I have a dilemma.....

[Ebonygurl00]

I came home from the salon a few hours ago, so I've calmed down a little. I had a horrible salon experience today! I got a touch-up after 9 weeks, and I only go when I need a touch-up. She puts the perm on without basing, so that was no-no #1. She then proceeded to run the relaxer all through my hair, stopping just short of the ends. My scalp was screaming bloody murder, but when I told her, all she did was spray some kind of oil sheen on my scalp, which made it burn worse. Finally, she rinsed it off when she noticed that my scalp was really red. My scalp has never had so many sores on it. Afterwards, she combs me out with this tiny-toothed comb from the roots down to the ends very roughly. I could hear my poor hair breaking. I looked at the comb, and it was FULL of my hair. She then puts me under a HOT hooded dryer, THEN blow-drys me with the handheld blowdryer even though my hair and scalp was dry as sin already. Then she flat-irons my hair like in that video that was posted a few days ago. THEN she tells me that I need a trim, so she CUTS my hair!! Aferwards, she tells me that my ends were looking great, she just wanted to cut my hair into a "style." She cut my hair to my shoulders. My hair was cut to shoulder-length in May, so I lost 4 months of progress. She charged me $85 ($10 of it for my "cut"), and I left. I complained to my mom about it, and she said that she did the SAME exact thing to her yesterday!! My mom didn't tell me! She cut my mom's hair into this HORRIBLE cut. It's an inch long in front, and shoulder-length in back. Anyways, I told my mom that I wanted to start relaxing my own hair. She said NO, because the professional should do it, and because she made my hair look "nice." All my mom cares about is if my hair looks nice, not if it's healthy. So now I don't know what to do. My mom won't let me self-relax, and my hair breaks after the 8-week point. I need some advice! Sorry this is so long, I'm so upset!!

 

[Dannygirl]

YIKES! scarrryyyyyy Got TRUSTED FREIND? ask if they could do it...? maybe

 

[Ebonygurl00]

YIKES! scarrryyyyyy Got TRUSTED FREIND? ask if they could do it...? maybe

Unfortunately, I don't have any friends that could do it. I wish!

 

[yourleoqueen]

Okay, a)Your mom won't let you self-relax? How old are you?

2) when you saw her coming toward your head with that perm you should have said something! If she had refused to base you, you should have got up and left, then and there!

and III) This woman LIED to you just so you would let her cut your hair = she is not to be trusted = you should NOT EVUH go back to her.

Balisi did a great post on how to have a happy salon experience, you should read it. She gives alot of helpful tips.

 

[Dannygirl]

mmm... ask some of ya girlfreinds for any ideals for a new stylist cause what is the point of going through all this work and have it cut by some carless stylest?

 

[Ebonygurl00]

Okay, a)Your mom won't let you self-relax? How old are you?

And 2) when you saw her coming toward your head with that perm you should have said something! If she had refused to base you, you should have got up and left, then and there!

Balisi did a great post on how to have a happy salon experience, you should read it. She gives alot of helpful tips.

I'm 18, but I live with my parents, and they're the type that says, "Our house, our rules." I can't wait to move out! I read that thread, I don't know why I didn't take the advice. I just wanted it to be over. Well, one thing is certain, I'm never going back there. Thanks for the advice!

 

[Ebonygurl00]

mmm... ask some of ya girlfreinds for any ideals for a new stylist cause what is the point of going through all this work and have it cut by some carless stylest?

Well, I don't have many black female friends, and the one's I do have go to salons where the stylist ruins their hair. I just feel like all my hard work went to waste. Thanks for the advice!

 

[Tee]

I see you are 18 and it seems like you might feel you need to bend your mom's way in order to keep the peace. I would start looking and asking for referrals for someone who knows how to take care of hair. I see you know what is bad for your hair. Have a consultation with the person first. If you have to pay more, it will be better for the health of your hair. Everything this woman did sounds horrible. I want to say talk to her and let her know what you want done but she seems like she is going to do what she wants to do. (Like cutting your darn hair then telling you later that you didn't need it. That was dirty!)

I wish you the best with finding someone else to do you hair and still keeping peace in your life.

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

hi ebonygirl, wow thats another salon horror story,,, if you want to do your hair yourself you have GOOD reason! your scalp is being damaged and your hair and your paying money for that to happen,, maybe you can find another hairdresser but u shouldnt continue payings someone whos doing more harm than good,,, good luck......

 

[MizaniMami]

Go over a friend's house and relax. that way you will have help when you need it. Technically you won't be in her house so you won't be breaking her rules.

Everytime I read one of these stories I can't believe that people actually sit there while a stylist is literally pulling out months worth of hard work...

People puhlease say something. It's YOUR HAIR.

 

[Tee]

I'm 18, but I live with my parents, and they're the type that says, "Our house, our rules." I can't wait to move out! I read that thread, I don't know why I didn't take the advice. I just wanted it to be over. Well, one thing is certain, I'm never going back there. Thanks for the advice!

I didnt see this post before I sent mine but I could read all this in your first post without you saying it. I had a aunt who wouldn't listen to anything I said concerning my hair. (Yeah, I was still young then.) When she chopped my hair off and refused to admit she even cut it at all, I vowed to never let her put her hands in my head again. 13 years later, that aunt and I will will not even discuss hair! She did my hair for about 7 years. I think I was 19 or so when I let her go. You have to make a stand but I know it's hard when you have limitations. Hang in there.

 

[MrsHouston]

Sweetheart you need to be more proactive about your hair care. It is "your" hair not the stylist. Try to be more vocal about what you want and don't want with your hair stylist. If she's about to put relaxer on your hair and she hasn't even put the base on, stop her in her tracks...say no (actually I would have left, because any reputable stylist knows to base you first). Ask her what she is doing at every interval of your salon visit. If it's not something you want tell her not to do it. Be polite, but speak up for yourself!

I hope you much success in finding a better salon. You should see if anyone on this site could recommend one in your area.

 

[Ebonygurl00]

Thanks for the replies, ladies! Yeah, it's really hard when you have to abide by parents rules. I'll try to find a friends house to go over and do it. Honestly, they'd think I was crazy. Most of my friends are Hispanic, so they don't understand relaxers. I could try it, though. I really do with I would've said something! It's been drilled in my head by my parents that professionals are always right, no matter what. That's why my mom will continue to go to this woman. Letitia, thanks for that story! That's exactly how I feel with my mom. I'm just going to tell my mom that next time, I'll be relaxing my hair myself. I really do need to stop going to stylist. Thanks again, everyone!

 

[Tee]

YW Ebondygurl.

 

[LAYDEE]

Go over a friend's house and relax. that way you will have help when you need it. Technically you won't be in her house so you won't be breaking her rules.

Everytime I read one of these stories I can't believe that people actually sit there while a stylist is literally pulling out months worth of hard work...

People puhlease say something. It's YOUR HAIR.

ITA! Iam so sorry to hear about your experience Ebonygurl00 but at the same time, i feel that you should've stopped the woman from putting that relaxer in your hair without applying base. With all the advice given and received on LHCF you should've known better. Sorry if it sounds like im scolding you or being harsh-but that is YOUR hair-a person is only going to do what YOU ALLOW them to do. Of course you shouldn't go to that salon again--but what's going to happen at the next salon? You need to speak up-you're the customer-its your way or no way!!

 

[Dannygirl]

i love my stylest she all about health of the hair and she wont even DARE cut my hair without even asking how much i want off... its really if u look around and i dont have many black freinds eaither and honesty if all elese fails you can always get it permed and then go to like a hair cutter and ask them to cut your dead ends

 

[Ebonygurl00]

[/B]

ITA! Iam so sorry to hear about your experience Ebonygurl00 but at the same time, i feel that you should've stopped the woman from putting that relaxer in your hair without applying base. With all the advice given and received on LHCF you should've known better. Sorry if it sounds like im scolding you or being harsh-but that is YOUR hair-a person is only going to do what YOU ALLOW them to do. Of course you shouldn't go to that salon again--but what's going to happen at the next salon? You need to speak up-you're the customer-its your way or no way!!

I know, I already said that I agree. I'm not going to anymore salons.

 

[MrsHouston]

Go over a friend's house and relax. that way you will have help when you need it. Technically you won't be in her house so you won't be breaking her rules.

Everytime I read one of these stories I can't believe that people actually sit there while a stylist is literally pulling out months worth of hard work...

People puhlease say something. It's YOUR HAIR.

Amen Sister, thank you MizaniMami...I can't believe "LHCF members" are allowing this to happen. It's just too much effort for nothing...to let some stylist steal your "joy".

 

[MrsHouston]

I know, I already said that I agree. I'm not going to anymore salons.

Don't give up dear...take charge...make a post here on LHCF to see if someone here in your area can recommend a salon for you. I wish you lived in my area, I'd take you to my stylist.

I'll be praying for you.

 

[Ebonygurl00]

Amen Sister, thank you MizaniMami...I can't believe "LHCF members" are allowing this to happen. It's just too much effort for nothing...to let some stylist steal your "joy".

I spoke up a while ago at another salon (I was around 15) and instead of the stylist getting reprimanded by my parents, I did. I know what happens in my family when you speak up for yourself. I do consider myself a member here, I guess I just have to learn to lose the habits that I was raised on.....

 

[LAYDEE]

I know, I already said that I agree. I'm not going to anymore salons.

my bad-was typing when previous post were posted.
Dont let that one bad visit push you away from all salons Ebony. There are some good salons out there. Do some research. One of the ladies suggested that you ask some LCHFers for some suggestions on salons they frequent-try that.

 

[shunta]

I spoke up a while ago at another salon (I was around 15) and instead of the stylist getting reprimanded by my parents, I did. I know what happens in my family when you speak up for yourself. I do consider myself a member here, I guess I just have to learn to lose the habits that I was raised on.....

Yeah I can understand what you mean. Youre only 18 right? I must say that when I was 18 I was still under my parents rules, since I did live with them erplexed

 

[BerrySweet]

I woulda beat her to death with that blow dryer and then been on the daggone news (I'd also be a post in the OT board too lol). But seriously, search the board for self relaxer tips (or PM SistaSlick), and start learning. And don't ever go back to this woman. Had you gone to her before? Don't be sad babe, this is a learning experience. Now you know!

 

[Ebonygurl00]

Thanks for all the tips! I've been reading the self-relaxing threads. When I finally convince my mom to let me, I'll PM SistaSlick for all the details. One thing I've noticed about my hair today, though: it's never been this thick/full. My NG is very thick and coarse, but my relaxed hair has always been thin. I'm convinced it's because I've stopped using heat for the last 2 months. This has been a learning experience for me. My ends are very healthy, and my hair is full now, so I can start from scratch. I started growing my hair out with thin ends and breakage, and now my hair is in great condition. Thanks again, ladies!

 

[Kimberly]

I hate that this happened to you. I am with many of the other members that you will have to learn to speak up for yourself, however, many of us did not learn or find the courage to do this until we were much older than you currently are so I wouldn't worry too much about that.

I just wish we had an experienced, knowledgeable member in your area that you could buddy up with to help you out with your relaxers. We should at least be able to find someone who can recommend a good stylist or salon in your area.

Good luck with your hair journey. I think most of us have experienced various setbacks along the way but it's all a learning experience. Next time, before you even sit down, I'm sure you will say something along the lines of "I burned badlyl last time so base me really good, please"

 

[mango387]

I hate that this happened to you. I am with many of the other members that you will have to learn to speak up for yourself, however, many of us did not learn or find the courage to do this until we were much older than you currently are so I wouldn't worry too much about that.

I just wish we had an experienced, knowledgeable member in your area that you could buddy up with to help you out with your relaxers. We should at least be able to find someone who can recommend a good stylist or salon in your area.

Good luck with your hair journey. I think most of us have experienced various setbacks along the way but it's all a learning experience. Next time, before you even sit down, I'm sure you will say something along the lines of "I burned badlyl last time so base me really good, please"[/QUOTE]

This is really good advice. That way, she gets her point across without appearing to be disrespectful. Another thing the OP could do is to base her own scalp and then go to the salon for the touch-up. I do not think your parents or the beautician would have a problem with that.

 

[balisi]

Another thing the OP could do is to base her own scalp and then go to the salon for the touch-up. I do not think your parents or the beautician would have a problem with that.

That's right, people do this more often than you would think. I understand how traumatized you must be from this horrendous experience. Everything that stylist did was unconscionable. But instead of vowing to stay away from all salons and stylists, vow to stay away from BAD salons and stylists.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

Hey Ebonygurl00, I wouldn't say disobey your parents, I would suggest trying to convince your mom that you can do a better job. Does she know about this site (LHCF)? if not show her some of the gorgeous heads of hair here, and that should be enough for her to trust that you can learn to do your own hair. If that doesn't work then start looking for a new stylist now.
[quote/mizanimami]Everytime I read one of these stories I can't believe that people actually sit there while a stylist is literally pulling out months worth of hard work...

People puhlease say something. It's YOUR HAIR.[quote/miznimami]

 

[Ebonygurl00]

Thanks for the suggestions! I'll definitely tell the stylist that I burned badly last time. I would still love to do my own relaxers, though. I really wish there was a member that lived near me that could help! That would solve my problems. I haven't showed my mom this site, I think I will. Thanks again!