Exclusive Interview With The Jaguar Who "attacked" The Woman At The Az Zoo

After a woman was injured after crossing a barrier to take a selfie with a jaguar at an Arizona zoo, The Root negotiated an exclusive one-on-one interview with the jaguar.


Michael Harriot: Hi, how are you? I want to thank you for taking some time out of your schedule to do this interview. What would you like to be called?

Jaguar: I am M’yteatchu, princess of the great forest, mother of panthers, punisher of line-crossers, breaker of chains, destroyer of Beckies.

But lately, everyone has been calling me Cat Turner.

MH: M’yteacthu is a beautiful name. How did you wind up in a zoo?

CT: Well, I was stolen from the motherland years ago when the white man came and enslaved us. I’ve been held in captivity since then, trying to set my people free.

MH: So tell me about the attack from your perspective. What was it like to ...

CT: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Attack? What “attack”?

First of all, I was chilling at home when some white lady broke in. What would you do if someone came into your house with a weapon? This is a clear case of Stand Your Ground! She was armed and attacking me!

MH: She had a weapon? All the news reports say she was unarmed. All she had was a camera.

CT: It may look like a camera to you, but you have to look at it from my perspective. I could only see that she was reaching for something black and shiny and I had to make a split second decision. How was I supposed to know that it was an iPhone? I’m a jaguar, not a firearms expert.

Plus, You don’t know how it is on this side of the thin blue line.

MH: Thin blue line?

CT: Yes. The zookeepers painted a bunch of lines in front of my cage.

MH: Oh, you mean the words: “Danger! Do Not Cross.” Those are words. And that color is red, not blue.

CT: Well, part of this anti-jaguar, human supremacist system is that they keep us down by giving us an inferior education. The schools here are terrible, so I never claimed to be very good at reading or knowing my colors. Maybe I struggle with literacy because, again ...

I’m. A. Jaguar.

MH: So when you saw the woman, what was the first thing you thought?

CT: I feared for my life.

You have to understand the environment I grew up in. I’m from the West Side of Wakanda, so I was raised to defend my borders from Caucasians. I was literally born into the Black Panther Party for Self Defense. Even when I talk to my other homeboys around here—the lions, tigers and bears (please don’t say it) all have terrible stories about what happened when they let white people get too close. I see it on the news every day.

MH: You watch TV?

CT: Yes, they give us basic cable here. I mostly watch Animal Planet, the History Channel and the NFL Network.

MH: Wow, that’s a really diverse list of viewing.

CT: Not really. They all show the same thing—animals trying to kill other animals.

MH: Oh. So what happened next?

CT: Well, first I looked around to see if this was some kind of joke. I’ve heard that white women often overstep their boundaries, but I didn’t know they did it literally. I was raised to not allow anyone to disrespect my cathood like that. I thought: “You must not know who the &*%$ I am!” Then I yelled “Brooklyyynnn!” and pounced on her ***.

MH: Wait ... I thought you said you were from Wakanda. Why did you yell “Brooklyn?”

CT: “Wakanda” has too many syllables.

Also, when I was at the Bronx Zoo, dudes used to scream that all the time when they punched someone for stepping on their Timberlands. I just assumed it means “watch out *****.” My English isn’t very good. I may have neglected to mention it but:

I’m. A. Jaguar.

MH: Did you feel bad about injuring her?

CT: No, it felt great. I haven’t hunted in such a long time, it felt good to get some cardio in. They say pouncing is great for the glutes. It was really exciting. Besides, what did she think was going to happen? I wanted to show “those people” what happens in real life when you **** with jaguars.

MH: Who specifically do you mean by “those people?”

CT: I mean “people.”

I wasn’t even trying to kill her, I just wanted to make sure she wasn’t trying to colonize my cage. I’ve heard what happen when “those people” move into your neighborhood. First, they destroy the property value and then violence starts. They tear down the forest. They kill the vegetation. They start wars.

We jaguars usually bite the throat, but I was literally trying to disarm her. I couldn’t get it out of the socket though, so I left her alone. She should be glad that I don’t really eat white meat like that. She wasn’t really seasoned right, either. She tasted like asparagus and spin class.

MH: So what happened afterward?

CT: Well, all the leopards and lions have been trying to holla at me since it happened, but I told them I have a man. I got a lot of street cred. The National Association for the Advancement of Colored Panthers (NAACP) Legal Defense Fund has agreed to represent me if I’m charged with a crime. We are also considering filing defamation lawsuits against the people who say I “attacked” someone.

The mainstream media portrays us like we only commit jaguar-on-jaguar violence, but the truth is, when you see those National Geographic documentaries of big cat fights, those are mostly taken on nature preserves where they have kept us segregated for years. And when they see us in their neighborhoods, they call the police on us.

That’s why you never see a jaguar in Starbucks or cooking out at Oakland parks. They love to watch us run, jump or fight, but when was the last time you saw a group of leopards just chilling at Applebee’s? Everyone loves kitten videos and Winnie-the-Pooh sidekicks shucking and jiving, but they fear a real Tigger. They want us all dead or locked up behind bars.

So everyone seems to understand my main reason for doing it.

MH: What was your main reason? Freedom? Revolution? Liberty?

CT: No, dummy, it’s because I’m a jaguar!

MH: Oh, right. So what’s next for you?

CT: Mostly the same stuff. You know, chilling out. Doing some periodic pouncing. Trying to bite the hand that feeds me. I’m teaching a cage-defense class on Thursdays. Maybe start a chapter of Black Cat Lives Matter.

I’m also considering a televised interview with Gayle King. After that R. Kelly interview, she’s probably the only person who can keep their composure around me.

MH: Well it was nice talking to you M’yteatchu. Is there anything you’d like to say to your fans?

CT: Yes, I’d like to send a shout out to my cousin Killmonger, who inspired me to do this. This was for all my people who have been wronged by a white woman, from Emmett Till to Amy Klobuchar’s Senate staff.

To my white people, before you cross the next boundary, remember what Nat Turner said: “Many of them are filled with fury and the unctuous coating of flattery which surrounds and encases that fury is but a form of self-preservation.”

MH: Was he talking about Jaguars?

CT: Not quite.

 

She tasted like Asparagus and Spin Class

 

This entire thing,

 

You guys I have an unpopular opinion. Brother Jag should've scratched her face off.
When are folks gonna learn to leave these animals alone

 

This is not an unpopular opinion. I would have catapulted some hot sauce from wayyyy back on over to M’yteatchu'nem.

 

Uhhmm why was this moved?

 

I'm a jaguar, not a firearms expert.

 

I told DH about this woman getting attacked and he started cracking up and said "Bet she won't do it again!"

 

Where is this from? I need to share this with a friend.

 

The Root.

This made me smile because I was surely rolling my eyes all day when I saw a few headlines written so passively for this foolish lady as if it's normal to climb over a fence for a pic. I said dang, they treat these animals like they are the problem just like they do us.

Did anyone see the video of her on the ground whimpering afterwards? All I could think is how are they this dense and constantly claiming to be afraid of black folks? You can't pay me to get that close to a wild animal. Their habits and thinking defy logic and the panther posted up. Case closed.

 

Love everything about this!

 

"Brooklyn" - I was already on the ground from the line " I'm a jaguar."

 

I'm just waiting for the lawsuit where she claims the zoo should've done more to keep visitors safe.

 

"Then I yelled “Brooklyyynnn!” and pounced on her ***."

I'm from Brooklyn- this had me crying!

 

You mean that people have to be told don't climb over the fence towards the big wild animal?

How about a sign that says 'Not responsible for your stupidity'?

 

“Wakanda” has too many syllables.

 

In recent interviews she is ost definitely blaming them for not keeping her safe.

https://www.unilad.co.uk/animals/woman-attacked-by-jaguar-insists-zoo-should-improve-safety/

 

But remember the black family whose CHILD climbed between the bars and fell into the gorilla exhibit? People all around the world were ready to lynch the mother and even dragged the father’s personal life into it and he wasn’t even there that day.

 

My memory ain't what it used to be but I will never forget that. Harambe social media blitz of white folks whining. Remember *icks out for Harambe? That's when I started heavily posting here because there was one member in particular who just could not bring herself to have the tiniest bit of empathy for that little boy and putting all this value on Harambe's life and blame on the mom who was in fact, responsible. Even white folks there spoke up for mom. That member ticked.me.off. May she rip. Lol

 

But but it was the mom's fault. She should have been watching her child who climbed into a high enclosure with a gorrila



I couldn't help it.
I dislike bad kids and their parents.

 

My point was- that’s a child. Children are going to do what children do. This was a whole grown woman.

 

You are right but parents need to be there so their kids won't climb into cages.
What was she Doing? Minding her business while Lil Tarzan is climbing a giant cage and barriers to go play with gorrillas. she needed her arse whipped.

I swear I have no dog/child in this fight because I taught mine early on about danger and ds had a natural instinct to avoid danger at that kid's age so I can't relate.

Sorry to derail yes the lady in the OP is an idiot.

 

"In fact, this is the second time that this black jaguar, which is between four and five years old, has swiped at someone who got too close to its enclosure. Last summer, Jeff Alan was also clawed by the big cat, needing eight stitches, after he reached his arm over the barrier to take a video. He argued that, “I never climbed over the barrier. I never stepped over a barrier. I was behind the barrier and just reached my arm out,” he told ABC15. He hired an attorney to explore whether they could convince the zoo to add more protections, but never took his case to court."

I don't believe him. His reach can't be that long.

 

The Jaguars limbs must be this long.

 

Girrrrl... I actually read the whole thing to DH last night (in script form) and he lol'd a few times but was actually impressed with whoever wrote this..

 

Well even if his arms were that long....he CROSSED t he barrier! He does not seem to understand that not crossing the barrier means do not cross the barrier with any part of your body. He is actually acting like he followed the rules just because he didn't jump his whole body over the barrier (supposedly). Major side eye.

 

I did the exact same thing and feel the exact same way!

 

LOVE IT! I am a Jaguar!

 

It's official, this Jaguar is my spirit animal

 

ROTFLMAO at white women crossing boundaries