losing passion for my hair

[ms.blue]

I have been feeling like the passion I once had for my hair is slowly going away....well at this point, it is pretty much gone. I remember the time when I would enjoy washing and deep conditioning my hair, now it seems more like a chore. Since december I have cut about 5" of my hair and I don't even care whereas, a year ago, I would have cringe at the thought. I believe maybe I'm just sick and tired of my hair. The goals I set for myself don't even matter no more but the thing is that I'm trying to stay motivated by coming here and seeing progress pics and watching yt but the spark is gone. I braided my hair last month and took it down to install a weave w/o giving my hair a break just b/c I didn't want to have deal w/ my hair. Has anyone felt this way? What did you do to regain that spark again?

 

[faithVA]

I am currently feeling the same way. I have not made it through this low point yet. Fortunately I am hosting challenges so I can not just disappear. The interaction with the other ladies helps to get me through my rough patches.

Hopefully so of the more seasoned ladies will share their wisdom.

 

[Nonie]

@ms.blue, I like long hair and I love my hair, but I don't remember ever being obsessed with it or being "all about it" or spending hours thinking about it. So what you describe as having lost passion for your hair doesn't strike me as being a negative thing. To me it sounds like a normal way to be. I mean, taking a shower daily isn't annoying but neither it is EXCITING. It's just something you do because you feel good afterward and it's healthy. Same thing with brushing teeth. Why should hair be any different? I don't set goals; I have no qualms about cutting off damaged hair; I do no like to do my hair every day; in fact, I spend very little time on my hair.... I actually love the way I am with my hair. If my hair used to take up more time of my life (mentally or timewise) than it does now, I think I'd cut it off.

Now if you're walking around looking like who did what to you and why? Then I could see this being a problem. But if you're thinking you're not normal coz you don't live, dream, breathe hair now as you once might have, then you're wrong. You have just outgrown that hobby and need to find a new one. How is your makeup game? Your nail game? How about your fashion sense? Can you dance?

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

I feel ya. I've been natural since 2006 and every time my hair approaches BSL, I get the urge to hack it off. I am currently BSL and I'm fighting the urge to cut right now.

 

[ms.blue]

Nonie, I just started getting into nails and my makeup game is so-so. Its like I don't breathe hair hair anymore. I do believe its normal that interest change after awhile but for some strange reason I feel bad about it since I have been doing this for almost 4 yrs (consistently for 2+ yrs). I guess my main focus now is to get myself in shape mentally and physically
.
faithVA, I joined some challenges to keep the spark but I failed b/c hair is not doing anything for me.

*~*Afrolicious*~*, I have been cutting healthy hair w/o any regard. I have been bsl now apl and don't really care if I make it to bsl again. In my mind now, its just hair....it won't make or break me if my hair stays the same length for the rest of my life.

 

[faithVA]

@faithVA, I joined some challenges to keep the spark but I failed b/c hair is not doing anything for me.

Yeah that's why I host them so I don't quit. But its oh so tempting.

But I haven't gotten through my period of discontent yet so I don't have any good advice yet.

 

[skraprchik]

I agree with Nonie. It's perfectly normal for your interests to change over time. I've had more than one hobby over the years that I eventually lost interest in. Hair is one of those hobbies that I have for right now. Also, think how long it takes for you to see some changes in the length of your hair. This is a game of patience, and eventually it could become boring. I've been looking forward to the day when I can just bun my hair and forget about it. I've got a hair toy collection ready to be put to use. On the LHC they call it benign neglect. Doing the basics and otherwise leaving your hair alone to grow in peace. That's where I want to be. You may be there already.

 

[faithVA]

I agree with @Nonie. It's perfectly normal for your interests to change over time. I've had more than one hobby over the years that I eventually lost interest in. Hair is one of those hobbies that I have for right now. Also, think how long it takes for you to see some changes in the length of your hair. This is a game of patience, and eventually it could become boring. I've been looking forward to the day when I can just bun my hair and forget about it. I've got a hair toy collection ready to be put to use. On the LHC they call it benign neglect. Doing the basics and otherwise leaving your hair alone to grow in peace. That's where I want to be. You may be there already.

This is where I want to be as well. I want to wash, condition and put it up and away but still have it look decent.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I agree with Nonie too..

I think your thoughts about hair are NORMAL. Hair has just become less of a hobby for you. And you know what?? I think what it is is that you have finally become COMFORTABLE with your hair regimen, the hair products you use, and who knows...maybe you've also just found some other things in life that are occupying more of your time!

I know I don't have the same "zeal" with my hair as I did back in 2004 when I first joined this site. But it's not that I don't love my hair, it's that I FINALLY know how the basics of how to take care of my hair, what works for me, what doesn't work for me, etc. My hair isn't such a "novelty" anymore, and I don't feel the need to do all this "research" anymore to find out what I should (or should not) be doing to my hair. You understand?

When a lot of us first joined this site, or first started our hair journeys (whenever that was), many of us were in the dark about our hair, what works, what doesn't work, etc. Now that we're not so fixated with buying the newest latest product, or hopping on the latest "hair challenge" or board bandwagon (because we know what WORKS and what doesn't work for US personally), then of course we're not going to be eating, sleeping, and breathing our HAIR.

Honestly, MOST people feel somewhat indifferent about their hair. It's not their life, they just take care of it, and keep it moving. That's ALL good! That just means that you probably know what works for your hair, so you don't need to be checking out new things, or making your hair your HOBBY anymore since you have probably mastered your hair more than you knew 4 years ago.

 

[ms.blue]

skraprchik, I might have what you call benign neglect...kinda makes sense. I'm not at any arkward stage w/ my hair...hangs nice when straight and I when I do a twist out, it falls on my shoulders nicely. Hopefully this "benign neglect" won't turn into a disasterous neglect.

I really do appreciate all the advice given in this thread.

 

[ms.blue]

crystallicequeen123, exactly. I know what products work for my hair and what doesn't. Nothing excite anymore...I have no erge to try new products which is a benefit (no more pjism)

 

[lustrous]

ms.blue do you necessarily want that spark back or are you content with the thought that - that part of your life may not longer be a priority. Sometimes we beat ourselves up over something because we think we should go hard all the time or feel more drive and passion. Things blaze and ebb. It's the natural order of life. After 8+ years on my hair journey 9since my early teens), experimenting, going natural, relaxing etc.. i'm ready to take a break. I'm going to try to twist/braid my hair up for the rest of the year. I think you are on the right track by giving yourself a break.

You may also want to talk with yourself about why you no longer feel that spark. Priorities and people change. You are A-ok OP. Many members have since moved on from the hair section of the board because of this. It's a personal choice/realization I think. HTH

 

[lustrous]

ms.blue I wouldn't worry too much about benign neglect turning disastrous. (the fact that you are aware of this as a possibility greatly decreases the chance that it will happen) ALOT of ladies on this board are in bare minimum, maintenance mode and they have drool-worthy hair.

 

[KhandiB]

I lost my passion, and ended up with broken hairs and split ends and am now just getting back on track. I was basically at BSL and sometimes life gets in they way, work, kids, husband, I just didnt care at one point, but now I just make sure take some time to take care of myself. I wasnt doing it before and my hair definitely suffered.

Good Luck to you lady

 

[jerseygurl]

I don't think you are doing anything wrong, you now know how to take care of your hair so it's no longer "new" to you. As long as you know you what to do to your hair, you'll be fine. HHG

 

[candy626]

Yea I've been feeling the same way. I feel like getting a weave for the summer so I don't even have to worry about styling my own hair. Some days i just want my hair to look cute and don't necessarily want to be bothered with protective styles and all that stuff.

 

[JudithO]

Hey ms.blue I totally agree with Nonie .... you are becoming normal... lol... Lucky you.. At least you know what works for you and are rest assured that if you wash/DC weekly. you'll keep it healthy and growing...

Unlike you... I WANT to get to a place where care for my hair (relaxed or natural) is routine... Not that exciting.... Living, breathing hair for me is just to tiring, worrisome, and disturbing.... Since I relaxed my hair... I've been breathing a lot easier.... cos I desperately needed change... but I slowly morphing into a PJ... lol...

No worries my dear.... Keep up your reggie.... Find another hobbie.... and be rewarded with long beautiful hair without trying at all

 

[*CherryPie*]

I'm with you OP. But, like everyone has said, it's perfectly normal. I still take care of my hair, but the whole "hair journey" is no longer exciting...and i'm okay with it.

I've since gotten excited about makeup, then skincare. Now that I have LOADS of great makeup and my skin is looking great, i'm now excited about losing weight. The weight is coming off and i'm back in a habit of exercising.

I'm sure, one day, i'm going to get excited about my hair again. But i'm not rushing it because i'm having too much fun with my new interests.

 

[CurlsBazillion]

I think the ones who don't care as much retain the most. If I cared less I could keep my hair in a ps longer and retain more because of the lack of manipulation. I would knock out my DC every other week and just don't worry about it anymore. But I'm towards the end of being that girl that won't leave her poor hair alone. I am starting to push my DC back a few day out of not feeling like it so I'm on my way to caring less. I can't wait.

 

[D.Lisha]

Op, I feel you. I'm actually going through the same change right about now. I'm currently wearing a sew-in, which makes it alittle easier. I'm on this whole new "set-it and forget it" type mode.
Also, as DayDreamist mentioned: The ones who play less attention see to be the ones that retain more. I'm a firm believer in this! I can't wait to take down my sew-in and see the progress but after I let my hair breathe for a bit, I plan on sewing it right back up and letting it do it's thing on it's on [set it and forget it mode] lol

 

[pre_medicalrulz]

I feel that way all the time lately. I just throw on a wig and keep it moving now. I still wash weekly but that's about it. Then under a wig it goes for another week. It's most likely normal.

 

[SheenaVee]

I'm feeling the same way. Cannot be bothered with my hair and bored of it. I really wanna BC again so it will be quicker and easier to style and I'll gain interest in it again, but then I think I will regret BCing.

 

[Ogoma]

I don't think too much about my hair unless I am doing it and I spend about 15 minutes doing it almost every day (non-wash day). I also don't think about my skincare, makeup, clothes, etc unless I am actively doing something in that arena. I view my doing my hair like washing and moisturizing my body, doing it everyday doesn't make me obsessed, it just basic maintenance for me.

 

[Angelinhell]

Me too, so much so I'm now feening for some microbraids, but that happens for me at least twice a year

 

[Shadiyah]

I have been feeling like the passion I once had for my hair is slowly going away....well at this point, it is pretty much gone. I remember the time when I would enjoy washing and deep conditioning my hair, now it seems more like a chore. Since december I have cut about 5" of my hair and I don't even care whereas, a year ago, I would have cringe at the thought. I believe maybe I'm just sick and tired of my hair. The goals I set for myself don't even matter no more but the thing is that I'm trying to stay motivated by coming here and seeing progress pics and watching yt but the spark is gone. I braided my hair last month and took it down to install a weave w/o giving my hair a break just b/c I didn't want to have deal w/ my hair. Has anyone felt this way? What did you do to regain that spark again?

I am so very sorry to hear this. do you mean that you just was cutting your hair just to be doing it or you had a set back?

I think as long as you are still babying your hair I would not worry about your down time. I don't worry anymore about oh am I growing or not I just worry now about taking care of it and checking every 6 months.

 

[ms.blue]

Shadiyah, I didn't cut my hair b/c I had a setback, I was cutting b/c I didn't want to deal w/ my hair anymore. The mere look of my hair was frustrating me like I couldn't stand the look of my hair. I guess maybe its my way of thinking that I'm over this whole hair growth obsession thing.

 

[Kn0ttyByNatur3]

I feel you, OP.

It felt like once my hair got to a comfortable length (APL) I stopped putting a lot of effort into it and I became lazy with it.

Just went coasting along, letting my hair do it's own thing.

 

[Bnster]

True, I never thought I would ever lose awe on everything that is hair. I think it comes and goes that feeling. Also recently I feel a little bit liberated that all the time I was taking for my hair I can do dry DC steaming and cowash, my hair will be fine. So far my hair really likes it. Yet I am not going to stop there I will do my prepoo, protein treatments and DC, periodically. Try to find a way to simplify your wash process and you will fall in love with the whole hair game again. Enjoy that extension of you and while you do other things it will grow and be retained with some TLC.

Good luck and I think it is normal to loose some interest, but don't loose it all okay. Keep on trucking and your hair will love your for it and you will love yourself for it too.

Now I am just lazy to flat iron to do a length check. This year is a lot different from last year for sure, but I will not let my hair game go.

Simplify and don't make it a task and you will do good and go onto to other things needing accomplishing. Later Diva!

 

[Evolving78]

i love all things hair, so i don't think the passion will die. but i am trying to do the least amount to my hair. i am now back to washing and dc'ing once a week and wearing a bun.

 

[Shadiyah]

Shadiyah, I didn't cut my hair b/c I had a setback, I was cutting b/c I didn't want to deal w/ my hair anymore. The mere look of my hair was frustrating me like I couldn't stand the look of my hair. I guess maybe its my way of thinking that I'm over this whole hair growth obsession thing.

ms.blue that is so sad... Your growth was great but I hope you like your lengh now. I love when I use to rollerset my hair and get all that bounce of curls. maybe that will help you.