Hair Molesters- Natural vs. Relaxed Hair ( videos included)

[Ms Lala]

Hey Ladies,

I saw the funniest vid by Bubblinbrownsuga (aka ChakaKhanian) on youtube about hair touching. I define hair molestation as "unsolicited hair touching by a random person, complete stranger, co-worker, or other individual that I am not intimately acquainted with". The link to the video and my response are below. I'm just trying to understand if this is something that only happens to naturals or if relaxed ladies get this too? Please vote in the poll.

My response

Original Video

 

[davisbr88]

My hair has been molested mostly by white people... in elevators, on the metro, in class, etc. I think they think that since it's so "big" that I can't feel it or something.
Uh... I can.

 

[Ms Lala]

My hair has been molested mostly by white people... in elevators, on the metro, in class, etc. I think they think that since it's so "big" that I can't feel it or something.
Uh... I can.

I think it is sooo rude. Why do they think it is okay to just walk up and touch you?

 

[davisbr88]

I think it is sooo rude. Why do they think it is okay to just walk up and touch you?

At first, it really made me mad.
People that saw me on the regular in my apartment building were so surprised when they saw me step on the elevator with my curlies. I could literally feel the eyes piercing my scalp. Lol.
The first time it happened, I was PISSED. It was some guy on the bus. I whipped my head around so quick, he looked like he almost peed his pants. I went OFF on him. Lol.
Since then, though, I kind of think it's funny/cute. I really don't appreciate random people touching my hair but at the same time, I think it's so funny how much white people LOVE my hair (and I get compliments on it every time I go out. They just can't understand how I "got my hair like that." I live in a predominately white area btw) I have gotten a few comments from black people but usually it is other natural women, or guys who ask me how I got my waves when it's slicked back. Anyway, I have to say, it's kind of flattering. I'm not used to getting a lot of attention for the way I look and it kind of makes me feel good about myself. I never thought my hair would cause such a buzz.
Now, I'm not about to let some stranger rake their hands in my pores, but I usually just give someone who gently touches a curl a look to let them know I felt it. The immediate embarrassment they feel afterward is punishment enough without me cussing them out, and I doubt they'd do it to someone else.

 

[godsflowerrr]

I voted YES YES YES!!!! People always touch my hair and it doesn't even bother me anymore..lol

 

[ParagonTresses]

I get "hair molested" mostly when I'm wearing a W&G style. A few times it was still wet and the folks that touched it had the nerve to complain about the residue left on their hands.......keep yo hands to yoself and they wouldn't be wet, dang!

 

[Ms Lala]

At first, it really made me mad.
People that saw me on the regular in my apartment building were so surprised when they saw me step on the elevator with my curlies. I could literally feel the eyes piercing my scalp. Lol.
The first time it happened, I was PISSED. It was some guy on the bus. I whipped my head around so quick, he looked like he almost peed his pants. I went OFF on him. Lol.
Since then, though, I kind of think it's funny/cute. I really don't appreciate random people touching my hair but at the same time, I think it's so funny how much white people LOVE my hair (and I get compliments on it every time I go out. They just can't understand how I "got my hair like that." I live in a predominately white area btw) I have gotten a few comments from black people but usually it is other natural women, or guys who ask me how I got my waves when it's slicked back. Anyway, I have to say, it's kind of flattering. I'm not used to getting a lot of attention for the way I look and it kind of makes me feel good about myself. I never thought my hair would cause such a buzz.
Now, I'm not about to let some stranger rake their hands in my pores, but I usually just give someone who gently touches a curl a look to let them know I felt it. The immediate embarrassment they feel afterward is punishment enough without me cussing them out, and I doubt they'd do it to someone else.

I also hate when they do that because I'm concerned about my hair frizzing up. Hand touching=frizz.

I voted YES YES YES!!!! People always touch my hair and it doesn't even bother me anymore..lol

Girl you're better than me. I still don't like it.

I get "hair molested" mostly when I'm wearing a W&G style. A few times it was still wet and the folks that touched it had the nerve to complain about the residue left on their hands.......keep yo hands to yoself and they wouldn't be wet, dang!

LOL HOw are they going to get mad when they reached their hands in your head in the first place.

 

[LoveCraze]

Well I wore my hair in two afro puffs to work and my coworker (male) from the git go was like "I like your hair. I just want to squeeze it". I laughed it off but then when I was walking by later on, I felt a squeeze on my ball. I was like "Hey, don't squeeze my balls unless I can squeeze yours. " It was really funny, we like to play like that at my job so it's cool. But yeah, my ball was molested and I didn't really mind at all. I took it as a compliment because he thought they looked soft and cushiony, which is was.

 

[jamaica68]

I saw both videos yesterday, ChakaKhanian was pissed off. It usually happens to me when I wear my hair out which isn't that often. Sometimes I can tell when someone may try to touch my hair and I politely block them with my hands and say, "don't touch my hair".

 

[mz tracy 25]

lol why does it always have to be called something like "hair molested" or "hair porn"? wow

 

[Poohbear]

Yeah, my hair has been molested several times as a natural...by strangers, family, and friends....especially when it's in a fro or stretched out style... never really had anyone touched my hair when it was relaxed.

 

[Ms Lala]

Well I wore my hair in two afro puffs to work and my coworker (male) from the git go was like "I like your hair. I just want to squeeze it". I laughed it off but then when I was walking by later on, I felt a squeeze on my ball. I was like "Hey, don't squeeze my balls unless I can squeeze yours. " It was really funny, we like to play like that at my job so it's cool. But yeah, my ball was molested and I didn't really mind at all. I took it as a compliment because he thought they looked soft and cushiony, which is was.

That was a funny come back.

I saw both videos yesterday, ChakaKhanian was pissed off. It usually happens to me when I wear my hair out which isn't that often. Sometimes I can tell when someone may try to touch my hair and I politely block them with my hands and say, "don't touch my hair".

She did looked pissed.

lol why does it always have to be called something like "hair molested" or "hair porn"? wow

I used this word because I really feel violated when it happens and I think the definition of molest fits. I know people typically use it regarding things of a sexual nature but that's not the only definition for the word. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I'm a counselor and try to be sensitive to things of that nature but honestly, I feel violated. Me no likey the hair touching.

Yeah, my hair has been molested several times as a natural...by strangers, family, and friends....especially when it's in a fro or stretched out style... never really had anyone touched my hair when it was relaxed.

My fro ALWAYS gets touched or attempted touches.

 

[Carisa]

No, im relaxed and im wearing braids under wigs so my hair hasnt been out enough to be molested but ppl do molest my weave (i dnt know if that counts or not)

 

[chebaby]

when i first went natural people would touch my hair without asking but ive been natural almost 2 years now and it no longer happens.
i had no idea she had a youtube. off to watch because i love her hair.

 

[Ms Lala]

No, im relaxed and im wearing braids under wigs so my hair hasnt been out enough to be molested but ppl do molest my weave (i dnt know if that counts or not)

Hold up, they molest the weave?! Are they weave checking you?

 

[empressri]

When folks feel the need to tug on my hair, I wonder if they'd get mad if I tug back on their boobs or something. Touching is touching, I don't give a damn how good something looks it doesn't mean you can touch up on folks all willy nilly. I was hollering like a nut at work cause one girl tugged my braid, and SECONDS after I told her not to another chick came and did the same thing!!!

 

[delitefulmane]

A while back I had my hair out (think semi-big twist-out) and while going to the bank I ran into a friend's grandmama. She is a stylist, okay! So after I greeted her, she took BOTH her hands and mashed them into my hair!! I was like WHOA! As sweet as she is, she was about to get !! I was so mad when I got home! And I used your saying Lala, I told my family "my hair had just been molested"!!

 

[TaraDyan]

No I've never been hair molested, but I just came in here to say ...

DANG, LALA!! I friggin' love your hair!!!!!!

 

[Ms Lala]

When folks feel the need to tug on my hair, I wonder if they'd get mad if I tug back on their boobs or something. Touching is touching, I don't give a damn how good something looks it doesn't mean you can touch up on folks all willy nilly. I was hollering like a nut at work cause one girl tugged my braid, and SECONDS after I told her not to another chick came and did the same thing!!!

I think people don't view as personal as other parts of the body but to me it feels very violating.

A while back I had my hair out (think semi-big twist-out) and while going to the bank I ran into a friend's grandmama. She is a stylist, okay! So after I greeted her, she took BOTH her hands and mashed them into my hair!! I was like WHOA! As sweet as she is, she was about to get !! I was so mad when I got home! And I used your saying Lala, I told my family "my hair had just been molested"!!

LOL. Well I wouldn't get crunk w/the grandmama, I'd let her get a pass. LOL.

No I've never been hair molested, but I just came in here to say ...

DANG, LALA!! I friggin' love your hair!!!!!!

Thank you. I'm just curious do you wear your hair straight or pinned up mostly? My hair doesn't get molested when it's pinned up in a bun usually.

 

[niqu92]

im relaxed and i get hair molested all the time,,i actually get hair molested more now then when i was natural. but i remember one time when i was natural i was wearing my wash&go in a big bun and some white girl came up behind me and squeezed my bun&was like "does it hurt????!"

 

[TaraDyan]

Thank you. I'm just curious do you wear your hair straight or pinned up mostly? My hair doesn't get molested when it's pinned up in a bun usually.

As a natural, I typically wear my hair in a bun 90% of the time. But that other 10% of the time when it's down in a wash-n-go or twist out, nobody pays me any attention. I think it's because my hair is fine and thin. I just don't have that attention-grabbing, gravity defying hair that a lot of naturals have <insert sad face here>.

Now when I was transitioning, this lil' white dude scrunched one of my curls and exclaimed that he didn't know black girls could have such soft hair. Now that was a molestation coupled with an insult. erplexed

 

[kmn1980]

Natural and yes. To me the worst are the people who try to touch your hair while trying to seem like they aren't obviously trying to touch it.

 

[ellebelle88]

Natural and yes. To me the worst are the people who try to touch your hair while trying to seem like they aren't obviously trying to touch it.

I think I kinda know what you're getting at here. Could you elaborate more?

 

[BostonMaria]

I don't like it when people touch my hair. I never used to care but I think this forum has made me paranoid.

For the most part strangers don't touch my hair. What I do find more often, however, is people talking to my hair if it's BIG. Like you know when big breasted women complain that people stare at their breastasis when they're talking to them? Yeah like that but to my hair LOL

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[kmn1980]

I think I kinda know what you're getting at here. Could you elaborate more?

Like they'll come up on the side of you and act like they are either wiping something off of your blouse like lint coincidentally right by your hair, will pat you on the back coincidentally on top of your hair, give you a fake hug and when they release just happen to run their hand down your hair, etc...

 

[ellebelle88]

Like they'll come up on the side of you and act like they are either wiping something off of your blouse like lint coincidentally right by your hair, will pat you on the back coincidentally on top of your hair, give you a fake hug and when they release just happen to run their hand down your hair, etc...

I haven't had any of the interactions you listed except the last one. It kills me when people give me a hug and they pat my hair or put their hands around my head like they are hugging my hair knowing darn well they are weave-checking me. I have called at least two females out on it. Whenever I do that, they get really embarrassed and start stammering ...that'll teach them to keep their hands out of my hair!

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

Your hair is sooooo big and pretty and beautiful!!!

My hair was in a flat twistout and I felt someone pull on it from the back (I was on the bus) I look around and it was this white girl then she pulls her hand back and smiles at me like I know her or something.

 

[Carisa]

Hold up, they molest the weave?! Are they weave checking you?

Naw they dnt reach for the scalp! Most just touch the ends and caress the ponytail! Most of the time its men that do this so i dnt think they care they just wana feel somebody up

 

[iri9109]

yeah i hate when people touch my hair....a stranger or someone idk like that i'll say something to, but im usually to nice to say things to people i know...but just because we know each other doesnt mean you just touch my hair without asking...&then sometimes they touch it and i let it slide & then they tell other ppl something like "omg feel her hair, its so soft"...wtf, this isnt an exhibit! thats why when my hair gets longer imma keep it hidden in buns or updos most of the time.

 

[havilland]

i get molested all the time.....my own hair.....my weave....my wigs....i hate it!