Hey, Hairlove:
No matter what other products I try -- mango butter, shea butter -- I always go back to my tried and true Liv creme hair dress. This stuff has mineral oil, petrolatum (all the no-no's), but my hair seems to do best with it.
I've recently been using it for my braidouts, and I've discovered that my braidouts come out better and look shinier longer than the other stuff I tried.
I wash/condition my hair. Then while my hair is still wet, I apply the Liv and then braid. The next day, my hair has a nice shine to it, is soft, and I'm good for at least four days as long as I wear my scarf to bed at night.
If I use my Liv on my pressed hair, my hair looks shiny throughout the day, but then the next day it looks kinda dry and I have to apply some more. I think it works better when used on my wet hair because it "seals" in the moisture.
Anyway, our hair types are different, so I'm not sure if the grease/water trick will work for you. But it definitely seems to work on this head of mine!!