A Hair Story! I wrote this in 2005! Just sharing! :Rose:
Hosted on Fotki
I'm writing this because of some recent comments made to me. I NEED to say this!!!
When you look at my hair , what do you see? The length ? the thickness? the curl pattern? what? A woman that has always had it easy with their hair?
when you look at my hair what do you say? Before you SAY anything......let me tell you more about the woman behind the hair!!!
Yes I am of mixed hertiage. My mother is White. Father is Black. Right now in this moment after reading this statement I just typed..I already know what your thinking. "Oh This is why she has this curl patttern and why her hair grows"......
First let me say. I'am 39 years old (wrote this on 5/12/2005) and have been growing my hair now (with new healthy hair habits) for TWELVE years!!! This is the longest my hair has ever been in my life!!!!! Before these years of growth, if you saw my hair you might say something like "man her hair is damaged" or " she doesnt have the "good" kind of hair most mixed people have" (yes I heard this many many times) Did my hair type change? I dont know and really cant answer that for sure, but I can say I believe its just proper care of my hair. I truly believe with damage, dryness and improper care my hair "appeared" to be a different hair type for most of my life. So you say I dont know what its like to have type 4 hair??? Well I tell you I actully did for most of my life!! I cant explain that. But its true. I wore weaves and hair peices and phony tails to have the hair I so desired for many years (Yes I actually did) I was even desperate (or crazy) enough to spend 400 dollars on a micro braided weave (Yes I did!), more than once...that further damaged my hair and took it out.
It was a scarey day in Jan 1993 that I sat there with a jacked up weave in my hair. Wanted to take it out, wanted to stop the weaving and didnt know what to do. So I took it out and was crying over what I had left. I couldnt even fit it into a pony tail at all after washing it. it was damaged and dry and broken off everywhere!!! I coudnt further relax damaged hair!!! i couldnt press it!!! I wanted to stop weaving!!!! and just didnt know what to do!!! so i slapped some grease in it after washing it and brushed it back and fit it in a little ittty bitty pony tail (I estimate about 1/2 and inch) and did that for days , but hated it!!! So i bought a weft of fake hair and wrapped a little of that around it to help with how i felt. I did that for months and then my PJ days were born. I bought products galore and discoverd that with some grease and wetness i could actually slick my hair back some (yes this was a news flash) I DID NOT KNOW THAT!! so thats what I did for months to follow under a fake weft of my home made pony tail......gradually I discovered my new growth coming in....it felt so LUSH and THICK and HEALTHY ....then i started to dispise the thin, dry, damaged rest of my hair. But i dealt with it....about 5-6 months later I went to my hair dresser and was astonished at how much my hair had grown when he pressed it (it was a full bottom of my neck lenght) and healthy and thick.....I was blown away....the next followng months , I became disatisified with managing my hair and how it looked and how i couldnt do what i wanted to with it. and although I learned Grease and wetness allowed to somewhat slick my hair back......its was "slick" like I wanted it to be....I had edges sticking up...it wasnt cooperating like I wanted. So i got the grand Idea to relax yet again that year in September!!! the months following resulted in breakage (major) of the new healthy hair I had, thinning , no more growth. and heart break again!!! By April of 1994 my boyfriend at the time had a long heart to heart with my while he was greasing my scalp for me and told me that as long as i relaxed this would continue. What was I gonna do now? I was in love with this man (Thank God he loved me past my hair cause it had been jacked up since the day I met him) i wanted him to be atttracted to every part of me (of course all women want that for the man they are in love with) I truly didnt know what to do, he suggested braids. I had someone braid my hair. I was happy with them but the actual braiding experience , being at her house , how long she took etc. was hell. So I set out to teach myself how to braid. The first attempt was laughable (My ex got a few giggles in between his encouragment to keep trying) well I got the hang of it and kept doing that to grow out my hair. Neither he nor I really saw much of my own hair over the next year. When out of braids I wore a bun. This man would wash my hair and condition it for me in the shower (its been so hard to get over him for so many of these little reasons) and encourage me to keep doing what I'm doing. He was the one a few years later that actually took the scissors and choppped that last little bit of relaxer ( he didnt tell me he was doing all that when he grabbed the scissors) , after crying he comforted me that the damaged hair was finally gone......ummmm yeah but now I had shelf layers in my head...now what was I gonna do with it???? braids again!!!
Into the future a little bit.......my hair did grow (obviously) and I did get to see the glorious day when my ex (the man i was so in love with) got to see my hair long and healthy (will never forget the look in his eyes that day) he had sown so many seeds of knowledge and love into my hair and helped me take so many steps in that direction!!! That was a DIVINE moment!!! and to boot mind you all this time.....this man has hair down his back...beautiful healthy hair. (yes he took my hair products and used them up more than once lol) SO YOU KNOW this made me that much more insecure inside over the state of my hair and that much more desperate for him to be attracted to all of me INCLUDING MY HAIR.....So all I can say is after years when It happened...it was GLORIOUS!!
Ok so the battle is over (so I think) , my hair is now long , healthy and thriving.......and it was!!! and by now I pretty much knew what I was doing with it....I had made it through all the hell of learning it , growing it and the waiting......I was FINALLY in a content place with my hair for the first time in my life.......THAT IS UNTILL, it suddenly started coming out in clumps.....and clumps!! I told others , they said dont worry , stress makes it worse....YEAH RIGHT!!! I JUST ABOUT BROKE DOWN EVERY TIME I EVEN TOUCHED MY HAIR AND SAW THE CLUMPS!!! anyway this kept progressing...then i started feeling sick to boot. left work one day (sept 2001) , (my only outer symptoms was a swollen thyroid the doctors noticed) and my hair falling out.....Doctors were writing ALOPECIA on paper!!!!!! I cannot tell you the tears I shed!!! The tested my thyroid , it was fine!!!! they then started to send me to endocrinologists trying to get to the bottom of my swollen thyroid (goiter) and falling out hair.....still no answers. I prayed so hard for it to stop...I read up on all hair nutrition immediatly and immediatly started to take a comprehensive regimen. My final diagnosis ended up being EBV (Mono)......my hair did stop falling out....but not before over HALF OF IT was gone.....yes i lost over half of the thickness in my hair...and yes you could see scalp!!! I learned that God made our bodies to preserve themselves and our hair is low in the totem pole of importance.....OUR BODIES WILL TAKE ALL OF WHAT IT NEEDS TO HEAL AND OUR HAIR HAS NO POWER TO TAKE WHAT IT NEEDS OVER THAT!!!
anyway gradually my body and hair recovered ...and honestly I'm just now seeing how thick my hair actually is!!!!! It hadnt even got to this point pre-illness. I'm still actually not even all the way better....i still struggle at times with my energy levels!!!! But the Mono is gone...but they say sometimes EBV leads to something called CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) , sometimes i still go through energy crashes here and there.......but I got a miracle being healed of the EBV (this is a true testimony of God's healing power) would love to tell that story ..but thats long. But the doctors were starting to flip out and tell me I either had lymphoma or luekemia!!! Then my miracle came....YES God called me out in church and three days later burned the virus out of my blood (yes I felt him do it!!) Five months later.....the virus was NEGATIVE!!!
you look at my hair and you MIGHT think its always been this way...its been easy for me.....Ive always had long healthy hair...i have had no hair trauma or set backs etc etc etc WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!!
So I ask you......what made you think you just know the things you think you know about me or my hair or my life BASED ON MY HAIR????????
I have had real and huge hair heartbreaks, aches, disapointments and battles as well as real life heartbreaks aches and disapointments and battles. Come on now....I'am not a head of hair....I am human!!!!!!!
If God says our hair is low on the totem pole of importance in our bodies......THEN I SAY IT SHOULD BE LOW ON THE TOTEM POLE OF IMPORTANCE IN HOW WE ALLOW IT TO MAKE US PERCIEVE OTHERS!!!!!!
just getting it off my chest
Its only hair people!!!! God made it to replace itself!!! Its shouldnt stand in between irreplaceable things.....like friendships and really knowing someone!!!!! and seeing beyond the hair to the heart!!!!!
Iris
You are so right! We have to enjoy where we are at now, to enjoy where we will be in the future. Live in the present and relish the blessings God has given us this day. It's really easy to think, "I'll be happy, when..." Let's be happy and appreciative, now. Sometimes I lose focus, but I know that through my own personal hair loss of over 6 years, it is a Blessing and simply the Grace of God that I have any hair now. If you didn't know me, you would never know what I had been through. My hair is still pretty thick. I'm transitioning too, which comes with its own challenges, but it's been easier than I imagined. Prayer works, you guys! Confessing the Word works, you guys...
and The Sword of The Spirit ready bcs the enemy will try and attack you bcs of your Stand. But no sweat, we've already won the battle, we've got the Victory, right? So I'd get excited 
before I see the manifestation, show God how you completely trust Him.... 
....Here's a great big hug 
for all of you...thanks for standing with me...
) or by wearing a weave. Use the ladies of LHCF with their various hair textures and types as a testimony that with trust in YOU, prayer, and good haircare techniques that any woman of any race or ethnicity can enjoy long hair as her "crowning glory!"
