Henrilou

[carmella25]

henrilou

Hi,
My name is Carmella. I remember your from longhairlovers.com in 2001 when I was going on there for hair care help. I never really posted but I always liked when you post because you gave me confidence that I can grow my hair out.

One post that you wrote I even printed it out and put it in my hair journal was

I am a regular black (meaning no mix or anything) and come from nothing special. My hair has never been anything close to long.
Its 24 inches now (that's like a little past bra-strap) It took about 3 years. I like to say this because screw those people who say that black people cant grow hair. Please. Yes you can. You have to give up those real fancy hairstyles, but yes, you can. Nobody in my family has any hair to brag on. Thats because they didnt know, and didnt care. So you CAN do this.

That post has always inspired me when I get down about my hair.

Thanks

 

[pebbles]

Hi Carmella25,

I just want to chime in and tell you that I find henrilou to be a real inspiration as well. She let me know early on that my hair goals were not impossible.

You're right, that is a very inspiring entry from henrilou.
She really does give hope to all of us not born from family with lots of hair. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[henrilou]

AWWWWWW.... Thanks.
But really I mean it. Anybody can grow some long hair because I did. There is not one member in my family that I can look to and say, "now she had good hair". Nope. So like I said I don't know about waist length there may be some limits, but I think bra/strap is for EVERY HEAD of HAIR, but we (us--you know who I mean) don't see it because we kill it off by styling. The growth is there, but the ends fall off because we "bump" them to death.
So. It's a change of lifestyle and what we normally think of as hair styling. But, yes you can and should expect to have a healthy head of bra/strap hair.

 

[MSCHICHI]

I used to frequent Longhairlovers too.

I think that passage from Henrilou is both sad and beautiful.

What is even worse sometimes is when someone "comes from a family with lots of hair," re-phrasing Pebbles phrase. Hopefully this is not going too off-topic.

My mother's family is very color-struck and into long straight hair, which to them meant "good hair." Many of them could pass for white. My mother was the same. However she "married dark," which only meant my father was medium brown-skinned with what Henrilou would say is "regular" Black people's hair. I came out very light, with a thick head of fine, tightly-curled hair. My mother hated it. She said she had hoped my hair wouldn't "turn," and commented that she was very upset when it did some months after I was born.

Hairdressers didn't know what to do with it. Between them and her, I was bald in spots 2 times and my hair always short and broken. By the time I was 6, my mother had broken all my hair off, and cut it short. A third time I was older and a hairdresser I went to did the same thing, thinking I "needed" a super because my hair was so thick-taking my hairline out and plug of hair in the back /images/graemlins/shocked.gif. I went through years of bad relaxing jobs and even Jheri curls. The family was so funny about it, that when I was 6, my aunt didn't want me to be in her wedding because my hair wasn't up to par in her eyes. Nobody else in her family has the same hairtype as me. Being in a situation like that was very tramatizing. Even my half-sister's hair was past her butt at 4 years old and this made my mother really look at me crazy.

When I got to college, I started wearing extremely long (straight or curly) weaves. The crazy thing was that no matter what I said, everybody automatically assumed it was mine or would forget later because of my complexion and features. When I would take my weave out, they would say, "Why do you keep cutting your hair?" /images/graemlins/smirk.gif They didn't understand that it kept breaking off. It never ocurred to those people that just because someone might have a different mixture going on, that they would still have just as much trouble retaining length. Its all about the hairtype you were born with, and how much knowledge you have about how to take care of it.

My hair has never even gotten to my brastrap. All I ever wanted was long hair of my own. That brought me to cut all my hair off 2 and 1/2 years ago and start over. I learned that my hair doesn't react well to a relaxer because it is so fine. I learned how to do my hair, and like some people have said, it isn't even that hard to take care of it now.

I am certain that with proper care and prayer, I will attain my goal, because I am armed with the information I need to get there. Oh, and I have a forum full of hair sisters to support me /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Armyqt]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
All I ever wanted was long hair of my own.

[/ QUOTE ]

Girl you almost broke me down right there. My heart goes out to you for having to endure those years of negativity about your hair. It is sad, but true. Many young girls experience this. But like you said, thank God for this board. It is definitely empowering. And after all, we all know it can be done, and each and everytime a sister does it, we prove "them" wrong. You are really something special. /images/graemlins/smile.gifHappy Hair Growing!

 

[henrilou]

Amen. It's hard for every black women made to feel unspecial because of her "bad" hair. In our culture so much esteem rides on our hair. And I really understand MsChiChi when she says how alone she felt. Some of the stuff on this board is so touching, I mean I feel so close to someone who writes that they were broken-hearted over her hair. I am so glad that I have found this place, so I can finally fit in with my hair hopes.

 

[MSCHICHI]

(sigh)

I love you guys. Thank you for all the support. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Nessa]

right on, sistas, right on

 

[cutebajangirl]

I just wanted to say that being "regular black" is special.

MsChichi your story made me tear up. It is amazing the damage we do to our selves as a people. As someone who is lightskinned I get alot of the same from people who say it is such a shame that I didn't get "good hair" to match with the color.

I saw a mom and her 2 little girls getting their hair done in the salaon and the mom and one girl had hair in the 2b/3a range and the other had 4b. So you know how 4b can be really flat sometimes right after a relaxer. So the mom and the other sister (their hair came out really bouncy)were making fun of the one with the 4b hair and it was like you could totally watch the girl's self-esteem plummeting. So of course I open my mouth and start telling the girl to not worry that after it gets washed again it will be bouncy that there is nothing wrong with her hair. The mother then cusses me out and leaves the salon. I guess heaven forbid someone try to point out the beauty of type 4 hair.

 

[Tracy]

For every friend that I have cried with because in this world her skin was too dark and her hair too wooly....

For every time I have been targeted for negativity by a dark skinned sister who hated me because of the things other people have said to her all her life...

For everyone, everywhere that has EVER felt less than for any reason..

I'm glad for the Henrilou's of the world and for the paradigms that shift because of them. I aspire to do the same as much as possible in my own little ways.

Thanks Henrilou

(and Carmella for bringing it to the board

)

 

[SVT]

What a great thread! I can feel the lurve!

 

[Nessa]

cutebajangirl,

How is that mom gonna cuss you out. What did you do? All you did was helping that girl. And that woman cusses you out. I couldn't be you I would cuss her right back. But then again the mother may have been mad that you were talkin to her daughter. BUt then again I would cuss back.


Anywaze, I am proud of all the ladies who are doing their best to have health in their hair. THank God that their are hair boards, and we are learning from the best.

 

[sassygirl125]

[ QUOTE ]
Being in a situation like that was very tramatizing.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm sure it was. Hell, just reading it was traumatizing! I'm mad at people I don't even know! My heart goes out to you. Just wait until your hair is bouncing against your back when you walk! You'll show them!

 

[serena]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't know about waist length there may be some limits, but I think bra/strap is for EVERY HEAD of HAIR.

[/ QUOTE ]

I totally agree. You're right up there with Adrienne as one of my hair sheroes, Henrilou.

 

[ms_kenesha]

Henrilou,

I also read that same post that you made and it gave me hope. My father's side of the family has "good" hair and I wasn't "lucky" enough to get it. My hair has never been close to bra strap, the longest it ever was was about two inches past my shoulder. My hair has now reached shoulder length again and I can't wait until it's even longer. Sometimes I catch mysel thinking my hair's never gonne be as long as ________! But I try to stop myself from thinking negatively about my hair, but I believe it can happen and "knowing" people like Henrilou is what gives me hope! Thanks for being my real world inspiration!

 

[henrilou]

Gosh, this is a nice thread. So listen, for the summer: take those vitamins (even just a multi CONSISTENTLY will help) put the hair up, go SLOW during comb-outs (or you'll rip out all your work) and let me know what's happening. I'll be doing the same.

 

[Nessa]

What if you can't take vitamins. And henrilou I sent you a private message.