My hair drama *sigh*

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Bublnbrnsuga

Guest
I have been really struggling with my hair this year. It seems as it is getting longer, it is becoming more unmanageable. The styles that are dear to my heart that required almost no effort on my part are becoming very difficult for me to do. Natural girls, I am gonna be honest- I am tired of two strands, twistouts, I can't do puffs like I used to (takes too much time), and the list goes on and on. I even contemplated getting another relaxer,but I know that won't solve the problem and I am so loving my natural hair. I've considered chopping my hair off to the length it was last year so it would be more manageable,but I am already past brastrap length and I don't want the cutting because it's getting longer and unmanageable to become a yearly habit. It seems that the longer my hair gets, the thinner the ends are (mainly in the front). I think the only people who could help me would be the ladies at Curve,but right now, the thought of me going to the salon is not feasible, plus it would be pretty pricey for me to keep up the cut. I considered going to a white salon,but my hair would prolly have to be straightened before they can cut it,then there's the risk of them cutting TOO much off. Dang-I think I should just shave my head. I am so frustrated.
 

naptrl

Dr. Naptrl :)
AAWWWWWW Bublin!! :kiss: Don't worry. Your hair is absolutely beautiful and is a inspiration to sooo many. Including ME! Please don't cut it and don't you DARE get a relaxer!!! Why don't you try getting braids or conrows for a while so you don't have to deal with it?! I had brastrap length hair before and I still got braids..It helped me get through the frustrating times.
 

PretteePlease

#fakeworkouts
oh no bub dont shave it all off!!! maybe you should just go to a white salon and have them trim the front where you feel its thin. they will probably cut your hair wet i dont think it will need to be straightened. get a hairstyle book and try some experiments
it sounds like your hair is going thru some growing pains. maybe you can do the wash and go thing for a while or is that too unmanagable.
 
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Bublnbrnsuga

Guest
Hey Naptrl!! I had been considering cornrows until this hair dilemma of mine gets better. I know someone who is a great braider (she braided my hair in my album) and she only charges 20.00. It is just that I wonder how long I will have to keep my hair braided until this hair dilemma is over.
 

jainygirl

New Member
I would do something to keep my hair off my mind for a while (Individuals w/o weave, or cornrows or something) while you think about what you want to do with your hair. The cut sounds like a good idea. You may not need to take nearly as much off as you think. You may even want to just try a different haircut so that your hair falls differently or something. Sometimes the smallest things are what make the biggest difference. Good luck :) -- jainygirl
 
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Bublnbrnsuga

Guest
msportugal said:
oh no bub dont shave it all off!!! maybe you should just go to a white salon and have them trim the front where you feel its thin. they will probably cut your hair wet i dont think it will need to be straightened. get a hairstyle book and try some experiments
it sounds like your hair is going thru some growing pains. maybe you can do the wash and go thing for a while or is that too unmanagable.

They cut hair wet!!?? Do you think I should call around first because they may straighten the crap out of my hair once they see it wet,LOL!!
 

zigzag1

New Member
Don't even think about cutting and relaxing your hair:naughty: I agree with the suggestions of braiding and cornrows until the frustration passes. :kiss:
 

Poohbear

Fearfully Wonderfully Made
Whatever u do, do not shave your hair off. Your natural hair is beautiful! You've done a great job caring for your hair throughout your whole transitioning process and now that you're natural. Take care!
 

nurseN98

Ayiti cherie
Your hair is sooo pretty! I agree with braiding or cornrows for a while so that you don't have to deal with it. If your ends are thinner, you should get a trim anyway, just make sure they're not scissor-happy. Also, are you against temporary straightening? I've straightened my hair twice so far, during the week that it's straightened, it's a nice little break for me and usually by the time the week is over, I'm ready and refreshed to deal with my itty-bitty transitioning coils again. Don't worry, you'll get past this phase :)
 

naptrl

Dr. Naptrl :)
Bublnbrnsuga said:
Hey Naptrl!! I had been considering cornrows until this hair dilemma of mine gets better. I know someone who is a great braider (she braided my hair in my album) and she only charges 20.00. It is just that I wonder how long I will have to keep my hair braided until this hair dilemma is over.
It usually doesn't take long to get over a hair dilemma Bubln. It's normally more just in your head b/c you're frustrated. Just get braids for a minute to take your mind off it and you should be fine! I'm in a sew-in right now for this same reason, girl! I'm loving it. I just keep my hair moisturized and I get tons of compliments on it!!
 

mytia

SuperWoman!
jainygirl said:
I would do something to keep my hair off my mind for a while (Individuals w/o weave, or cornrows or something) while you think about what you want to do with your hair. The cut sounds like a good idea. You may not need to take nearly as much off as you think. You may even want to just try a different haircut so that your hair falls differently or something. Sometimes the smallest things are what make the biggest difference. Good luck :) -- jainygirl

ITA. although I think your hair is beautiful as is too but you have to deal with it on a day to day basis, so maybe a SMALL;) cut would work out. Are there any salons in your area that deal with natural hair?
 

thickness

Well-Known Member
I can definitely feel your pain. I am in a sew-in weave right now because os the same styling issues. Once my hair gets a certain length, it gets those knots on the ends no matter how much I trim. I was so frustrated two years ago that I thought texturizing was the answer, but it wasn't. Instead of the knots, my hair would tangle very easily. I would suggest cornrows or braids until this phase (because that's what it is) passes. You will be so mad with yourself if you do something drastic. Just wait it out.
 

sillygurl18

New Member
Maybe keep your hair braided with your own hair in individuals for a while. Have someone do it for you. I'm going to try keeping my hair in braids w/o weave for all of April and maybe May as well. You will start to miss your hair loose and when you DO take down the braids, you won't be as frustrated.
 

hopeful

Well-Known Member
I think we all come here initially to grow long hair but sometimes our needs and desires change. I think hair just past shoulder-length is so pretty and bouncy. The longer it gets well it just seems to get longer but not necessarily prettier. I agree that you should braid it for a while and get your mind off your hair but if you decide that you are happier with hair that's a little shorter that's cool too. The primary goal I think is not that you have really long hair but that you be happy with your hair and how you look. Try to make the choice that brings you the most joy.
 

aqualung

New Member
Bublnbrnsuga said:
I've considered chopping my hair off to the length it was last year so it would be more manageable,but I am already past brastrap length and I don't want the cutting because it's getting longer and unmanageable to become a yearly habit. It seems that the longer my hair gets, the thinner the ends are (mainly in the front).

If you're past your goal length and styles are getting difficult, why not just trim back to your ideal length again? Straighten it completely (flat iron) and take a trip to Supercuts for a trim. Then you can do your braid outs, puffs, and twists etc with ease.

I have girlfriends who trim in the spring so that their hair isn't heavy all summer. I'm a twice yearly trimmer.

Gorgeous hair any way you style it, Bubln.
 

Enchantmt

Progress...not perfection
*Drooling ova the thought of brastrap NATURAL hair*

I know you're frustrated but think long and hard before you do a drastic cut, even tho it will grow back. On the other hand, if the length is causing you stress and taking the joy away from your hair, a more manageable length may be for you. Just think it through first and don't make a change out of frustration because those changes you tend to regret.

Have you read they curly girl book? She has a recommendation for doing a cut on curly hair. When I get home I can type it up for you if you need me to. Good luck!
 
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Bublnbrnsuga

Guest
nurseN98 said:
Your hair is sooo pretty! I agree with braiding or cornrows for a while so that you don't have to deal with it. If your ends are thinner, you should get a trim anyway, just make sure they're not scissor-happy. Also, are you against temporary straightening? I've straightened my hair twice so far, during the week that it's straightened, it's a nice little break for me and usually by the time the week is over, I'm ready and refreshed to deal with my itty-bitty transitioning coils again. Don't worry, you'll get past this phase :)

No, I am not against straightening at all. I just don't trust any of these stylists to straighten my hair and I don't have a ceramic iron yet so that I can straighten it myself. I recently blowdried my hair and although it has really grown, it does need a shaping. Now another dilemma is finding someone who I can trust to trim it.
 
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Bublnbrnsuga

Guest
sillygurl18 said:
Maybe keep your hair braided with your own hair in individuals for a while. Have someone do it for you. I'm going to try keeping my hair in braids w/o weave for all of April and maybe May as well. You will start to miss your hair loose and when you DO take down the braids, you won't be as frustrated.

This is what I plan on doing. I don't think I want to deal with weaves at the moment.
 

sugarsweet

New Member
Bubln cheer up ;) I am going through the same thing I want a sew in sooooo bad. I am in the process of finding someone to do it right now. any way I think your hair is very pretty natural and the way I look at it we're just trying to get to know are hair better and we're going to struggle a little until we gett it right. longer hair takes a lot more time to work with than short hair that is why not everyone has it. mybey you could do the baggie method while trying to figure it all out. :grin: that's what I do sometimes. but what every you do try not to cut it :nono:
 

Divastate

Member
I hope you can find a good salon that knows how to cut curly hair- I bet a really great cut will make washing and going a lot easier with less tangles. Definitely do NOT shave that gorgeous head of hair though. Good luck I know you'll find a solution. My hair has been behaving nicely for me lately but I know once I get tired of it again I'll be getting a sew in weave or braids for awhile.
 
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Bublnbrnsuga

Guest
Enchantmt said:
*Drooling ova the thought of brastrap NATURAL hair*

I know you're frustrated but think long and hard before you do a drastic cut, even tho it will grow back. On the other hand, if the length is causing you stress and taking the joy away from your hair, a more manageable length may be for you. Just think it through first and don't make a change out of frustration because those changes you tend to regret.

Have you read they curly girl book? She has a recommendation for doing a cut on curly hair. When I get home I can type it up for you if you need me to. Good luck!


:kiss: That will be such a help to me! Thanks!!
 

Tru_Mind

New Member
Bublnbrnsuga said:
I have been really struggling with my hair this year. It seems as it is getting longer, it is becoming more unmanageable. The styles that are dear to my heart that required almost no effort on my part are becoming very difficult for me to do. Natural girls, I am gonna be honest- I am tired of two strands, twistouts, I can't do puffs like I used to (takes too much time), and the list goes on and on. I even contemplated getting another relaxer,but I know that won't solve the problem and I am so loving my natural hair. I've considered chopping my hair off to the length it was last year so it would be more manageable,but I am already past brastrap length and I don't want the cutting because it's getting longer and unmanageable to become a yearly habit. It seems that the longer my hair gets, the thinner the ends are (mainly in the front). I think the only people who could help me would be the ladies at Curve,but right now, the thought of me going to the salon is not feasible, plus it would be pretty pricey for me to keep up the cut. I considered going to a white salon,but my hair would prolly have to be straightened before they can cut it,then there's the risk of them cutting TOO much off. Dang-I think I should just shave my head. I am so frustrated.

Bubln, I had similar thoughts when I was transitioning, but not as a natural...even though I'm still learning my natural hair.

Have you thought about changing your products...or even using the same products that you used before you relaxed? Some products work well in the beginning and then after a while they seem to do nothing for our hair. We think that it's our hair, but it's the products.

Your twist-outs, straightened hair, puffs, and cornrows, etc. are all beautiful!!!
 

babyblue

New Member
Dont worry i think every natural has been through this at one time or another. Its usually a passing phase which eventually goes away.

like others have suggested why dont you get some braids, weave, or a flat ironed style to switch it up a bit. maybe try learning to trim your own hair.

in the meantime :spank: dont you even think about relaxing or cutting that hair
 

inthepink

New Member
Sorry that you're having a tough time with your hair right now. Maybe if you found a salon that specializes in curls and get a nice shaping trim (even if it has to be straightened). I think you should do whatever you can to enjoy your natural hair.
 

BAILEYSCREAM

New Member
Bublnbrnsuga said:
I have been really struggling with my hair this year. It seems as it is getting longer, it is becoming more unmanageable. The styles that are dear to my heart that required almost no effort on my part are becoming very difficult for me to do. Natural girls, I am gonna be honest- I am tired of two strands, twistouts, I can't do puffs like I used to (takes too much time), and the list goes on and on. I even contemplated getting another relaxer,but I know that won't solve the problem and I am so loving my natural hair. I've considered chopping my hair off to the length it was last year so it would be more manageable,but I am already past brastrap length and I don't want the cutting because it's getting longer and unmanageable to become a yearly habit. It seems that the longer my hair gets, the thinner the ends are (mainly in the front). I think the only people who could help me would be the ladies at Curve,but right now, the thought of me going to the salon is not feasible, plus it would be pretty pricey for me to keep up the cut. I considered going to a white salon,but my hair would prolly have to be straightened before they can cut it,then there's the risk of them cutting TOO much off. Dang-I think I should just shave my head. I am so frustrated.

Don't you dare cut your hair. Get braids or cornrows.....Save up and buy a flat iron........ but don't cut it!:nono:
 
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