it's not just a black thing...

[naturalglory041490]

So last night my family hosted a going away party for my dad since he's about to go to Iraq. And there have been these two young men he's been mentoring for a few months now. Well one of the young men is from Ghana and he's very sweet but very silly. Well every time they have been to the house they've seen me with with a wash n go so it's big and curly. Well I blew my hair out for the party and when he was leaving he (ghana) tries to touch my hair without me noticing but I turned just as he did it and he says "I just wanted to see if it was a weave" and I thought I'd be offended but I wasn't. I said "just because it's thick doesn't mean its a weave" to which he replies "I just didn't think it could go from curly to straight in 2 days and its longer" (thats what happens when you straighten hair lmbo)

So being 20 I do understand that sometimes black men or any group of men tend to try to throw black women out there in terms of hair. And I know its very frustrating and sometimes hurtful depending on how it is said. But here's what I am leading to, many black women get mad at black men when the topic of hair comes up, but my SO who is white says the same thing about WW when it comes to hair/hair color/ make up and tans...I think instead of everyone getting so offended we should just hold our heads high and not really hesitate to respond in our defense without getting defensive? I hope you understand what I am saying. Basically I've got a thicker skin and if a bm or ww or wm says something I just reply we each pick our poisons, whether it weave or fakenback tanning.

pic attached!

 

[BostonMaria]

That boy must want to be in a coma before reaching Iraq. At least I know my army brother would kick someone's butt if they dare to touch his daughter's hair.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and think wow today my hair looks like a wig LOL so I don't get mad when others think the same way.

 

[WyrdWay]

I don't gey how people don't understand that when you straighten a curl/coil it will "seem" longer but the hair won't actually be any longer (the length didn't change just they shape) :/ that always seemed a silly questing to me when I would go from curly to straight at work. "Did you cut your hair?" "Wow your hair grew fast!"

I understand the whole thicker skin thing, and just because someone asks or says something that might irritate us, it doesn't necessarily mean that they meant it the way we took it, and if they did, so what, everyone is untitled to there opinion. We can have a disagreement with out getting dramatic or (overly) defensive. I think some ignorance about different types of hair come from people being to afraid of the reaction they might get from asking questions.

 

[$inna-$pice]

I agree that as black women we can be very sensitive when it comes to the subject of hair. I remember at one of my old jobs my supervisor, who was Hispanic knew that I wore phony ponies to work. So he would always ask me if it was my real hair and when I would tell him no he would say Well how long is your real hair? Let me see your real hair! and I would tell him No! Leave me alone!, in a joking way of course but it was something that really annoyed me because I felt like it was nobody's business. The point is whether it's your hair or not, I think it's a topic that men just get too caught up in..

 

[naturalglory041490]

I think some ignorance about different types of hair come from people being to afraid of the reaction they might get from asking questions.

Sometimes I don't think it's ignorance, it's just they want to get a reaction out of us or make us feel bad about ourselves...

 

[WyrdWay]

Sometimes I don't think it's ignorance, it's just they want to get a reaction out of us or make us feel bad about ourselves...

I agree, and this is very sad. You shouldn't need to get your jollies from hurting other people

 

[Yoshi3329]

Sometimes I don't think it's ignorance, it's just they want to get a reaction out of us or make us feel bad about ourselves...

Why do I agree with this statement?

...

B/c it's true.

 

[Mari-Cris]

So last night my family hosted a going away party for my dad since he's about to go to Iraq. And there have been these two young men he's been mentoring for a few months now. Well one of the young men is from Ghana and he's very sweet but very silly. Well every time they have been to the house they've seen me with with a wash n go so it's big and curly. Well I blew my hair out for the party and when he was leaving he (ghana) tries to touch my hair without me noticing but I turned just as he did it and he says "I just wanted to see if it was a weave" and I thought I'd be offended but I wasn't. I said "just because it's thick doesn't mean its a weave" to which he replies "I just didn't think it could go from curly to straight in 2 days and its longer" (thats what happens when you straighten hair lmbo)

So being 20 I do understand that sometimes black men or any group of men tend to try to throw black women out there in terms of hair. And I know its very frustrating and sometimes hurtful depending on how it is said. But here's what I am leading to, many black women get mad at black men when the topic of hair comes up, but my SO who is white says the same thing about WW when it comes to hair/hair color/ make up and tans...I think instead of everyone getting so offended we should just hold our heads high and not really hesitate to respond in our defense without getting defensive? I hope you understand what I am saying. Basically I've got a thicker skin and if a bm or ww or wm says something I just reply we each pick our poisons, whether it weave or fakenback tanning.

pic attached!

I totally agree with you. You can either get annoyed by the reactions of others or let it roll off your back and smile about it. I choose to smile. Let them touch or ask if it is a weave, I will only invite them to inspect further, and then say, "See, I told you it was my real hair." LOL. IMO, the more the myth that black women cannot have long hair gets debunked, the better. And I am very happy to contribute to the re-education of the ignorant.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I think he was trying to flirt with you and cover up with that lame line.

 

[MzWill]

throughout all my hair phases be it unbeweavebly long, short & natural, curly from bantu knots, to my current state of relaxed & shoulder length, i've always responded honestly w/o offense to ppl's questions about my hair. what i do find funny is that most non-blacks seem to like my hair most when i rock the knot outs & that, during my weave phase, when most black women asked what i did to get my hair so healthy they didn't believe my response, "honey it's a weave"

 

[lea86111]

i've had many people ask me whether my hair was real, mostly when back in italy and in single braids and i KNOW some meant it to ridicule me and the fact that they knew it wasn't mine while others were genuinly curious and wanted to know. Also once my uncle asked me if i was wearing a wig (i was full SL at the time and my hair was thick, i never owned a flat iron then and my hair has never been bone straight) i was happy happy happy that he asked (i had complitely forgot about this ) and proceededto let him know that no sir it's all me! Lol

 

[naturalglory041490]

I think he was trying to flirt with you and cover up with that lame line.

Hahaha if this is true I'm gonna need him to get some game...lol. I mean my SO didn't say "hi woman of color I am attracted to, are those locks growing directly from your scalp or are they assisted in length by extensive pieces of hair?" lol (i know a bit too sarcastic) But some people might as well say that.

 

[SND411]

naturalglory041490, you look gorgeous!

 

[naturalglory041490]

AWWW thank you SND411! you made my night!

 

[HE_Blesses_MY_Tresses]

Ever since I took my last weave out and had a very considerable amount of growth, the questions keep coming " Is all that your hair?" I find it amusing at times and at others I find it irritating, it all depends on how the situation is unfolding before me. I usually wear a lot of half wigs/wig and braids for protective styles and just tonight when I had my hair out my aunt saw me adjusting my hair and said " girl, is that a piece?" i looked around confused for a second then realized she was referring to my hair. I told her it was and how I had achieved the length and retention and she said " girl it looks like a weave! I thought you had a piece in." to that I replied, "well that means that it looks too good to be true but it not because, yes, its all me. " she asked to feel it and I let her feel it and she was oohing and ahhing over how soft it is. A situation such as this I don't get upset, she didn't know, so she asked, but I have been in situations where I felt like it was a personal attack and I had to straighten that person out. I take pride in how I present myself and there have been people who have tried to bring to attention my so-called "weave" in the presence of others, with the intention of highlighting a "flaw" and it ends up backfiring because after I tell them and dismiss them with a flip of my head they feel stupid and everyone sees them for the jealous b***h that they are....

 

[Vashti]

Thinking about things like that is one thing. Most of us might look at someone's hair and wonder if its real or whatever but just coming up to someone you don't know and blurting rude stuff out of your mouth means you haven't quite matured yet.