darlingdiva
Well-Known Member
When I read posts and see videos from women who discuss the mental transition of going from relaxed to natural and the reactions that they receive when doing so, I find myself relating to them and thinking about how I used to feel with my flat-ironed vs. unflat-ironed hair.
First, a little background on my hair: According to the hair typing system, I’m a 4a/4b with some 3c at the nape. Until I started lurking here, I COMPLETELY bought into the “good hair/bad hair” syndrome. I thought my hair was the “bad hair.” I hated when the Goody brush would break when my mother brushed my hair. I remember seeing how sleek that little girl’s hair was on the PCJ box when I was five years old, and I begged for her a perm. She gave me one when I was six years old. I liked it because it was straight and sleek. Plus, it was easier for my mother to handle. Eventually, she realized that perms had their own set of maintenance requirements and she didn’t feel like being bothered with touch-ups, so she started pressing my hair. That’s when it fell out (I was about 10 years old then.). She bought me a braided wig to wear while she nursed my hair back to health.
Fast forward to high school/sophomore year of undergrad-January 2007: During this time, I was getting my hair pressed. Initially, my mother pressed it at home. Then, I started going to the hair dresser. When my mother did my hair, it was a two-day process (Day 1: washing and air drying; Day 2: Pressing). Sometimes, my mother didn’t feel like pressing my hair the next day, so I’d have to go to school with two cornrowed braids. I hated the way it looked (wavy and kinky). I didn’t like the reactions I’d get (weird looks and stares from students, teachers, and people in the street). When I’d get my hair pressed, I’d feel like a different person (happier, more confident) because I liked the way it looked, and I liked the reactions that I received from others (approval via smiles and compliments).
When I started dating my husband, I was still getting my hair pressed every two weeks. At a certain point, I started to think about whether I should stop pressing my hair because I felt and saw it getting weaker. I hesitated to stop getting my hair pressed b/c I worried about how I’d look without straight hair and what my husband (then SO) would think of it. I spoke w/ him about it and he said to go for it. I did, and he loved it. However, when I told him (after I stopped pressing my hair) that I was worried about how I’d look, he admitted that he was too.
Anyway, the point of this post is as follows:
As you go from (or when you went from) flat-ironed to unflat-ironed hair, can any non-relaxed flat-ironers relate to (or have you ever been able to relate to) the mental and physical transition that some relaxed women go through? Do you experience or have you ever experienced “different” reactions?
First, a little background on my hair: According to the hair typing system, I’m a 4a/4b with some 3c at the nape. Until I started lurking here, I COMPLETELY bought into the “good hair/bad hair” syndrome. I thought my hair was the “bad hair.” I hated when the Goody brush would break when my mother brushed my hair. I remember seeing how sleek that little girl’s hair was on the PCJ box when I was five years old, and I begged for her a perm. She gave me one when I was six years old. I liked it because it was straight and sleek. Plus, it was easier for my mother to handle. Eventually, she realized that perms had their own set of maintenance requirements and she didn’t feel like being bothered with touch-ups, so she started pressing my hair. That’s when it fell out (I was about 10 years old then.). She bought me a braided wig to wear while she nursed my hair back to health.
Fast forward to high school/sophomore year of undergrad-January 2007: During this time, I was getting my hair pressed. Initially, my mother pressed it at home. Then, I started going to the hair dresser. When my mother did my hair, it was a two-day process (Day 1: washing and air drying; Day 2: Pressing). Sometimes, my mother didn’t feel like pressing my hair the next day, so I’d have to go to school with two cornrowed braids. I hated the way it looked (wavy and kinky). I didn’t like the reactions I’d get (weird looks and stares from students, teachers, and people in the street). When I’d get my hair pressed, I’d feel like a different person (happier, more confident) because I liked the way it looked, and I liked the reactions that I received from others (approval via smiles and compliments).
When I started dating my husband, I was still getting my hair pressed every two weeks. At a certain point, I started to think about whether I should stop pressing my hair because I felt and saw it getting weaker. I hesitated to stop getting my hair pressed b/c I worried about how I’d look without straight hair and what my husband (then SO) would think of it. I spoke w/ him about it and he said to go for it. I did, and he loved it. However, when I told him (after I stopped pressing my hair) that I was worried about how I’d look, he admitted that he was too.
Anyway, the point of this post is as follows:
As you go from (or when you went from) flat-ironed to unflat-ironed hair, can any non-relaxed flat-ironers relate to (or have you ever been able to relate to) the mental and physical transition that some relaxed women go through? Do you experience or have you ever experienced “different” reactions?
