Ballroom Dancing

[mensa]

Our church is offering ballroom dancing classes for $5.00 a week. The trainer is touting it as great for exercise. I do not feel comfortable with men and women doing this at our church and I am even more uncomfortable with our pastor and his wife participating.

I have not attended, but I knew he was there because he mentioned it from the pulpit as a fund raising event. He wanted us to know that we do not have a square pastor and that we should know how to have fun.erplexed

Whats worse is that the lady teaching the class is fat, terribly out of shape and man hungry.

 

[Shimmie]

Our church is offering ballroom dancing classes for $5.00 a week. The trainer is touting it as great for exercise. I do not feel comfortable with men and women doing this at our church and I am even more uncomfortable with our pastor and his wife participating.

I have not attended, but I knew he was there because he mentioned it from the pulpit as a fund raising event. He wanted us to know that we do not have a square pastor and that we should know how to have fun.erplexed

Whats worse is that the lady teaching the class is fat, terribly out of shape and man hungry.

Oh No, mensa.....

I.........can't.............breathe.................

 

[Shimmie]

mensa....

Talk to me. Tell me what makes you feel this way about Ballroom dancing. You have my PROMISE that there is no shade, nor any stones that will be thrown in your direction. I promise.

Talk to me.

 

[JaneBond007]

I think your overly critical opinion deserves more attention. If you don't feel comfortable, then don't attend. Life isn't about bible-thumping all day long.

 

[felic1]

Hi Guys! This is an interesting topic. Many saints have taken up this activity. A lack of activity is common to us. I think it would behoove us to have more physical exercise. Many of us are reluctant to move to this music. Other's do not wish to practice this because it requires close physical encounters or contact with the opposite sex. I never was good with what our ethnic group called socialing. There are attendees who attend these events as dating opportunities. There are also classes on different types of stepping or hustle lessons. I think some of these do not require close body contact with the opposite sex. Some of these are done in a group format and do not require having male participation. Are there others with a non hostile opinion?

 

[Shimmie]

I think your overly critical opinion deserves more attention. If you don't feel comfortable, then don't attend. Life isn't about bible-thumping all day long.

I 'know' mensa 's heart and she's not Bible Thumping.

I honestly understand where she's coming from because of how the current trend of Ballroom Dancing has taken form. The skimpy and short costumes with pumped up cleavages, and all of the wiggle/ jiggles that are now representing the dance, is not for those who are modest. Being modest is not Bible Thumping.

And I am one who dances... my whole family does. I have the costumes, a closet full of beautiful ballroom gowns and Indian sari's that are radiant colours and lots of bling (swarovski crystals, rhinestones, pi'ettes, etc.

All of which to say, I understand how mensa feels. She can't help but see this as a blinged worldly activity.

I can say that not all Ballroom dancing is like the booty shaking, cleavage pumping, 'Dancing with the Stars'.

Instead, it is a beautiful art form of dancing that is so graceful and elegant and fluid which is why I fell in love with it. The waltz is one of my very favorites. The beautiful soft flow of the gowns and drapes of sheer overlays which flow with the air. The only thing you see is the beauty of the flowing gowns and the shimmer of 'diamonds' under the lights.

 

[JaneBond007]

Aside from Islam and Hasidim, I've never seen such fear of proximity to males...well, FEAR period, of just about everything. People can control themselves. Most illicit affairs don't begin with these activities...they are carried out by ministers and the like with the secretary, the treasurer etc.

Have other members expressed their opposition to ballroom dancing? Maybe they can try step or something like they do in Houston? Maybe if they do couples' dance, then true fiance's or marrieds? Well, if my opinion was seen as hostile, how do you view the last part of that OP? That's pretty hostile, imho, to accuse her of not only being man-hungry but fat. Maybe ballroom is going to get her in shape and a few of the other congregants? I fail to see how that was not a catty description of another woman in the church . Shrugs. You know me, I'm out-spoken so let me go back to the catholic side

 

[mensa]

Ms. Shimmie, you do know my heart and I am so grateful that you gently express your opinions without being harsh and critical. I am learning how to do that as I watch you on this forum.

It is just that the lady who brought the idea to our pastor loves to "partae" like it's 1999! She told us after a womens day meeting that she was going home and drink a whole bottle of wine by herself. She dresses very sexy and is always up in some mans face, especially married men. According to her, she has never married but has been engaged twice to much younger men and wants to get married to anybody, anytime at anyplace. Now what she does with her own personal time is her business, but she should keep it to herself AND STAY OFF FACEBOOK telling other things that she is into.

Since she behave like this and tells her business on Sundays, I cannot imagine what she is like at a ballroom dancing class. My spirit just feels so uneasy about this.

Jane007, you obviously disagree with me. That is your right. I must and will respect your decision. I pray your continued blessings in the Lord.

 

[JaneBond007]

Maybe give a background of evidence beforehand? Shrugs. Please don't pray for me, it's not necessary. If you took the "bible-thumping" comment hurtfully, my apologies. Maybe you should go apologize to that women for being equally harsh and critical? Maybe you and others should counter her offer with something like separated men/women physical health activities? That might be good. Man, I can't with this overly religious stuff. Just ignore me, it must be PMS time oy freaking vey.

ETA: I'm not in that lady's physical category, though, in case anyone is thinking I'm overreacting. I just find it stressful to keep reading all of these negatives in the CF about what seem to truly be minor things. We all have our days, I understand. But that's not gracious to that woman and she's not here to defend herself. And I realize I did have a certain parishioner that I sought advice about with a very serious issue against people's marriage, many of whom, my good friends, so I'm not trying to be a total hypocrite. Eh, deuces.

 

[mensa]

Jane, are you a born again Christian?

And as far as my description of this member, if she were slim, medium, skinny, or heavy and I described her as such, would you determine that a catty description of her?

My main issue seems to be that if the ballroom classes are so beneficial in weight loss and fitness, why is she at least 50-70 pounds over weight? I don't know how others feel and they don't know how I feel. I would not discuss this with any of them. That is why I came to this forum so that I could post my concerns anonymously.

Again, I will pray for you.

 

[JaneBond007]

Oh L-rd, here we go! Mensa, please turn your pray to yourself that you are more generous with others. Maybe that lady is lonely lol? Maybe she's looking for a husband? Maybe she just wants to be more involved in her church? Maybe she's not trying to get somebody's husband? Maybe she can offer ballroom dance to the church as a positive activity? I dunno. Yes, that was very catty. Be honest.

Abby Lee, honey! If that isn't evidence that very overweight people can teach dance. I wondered myself awhile back. OK, I'm not trying to get you to stop posting cuz you do have a need. Get some other people on-board to counter her offer with something better. I said "step" but I meant "line-dancing."

Is it wrong, though, for men and women to briefly touch each other, though?

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Ms. Shimmie, you do know my heart and I am so grateful that you gently express your opinions without being harsh and critical. I am learning how to do that as I watch you on this forum.

It is just that the lady who brought the idea to our pastor loves to "partae" like it's 1999! She told us after a womens day meeting that she was going home and drink a whole bottle of wine by herself. She dresses very sexy and is always up in some mans face, especially married men. According to her, she has never married but has been engaged twice to much younger men and wants to get married to anybody, anytime at anyplace. Now what she does with her own personal time is her business, but she should keep it to herself AND STAY OFF FACEBOOK telling other things that she is into.

Since she behave like this and tells her business on Sundays, I cannot imagine what she is like at a ballroom dancing class. My spirit just feels so uneasy about this.

Jane007, you obviously disagree with me. That is your right. I must and will respect your decision. I pray your continued blessings in the Lord.

Mensa, I understand what you are trying to convey... If this woman is doing these things, I wouldn't approve of her doing any type of class in the church...let alone dancing.

I would only say that there are people who struggle with their weight and to point out that she is 'fat', just seemed a little insensitive to some of the members that may be in that category right now.

You can pray for me...thank you!

ETA: Oh, to answer your question...I like Ballroom Dancing! I love the flowing of the dresses also, like Shimme mentioned. Makes me feel girlie!!!

 

[mensa]

You know, after I had posted it, I realized that I did come across as harsh and insensitive.

Lesson for me that I learned today is to not be offensive when describing someone and to consider their feelings.

I just asked the Lord to forgive me for my harsh description of this lady and now I ask that the forum members will forgive me too. It will not happen again.

Thanks Wavy for speaking words of wisdom to me.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

You know, after I had posted it, I realized that I did come across as harsh and insensitive.

Lesson for me that I learned today is to not be offensive when describing someone and to consider their feelings.

I just asked the Lord to forgive me to my harsh description of this lady and now I ask that the forum members will forgive me too. It will not happen again.

Thanks Wavy for speaking words of wisdom to me.

Of course I forgive you I know you didn't mean it in the way it came across.... Forgive me too, because sometimes.....girl, I can behave e-badly and need to check myself, which I really try to do daily...I really do...

Romans 8:1 -2
"There is therefore now no condemnation (guilt) to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made us free from the law of sin and death."

 

[felic1]

mensa... I have a comment. The lady trainer may be a good ballroom dancer. She may be able to train someone else in this form of activity. She may need this activity to do more of it and exercise. She also is interested in being outgoing in a Christian environment. I am sure that she knows that she need's to lose some weight. She may be friendly with others. Is she being misunderstood or characterized as someone after someone's husband? If she adamantly indicates that she wants to get married, then she wants her own husband. I do not know what may be on facebook. I stumble over indicating that a single woman wants someone's husband. It is not fair and is a form of ostracism. The pastor and his wife are going as a couple. As a matter of fact, people in the world are not often interested in church activities. Maybe someone outside of the church will want to attend.If the lady is not as strong as others in some areas, should we drive her from participating in activities or out of the local body? Is she new to the local church? She does not seem to be a threat to your marriage. JaneBond007...I was not calling your response hostile. I do believe that the biggest hostility is fat, out of shape and man hungry. She may want a man. Many women do. If she wants a husband of her own, she is on the right page. You do not want someone else's man indicating that you want to get married. She dresses very sexy. How old is she? Is she a young woman or having hot flashes? Does she own anything subdued? If someone's clothing is not appropriate, then offer to take her shopping. Nicely. The Lord told you to take her shopping and bless her with a dress. She tells her business on Sunday's. Why are you listening or participating in discussing this? Does she have one friend at your church? Maybe she needs you to become her friend. I am not trying to hijack the thread. I did see the OP asking to be forgiven.I forgive you. You sort of sound like you want to blackball this lady. Forgive me for saying it. If she leaves because of objections of this sort will she ever return? Whose hands will her blood be on? Do you believe that you will be protecting your husband from this lady by not going or discouraging participation? Sorry, is she drinking a whole bottle of wine alone after a women's day event because she is alone and no one will be her friend? Is that all she has to look forward to after an event with her sisters? Don't hold your skirt back after this type of statement. The saints of your church are failing to minister to her. Get her phone number. Is she coming to bible study? Ask her to lunch or something. We are able ministers of the new testament. Gift her with a YUMMY CD with a nice loving message or some out of sight music. Love her!!!!! You have almost indicated that this woman is the woman at the well. Jesus approached those despised by others first. She is a soul. Hopefully a won soul. Your church sounds kind of mean. Love ya.

 

[felic1]

.............................Let's try this again. Folks are home from work.

 

[Shimmie]

Of course I forgive you I know you didn't mean it in the way it came across.... Forgive me too, because sometimes.....girl, I can behave e-badly and need to check myself, which I really try to do daily...I really do...

Romans 8:1 -2
"There is therefore now no condemnation (guilt) to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made us free from the law of sin and death."

Thanks Precious Wavy.... we both see where mensa is coming from and her very tender heart is so humble that she apologized. She's was only 'venting' and she explained why.

Thanks again for being so kind to her.

 

[Rocky91]

If it doesn't sit well with you, then simply don't participate. We all have different convictions.
My family goes through this debate every time we have a wedding (SDA)....
Or are you saying you'd want to stop the activity from occurring at all? Cause that's probably overstepping your boundaries.

And I would personally kill this woman with kindness, poor lady just sounds lonely. I think more churches need a singles ministry.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[JaneBond007]

Eh, who am I to forgive someone? My pedestal is curbside and I have many faults lol! You know, I thought about this a bit...do you think she is there to take husbands??? I wouldn't go and plan a date with my husband on those days she's hosting this fundraiser if it bothers you that much. Usually, we women "feel" something about others, if you know what I mean.

I'd actually like to learn ballroom or even line dancing, though. I think your pastor doesn't wish to be seen as square and out-of-date lol. You can have good, holy fun, right? But if you know something more about her actual behavior, have a date as an excuse or something. I've seen enough of folks taking another husband right in the church, in front of everybodys' eyes. It wasn't pretty and it ended HORRIBLY for all parties involved. SMH

 

[aribell]

felic1 Great post. Really good points.

I agree that this seems to be more about a judgment of the woman than ballroom dancing itself. (I would say this seems to be like 99% animus toward the woman and 1% concern about ballroom dancing). And the difficulty is that we can be judgmental in our heart's attitude whether we speak harshly or softly. So, I think all the suggestions felic1 made are helpful in generating an attitude of love towards her, so that she can be seen as the Lord sees her.

If rebuke is necessary, then so be it; but God's rebuke is in love because when He does it, like Jesus did with the woman at the well, it is personal (face to face) and designed to take us further in Him.

 

[Shimmie]

mensa....

First of all, I want to thank you for sharing your heart. You have every right to vent your feelings and the humility that you expressed later is beyond admirable. Your apology humbles me. I know that you truly mean it.

I've been in the Dance community (the Arts) for a very long time and I've encountered many, many personalities in Dance.

The woman you describe is lonely and the dancing is one of her outreaches to get attention. She seems to be telling all about herself everywhere she goes, whether it's on Facebook or in other arenas.

She's lonely for attention. I would just pray for her and I know that you will. You've simply had enough of her behavior and you've seen enough to know what's up with her. Sometimes we see certain behaviours to a point where it has gone way too far, and having her as the leader in these dance classes have reached the limit. For you can 'see' the spirit behind it. She is out for attention, but in a manner that is not becoming.

I'm not going to try and convince you nor anyone else that dancing could never be a sin. It's not true. It can be a sin when done inappropriately or a beautiful art to watch when done with class and grace.

mensa, you have my full support and I thank God for you. You are indeed a woman with a humble heart and spirit.

 

[Shimmie]

Mensa, I understand what you are trying to convey... If this woman is doing these things, I wouldn't approve of her doing any type of class in the church...let alone dancing.

I would only say that there are people who struggle with their weight and to point out that she is 'fat', just seemed a little insensitive to some of the members that may be in that category right now.

You can pray for me...thank you!

ETA: Oh, to answer your question...I like Ballroom Dancing! I love the flowing of the dresses also, like Shimme mentioned. Makes me feel girlie!!!

:reddancer: Girl... I love to twirl.... :reddancer:

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Thanks Precious Wavy.... we both see where @mensa is coming from and her very tender heart is so humble that she apologized. She's was only 'venting' and she explained why.

Thanks again for being so kind to her.

Yes she did and she touched my heart!

I praise the Lord for sensitive hearts....I really do. She was able to see by the Holy Spirit that what she was feeling wasn't exactly what she should have posted so, she repented to God and then asked the members of this forum to forgive her. That speaks volumes about this young lady!

I thank God for her humbleness...its refreshing to see!

 

[Nice & Wavy]

:reddancer: Girl... I love to twirl.... :reddancer:

Yes...I know :reddancer:girl, :reddancer:!!!

 

[Shimmie]

Yes she did and she touched my heart!

I praise the Lord for sensitive hearts....I really do. She was able to see by the Holy Spirit that what she was feeling wasn't exactly what she should have posted so, she repented to God and then asked the members of this forum to forgive her. That speaks volumes about this young lady!

I thank God for her humbleness...its refreshing to see!

The way that you shared your post with her was filled with so much compassion and understanding. You knew just what to say and how to say it without tearing her down.

There's not a person on this forum who at one time or another, that has not vented about or directly towards someone or something. Not one, person here in this entire forum, which includes me.

What mensa shared was the truth. There was a 'hooch' spirit (seducing) in the midst of her Church and she called it out. And I can guarantee you, that not one person here would not have done / felt the same or a 'certain way', had they too, had the same encounter with the same woman presenting this same behavior in their Church as well.

It is what it is...a brazen woman in the Church behaving inappropriately and has taken her brazenness to the dance floor for more attention to her brazen. She's hooching and now with dance lessons to expand the brazen hoochiness.

In other words, she's thirsty... thirsty for attention. There ain't a person here that would not call her out, if she was thirsting among them as well.

*Sigh*

Shimmie is taking her 'brazen' self to bed. I minister tomorrow at Church (our Women's Conference) and I need to go to sleep...

I just wanted to thank you and mensa. Thanks again for supporting her.

My love to you and Pastor 'A'...

 

[CoilyFields]

mensa,
Sorry Im late.

I think you need to do some reflecting and figure out if its the dancing you object to or the woman teaching the dancing.

If it's the dancing I would then examine further if this is a personal decision (your own sanctification) or something that is a danger to the body of Christ (keeping in mind Pauls assertion about us being able to celebrate different holidays and eating different foods etc).

If you feel it is a danger to the body of Christ then I would speak with the pastor about my concerns. All of this should be done AFTER actually attending one of the sessions. It may not be what you think it is.

If its the woman you object to. Get to know her. Love on her. She sounds lonely. Draw her back in the spirit of meekness. I know we often dont wanna do that. Its easier to point out someones flaws and walk away shaking our heads than to take the time to help them overcome them. But you be a doer of the word. Your apology shows that you want to do the right thing. I am grateful that you gave it because the devil has no ammunition now.

Let us know what you decide to do sis.

JaneBond007,
"My pedestal is curbside"...consider that phrase officially hijacked.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

The way that you shared your post with her was filled with so much compassion and understanding. You knew just what to say and how to say it without tearing her down.

There's not a person on this forum who at one time or another, that has not vented about or directly towards someone or something. Not one, person here in this entire forum, which includes me.

What @mensa shared was the truth. There was a 'hooch' spirit (seducing) in the midst of her Church and she called it out. And I can guarantee you, that not one person here would not have done / felt the same or a 'certain way', had they too, had the same encounter with the same woman presenting this same behavior in their Church as well.

It is what it is...a brazen woman in the Church behaving inappropriately and has taken her brazenness to the dance floor for more attention to her brazen. She's hooching and now with dance lessons to expand the brazen hoochiness.

In other words, she's thirsty... thirsty for attention. There ain't a person here that would not call her out, if she was thirsting among them as well.

*Sigh*

Shimmie is taking her 'brazen' self to bed. I minister tomorrow at Church (our Women's Conference) and I need to go to sleep...

I just wanted to thank you and @mensa. Thanks again for supporting her.

My love to you and Pastor 'A'...

I am so sorry, sis....I am just seeing this post...don't know how I missed it...guess I am getting.............old

We love you too!

How did the conference go?

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

an apology was given, an acknowledgement was made, it's time to move forward.

Eph 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

 

[Shimmie]

I am so sorry, sis....I am just seeing this post...don't know how I missed it...guess I am getting.............old

We love you too!

How did the conference go?

Thanks Sis. The conference went very well. My Pastors were very pleased with the message I shared.

I'm laughing because out of all of the other speakers, I was the only one who didnt' 'wooop' (holla) Everyone was blessed by all of the speakers.

This thread helped a lot in the message that I shared. So I have something else to thank mensa for, (our OP of this thread). Once again, it is her humble heart which stirred mine into absolute humility.

 

[Shimmie]

an apology was given, an acknowledgement was made, it's time to move forward.

Eph 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Amen....

Thank you Healthy Hair....