Why Won't My Hair Relax? Help!

[Angelicus]

My hair just won't take a relaxer. I've tried four different relaxers and three different stylists in the past 2 3/4 years. Here is my story.

My hair used to be extremely overprocessed from Dark n'Lovely No-Lye relaxer (mommie put it in). My hair was completely chewed, as seen in my old pictures in my album.

Then I started co-washing and following tips I got from online (motowngirl, LHCF), and my hair started getting thicker and stronger. I had found a new stylist and her relaxer, Variations Lye w/ Aloe, got my hair somewhat straight. Unfortunately, the relaxer is extremely hard to find, as it is manufactured in New Orleans. You must be a stylist to buy the product

I decided to switch stylists one time, and they used Affirm Regular. It did not get my hair straight at all. After going back to the stylist that used Variations, my hair didn't get straight again. Then I got braids...

Then I tried to relax my own hair with Vitale Lye Relaxer... it didn't take at all. I tried over 6 times, and it just won't get straight A dominican once got my hair straight but when I washed it... the waves immediately came back... stupid, weak Affirm

Please help me. Here is my regimen: I co-wash daily, rollerset maybe 1x a month and flat iron only my new growth 1x a month also. I only give myself light protein treatments once or twice a week. I have type 6f hair, it is very thick.

Thanks I am very frustrated.

 

[amy1234]

A friend of mine also has deep waves in her natural curl pattern, for some reason she only uses no-lye relaxers (*eta* soft & beautiful & gentle treatment). I told her about the lye relaxers and she's always had a bad experience with them not getting her hair straight enough ect. I know that this board is against no-lye relaxers though , I don't know what else to tell ya (sorry)
maybe you could do a strand test with no lye and see if it gets it any straighter?! I don't want to mislead you, so it's your choice
btw my friends hair looks very healthy despite her using a no-lye relaxer, so it can work for some.

 

[Miss_Jetsetter]

This has happened to me recently as well. Sat with the relaxer on my hair for quite a bit and after ist was all said and done, i still had new growth like no realxer was ever attempted at all.

I was told that perhaps maybe my hair has gotten so healthy that it was actually "resisting" the relaxer. Maybe this may be the case for you?

 

[RainbowCurls]

Maybe your hair just can't be relaxed with lye relaxers.
Mine couldn't, after trying 2 different one I'd had enough and decided to transition.
When I used to relaxed I used to use no-lye. Until I read that lye was better for your hair.

 

[HairPhoenix]

My hair just won't take a relaxer. I've tried four different relaxers and three different stylists in the past 2 3/4 years. Here is my story.

My hair used to be extremely overprocessed from Dark n'Lovely No-Lye relaxer (mommie put it in). My hair was completely chewed, as seen in my old pictures in my album.

Then I started co-washing and following tips I got from online (motowngirl, LHCF), and my hair started getting thicker and stronger. I had found a new stylist and her relaxer, Variations Lye w/ Aloe, got my hair somewhat straight. Unfortunately, the relaxer is extremely hard to find, as it is manufactured in New Orleans. You must be a stylist to buy the product

I decided to switch stylists one time, and they used Affirm Regular. It did not get my hair straight at all. After going back to the stylist that used Variations, my hair didn't get straight again. Then I got braids...

Then I tried to relax my own hair with Vitale Lye Relaxer... it didn't take at all. I tried over 6 times, and it just won't get straight A dominican once got my hair straight but when I washed it... the waves immediately came back... stupid, weak Affirm

Please help me. Here is my regimen: I co-wash daily, rollerset maybe 1x a month and flat iron only my new growth 1x a month also. I only give myself light protein treatments once or twice a week. I have type 6f hair, it is very thick.

Thanks I am very frustrated.

Type 6f hair!?!

Come on now... it can't be that bad. I have thick coarse hair too. I had to use super strength when I did my own. My last hairstylist used a sodium-based relaxer on my hair and it was stick straight. And I mean STICK STRAIGHT!. I could wash my hair and air dry and it would stay straight. She said that those types of relaxers tend to take better. You may want to ask your stylist about them and try that the next time around. If I can track my last stylist down and get the name of it, I will pass on the info as soon as I can.

Hang in there!

 

[secretdiamond]

This has definitely been happening to me ever since I started using mtg. With my last relaxer, I went back to revlon since it always got me straight, but even the parts applied first with relaxer, still have a definite curl pattern to it. I don't understand... and this time I left it in longer. I am just accepting it, as long as it gives the same slight curl/wave each time for consistency. I figured it's better this way to minimize damage from potential overlapping so this way, the parts that didnb't fully relax the first time, might get a chance to process some more the next time since some overlapping is going to happen anyway (for me at least).

 

[Phoenix]

After being natural for 1 1/2 years, my hair will no longer get straight when I relax it. I tried relaxing my hair 4 times with different relaxers. My stylist suggested that my hair had gotten used to being worn curly and needed to be "trained" to lay straight again. She suggested wrapping it every night and staying away from curly styles like wash n gos, twistouts, etc. I don't know if that makes any sense or not. Anyway, I just accepted than my hair won't get straight and now I don't even try. I like the texturized look.

 

[mommatide]

I USED MIZANI FOR 10 YEARS AND NEVER HAD A PROBLEM. I SWITCHED TO AFFIRM AND MY PROBLEMS BEGAN. I USED IT TWICE AND BOTH TIMES MY HAIR CAME OUT UNDERPROCESSED. SWITCHED BACK TO MIZANI, WILL NEVER SWITCH AGAIN.

 

[lonei]

Hi anky, I too read that lye relaxers were better for your hair, thats when the drama began. I began using motions salons herbal regular about a year ago and even though I relax in 2 sections, it still doesnt take, hence the texlaxed hair which I am learning to live with. I am too scared to change again, I dont want no more drama, or worse still, hair loss!!!

 

[qtgirl]

I think that lye relaxer really RELAX the curl in your hair while no-lyes STRAIGHTEN your hair. I have about 4 inches (on the ends) of no-lye hair (Phyto) and the rest is Lye and the No-Lye is STRAIGHT, while the lye if dried by air or what not is crinkly. I prefer for there to be some texture left though because I think it makes your hair more resilient.

 

[Angelicus]

Thanks everybody. I am very afraid to lose my hair, as I've worked really hard to grow it. But I may take the plunge and get a no-lye relaxer. The problem is, almost every stylist in Arizona uses Affirm. I refuse to put that grease on my hair. The stylist that doesn't use Affirm uses Lady Velvet but wants to charge me $90.00 to do my hair

I hope I find a solution quick because my hair has already started breaking at demarcation points, and it is very hard to detangle. It is as if I have not had a relaxer in over one year.

Another option that I had was to just get braids while I am searching for the right stylist. The downpoint is that after I take them out, my hair is always resistant to relaxers :cry3 woe is meeee!!

 

[lonei]

I think that lye relaxer really RELAX the curl in your hair while no-lyes STRAIGHTEN your hair. I have about 4 inches (on the ends) of no-lye hair (Phyto) and the rest is Lye and the No-Lye is STRAIGHT, while the lye if dried by air or what not is crinkly. I prefer for there to be some texture left though because I think it makes your hair more resilient.

Do you or anyone else find it hard to detangle when wet, and does it ever stick together slightly?

 

[blueabyss333]

I'm not sure if this was established but have you ever tried using course/super strength? There is a reason for those strengths- for people who have 6f lol. I use it, always have and no problem.

 

[Angelicus]

Yes, blueabyss, every relaxer I've used-- with the exception of Affirm-- was a super relaxer. They were all left on my hair for at least 30 minutes (35 minutes on average).

And yes, Lonei, it has been very difficult to detangle lately, even with my favorite conditioners; even with washing my hair in sections.

 

[Nanyanika]

Yes, blueabyss, every relaxer I've used-- with the exception of Affirm-- was a super relaxer. They were all left on my hair for at least 30 minutes (35 minutes on average).

And yes, Lonei, it has been very difficult to detangle lately, even with my favorite conditioners; even with washing my hair in sections.

I had this problem and i ended up having to transition because of the different textures and damage. i hope you find a solution soon. good luck

 

[nicki6]

When I first joined the forum, I decided to switch to Affirm lye. It did NUTHIN with my 4-type hair

I went back to Soft and Beautiful no-lye and have been STRAIGHT ever since

 

[kim]

I have this problem with my daughter's hair. It is very resistent to relaxers, the curl just will not come out. I had gotten her to accept the fact that her hair just wants to be curly. But now that she is in the 8th grade she thinks relaxers are where its at!! I have been using the Vitale Life and body and they seem to work a little better. When I went to there website last night they mentioned not using there relaxers if your hair was very porous, I'm not sure why but I wonder if this could have something to do with relaxers not taking in my daughter's hair. Her hair is very porous.

 

[LiLi]

I think it's true that no-lye relaxers get your hair straighter than lye relaxers. I have used Affirm Fiberguard No-Lye and Lye and the No-Lye section is MUCH straighter than the section that I tested with the Lye relaxer. However, the Lye section feels a lot more moist even and I don't really need any moisturizers after conditioning.

However, do you use products with petroletum (sp?)? If so, that could be causing your relaxers not to perform as well as they may perform (I have a thread on this from a few months ago). I would use a chelating shampoo about 1 week before you get a relaxer and deep condition with something moisturizing that doesn't contain petroletum. Then, I would do a small section on different areas of your hair and then try it. It's much better than having a full head that isn't relaxed the way you want it to be relaxed.

I don't have access to the relaxer that you are talking about (that you like) but I do have access to Mizani, Affirm, Deep Brilliance, and Paul Mitchell relaxers. I could also ask my distributor if they would consider carrying the brand that you said worked better on your hair.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

I think it's true that no-lye relaxers get your hair straighter than lye relaxers. I have used Affirm Fiberguard No-Lye and Lye and the No-Lye section is MUCH straighter than the section that I tested with the Lye relaxer. However, the Lye section feels a lot more moist even and I don't really need any moisturizers after conditioning.

However, do you use products with petroletum (sp?)? If so, that could be causing your relaxers not to perform as well as they may perform (I have a thread on this from a few months ago). I would use a chelating shampoo about 1 week before you get a relaxer and deep condition with something moisturizing that doesn't contain petroletum. Then, I would do a small section on different areas of your hair and then try it. It's much better than having a full head that isn't relaxed the way you want it to be relaxed.

I agree with this. I notice that the hair on my ends that was relaxed with No-Lye is super straight and dry. The first 12 inches or so relaxed with Lye has much more bulk and body to it and it holds moisture very well.

I was going to suggest clarifying. If you're CO washing every day, there may be a build up of products that the relaxer isn't penetraiting completely. I also agree with the OP about avoiding petroleum. The way it protects your scalp from the relaxer, it would also protect your hair from the relaxer and keep it from absorbing and straightening.

HTH

{DI}

 

[Tene]

I have the same problem I have waves on top of my hair and on the sides and my ends curl up. My hair won't get straight neither except for in the middle of my head.

 

[Trini"T"]

Does everyone here with this problem do relaxer stretches? If so, that's the problem...that along with not smoothing enough. I have the same problem but I accept it now because I actually like the texlaxed look and my hair is stronger

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Well I've never had this problem during all of my other stretches. I did a 13 week stretch at the beginning of the year and my hair was bone straight when I got it relaxed. I don't think stretching is the problem. Insufficient smoothing sounds like it may be a culprit.
For me, I also think the brand of the relaxer had something to do with it.

 

[Chanteuse]

Does everyone here with this problem do relaxer stretches? If so, that's the problem...that along with not smoothing enough. I have the same problem but I accept it now because I actually like the texlaxed look and my hair is stronger

I definitely think stretching has something to do with this along with the choice of relaxer. Affirm is a mild relaxer, period. It is designed to leave some texture in your hair, stretching or not. However, other relaxers that may "take" when you don't stretch may not "take" when do. Some other relaxers are strong enough that they will get your hair straight regardless. I have experienced all of these results. Phyto is the only thing that really relaxed my hair without leaving it feeling overprocessed. I used it after stretching for 8 months and it got my hair straight (left a little wave pattern in the front where I started to run out ). I think that might work for you. Good luck. You have beautiful hair and I'm sure you'll find something that works for you soon.

 

[blueabyss333]

Yes, blueabyss, every relaxer I've used-- with the exception of Affirm-- was a super relaxer. They were all left on my hair for at least 30 minutes (35 minutes on average).

And yes, Lonei, it has been very difficult to detangle lately, even with my favorite conditioners; even with washing my hair in sections.

Oh, sorry sweety. I don't know what else to suggest except maybe CO washes and WGO to help soften your new growth?

 

[locabouthair]

Thanks everybody. I am very afraid to lose my hair, as I've worked really hard to grow it. But I may take the plunge and get a no-lye relaxer. The problem is, almost every stylist in Arizona uses Affirm. I refuse to put that grease on my hair. The stylist that doesn't use Affirm uses Lady Velvet but wants to charge me $90.00 to do my hair

I hope I find a solution quick because my hair has already started breaking at demarcation points, and it is very hard to detangle. It is as if I have not had a relaxer in over one year.


Another option that I had was to just get braids while I am searching for the right stylist. The downpoint is that after I take them out, my hair is always resistant to relaxers :cry3 woe is meeee!![/QUOTE]

Hi anky
1) i looked at your album and saw how much your hair grew. What do you think contributed most to the growth?
2) Is Affirm that bad? I've been hearing a lot of bad reviews about it. I'm just curious because I am contemplating getting a relaxer and am looking for the right one.
3) When your hair starts breaking at the demarcation points moisturize your new growth as much as you can. S curl is really good for this and so it NTM silk leave in. I have very coarse 4b hair and these two products soften my hair so if they can soften mine they can soften anybody's.
4) You might know this but I'll say it anyway. If you decide to get braids DO NOT get a relaxer the day after. You might need to wait like a week. I did this and I had MAJOR breakage for like 2 years. I didn't know you weren't supposed to do this until it was too late. All the hair I had grown from the braids was gone withing 2 years because of doing that. I'm just trying to warn as many people so no one would have to go through what I went though.

 

[baglady215]

I have the same problem. From my experience, no-lye straightens better than lye, but of course is harder on your hair. I've tried them all... Then I switched to TCB Naturals no-lye, and it got a bit stratighter but I could tell my hair was drier. Last time I used Optimum Multi-Mineral which is a combination of lye and no-lye. I like it so far. I think I've just come to the conclusion that my hair will only get so straight. Good luck in your search!

 

[Queenie]

This problem is why my hair is texturized. No-lye does straighten better than lye. I'm glad to see there are many others who feel me.

 

[Supergirl]

Whatever you do, don't go back to no-lye! My hair doesn't get as straight with most lye relaxers either. I had one stylist that could really get my hair straight with an Affirm Lye relaxer, but other stylists have not been able to get me as straight with that same relaxer.

Anyway, you may have to help the relaxer out by helping your hair break down alittle bit before the relaxing process. The best way to do this is to use heat to straighten your newgrowth--either a blow dryer or curling/flat iron. You should do it about 1-4 days before the relaxer. And don't sweat! If you sweat, of course the straightening that you did won't hold.

 

[Angelicus]

No-lye is out of the question because my hair was so dry with it. Also it left too much calcium deposit on my hair

Thanks Supergirl, CaramelHonee advised this months ago, but I didn't know how it would work out. I will try it for my next relaxer. thanks.

 

[Isis]

It sounds like you received great advice here Anky. I have a feeling your beautiful, long hair will be saved and continue to thrive.

I agree with the ladies about avoiding petroleum on the scalp. I based my scalp about a year ago with something that was mostly petroleum and my usual relaxer didn't take no matter how much I smoothed. If you have the same stylist, you may want to see what she uses to base your scalp. I use petroleum, like Vaseline, only on my ears and facial areas to protect them.

I now use a product on my scalp that contains castor oil as the main ingredient to base my scalp (Hmm.. maybe I should just use castor oil).