Grown Christian Women Having Multiple Children Out of Wedlock

[PrettyBrownEyes]

I couldn't decide whether I should post this on off-topic or here but, since the women are both Christians I decided to post here.

Anyway, I know two grown women that have never been married and continue to have children. One of them even has had all of her children by different men. I am not trying to be judgmental. I don't understand this repeated behavior. I know I can pray for them, but, I don't know just wanted to see what you ladies had to say about this.

Thoughts?

 

[locabouthair]

I kind of question things like that but then I think God has to judge them, not me.

 

[bludacious]

I Know this is not a situation that I want to be in personally but I still cannot judge those that are in this situation. The question of the matter should be whether these mothers (along with the father(s)) are taking care of their child/(children). Regardless, of how we not like the issue, the children are here. If the mother (father(s)) are taking care of their children, my hats goes off the the parents.

 

[Poohbear]

maybe they are just caught up in their sin right now...

why is it always women who have multiple children out of wedlock being picked on... what about the women who have multiple sex partners out of wedlock who don't have children...

either way it goes... we can't judge whether they are true Christians or not...

 

[star]

You do not have to judge them they have already done that with their actions. For some people God is just a savior not their Lord. A Lord is someone is dictates your life. Some live in sin because their wants is more important to them right now than what God wants. People's actions tell alot about where their self-esteem is and in this case very low. Just try to be a good example to them. Trust me they already know they are wrong and apparently is drowing in their sin. Pray that God will open their eyes and they will swim back to shore for the sake of children who may grow up and do the same thing.

 

[PrettyBrownEyes]

I Know this is not a situation that I want to be in personally but I still cannot judge those that are in this situation. The question of the matter should be whether these mothers (along with the father(s)) are taking care of their child/(children). Regardless, of how we not like the issue, the children are here. If the mother (father(s)) are taking care of their children, my hats goes off the the parents.

The children are being taken care of. It's just so hard for me to understand the behavior and do you accept this without saying anything or what? One of them is a very close friend.

In my own situation I've had one child out of wedlock many years ago. My family constantly "reminds" me not to do it again and its not because of my parenting skills, I am always commended about how good a mother I am. My family is just really against that sort of behavior and have said some very harsh things about my friend and her situation and how it wouldn't be tolerated from me.

 

[PrettyBrownEyes]

maybe they are just caught up in their sin right now...

why is it always women who have multiple children out of wedlock being picked on... what about the women who have multiple sex partners out of wedlock who don't have children...

either way it goes... we can't judge whether they are true Christians or not...

They are "picked on" because their sin shows. I have a child out of wedlock and more times than not I hear how to avoid going down that road again as opposed to sex out of marriage period.

 

[PrettyBrownEyes]

You do not have to judge them they have already done that with their actions. For some people God is just a savior not their Lord. A Lord is someone is dictates your life. Some live in sin because their wants is more important to them right now than what God wants. People's actions tell alot about where their self-esteem is and in this case very low. Just try to be a good example to them. Trust me they already know they are wrong and apparently is drowing in their sin. Pray that God will open their eyes and they will swim back to shore for the sake of children who may grow up and do the same thing.

I do try to be a good example especially to one of the ladies since we are close friends. I don't know how to deal with this situation though. When I've told my family (she is like family) that she is pregnant AGAIN they look so disappointed and don't say anything positive.

What am I supposed to do? Tell her Congratulations? I know this sounds dumb but, I just don't know.

 

[ThickHair]

It is kind of hard to explain the thinking unless you are the one having OOW children. Can't judge.

 

[TBird]

I think that there is a difference between judging a person and not condoning their actions. I have a friend that although she has no children sleeps around frequently. I love her to death and she knows that but when it comes to talking about her sexual episodes or asking what I think she should do I just don't listen and offer no advice. Because she's grown, she's going to do what she's going to do regardless of what anyone else thinks. And she has to answer to God not to me for her actions. I have a cousin who is 25 with 4 girls by 4 different men. The first child maybe that was by accident but 3 more that's something else. At this point she knows how to keep from getting pregnant. So even though I love her and I love her daughters and never treat them differently, I don't condone have child after child.

 

[PrettyBrownEyes]

I think that there is a difference between judging a person and not condoning their actions. I have a friend that although she has no children sleeps around frequently. I love her to death and she knows that but when it comes to talking about her sexual episodes or asking what I think she should do I just don't listen and offer no advice.

That sounds good TBird, thanks.

 

[JuJuBoo]

You do not have to judge them they have already done that with their actions. For some people God is just a savior not their Lord. A Lord is someone is dictates your life. Some live in sin because their wants is more important to them right now than what God wants. People's actions tell alot about where their self-esteem is and in this case very low. Just try to be a good example to them. Trust me they already know they are wrong and apparently is drowing in their sin. Pray that God will open their eyes and they will swim back to shore for the sake of children who may grow up and do the same thing.

@ the whole response.

Especially at the bolded part. That's the TRUTH unfortunetely. The world would be different if more Christians would see Christ as LORD.

 

[bludacious]

The children are being taken care of. It's just so hard for me to understand the behavior and do you accept this without saying anything or what? One of them is a very close friend.

In my own situation I've had one child out of wedlock many years ago. My family constantly "reminds" me not to do it again and its not because of my parenting skills, I am always commended about how good a mother I am. My family is just really against that sort of behavior and have said some very harsh things about my friend and her situation and how it wouldn't be tolerated from me.

I hear what you are saying. You don't necessarily have to accept the behavior. What you do is pray for that person and the children.

You have a child out of wedlock. You understand that. You are working to better yourself. I am sure God forgave you for having a child out of wedlock. I have no doubt that you are a good mother. Still, if you happen to have another baby out of wedlock, you still don't deserve any harsh things said about you. You are human. If God can forgive us, so can our fellow man. For me, I would never judge you. Like you said you are a loving mother and that's good enough for me.

 

[AnnDriena_]

You do not have to judge them they have already done that with their actions. For some people God is just a savior not their Lord. A Lord is someone is dictates your life. Some live in sin because their wants is more important to them right now than what God wants. People's actions tell alot about where their self-esteem is and in this case very low. Just try to be a good example to them. Trust me they already know they are wrong and apparently is drowing in their sin. Pray that God will open their eyes and they will swim back to shore for the sake of children who may grow up and do the same thing.

Thank you. When something comes up in the Christian community that we are doing that is not what God intended and what HE straight up tells us is sin I see and hear a lot of us going to the "JUDGE NOT" quotes. That's a really nice SENTIMENT and I think that your kindness is great but I really wish people would stop with the "I don't JUDGE anyone".
First of all WE didn't write the bible or inspire it. God did and he said fornication is wrong.
Second of all, we all judge. What the verse Judge not lest ye be judged also is saying when it's taken in CONTEXT meaning ALL of it ,is that we are not to judge hypocritically. Don't talk to your brother about the speck in his eye if you have a beam in your eye. If you are doing the very thing you are trying to help someone out of (I'm looking at you Jesse Jackson, trying to council Bill Clinton) then you have a beam in your eye while trying to get the dust out of someone elses' eye. If you don't have illegitimate children and you are trying to help someone else avoid or stop that sin that's good. If you're are trying to help someone else avoid your fate that's great if you are all up in the same thing you are trying to tell someone else not to do that's DEAD WRONG. And for anyone else who does not judge please pm me the name of your bank, your account number and your password and don't worry about what I'm going to do with them. You have no right to judge , just hand over the info

 

[PrettyBrownEyes]

I hear what you are saying. You don't necessarily have to accept the behavior. What you do is pray for that person and the children.

You have a child out of wedlock. You understand that. You are working to better yourself. I am sure God forgave you for having a child out of wedlock. I have no doubt that you are a good mother. Still, if you happen to have another baby out of wedlock, you still don't deserve any harsh things said about you. You are human. If God can forgive us, so can our fellow man. For me, I would never judge you. Like you said you are a loving mother and that's good enough for me.

Thanks so much, Blu!