know for a fact that when I start wearing my hair out more, and she sees how much healthier it is she's gonna say it's bc I've always had nice hair. And yes this same person has argued with me that she can't have long hair and that even when she was younger, and her mom did blah blah it wouldn't grow. You just can't help some people I guess.

 

[Mane Event]

^^^ "Creamy crack"? Are you referring to relaxers? Well at least one of our longest haired members is relaxed and quite a few of them use heat to straighten. Should the idea be that you can ONLY grow long hair if you're natural? That alone would be a hard sell and frankly dishonest.

Yes, relaxers..that's what Chris Rock is calling it in his movie.

We're on the same page....I stated that black women could grow hair WITH & WITHOUT relaxers

 

[jamaraa]

I gotcha... This Chris Rock thing is sounding worse w/ every post! LOL

 

[CityGirl]

Let's face it, a lot of people who don't want to educate themselves on the proper way to care for their hair relaxed or natural, don't want to do so because it takes time, patience, and dedication. People want instant gratification so weaves are a good way to get long flowing hair instantly. Most of us know that growing our own hair longer takes time and patience and a lot of people just don't want to go that route.
It is a shame that this whole hair issue is only being dissected from a weave and relaxer perspective. I have relaxed hair. I relaxed my hair because I wanted it to be more manageable and I didn't want my life to revolve around the weather report and humidity. I have recently pondered going natural but in all honesty, I think FOR ME that would be much too difficult. So for now I will continue to relax, but I also know how to take care of my relaxed hair so that it doesn't look a hot mess. I didn't always know but I've at various times had long hair--even if it was damaged, I knew that I had the potential to have long hair. However now, I know what to do and what not to do with my hair. I know what works for me and what doesn't. But it took a lot of hits and misses before I got to this point.
I think most of us on this board are people who are willing to know more, learn more, and take action against things that we are not happy or comfortable with; be it hair or politics or whatever. We who now know can pass on this knowledge to our daughters, our nieces, sisters, etc. and maybe eventually movies like this one won't have to do the talking for us--especially when they aren't talking the right talk.
I haven't seen the movie (I had issues with it even from the trailer) but I will see it, and ironically I will see it with the women that I know who I have become friends with over 17 years from going to a hair salon that promotes healthy hair. We met at this salon and have become friends and sisters through our quest for healthy and fly hair. Some of us are natural, some of us wear weaves, some of us wear wigs, and some of us are relaxed but we are all believers in the health of our hair and our stylist helps us all achieve this on a regular basis. We will see the movie, go to dinner and talk about it like we always do when we go out and I'm sure there will be many opinions.
But we ladies on this board are bunch of smart savvy women who know what to do when we want to change something or make something better.

 

[jamaraa]

You're definitely right about people who are not willing to even try to change their ways. I have a friend who wears weaves constantly, and has no edges... none! Her excuse for not wearing her own hair is bc it's thin and she has no edges.When I first started my hhj, I tried to put her on, and have her come on the boards but she didn't seem so interested, and I know for a fact that when I start wearing my hair out more, and she sees how much healthier it is she's gonna say it's bc I've always had nice hair. And yes this same person has argued with me that she can't have long hair and that even when she was younger, and her mom did blah blah it wouldn't grow. You just can't help some people I guess.

Now how are you NOT gonna have edges and think that's cool? Healthy human hair has edges (kitchens are WHOLE other subject! LOL) around your face. I mean what's the thought process I keeping up something that makes your face look weird? If I saw that on my head I'd be like nono:

Yeah, I understand your frustration Steph, but maybe she'll be inspired by you. Seriously, maybe she will seeing the process in action.