i think im gonna relax, lord help me

L

L.Brown1114

Well-Known Member
well texlax. i straightened my hair today and it looked a hot mess. it also took ALL DAY to do it. i really wanan stay natural and i love my curls but i dont want them all the time. i don have the money to BKT its against my religion to pay all that damn money for something temperary. i blow dried my hair first and flat ironed it and my ends are shot but other than that my hair is WAY too thick and it looks like a straight afro :nono:
idk what to do! my main concern is some dumb stylists relaxing my hair straight and me cursing her out in the middle of the salon! so i was also thinking of buying just for me and doing it myself. idk what i should do??
 
I texlax my hair with no problems. I use Mizani Butter Blends and leave the relaxer on for eight or nine minutes before rinsing. I love it because my hair is so versatile.
 
Go to a hair stylist and explain to her VERY slowly and clearly what you want. Even if you come off as a B at least she'll know exactly what you want. Even bring a picture (if you can find one) of the results that you want. If you know that THAT picture is possible to achieve and she tells you something along the lines of "i'll try but I'm not sure it'll come out like that" then you need to get up and leave because you know she won't feel like she should be held accountable for your hair coming out the way you DIDNT want.

Good luck!
 
Ask some sisters with healthy relaxed hair to recommend a stylist. I feel ya on the natural. The washing and conditioning was beautiful while my hair was a twa, but as it grew. The tangles were crazy. One minute comb and the next curled right back up. After 6 months, it was more conducive to relax that curl. Best Wishes.

India
 
i'm not very good with straightening my own hair either so i go to the salon for a press or for them to blow dry it straight. it didn't last long but they did a very good job. it was straight like i had a perm but i could go back to being kinky if i wanted. it's weird because my curls reverted when washing out a salon press but when i did it myself, my curls wouldn't revert even though i had used a heat protectant unlike the stylist. after that experience, i realized that it is best to go to someone that you trust and meanwhile you can look for more info on how to do it yourself. texturizers are the second best way to keep the kinks intact (i heard that if left too long, they could straighten some parts of the hair so be careful-i would ask other members for info).
 
i forgot to add that maybe you can try one of those natural mixtures that loosen the curl. i think the one with molasses (the yum caramel thread has recipes). if you loosen your curl, it'll be easier to straighten but you can always go back to the kinks. i would try that before any chemicals since you said you want to keep your texture
 
L you just bc'd right? Why did you bc? If it was due to damage from a relaxer then you may not want to go down that road again.

Honestly i think you need to have a little more patience with your hair and get to know it a little better.

What is your length right now?
 
So because your press didn't come out to your liking on your second try you wanna tex-lax?:ohwell: Thats a bit of a leap.

Why not start a thread asking how you can improve on your straightening technique?

*shrugs* Oh well, do you.
 
Hijack alert: JNSQ your hair makes me ...♪♪weak at the knees, I can hardly speak...♪ :drool:

What you, OP, describe is what used to happen to me when I pressed my hair until I discovered the controversial wet-to-dry pressing.

I don't blowdry before I flat iron, so I don't think that's necessary. I stretch my hair without heat either by letting it dry in braids or lately, using Curlformers. I also believe in wet-to-dry flat ironing and when I used heat protectants instead of just water, I had a wonderful press.

I DC'd with Giovanni Magnetic and AO GPB on dry hair then shampooed with Garnier (I was thinking of strengthening my hair as much as possible). Then I started my heat protection process:
  • First I conditioned with CHI Infra Thermal Treatment, applying it as if it were relaxer on very small sections at a time and combing through with a fine tooth comb. Left that on as long as instructions say then rinsed leaving hair wet.
  • Next I airdried/stretched in CFs before starting my WTD press but instead of using water as I have always done, I used a wet heat protectant spray by John Frieda which I made sure to coat each strand VERY well. And passed the iron once on each CF section and got a blown-out effect.
  • Once all sections were done, I started from the back working on very narrow sections that I made sure were coated very well with heat protectant serum to seal and passed the iron once again.

I had NO smell of burning hair any time during the process or even after. And my hair looks thicker and more tightly coiled than yours.

This was where I started:
rabouttorinsebeforeflatironing-vi.jpg


And this was where I ended up:
flatironthroughhaironemoretime-vi.jpg


As BlackCardinal said, it takes practice.

DON'T QUIT

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown​
 
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L, I was just going to mention you may want to give your hair a little bit of time. Your hair may still be in shock from the BC or you may have scab hair, but over time your hair may start behaving differently than it does now. So I would rethink why I went natural, but ultimately do what makes you happy.
 
L.Brown1114 said:
idk what to do! my main concern is some dumb stylists relaxing my hair straight and me cursing her out in the middle of the salon! so i was also thinking of buying just for me and doing it myself. idk what i should do??
Click to expand...
Natural hair is going to be hard to straighten because you are trying to take your hair from type 4 to type 1 with heat. There are techniques that others have shared that you can use to make heat straightening easier, but go easy on the heat, because you will damage your hair, if you heat straighten too often. Try roller sets, twist-outs, and braid-outs for more stretched out hair.

If you do decide to relax:

Tex-laxing is definitely the way to go.

Do not do it yourself. The first time is really important because you will be relaxing the whole head (after this, relaxers will be applied only to the new growth).

Go to a salon that is well-known for tex-laxing. Do not go to some random salon that does relaxers and just ask them to leave yours in for less time. You need people who know what they are doing with timing and mixing the relaxer. I go to Ouidad, who mixes the relaxer with a deep conditioning treatment and varies the amount of relaxer according to the hair type she is dealing with. The results are great. The first time I got a relaxer, I went to Curve salon. Terrible idea. :nono: Get it right the first time, so you do not have to grow out damage.
 
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Tenins said:
Natural hair is going to be hard to straighten because you are trying to take your hair from type 4 to type 1 with heat. There are techniques that others have shared that you can use to make heat straightening easier, but go easy on the heat, because you will damage your hair, if you heat straighten too often. Try roller sets, twist-outs, and braid-outs for more stretched out hair.

If you do decide to relax:

Tex-laxing is definitely the way to go.

Do not do it yourself. The first time is really important because you will be relaxing the whole head (after this, relaxers will be applied only to the new growth).

Go to a salon that is well-known for tex-laxing. Do not go to some random salon that does relaxers and just ask them to leave yours in for less time. You need people who know what they are doing with timing and mixing the relaxer. I go to Ouidad, who mixes the relaxer with a deep conditioning treatment and varies the amount of relaxer according to the hair type she is dealing with. The results are great. The first time I got a relaxer, I went to Curve salon. Terrible idea. :nono: Get it right the first time, so you do not have to grow out damage.
Click to expand...

Great post and I wholeheartedly agree. If you don't know how to straighten your hair properly, you could be risking heat damage. Trust me I know.

Texlaxing, IMO, is the easiest route. My texlaxed hair is in my siggy. As you can see, my hair still looks like I am a natural and straightening my hair is a breeze.
 
Je Ne Sais Quoi said:
L you just bc'd right? Why did you bc?
Click to expand...

I have been following your threads since your BC and there seems to be a recurrent theme that you have not fully embraced yourself as a natural head:

One of your threads expressed concern about having your father's texture.

Another one expressed concern that you couldn't create a wave pattern in your hair.

You've created a couple of threads about straightening your hair soon after your BC.

I think texlaxing/relaxing would be a good option for you; because imo you didn't mentally transition (as evidenced by your threads) and a mental transition is needed in order to accept, appreciate, and love your natural curls.
 
Do what works for you

I'd give it more time though, or go to a salon for a press. I'm horrible at straightening my hair, the salon is the only option for me
 
The first time I straightened my hair, I looked like a lion with a huge straight mane LOL

It takes time to get down a good technique, the right combination of products, so unless you just want to texlax anyway, I would suggest waiting a bit and then trying again.
 
You've only had natural hair since February. Its going to take a while to get used to your hair. Keep experimenting and playing around with it.

I rollerset my hair before I flatiron it. It makes it so much easier to comb through, plus my hairstyle lasts longer. It might be all in the technique you used. Maybe you need to go on Youtube and find a different way to straighten your hair. You see all the ladies here with straight hair that you would swear relaxed their hair.

Don't know how long you transitioned, but to me it would seem like a waste if you relax at this point after all that hard work. Maybe try going to a salon and have them press it. Straight hair can definitely be done if you have time and patience. I wish you luck! Hang in there.
 
After transitioning for 8 months, I'm texlaxing this weekend. I'm going to a stylist that a friend uses and I've spoken to the stylist at length about what I want the outcome to be. I got a few eye rolls from some family members about stoping my transition but the final decision is mine and mine alone. So i say think about it and do what you trully feel is best.
 
wow there are soo many mixed reviews!! i may just go to a professional and have it straightened and if that doesnt work out then i'll texlax because i want versitility and if i cant have my hair straight AND curly than i dont want it. the whole point i hated being relaxed is because i didnt like having perminent straight hair and i dont want perminent curly either. i didnt have damage it was just limp and boring. but natural isnt for everyone at least i can say i tried it. if i do texlax and i know what my true texture is @ least ill know which is more than i can say for some. i LOVE my natural hair, its just i BC's on impulse right after my uncle died. i needed to control something and my hair was the only thing i had control over. so maybe i didnt transition mentally but i have my whole life to be natural, doesnt have to happen right now. and to me it wasnt a waste of time and effort i see everything as a lesson learned
 
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Hey girl, whatever you do at least you know your natural texture. Many people don't have the courage to BC and try the natural thing, so you deserve that much.

Anyway, I'm still trying to save your natural hair :laugh: so here's what I think

If you're gonna texlax at a salon, how much will that cost? Because it could possibly cost the same amt (if you shop around) to get a do-it-yourself BKT kit. And maybe you could do that till your hair gets longer and curls elongate-- cuz when I BC'd my curls looked in the 4's, now that my hair is longer it looks in the 3's and is easier to deal with since it's longer

At least the BKT isn't permanent and you'll have more time to think, because once you go texlax/relax it's over after that. Definitely not something to do impulsively (not saying you are, but I BC'd a few times impulsively and went back to relaxing/texlaxing impulsively over some frustrations and always regretted-- not saying you will.

Anyway, I think a DIY BKT is a good way to go for now, it'll solve your problem for now and give you more time to think

eta: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=466268&highlight=softliss+bkt
 
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L.Brown1114 said:
well texlax. i straightened my hair today and it looked a hot mess. it also took ALL DAY to do it. i really wanan stay natural and i love my curls but i dont want them all the time. i don have the money to BKT its against my religion to pay all that damn money for something temperary. i blow dried my hair first and flat ironed it and my ends are shot but other than that my hair is WAY too thick and it looks like a straight afro :nono:
idk what to do! my main concern is some dumb stylists relaxing my hair straight and me cursing her out in the middle of the salon! so i was also thinking of buying just for me and doing it myself. idk what i should do??
Click to expand...


I'm with ya sista! I take my hat off to the natural ladies with 4a/4b hair!!! I can't do it!!!! I sweat too much in my head
 
L,
FIrst off, don't say you really wanna stay natural if ur making a thread about texlaxing.

It's one or the other.

If you want to texlax, go for it, but IN MY OPINION, texlaxing due to a failed straightening attempt is just plain silly. If you truly just wanna texlax to texlax then do it.

If you truly want to stay natural, then do it. For BKT you can do it on your own instead of going to pay all that money (and goin against your religion lol, that was cute) buy on ebay like the girls here and spend a day doing it.
If you want to get good at straightening your hair then you'll have to get your techniques down.

You went natural for a reason. Try to stick it out and get your straightening skills on point before you go to something drastic and toxic.

There are a shipload of threads here about straightening natural hair. Tons of tips!

I say get yourself a maxiglide!
 
L.Brown1114 said:
wow there are soo many mixed reviews!! i may just go to a professional and have it straightened and if that doesnt work out then i'll texlax because i want versitility and if i cant have my hair straight AND curly than i dont want it. the whole point i hated being relaxed is because i didnt like having perminent straight hair and i dont want perminent curly either. i didnt have damage it was just limp and boring. but natural isnt for everyone at least i can say i tried it. if i do texlax and i know what my true texture is @ least ill know which is more than i can say for some. i LOVE my natural hair, its just i BC's on impulse right after my uncle died. i needed to control something and my hair was the only thing i had control over. so maybe i didnt transition mentally but i have my whole life to be natural, doesnt have to happen right now. and to me it wasnt a waste of time and effort i see everything as a lesson learned
Click to expand...

Sounds like you're talking yourself out of being natural.
Keep working on your straightening skills. (goin to a pro may not give you the results you want either, and you'll be mad you paid for it)
 
L.Brown1114 said:
wow there are soo many mixed reviews!! i may just go to a professional and have it straightened and if that doesnt work out then i'll texlax because i want versitility and if i cant have my hair straight AND curly than i dont want it. the whole point i hated being relaxed is because i didnt like having perminent straight hair and i dont want perminent curly either. i didnt have damage it was just limp and boring. but natural isnt for everyone at least i can say i tried it. if i do texlax and i know what my true texture is @ least ill know which is more than i can say for some. i LOVE my natural hair, its just i BC's on impulse right after my uncle died. i needed to control something and my hair was the only thing i had control over. so maybe i didnt transition mentally but i have my whole life to be natural, doesnt have to happen right now. and to me it wasnt a waste of time and effort i see everything as a lesson learned
Click to expand...

We're born with this hair so I can't agree with you on the bolded. Of course we can agree to disagree. I think that maybe you're right, you BC'd too soon and didn't transition mentally. I had to transition about 9 times before I got it down right and was able to go all the way, it'll be year #3 in September. You can texlax and then try again in a few years if you want to. At the end of the day its just hair. I wish you luck!
 
i was wondering when you were finally gonna do it. good luck on your relaxed journey. if you ever try the natural thing again, i hope you're happy with it. ♥
 
I completely agree Whimsy. OP, do what's best for you, and don't attempt to justify you decision, if texlaxed hair is what you really want :yep:. But first, I would strongly advise that you consider some helpful straightening tips.

- Stretch your hair as much as possible prior to flat-ironing. Use whatever method works best for you, banding, blow-drying, etc
- Flat-iron in very thin layered sections. I'm talking less that 1/4" thick. This helps to direct heat much closer towards your roots
- Use the chase method. This was seriously the most profound discovery ever found in all of hair history. Period. It helps to get your ends straight and applies an even amount of heat over your hair.
- Use straightening or smoothing lines in addition to heat protectants.

Whimsy said:
L,
FIrst off, don't say you really wanna stay natural if ur making a thread about texlaxing.

It's one or the other.

If you want to texlax, go for it, but IN MY OPINION, texlaxing due to a failed straightening attempt is just plain silly. If you truly just wanna texlax to texlax then do it.

If you truly want to stay natural, then do it. For BKT you can do it on your own instead of going to pay all that money (and goin against your religion lol, that was cute) buy on ebay like the girls here and spend a day doing it.
If you want to get good at straightening your hair then you'll have to get your techniques down.

You went natural for a reason. Try to stick it out and get your straightening skills on point before you go to something drastic and toxic.

There are a shipload of threads here about straightening natural hair. Tons of tips!

I say get yourself a maxiglide!
Click to expand...
 
I'll send you 2oz of Marcia Teixiera regular BKT if you pay the shipping ($5).

You just need to PM me.
 
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