FrazzledFraggle
New Member
STICKS & STONES
Key Verse
MATTHEW 12:34B-35 “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.”
Objective
TO KNOW WHAT IS IN OUR HEARTS BY LISTENING TO OUR SPEECH.
Lie #1
STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME!
Truth
MATTHEW 15:17-19 “DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT EVERYTHING THAT GOES INTO THE MOUTH PASSES INTO THE STOMACH AND IS ELIMINATED? BUT THE THINGS THAT PROCEED OUT OF THE MOUTH COME FROM THE HEART, AND THOSE DEFILE THE MAN. FOR OUT OF THE HEART COMES EVIL THOUGHTS, MURDERS, ADULTERIES, FORNICATIONS, THEFTS, FALSE WITNESS, AND SLANDER.”
Are our hearts cesspools full of sludge?
What are some examples of things that come out of our mouths and defile us? Bitterness, anger, nagging, boasting, sarcasm, criticism, lying, backstabbing, complaining.
MATTHEW 12:34 says that our words come out of the overflow of our heart. An uncontrolled mouth comes from something deep inside of an angry, dark and wounded heart. Many times our heart issues lie dormant until triggered by strife, hurt, stress, tiredness or even certain people in our lives, then they show themselves in anger, criticism or sarcasm. Examine your heart.
What is the condition of my heart? Why did I say that…like I did? Do I care about the feelings of others? Do I secretly delight in hurting this person? Is there envy or jealousy surfacing? Why am I not more interested in building them up instead of tearing them down? Who am I quick tempered with most? Where’s this anger coming from?
What are some of the roots in our hearts that produce these hurtful words?
For example, I lack something, I feel inadequate, greed, self-centeredness, or unforgiveness.
MATTHEW 18:15-17 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
A note about forgiveness. We as women harbor unforgiveness, which is sin. We can remember offenses for a long time and don’t hesitate to use them against someone when provoked. In Matthew chapter 18, Jesus tells us the story of the debtor. We all have been freely forgiven of our trespasses and we are to freely forgive others. In fact, Jesus gave instructions of what we are to do when we have aught against someone. Rather than going to the altar to receive from God, we are to first go to that person we are angry with and be reconciled. If that person will not reconcile, you are to take another Christian and the two of you attempt restoration. If all this fails, please prayerfully speak with a pastor or elder of the church.
1 JOHN 4:11 “Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.”
Our tongues can show us what the roots are down deep in our hearts and what is revealed can begin to be healed as we submit these roots to the Lord. For example, anger in our hearts can have the effect of harsh words; negative words can indicate a heart filled with fear; an unsettled heart can result in talking too much; critical words can come from bitterness in our heart, boastful words can show an insecure heart; and filthy words come from an impure heart.
PROVERBS 10:11 says that the words of the godly are a “life-giving fountain.”
Are your words a refreshing fountain…encouragement, tenderness, gratefulness, compassion, joyful, hopeful, etc?
If encouraging words are coming forth from your mouth then you have a happy heart; gentle words come from a tender heart; an honest heart speaks truthful words; and a heart filled with love speaks kind words.
Lie #2
I CAN CONTROL WHAT I SAY.
Truth
JAMES 3:2-12 “INDEED, WE ALL MAKE MANY MISTAKES. FOR IF WE COULD CONTROL OUR TONGUES, WE WOULD BE PERFECT AND COULD ALSO CONTROL OURSELVES IN EVERY OTHER WAY. WE CAN MAKE A LARGE HORSE GO WHEREVER WE WANT BY MEANS OF A SMALL BIT IN ITS MOUTH. AND A SMALL RUDDER MAKES A HUGE SHIP TURN WHEREVER THE PILOT CHOOSES TO GO, EVEN THOUGH THE WINDS ARE STRONG. IN THE SAME WAY, THE TONGUE IS A SMALL THING THAT MAKES GRAND SPEECHES. BUT A TINY SPARK CAN SET A GREAT FOREST ON FIRE. AND THE TONGUE IS A FLAME OF FIRE. IT IS A WHOLE WORLD OF WICKEDNESS, CORRUPTING YOUR ENTIRE BODY. IT CAN SET YOUR WHOLE LIFE ON FIRE, FOR IT IS SET ON FIRE BY HELL ITSELF. PEOPLE CAN TAME ALL KINDS OF ANIMALS, BIRDS, REPTILES, AND FISH, BUT NO ONE CAN TAME THE TONGUE. IT IS RESTLESS AND EVIL, FULL OF DEADLY POISON. SOMETIMES IT PRAISES OUR LORD AND FATHER, AND SOMETIMES IT CURSES THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN MADE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD. AND SO BLESSING AND CURSING COME POURING OUT OF THE SAME MOUTH. SURELY, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, THIS IS NOT RIGHT! DOES A SPRING OF WATER BUBBLE OUT WITH BOTH FRESH WATER AND BITTER WATER? DOES A FIG TREE PRODUCE OLIVES, OR A GRAPEVINE PRODUCE FIGS? NO, AND YOU CAN’T DRAW FRESH WATER FROM A SALTY SPRING.”
Read JAMES 3:2-12 as a group. Then go back and underline in your Bibles or list in your journals the examples that James gives us to describe our tongue. (It might be helpful to bring an assortment of pens & highlighters for a hands-on study.)
Our tongue is the window of our soul. If we can control our tongue, we can control our life. If our tongue is controlled, this is evidence that our lusts, passions, disciplines and other character issues have come under the control of the Holy Spirit. What comes out of your mouth shows what is going on down deep in your heart.
James goes on to tell us in JAMES 4:4-8A how we can control our tongues. “Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”
We can have victory over an uncontrolled tongue by keeping an intimate relationship with Jesus. Drawing close to Him will reveal what is in our hearts. We can ask the Holy Spirit to make us sensitive to His voice and give us conviction every time we start to say something careless or unkind. Our words can bring the blessings of a refreshing fountain from a pure heart when tamed by prayer and the Holy Spirit.
Lie #3
SO I SAID SOMETHING I SHOULDN’T HAVE, I’M ONLY HUMAN. DOES IT MATTER?
Truth
I PETER 3:8-10 “FINALLY, ALL OF YOU, LIVE IN HARMONY WITH ONE ANOTHER; BE SYMPATHETIC, LOVE AS BROTHERS, BE COMPASSIONATE AND HUMBLE. DO NOT REPAY EVIL WITH EVIL OR INSULT WITH INSULT, BUT WITH BLESSING, BECAUSE TO THIS YOU WERE CALLED SO THAT YOU MAY INHERIT A BLESSING. FOR WHOEVER WOULD LOVE LIFE AND SEE GOOD DAYS MUST KEEP HIS TONGUE FROM EVIL AND HIS LIPS FROM DECEITFUL SPEECH.”
What would it sound like if someone would tape record your speech in your home for one week and play it back to the group? What would that tell us about your heart? Is this the “real” you when no one else is around? How then should we speak?
I PETER 4:11 “If anyone speaks, he should speak as one speaking the very words of God.”
COLOSSIANS 4:6 “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
EPHESIANS 4:29-32 “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has forgiven you.”
Can you recall a recent conversation you have been a part of that was “full of grace, seasoned with salt?” How did it make you feel?
PSALMS 141:3 “Set a guard O Lord over my mouth, keep watch over the door of my lips.”
Pray PSALMS 141:3 this week as you begin your day and during the day. You might want to write it on a note card to carry with you!
Key Verse
MATTHEW 12:34B-35 “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.”
Objective
TO KNOW WHAT IS IN OUR HEARTS BY LISTENING TO OUR SPEECH.
Lie #1
STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME!
Truth
MATTHEW 15:17-19 “DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT EVERYTHING THAT GOES INTO THE MOUTH PASSES INTO THE STOMACH AND IS ELIMINATED? BUT THE THINGS THAT PROCEED OUT OF THE MOUTH COME FROM THE HEART, AND THOSE DEFILE THE MAN. FOR OUT OF THE HEART COMES EVIL THOUGHTS, MURDERS, ADULTERIES, FORNICATIONS, THEFTS, FALSE WITNESS, AND SLANDER.”
Are our hearts cesspools full of sludge?
What are some examples of things that come out of our mouths and defile us? Bitterness, anger, nagging, boasting, sarcasm, criticism, lying, backstabbing, complaining.
MATTHEW 12:34 says that our words come out of the overflow of our heart. An uncontrolled mouth comes from something deep inside of an angry, dark and wounded heart. Many times our heart issues lie dormant until triggered by strife, hurt, stress, tiredness or even certain people in our lives, then they show themselves in anger, criticism or sarcasm. Examine your heart.
What is the condition of my heart? Why did I say that…like I did? Do I care about the feelings of others? Do I secretly delight in hurting this person? Is there envy or jealousy surfacing? Why am I not more interested in building them up instead of tearing them down? Who am I quick tempered with most? Where’s this anger coming from?
What are some of the roots in our hearts that produce these hurtful words?
For example, I lack something, I feel inadequate, greed, self-centeredness, or unforgiveness.
MATTHEW 18:15-17 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
A note about forgiveness. We as women harbor unforgiveness, which is sin. We can remember offenses for a long time and don’t hesitate to use them against someone when provoked. In Matthew chapter 18, Jesus tells us the story of the debtor. We all have been freely forgiven of our trespasses and we are to freely forgive others. In fact, Jesus gave instructions of what we are to do when we have aught against someone. Rather than going to the altar to receive from God, we are to first go to that person we are angry with and be reconciled. If that person will not reconcile, you are to take another Christian and the two of you attempt restoration. If all this fails, please prayerfully speak with a pastor or elder of the church.
1 JOHN 4:11 “Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.”
Our tongues can show us what the roots are down deep in our hearts and what is revealed can begin to be healed as we submit these roots to the Lord. For example, anger in our hearts can have the effect of harsh words; negative words can indicate a heart filled with fear; an unsettled heart can result in talking too much; critical words can come from bitterness in our heart, boastful words can show an insecure heart; and filthy words come from an impure heart.
PROVERBS 10:11 says that the words of the godly are a “life-giving fountain.”
Are your words a refreshing fountain…encouragement, tenderness, gratefulness, compassion, joyful, hopeful, etc?
If encouraging words are coming forth from your mouth then you have a happy heart; gentle words come from a tender heart; an honest heart speaks truthful words; and a heart filled with love speaks kind words.
Lie #2
I CAN CONTROL WHAT I SAY.
Truth
JAMES 3:2-12 “INDEED, WE ALL MAKE MANY MISTAKES. FOR IF WE COULD CONTROL OUR TONGUES, WE WOULD BE PERFECT AND COULD ALSO CONTROL OURSELVES IN EVERY OTHER WAY. WE CAN MAKE A LARGE HORSE GO WHEREVER WE WANT BY MEANS OF A SMALL BIT IN ITS MOUTH. AND A SMALL RUDDER MAKES A HUGE SHIP TURN WHEREVER THE PILOT CHOOSES TO GO, EVEN THOUGH THE WINDS ARE STRONG. IN THE SAME WAY, THE TONGUE IS A SMALL THING THAT MAKES GRAND SPEECHES. BUT A TINY SPARK CAN SET A GREAT FOREST ON FIRE. AND THE TONGUE IS A FLAME OF FIRE. IT IS A WHOLE WORLD OF WICKEDNESS, CORRUPTING YOUR ENTIRE BODY. IT CAN SET YOUR WHOLE LIFE ON FIRE, FOR IT IS SET ON FIRE BY HELL ITSELF. PEOPLE CAN TAME ALL KINDS OF ANIMALS, BIRDS, REPTILES, AND FISH, BUT NO ONE CAN TAME THE TONGUE. IT IS RESTLESS AND EVIL, FULL OF DEADLY POISON. SOMETIMES IT PRAISES OUR LORD AND FATHER, AND SOMETIMES IT CURSES THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN MADE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD. AND SO BLESSING AND CURSING COME POURING OUT OF THE SAME MOUTH. SURELY, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, THIS IS NOT RIGHT! DOES A SPRING OF WATER BUBBLE OUT WITH BOTH FRESH WATER AND BITTER WATER? DOES A FIG TREE PRODUCE OLIVES, OR A GRAPEVINE PRODUCE FIGS? NO, AND YOU CAN’T DRAW FRESH WATER FROM A SALTY SPRING.”
Read JAMES 3:2-12 as a group. Then go back and underline in your Bibles or list in your journals the examples that James gives us to describe our tongue. (It might be helpful to bring an assortment of pens & highlighters for a hands-on study.)
Our tongue is the window of our soul. If we can control our tongue, we can control our life. If our tongue is controlled, this is evidence that our lusts, passions, disciplines and other character issues have come under the control of the Holy Spirit. What comes out of your mouth shows what is going on down deep in your heart.
James goes on to tell us in JAMES 4:4-8A how we can control our tongues. “Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”
We can have victory over an uncontrolled tongue by keeping an intimate relationship with Jesus. Drawing close to Him will reveal what is in our hearts. We can ask the Holy Spirit to make us sensitive to His voice and give us conviction every time we start to say something careless or unkind. Our words can bring the blessings of a refreshing fountain from a pure heart when tamed by prayer and the Holy Spirit.
Lie #3
SO I SAID SOMETHING I SHOULDN’T HAVE, I’M ONLY HUMAN. DOES IT MATTER?
Truth
I PETER 3:8-10 “FINALLY, ALL OF YOU, LIVE IN HARMONY WITH ONE ANOTHER; BE SYMPATHETIC, LOVE AS BROTHERS, BE COMPASSIONATE AND HUMBLE. DO NOT REPAY EVIL WITH EVIL OR INSULT WITH INSULT, BUT WITH BLESSING, BECAUSE TO THIS YOU WERE CALLED SO THAT YOU MAY INHERIT A BLESSING. FOR WHOEVER WOULD LOVE LIFE AND SEE GOOD DAYS MUST KEEP HIS TONGUE FROM EVIL AND HIS LIPS FROM DECEITFUL SPEECH.”
What would it sound like if someone would tape record your speech in your home for one week and play it back to the group? What would that tell us about your heart? Is this the “real” you when no one else is around? How then should we speak?
I PETER 4:11 “If anyone speaks, he should speak as one speaking the very words of God.”
COLOSSIANS 4:6 “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
EPHESIANS 4:29-32 “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has forgiven you.”
Can you recall a recent conversation you have been a part of that was “full of grace, seasoned with salt?” How did it make you feel?
PSALMS 141:3 “Set a guard O Lord over my mouth, keep watch over the door of my lips.”
Pray PSALMS 141:3 this week as you begin your day and during the day. You might want to write it on a note card to carry with you!
