"Learn how to care for your hair..."

[Miss*Tress]

An article from the NYTimes was posted to a blog I read semi-regularly. It's all about potential mothers who go to a sperm bank looking for genes the opposite to their own. Here's an excerpt of the article:

Wanted: A Few Good Sperm
By JENNIFER EGAN

Sperm banks do try to address the amorphous question of character; many include psychological studies of donors as well as "staff impressions." Some offer audiotaped interviews in addition to the lengthy written questionnaires,...

While many single mothers look for donors whose features and coloring resemble their own... A 40-year-old African-American woman I spoke with wanted a Latino donor so that her child would have lighter skin and nonkinky hair. "I'm the African-American," she told me. "The child will get that from me."

Out of the 124 comments on the article, this is one of which I agreed with the most:

And I got news for the black woman wanting a Latino donor to insure "good hair." First, there's no guarantee, since Latinos have a fair amount of African blood mixed in them, too. And second, if she does get the hair she's looking for, it still won't change the fact that the problem is not hair texture, but that most blacks are clueless about haircare in general and have unrealistic expectations about so-called 'good hair.' My advice to blacks, learn how to care for your hair and maybe you'll like it a whole lot more.

Various other aspects of "multiculturalism" (not relevant to hair) are at stevegilliard.blogspot.com.

 

[uncutandgettinglonger]

I think that it is time the peopel start speaking out against hair ignorance.

 

[Candy_C]

An article from the NYTimes was posted to a blog I read semi-regularly. It's all about potential mothers who go to a sperm bank looking for genes the opposite to their own. Here's an excerpt of the article:Out of the 124 comments on the article, this is one of which I agreed with the most:Various other aspects of "multiculturalism" (not relevant to hair) are at stevegilliard.blogspot.com.

""....that most blacks are clueless about haircare in general and have unrealistic expectations about so-called 'good hair....'" AHHHA so she thinks! That makes black people sound real dumb. Clue-less to me means "doesn't have a clue, is unaware"..i definately had an idea otherwise i would not have BOUGHT products for my hair would i not? i wouldn't say clueless thats very harsh, i think as a teen i was Mis-directed. i never saw adverts on tv in england for black hair, but i DO have a brain and hair care is not rocket science. at 12 i knew "protein" and "vitamins" and "natural stuff" was good to see in a product. so...pleurgh she can speak for her own shallow screwed up opinion.

 

[MeccaMedinah]

I think that it is time the peopel start speaking out against hair ignorance.

I agree.
We need to start speaking on any ignorant mess we hear coming out of Blacks' mouths; at this point people are getting out of control

 

[Legend]

I know I may speak for few people here, but this is what I feel. :Blush2:

I don’t agree 100% with the comment that was posted to the blog. I DO agree that many Latinas I know have hair just like mine and have it pressed or relaxed to tame it.

What I DON’T agree with is that African-American women don’t know how to take care of their hair. I think we do. That’s a stereotype that can be said of many cultures. I have Asian friends with stick straight hair that wear it in a raggedy ponytail day, after day, after day because they don’t have a clue what to do with it.

I think more of the problem, than knowledge of how to take care of our hair, is the negative portrayal of black hair as being an inferior type. Many Black women can’t open a magazine without being bombarded with Black women with what appears to be more "European" textured hair. Although, this has changed drastically in recent years, and I applaud the efforts of marketers who try to accurately portray different cultural styles, and embraces those differences.

But, many of us, at one point or another, (like the woman in the article) have fed into the hype that to have straight or smooth hair is “superior”, which is a load of hooey. Hair is hair, and it's all "good." It’s *attitudes* that have to be changed, not how we care for our hair. The existence of this forum is proof positive that women know how to care for their hair or are seeking knowledge to do so.

 

[Candy_C]

I agree.
We need to start speaking on any ignorant mess we hear coming out of Blacks' mouths; at this point people are getting out of control

I think the lady who wrote that, Jennifer something, was/is non-black

 

[Legend]

I think I’d also like to add that Black hair is really the most diverse, most interesting hair on the planet. I know women with the most beautiful, curliest of curly hair to ladies with naturally super straight hair, and everything texture and type in between, which is amazing to me.

I’ve have good friends of many different cultural backgrounds that would look at my gravity defying hair styles in awe. They could not fathom how I could go from curly one day, to smooth and straight the next and long and wavy a few days later. It’s the best feeling in the world to know you have a world of styling choices available. So long as you hair is kept healthy, the sky is the limit!

I know, I know! Kind of off-topic But there it is!!!! Black hair is beautiful hair, no matter what type!

 

[Enchantmt]

What I DON’T agree with is that African-American women don’t know how to take care of their hair. I think we do. That’s a stereotype that can be said of many cultures. I have Asian friends with stick straight hair that wear it in a raggedy ponytail day, after day, after day because they don’t have a clue what to do with it.

I think more of the problem, than knowledge of how to take care of our hair, is the negative portrayal of black hair as being an inferior type.

Hair is hair, and it's all "good." It’s *attitudes* that have to be changed, not how we care for our hair. The existence of this forum is proof positive that women know how to care for their hair or are seeking knowledge to do so.

I have to respectully disagree with part of this. Once I joined LHCF I became very conscious of the people I see on a day to day basis, black and white, and the condition of their hair. One particular incident brought the hair care issue home to me. When I went to go vote one election, since I'm in primarily black area, of course most all of the people there were black. Out of at least a couple of hundred women I saw TWO that had really nice hair, and one of those was possibly a weave. Even the young children had broken, damaged, thin hair, thin ends, dry, etc. When I am out and about, HEALTHY hair is the exception, not the rule. Don't get me wrong, we can do it up for special occasions, church etc, but even then the women I see often have extensions or have just come from the shop. They dont know how to do it themselves. The posts on this board has story after story of women finally ending their dependence on the hair salon, and learning how to do it themselves. Story after story of women having to battle the old ideas in their family, such as washing weekly or more often will damage it and dry it out. Story after story of the snide remarks they hear from others because they are stretching their relaxers and someone feels the need to address their new growth.

Is the knowledge out there? Of course, and this board proves THAT. Is this knowledge COMMON knowledge? No. If it were our members with long healthy hair wouldnt be seen as an oddity in their local spheres and our members who have it wouldnt be acosted by people sticking their hands in their hair, checking for weaves and tugging on it, and we wouldnt be having discussions every 3-4 months as to whether or not black people have the ability to grow long hair or if we should just give up and give in to genetics.

I agree that the attitudes need to change and that the negative protrayal of our hair needs to change. The problem is, that the hair stereotype, along with other racial sterotypes have/are being accepted by our own, and not just "outsiders".

There is a theory called the "tipping point", sort of like the 100th monkey idea, that basically says that ideas and behaviors spread like viruses. That we are connected and once enough people tell enough people and the information spreads, that an epidemic takes place, everyone is affected and changes occur. This is what I'm waiting on to happen. It is happening slowly, and as more people here get knowledge, tell friends, family, and teach their children, then damaged hair will be the exception, and not the rule. We arent there yet, but we are on our way.

 

[Candy_C]

I have to respectully disagree with part of this. Once I joined LHCF I became very conscious of the people I see on a day to day basis, black and white, and the condition of their hair. One particular incident brought the hair care issue home to me. When I went to go vote one election, since I'm in primarily black area, of course most all of the people there were black. Out of at least a couple of hundred women I saw TWO that had really nice hair, and one of those was possibly a weave. Even the young children had broken, damaged, thin hair, thin ends, dry, etc. When I am out and about, HEALTHY hair is the exception, not the rule. Don't get me wrong, we can do it up for special occasions, church etc, but even then the women I see often have extensions or have just come from the shop. They dont know how to do it themselves. The posts on this board has story after story of women finally ending their dependence on the hair salon, and learning how to do it themselves. Story after story of women having to battle the old ideas in their family, such as washing weekly or more often will damage it and dry it out. Story after story of the snide remarks they hear from others because they are stretching their relaxers and someone feels the need to address their new growth.

Is the knowledge out there? Of course, and this board proves THAT. Is this knowledge COMMON knowledge? No. If it were our members with long healthy hair wouldnt be seen as an oddity in their local spheres and our members who have it wouldnt be acosted by people sticking their hands in their hair, checking for weaves and tugging on it, and we wouldnt be having discussions every 3-4 months as to whether or not black people have the ability to grow long hair or if we should just give up and give in to genetics.

I agree that the attitudes need to change and that the negative protrayal of our hair needs to change. The problem is, that the hair stereotype, along with other racial sterotypes have/are being accepted by our own, and not just "outsiders".

There is a theory called the "tipping point", sort of like the 100th monkey idea, that basically says that ideas and behaviors spread like viruses. That we are connected and once enough people tell enough people and the information spreads, that an epidemic takes place, everyone is affected and changes occur. This is what I'm waiting on to happen. It is happening slowly, and as more people here get knowledge, tell friends, family, and teach their children, then damaged hair will be the exception, and not the rule. We arent there yet, but we are on our way.

You articulated that very well

 

[Healthb4Length]

I have to respectully disagree with part of this. Once I joined LHCF I became very conscious of the people I see on a day to day basis, black and white, and the condition of their hair. One particular incident brought the hair care issue home to me. When I went to go vote one election, since I'm in primarily black area, of course most all of the people there were black. Out of at least a couple of hundred women I saw TWO that had really nice hair, and one of those was possibly a weave. Even the young children had broken, damaged, thin hair, thin ends, dry, etc. When I am out and about, HEALTHY hair is the exception, not the rule. Don't get me wrong, we can do it up for special occasions, church etc, but even then the women I see often have extensions or have just come from the shop. They dont know how to do it themselves. The posts on this board has story after story of women finally ending their dependence on the hair salon, and learning how to do it themselves. Story after story of women having to battle the old ideas in their family, such as washing weekly or more often will damage it and dry it out. Story after story of the snide remarks they hear from others because they are stretching their relaxers and someone feels the need to address their new growth.

Is the knowledge out there? Of course, and this board proves THAT. Is this knowledge COMMON knowledge? No. If it were our members with long healthy hair wouldnt be seen as an oddity in their local spheres and our members who have it wouldnt be acosted by people sticking their hands in their hair, checking for weaves and tugging on it, and we wouldnt be having discussions every 3-4 months as to whether or not black people have the ability to grow long hair or if we should just give up and give in to genetics.

I agree that the attitudes need to change and that the negative protrayal of our hair needs to change. The problem is, that the hair stereotype, along with other racial sterotypes have/are being accepted by our own, and not just "outsiders".

There is a theory called the "tipping point", sort of like the 100th monkey idea, that basically says that ideas and behaviors spread like viruses. That we are connected and once enough people tell enough people and the information spreads, that an epidemic takes place, everyone is affected and changes occur. This is what I'm waiting on to happen. It is happening slowly, and as more people here get knowledge, tell friends, family, and teach their children, then damaged hair will be the exception, and not the rule. We arent there yet, but we are on our way.

Great point! You articulated exactly what I feel. On a daily basis I see black women with jacked up hair, when they see my hair they ask what I do to it? Is it a wig/weave? What magic potion do you use? It's sad because I feel that we should as people have come a long way but we haven't, we still uphold and try to impose Eurocentric ideals of beauty upon ourselves and when we don't fit those standards, we create a culture of self hating individuals. I see it everyday, I also notice that if a Mother has jacked up hair then her child has nasty hair as well, it's like people don't even want to try. Black folks are so worried about what whites think of our hair that we are afraid to show a nap, black women are afraid to be 'real' around their own husbands or partners, there are plenty of husbands' who have never seen their wives 'real' hair...that's disturbing to me. And lastly, I am so tired of these ignorant, triffling ass black folks on tv etc talking about good hair this and good hair that, dont' they realize that makes us all look like ignorant fools? It only perpetuates that stereotype that blacks want hair other than our own.

 

[Legend]

Really excellent points, Enchantmt!

Hair care, self image, stereotyping---it's definitely a multi-faceted issue. I am fortunate to work directly with extremely low-income, homeless women. It's amazing the difference I've seen in many clients who came to the shelter depressed and with very low self esteem, their physical appearance reflecting that. They have much more important things on their mind than hair! Then to see them blossom in the months while in the program, as they start college, get jobs and housing...it made a huge difference. You see, all the staff work on building people up as well as helping them out. This showed me that beauty can be as much about attitude and self-esteem, as knowledge to care for one-self. I mean, clients started dressing differently, getting healthier physically, and hair started changing and getting healthier. They started asking questions about hair care, and sharing information with each other about how their moms/grandmothers/aunts cared for their hair. Man, if you walk into that place, it's like a fashion show some days!!!

And this just by people saying how beautiful they are and they are somebody important. Knowledge is key and is certainly lacking in some communities, and I've also learned a lot about how self-image affects many parts of life.

 

[MissMarie]

ITA with your post, enchantment.
When I go out I see too many women with broken ends, undermoisturized and sometimes just plain dirty hair. I thought I knew a decent amount about hair care and that I could rely on my hairdresser. But since coming here I realize there are a lot of things I was never even exposed to.
The fact that I've gone from shoulder length to past BSL proves to me that the changes I made from the info on this site made a huge difference, its not just a coincidence. I still have people argue with me though; that heat is good for my hair, that without a retouch my hair will fall out, that I need a trim, that grease is good and water is bad, etc.
I wish we could set up workshops or something to help ladies out. If others had some of our tips (and could see all the gorgeous heads here) they'd realize that whatever their hair texture or length, their hair can look good and be manageable.

 

[Miss*Tress]

I have to respectully disagree with part of this. Once I joined LHCF I became very conscious of the people I see on a day to day basis, black and white, and the condition of their hair. One particular incident brought the hair care issue home to me. When I went to go vote one election, since I'm in primarily black area, of course most all of the people there were black. Out of at least a couple of hundred women I saw TWO that had really nice hair, and one of those was possibly a weave. Even the young children had broken, damaged, thin hair, thin ends, dry, etc. When I am out and about, HEALTHY hair is the exception, not the rule.

This corresponds to my observations too, Enchantmt. Everywhere I turn, I see beautiful black women - gorgeous smooth skin, great shapes - wearing too-tight, too-heavy braids or overgrown and unflattering weaves. This is why the comment on the article struck such a chord with me.

As Legend said, black people have beautiful hair, but experience shows that many of us (generally speaking) are not realizing our potential, which leads some to have children with someone who has "better" hair.

 

[Enchantmt]

Really excellent points, Enchantmt!

Hair care, self image, stereotyping---it's definitely a multi-faceted issue. I am fortunate to work directly with extremely low-income, homeless women. It's amazing the difference I've seen in many clients who came to the shelter depressed and with very low self esteem, their physical appearance reflecting that. They have much more important things on their mind than hair! Then to see them blossom in the months while in the program, as they start college, get jobs and housing...it made a huge difference. You see, all the staff work on building people up as well as helping them out. This showed me that beauty can be as much about attitude and self-esteem, as knowledge to care for one-self. I mean, clients started dressing differently, getting healthier physically, and hair started changing and getting healthier. They started asking questions about hair care, and sharing information with each other about how their moms/grandmothers/aunts cared for their hair. Man, if you walk into that place, it's like a fashion show some days!!!

And this just by people saying how beautiful they are and they are somebody important. Knowledge is key and is certainly lacking in some communities, and I've also learned a lot about how self-image affects many parts of life.

This is true, but its a seperate issue. People put themselves on the back burner for many reasons. The ones you are describing are people with out hope, who feel they are unloved and not worthwhile. They have given up on life and themselves. You see this in depressed people, and ones like you have described. Letting them know they have a future, that they matter, can make a difference. These people are neglecting EVERYTHING about themselves. I've gone through my own periods where I just didnt care to do anything. I dont for one moment doubt that you see those changes daily in the lives of the women you work with and I applaud you for helping them see their potential.

What I was speaking of in my first post were those who are attempting to take care of their hair, but take care of it incorrectly because they dont know how. They put in relaxers every 4 weeks or less, regardless of new growth. They put relaxers in their hair from root to tip, instead of just on the newgrowth. They dont detangle properly, causing breakage. They use curling irons and flat irons daily. They go 2-4 weeks or more with out washing because they think water is BAD for their hair and if they know you do it more often, they accuse you of thinking you are white or sit around with tales of doom and gloom about how your hair is going to fall out, waiting (perhaps secretly hoping) for it to happen. They ONLY buy hair products manufactured by black companies because other hair products are not compatible with their hair, when SOME (most?) of the hair products targeted toward black consumers have some of the worst ingredients in them. They think the only way they will have long hair is via weave, and have the missing hairlines to show for it. We spend more money on hair products and services than almost anyone else and have the worst hair health and knowledge to show for it. We can make it look good, but overall we cant make it THRIVE.

They will use anything that promises to grow their hair regardless of the ingredients. (monkey ball sweat comes to mind I know it was just a joke but I chuckle every time I remember it.) They walk around with sticky, smelly, greasy hair and think it is SUPPOSED to be like that. They arent doing this with the intention of destroying their hair. They think this IS proper hair care. Then there are the attitudes. Some women have a hatred and bitterness toward others with different textures/types because they dont recognize the beauty of their own and dont understand how to care for it, which is basically what the person in the blog stated. We think that only a certain texture or type of black hair will get any length. Napps are bad, straight is good. When we see a black woman with long hair its weave or she has indian in her family. 3-year olds are walking around with relaxers and weaves. I could go on and on. These are generalizations, and are by no means representative of all black women, but I challenge you to find one person on this board who has not thought or done one or more of those things, has not been a victim of that type of thinking and/or does not know anyone who has. THE MADDNESS HAS GOTZ TO STOP!!

WE ARE BLACK FOLX. WE should have more knowledge, COMMON knowledge, about our hair texture, type and care than anyone else on this planet. I know there are all types of politcal and historical reasons for this, I know black hair care isnt really covered in the beauty schools, but the fact remains that the majority does NOT know. It's not just hair care, its skin and beauty in general. I line up just like the rest of folx to see responses from women of other countries, Africa and India in particular, because what works for them has been passed down centuries and all we know in the states is VASELINE and cholesterol hair conditioner. (Thats a totally different spinoff tho)

I long for the day that I can walk into a room full of black women with beautiful healthy hair (and be one of them.) All I can say is now that we know better, we need to do better, continue to refine what works, and pass the knowledge on to those are receptive to it so that proper hair care can be common practice and not a shot in the dark or the (perceived) luck of the gene pool.

 

[Plenty]

An article from the NYTimes was posted to a blog I read semi-regularly. It's all about potential mothers who go to a sperm bank looking for genes the opposite to their own. Here's an excerpt of the article:Out of the 124 comments on the article, this is one of which I agreed with the most:Various other aspects of "multiculturalism" (not relevant to hair) are at stevegilliard.blogspot.com.

I am not offended at all. Hell he's tell'n the damn truth! The only reason we suffer is becuase of misinformation.

thanks for posting!

 

[MissYocairis]

*ITA* W/ the author of the article. I had a discussion just last week with a group of folks and someone actually brought up "good hair" as a factual attribute in referring to someone else. I was the only one in the group who was shocked and appalled (sp). Everyone else was completely unfazed as though she had said nothing suspect. It's still alive and well and sunk in folks' ideas. The author is to be commended for mentioning those things.