Married Ladies, do you have male friends?

[kennypoo315]

Hello Ladies,

My pastor was saying in a sermon that when he and his wife got married they ended all opposite sex friendships. Seemed a bit extreme to me. Then today I was watching Creflo Dollar and he talked about how he was uncomfortable with his wife having a male best friend. He said it had to do with emotional intimacy and by his wife having a male best friend it was like someone else was meeting a need he was supposed to meet.

Do you ladies have male friends? Does your husband have female friends?

 

[honeyflaava]

I am not married, but I agree that a married couple should end their personal relationships with individuals of the opposite sex, particularly for the reason that Creflo stated. My pastor says it this way in regards to he and his wife, "I AM her male friend; she IS my female friend." However, it is a different situation when you as a married couple have other married couples as friends. In that type of situation, "they" as a collective unit would be your friends.

When you get married, there should be shift in all of the other relationships you have. Some will end, and others you will have to redefine the nature of the relationship, specifically regarding friendships with single friends of the same sex. But that's a completely different topic...

 

[Laela]

This is well said and makes sense.... when we got married we both got together and agreed to cut off "friends" especially -- those with whom we have had any form of intimacy with -- not necessarily including sex. I think over time, keeping a relationship where emotional intimacy is a part of the relationship will sooner or later cause damage to a marriage -- no matter how innocent the relationship may may seem. IOW, leave no stones unturned.

When you get married, there should be shift in all of the other relationships you have. Some will end, and others you will have to redefine the nature of the relationship, specifically regarding friendships with single friends of the same sex. But that's a completely different topic...

 

[goldielocs]

You have me thinking about this now.... I have lots of "associates" who are male and female, but I have 3 friends whom I consider my sisters in Christ. They are some fierce prayer warriors so I don't consider them a threat. I only keep contact with my male and female "associates" through facebook so it's never been an issue within my marriage.

I understand what both pastors are saying about being the male/female best friend of your spouse. I didn't make a point to cut friends off when we got married, but it happened over time because we had less in common with one another.

 

[Prudent1]

Kennypoo,
Who ever said God was dull does not know him!! I just finished listening to Focus on the Family's show from yesterday and your question was addressed in the show. :wink2: As so many of the other ladies here have stated it is the possibility of an emotional bond being formed with a member of the opposite sex. Satan does not care how he destroys only that he is successful in the end. I have always had more male friends than females. I rationalized this b/c I grew up around older male siblings. In wisdom I know now that my male friends are not going to be brutally honest with me in the same way that another female would be- it's the protector in them. Anyway, I was challenged to renew my thinking (Rom 12:2) and to see what God's word had to say on the matter. I'm not trying to institute some new doctrine but I know wisdom when I have heard it. Here is a link to the broadcast.The topic is 'Getting yourself ready for marriage'. Even if you are married we still need marriage 'tune ups' periodically!! Clearly I heard this for me and you. :scratchch

Prudent1

http://listen.family.org/daily/A000002081.cfm

 

[queenspence]

Honesty with yourself and spouse is what is most important. I am referring to absolute and pure honesty. You know within yourself what is right and what's not for your own marriage. Also, God will convict and reveal as necessary. What works for one couple may not for another but always use God's word as the basis and foundation-