Major Set-back Waiting to Happen...HELP!

[haitiancutie]

Alright...I'll give you the low down to the very dramatic title, LOL. Last week (I had to wait until I was calm enough to write this) I had my hair relaxed by godmother. I used to get my hair relaxed by my aunt who would charge $25 to relax my hair and $10 to wash it but that soon proved to be too hard on my wallet and I stopped going. My godmother, who has a beautician degree, moved to the city and offered to take care of all my family's hair for free. Now you know I was all over it!

Well, I went to my godmother in January and she insisted to put the relaxer from ROOT TO TIP! When I saw what was going on, I told her to please not relax my whole head but she told me that I had too much "naps" and that my relaxer stopped working . It was too late so I told her OK, just please make sure not to put it through my entire head this time.

Fast forward to last week (and alot of protein and moisture treatments later) and she's not only putting the relaxer throughout my entire head but she is also combing through my hair with a SMALL-TOOTH COMB!! Before the whole debacle happened and I was getting my hair prepped, I asked her not to put the relaxer on my whole length of hair. I even made up a lie that my ends were breaking off so she wouldn't do it. But she just sucked her teeth and told me that it was because I wet my hair too much and that she had to relax my hair to "correct the problem."

I argued with her at the beginning but, after realizing that she would not back down no matter what, I sat in the chair and tried to stamp down my anger. My question to all you lovely ladies would be...how the hell do I handle this situation? I have already decided to dedicate time to becoming a self-relaxer so I could finally be free of this mess...but how do I tell my godmother that I would like her to kindly GTFO (off) my hair without hurting her feelings because - other than this issue - I love her dearly and we have a great relationship. Also, any tips on how to become a self-laxer. Thank you for reading my epic novel. Don't be shy, I'm a newbie and I need all the help I can get oke:

 

[chebaby]

you can just not go to her any more. if its too much on your wallet to go to someone that does it right then just stretch your relaxer until you have the money. im a soft spoken person and even i would tell her that its my hair and i want it done my way.

 

[prospurr4]

I would kindly tell her that you really appreciate her for taking care of your hair, but you really want to do it yourself. Hopefully, she will understand.

 

[msa]

You have to be careful of people doing things for free...they usually feel it's a license for them to do what they want, however they want to do it.

I suggest you tell her you decided to do your own hair for the time being because she won't follow your instructions about handling your hair. There's no reason to make up a story or beat around the bush. Let her know that you appreciate her doing it for free but that you are worried about your hair's health and the negative long term effects of relaxing root to tip and using a small toothed comb.

Do you have daughters? I wouldn't let her do their heads either.

 

[BostonMaria]

Well it would be easy for me. Its either go to a certain person and have no hair OR stretch my relaxers and go to the $35 aunt hairdresser.

Back when I used to self-relax in the early 90's my hair was at its best. I say pay $10 for a relaxer and do it yourself. If not, we're going to read a thread about how you went from APL to NL. Its your call.

 

[Bianna125]

I'm sorry she didn't listen to you but I'm glad you're gonna STOP GOING TO HER! I would just tell her the truth. Find a stylist who listens to you or do it yourself.

 

[locabouthair]

Dont go to her anymore!!

Tell her you want to do your hair yourself. As a stylist, she should know that putting the relaxer from root to tip PLUS coming it through the hair with a fine tooth comb at that, is very damaging to their hair.

 

[Truth]

Simply tell her that you no longer need her to do your hair.. that you feel better doing it yourself. Especially if she's not willing to listen to you,nor respect that fact that you do not want relaxer on the length of your hair.. That way it can get done the way you want it..

I use to self relax... My only tip is make sure you get all of it out..lol

 

[haitiancutie]

Thanks for all the replies, you guys...I was feeling a little overwhelmed. I'll try to tell her the best that I can. But she also has another accomplice...my mom. My mom is even forcing me to go to her every 2 weeks to wash my hair so it looks "more straight and cuter". Apparently protective styling isn't pretty enough for her. Also, I'm Haitian and the adults are REALLY headstrong...especially since my mother keeps shaking her head whenever she sees my hair in a plastic cap while I'm DCing. They just won't take into account that that was what made my hair flourish. Well, I'm off to look for DIY self-relaxing threads...I hope that I'll be able to absorb as much as I can because I'd rather mess my own hair up instead of letting others do it for me. Does anyone know where I should start?

 

[Eisani]

How is your mother forcing you to go to her? Are you under 18? I'm not being facetious by any means, but the only time my mother had say over who did my hair was when I was a child. Furthermore, if it isn't her money, what difference should it make if you decide to save up and pay auntie to do your hair right?

I wouldn't even go into much detail with godmother, just tell her that after watching her technique, she really inspired you to give it a go on your own

 

[Denise11]

I wouldn't even go into much detail with godmother, just tell her that after watching her technique, she really inspired you to give it a go on your own

Haha! That's a good one.