Give me advice

[legs71]

About 7 years ago a guy called me out of the clear blue sky claiming he had found my phone number in his car. His name didn't ring a bell, but we met up face-to-face. Over the years he would call or when I would see him on the street we would talk. I never took it further than that because I was suspect that he was claiming he found my phone number in his car. Fast forward to last year I saw him in the grocery store we spoke and he mentioned after all those years he realized where my phone number had came from. We exchange phone numbers again, planned to go out together but nothing transpired.

About a month ago after not seeing him since last year he showed up on my doorstep just to say hi. During that time he expressed to me that he was saved and how blessed his life had been since he had become saved. I also found out he was a member of my mother & stepfather's church and they know him. In fact, when speaking to my mother I found out that one Sunday while he was leading the morning prayer my mother said to herself, "I wish my daughter could meet a nice young man like him". Little did she know is that I knew him already and that 4 days later he would show up on my doorstep. Before he left we exchanged phone numbers again and he told me if I ever wanted to talk about the word to give him a call.

Strangely about a week and a half later I driving out of a Dunkin Donuts parking lot when my cell phone rang and it was him. I stopped my car to talk to him on my cell phone in the parking lot of car wash only to find out that he was at that car wash getting his car cleaned. He came over to talk to me and invited me to follow him to go to his house. Him and I talked about the bible and he filled me in on things I did not know. I'm not saved, but prior to meeting him I have been considering becoming saved because I know it will change my life.

So over the last couple of weeks him and I have been talking on the phone and seeing each other. He has been asking me questions like would I have a problem dating a younger guy(he's 28, I'm 34), would I be able to have a relationship w/o sex, do I plan to get married and what do I believe the Lord has planned for me. Unfortunately 2 times he and I have crossed boundaries and we are not happy about it.

Last night he called me and through conversation we spoke about the last incident. He told me he has a friend he can talk about with these things and they gave him some great insight. I told him I hope everything works out with the advice his friend gave him and he said yes, I(him) need to get married. Since the beginning he has made the statement he has made a general statement not directed to me that he would like to get married or he needs to get married. This confused me only because I have heard this many times from him and it leaves me with the impression that he has already selected someone, but it's all a matter of "working" to that point. One of my friends is under the impression he is speaking to me in subliminal messages me on the other hand thinks he is not.

There is a part of me that is saying speak up girl ask questions, another part of me is saying run for the hills and never look back, but there is a part of me that is saying this could be the potential mate God has sent to answer your prayers. He is a wonderful person and everything I could ever want in a mate. He is warm, loving, soft-spoken, educated, hard-working, ambitious, God-fearing and dedicated to his faith. Is this too good to be true??

 

[phynestone]

Wow...I don't think I'm authorized to speak on this, but I hope everything works out. I thought it was a little strange for him to just show up at your house without calling - it seems a little disrespectful to me. I also don't understand why he invited you to his house to discuss the Word, even though you guys didn't seem to know each other very well at the time. Who knows what could have happened? If he really wanted the both of you to abstain from temptation, he would have suggested a public place like a coffeehouse, library, etc.

On the other hand, I like the fact that he's willing and ready to work out the issues that the relationship will have. Also, he's willing to wait and be patient with you. I know all relationships have their flaws, but you have think about what's right for you. Have you discussed this with anyone else?

 

[legs71]

Wow...I don't think I'm authorized to speak on this, but I hope everything works out. I thought it was a little strange for him to just show up at your house without calling - it seems a little disrespectful to me. I also don't understand why he invited you to his house to discuss the Word, even though you guys didn't seem to know each other very well at the time. Who knows what could have happened? If he really wanted the both of you to abstain from temptation, he would have suggested a public place like a coffeehouse, library, etc.

On the other hand, I like the fact that he's willing and ready to work out the issues that the relationship will have. Also, he's willing to wait and be patient with you. I know all relationships have their flaws, but you have think about what's right for you. Have you discussed this with anyone else?

I usually don't like people to just show up on my doorstep, but honestly I don't think he meant any harm besides we've known each other for 7 years. On the first visit everything was cool we talked about everything from the bible to work. In fact, to be completely honest the first visit to his house was to see his newly purchased condo.

After our first incident he expressed to me he was a bit upset that he allowed himself to be thrown off course. Also he said he was disappointed because he had neglected to pray and read the bible in prior weeks due to school, work and church functions(he's a walking Deacon).

I haven't spoken to anyone about this because the people I know will only give me negative advice to further confuse me.

 

[MSee]

I was hesitant to respond to this post because my first thought was, it is written 'God is not the author of confusion'. However my interpretation may be wrong. If you have been thinking about getting saved I would suggest you do so and get the Heavanly Father's advice before giving yourself to someone in marriage, its too great a commitment. I can't tell you enough what a difference it will make getting to know God for yourself and having the Holy Spirit to guide you. May be the guy is your future mate, may be he isn't, just don't be led by feelings.

Apart from what I wrote above, I would suggest you go to a good christian counsellor in your church that knows you and would be better able to guage the situation. I wish you all the best in your decision.