Nat 4a's!! Save My Niece from a Relaxer!!

[OnceUponAtime]

No actually I get my unrefined shea at African festivals or African stores. I like the ones mixed w/a little palm oil even more. You can also buy online at Nasabb.com. But I like to smell my shea cause some batches are more smoky than others. If I don't used straight unrefined shea, I buy whipped shea butter online at oyinhandmade.com. It's a light consistency (i.e. whipped) so it can spread easier.

That whipped butter is intriguing. The PJ monster is roaring in me today.

 

[Poohbear]

Sorry that you are going through this Much2much41.

I do not have a set routine. I do different styles all the time.

My hair is very very tightly coiled as well and shrinks like 75%. I likes to be left alone but I always like to stretch it out in a big puff!

But maybe she should try washing it, apply curl activator and oil/grease, slick it back into a puff, and just leave it like that without combing or anything. She can moisturize it daily to prevent dryness. This is what I plan on doing to give my hair a break from wearing it stretched out all the time.

 

[MissFallon]

Why doesn't she just press it and then put it in ponytails with barrets? That is what my mother did to my hair when I was young until about 12 when I relaxed. Then at night just tie up the hair good with a doo-rag or a scarf that will stay so she would only have to brush it in the morning. Also, maybe if she tried S-Curl on her daughter's hair she could manage it better and be able to style it a little easier.

 

[Denim And Leather]

You should stress to your sister that even if she relaxes her daughter's hair, she will still have to do things to take care of it, which to me would seem like she would have to do more, than if she left her daughter's hair natural. In addition to keeping her daughter's hair moisturized, she will have to deal with new growth, protective styles, etc. To me, it sounds much easeir to leave her daughter's hair natural, and I agree that no little girl should have chemicals on her hair, I don't care if they do make kiddie relaxers!

My sister relaxed her daughter's hair about a year ago (she's 11 now) and didn't maintain it, and now the poor girl doesn't have enough hair for a ponytail!

 

[Much2much41]

Sorry that you are going through this Much2much41.

I do not have a set routine. I do different styles all the time.

My hair is very very tightly coiled as well and shrinks like 75%. I likes to be left alone but I always like to stretch it out in a big puff!

But maybe she should try washing it, apply curl activator and oil/grease, slick it back into a puff, and just leave it like that without combing or anything. She can moisturize it daily to prevent dryness. This is what I plan on doing to give my hair a break from wearing it stretched out all the time.

Thanks. I needed some info on wearing it curly/coily and on straight (pressed, blow dry) styles, so this is much appreciated. I think I can get her to do both, especially if I help.

 

[Much2much41]

You should stress to your sister that even if she relaxes her daughter's hair, she will still have to do things to take care of it, which to me would seem like she would have to do more, than if she left her daughter's hair natural. In addition to keeping her daughter's hair moisturized, she will have to deal with new growth, protective styles, etc. To me, it sounds much easeir to leave her daughter's hair natural, and I agree that no little girl should have chemicals on her hair, I don't care if they do make kiddie relaxers!

My sister relaxed her daughter's hair about a year ago (she's 11 now) and didn't maintain it, and now the poor girl doesn't have enough hair for a ponytail!

Why didn't she take care of that child's hair? I'll come over and help you beat her down if you want me to

Thanks for the info

 

[Denim And Leather]

Why didn't she take care of that child's hair? I'll come over and help you beat her down if you want me to

Thanks for the info

You're very welcome!

You know, I have no idea why my sister didn't take care of her daughter's hair, I'm sure she would say that because she works at night, she just didn't have the time, but that is no excuse, any excuse she would give is no good. I thought she'd know better, since we went through the same thing growing up (our mother relaxed our hair and didn't care for it properly, so our hair broke off. One of my sisters had mid back 3C hair and it broke off to ear length within a year after our mother got to it!) My poor niece didn't even want to go to school because she was embarrassed because of her hair, and this breaks my heart! It reminds me all too well of how I felt so insecure about my broken hair when I was a teen..

Thanks for the offer of the beat down, lol!

 

[neena]

My mother had the same problem dealing with my hair. I had the same texture as your niece but mine was about APL. She, having very soft and manageable type 3a hair, had no idea how to manage mine and just washing and daily combing my hair was torture. Aynway to make a long story short, she put a kiddie relaxer in my hair when i was 3 and my hair broke off very badly. And this was after taking me to the salon for professional care.I went from having APL hair when stretched to about 1.5 inches of hair allover. It was horrible and i looked like a little boy Please tell her to wait a few more years before relaxing her hair, because I really hate to see this happen to someone else.

 

[Much2much41]

My mother had the same problem dealing with my hair. I had the same texture as your niece but mine was about APL. She, having very soft and manageable type 3a hair, had no idea how to manage mine and just washing and daily combing my hair was torture. Aynway to make a long story short, she put a kiddie relaxer in my hair when i was 3 and my hair broke off very badly. And this was after taking me to the salon for professional care.I went from having APL hair when stretched to about 1.5 inches of hair allover. It was horrible and i looked like a little boy Please tell her to wait a few more years before relaxing her hair, because I really hate to see this happen to someone else.

Aww, but I bet you looked cute, though . I'll tell her what you said. Thanks

 

[nurseN98]

When I was a kid my mom used all the "wrong" stuff. But I still had long hair. Now as an adult I wear my hair coily so I wet it daily...but with a kid, I don't think having the ends out all the time would be good. I'm pretty much with the wash, deep condition and detangle once a week and put the girl's hair into 5 or 6 cute braids, not too tight braids. My mom used to do my hair everynight before going to bed, just take the braids down, remoisturize and comb through then re-braid. I've been wearing satin head wraps at night since I was pretty much out the womb...lol. But if that won't work maybe a satin bonnet or silk pillowcase. She would be done in 10 or 15min and in the morning she didn't have to worry about it. Once my hair was detangled and braided, there was no need for hour long combing session.

I'on know it's a kid, if you get everything together once a week and plan it shouldn't be too much of a hassle.

 

[scorpian]

If you want something that can be purchased at the store The kids organics moisturizer does work well along with the jamaican mango and lime gro spray used as a detangler

If you order online check out the childrens sample pack from sistasplace.biz (sample had Blended beauty,curls,Long lovely locks)
For $20.00 plus shipping they will send you a nice assortment of samples of products.
Shipping was fast.

Right now my daughter and I are both in loooove with the Blended Beauty line!!Hands down they are the best products that we've used.They smell good enough to eat.They detangle,cleanse and condition and knock out tangles and frizz like nobodys business!!!!!!Love, love ,love them!!! If it wasn't for the sampler i don't think I would've tried this line.Now I am soooo happy that we've finally found our staples.

Good luck with your neice I'm sure you'll find the right combo for her hair

 

[Country gal]

Why doesn't she put her hair in twists or braid it? These mothers that insist natural 4 hair is so unmanagable are annoying. Tell her to use a good detangler with a den man brush. I use Biolage detangling lotion which is nothing but the truth. I wish I could do her hair. How often is she washing her hair?

 

[scorpian]

Why doesn't she put her hair in twists or braid it? These mothers that insist natural 4 hair is so unmanagable are annoying. Tell her to use a good detangler with a den man brush. I use Biolage detangling lotion which is nothing but the truth. I wish I could do her hair. How often is she washing her hair?

ITA with using the denman brush.I recently purchased the Biolage it worked well after a day at the beach . If anyone wants to try Biolage please buy it from a Salon or a store that only sells salon quality products.The knock off at the Asian beauty supply is not the same product but costs the same as the real deal.

 

[Much2much41]

When I was a kid my mom used all the "wrong" stuff. But I still had long hair. Now as an adult I wear my hair coily so I wet it daily...but with a kid, I don't think having the ends out all the time would be good. I'm pretty much with the wash, deep condition and detangle once a week and put the girl's hair into 5 or 6 cute braids, not too tight braids. My mom used to do my hair everynight before going to bed, just take the braids down, remoisturize and comb through then re-braid. I've been wearing satin head wraps at night since I was pretty much out the womb...lol. But if that won't work maybe a satin bonnet or silk pillowcase. She would be done in 10 or 15min and in the morning she didn't have to worry about it. Once my hair was detangled and braided, there was no need for hour long combing session.

I'on know it's a kid, if you get everything together once a week and plan it shouldn't be too much of a hassle.

Actually, if I'm around, I end up combing it, because my sister hates doing it. My niece cries even if you try to part it, and it's so thick that it has to be sectioned off in small parts to get it to lay down, otherwise, it's too hard to detangle when it's taken down. But trust me, I have all kinds of detanglers, combs, pomades, oil, and everything else surrounding me when I do it. I plan to the last hair follicle with her

 

[Much2much41]

If you want something that can be purchased at the store The kids organics moisturizer does work well along with the jamaican mango and lime gro spray used as a detangler

If you order online check out the childrens sample pack from sistasplace.biz (sample had Blended beauty,curls,Long lovely locks)
For $20.00 plus shipping they will send you a nice assortment of samples of products.
Shipping was fast.

Right now my daughter and I are both in loooove with the Blended Beauty line!!Hands down they are the best products that we've used.They smell good enough to eat.They detangle,cleanse and condition and knock out tangles and frizz like nobodys business!!!!!!Love, love ,love them!!! If it wasn't for the sampler i don't think I would've tried this line.Now I am soooo happy that we've finally found our staples.

Good luck with your neice I'm sure you'll find the right combo for her hair

That's what she needs, especially the cleansing part. I can wash and wash her hair, and it still have lint in it when I'm done. I've never seen hair attract so much lint in my whole life Are those products good for excessive dryness? Both my niece AND nephew inherited extremely dry hair from their dad. I think I'm going to try the S Curl, but because she's so little and doesn't know any better, I can just see the sofas and walls looking like that scene of "Darryl's" parents and grandmother in Coming To America

 

[Much2much41]

Why doesn't she put her hair in twists or braid it? These mothers that insist natural 4 hair is so unmanagable are annoying. Tell her to use a good detangler with a den man brush. I use Biolage detangling lotion which is nothing but the truth. I wish I could do her hair. How often is she washing her hair?

I'm not sure how often she washes it, but I know she avoids it like the plague I purchased the Crown and Glory Detangler, and it works very well, and she cries a lot less now, but she still will cry when trying to style her hair, which usually consists of getting it braided (when she can catch up with my cousin, because she doesn't want a lot of people braiding it to reduce the possibility of breakage), or we section it off into bantu knots and afro puffs. And I agree that she's annoying with this, but I guess it's also conditioning that we've received as black women for so long. All we used to see on the shelves are products to perm the hair, as opposed to learning to work with the natural textures. Things have come a long way, and I'm very receptive to learning how to manage her hair. I just have to get my sister to come along for the ride

Do you take anything internally to help combat dryness? I've given her hot oil treatments before, but somehow, it feels more coated than actually moisterized. Does that make sense? I would really like for hair to be truly moist, which I think will make it all the more manageable. Do you think Porosity Control would work on Natural hair?

 

[Much2much41]

ITA with using the denman brush.I recently purchased the Biolage it worked well after a day at the beach . If anyone wants to try Biolage please buy it from a Salon or a store that only sells salon quality products.The knock off at the Asian beauty supply is not the same product but costs the same as the real deal.

To you or Country Gal, what are those?

 

[ryanshope]

Much2much41,

DONT LET HER RELAX THAT CHILD'S HAIR!...ok now your sister is going to need this checklist as a bare minimum to style her hair..I have been relaxed for a LONG time but I do my cousin's hair(she is natural) and this has helped tremedously:

1. K-Cutter Comb..is is a large pick with handle...a must have for any texture natural hair..

2. Detangler--Biolage Detangling Solution is good(but there are others out there)

3. Gylcerin...good for moisturizing thru-out the day

4. Castor Oil....excellent for hot oil treatments...it is heavy so a little goes a long way...if her hair is kinky it is good undiluted..if her hair is fine textured try diluting with jojoba or grapeseed oil..

5. Blow dryer with comb attachment and brush...for straight styles...

6. Flat iron....again for straight styles...

I figure if she styles her hair in braids, twists, on wash day, tie her hair at night, she should be good...but relaxing her hair just opens a whole new world of care that can be very damaging....to her hair and her self-image..

 

[scorpian]

To you or Country Gal, what are those?

https://www.denmanbrush.com/store/results.asp?type=Classic&pcode=T003SBLK
Larger image

D3

The original and most popular Denman Classic Styling Brush featuring 7 rows of smooth nylon pins set into an anti-static natural rubber pad.

Ideal for: Smoothing and shaping all lengths and types of hair

You can find this brush at Sally Beauty for about $12.99 or buy the knockoff for less at any store that sells hair supplies it works just as well.I have the D5 because they don't have the D3 in stock in my area Denman.com has all of the brushes online
[FONT=arial, helvetica, sans-serif]BIOLAGE Detangling Solution[/FONT]

[FONT=arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Detangling Solution A light-conditioning system that eliminates static and leaves hair tangle-free with healthy-looking, natural shine. It's formula combines pure botanical extracts of Wheat Germ and Hops with mild conditioners that leave hair with added volume. Hair is softer, more voluminous. Apply to clean, damp hair and work through to ends of hair. Rinse thoroughly. Style as usual.[/FONT]

 

[scorpian]

That's what she needs, especially the cleansing part. I can wash and wash her hair, and it still have lint in it when I'm done. I've never seen hair attract so much lint in my whole life Are those products good for excessive dryness? Both my niece AND nephew inherited extremely dry hair from their dad. I think I'm going to try the S Curl, but because she's so little and doesn't know any better, I can just see the sofas and walls looking like that scene of "Darryl's" parents and grandmother in Coming To America

Yes.The products are excellent for excessively dry hair.Both the Blended Beauty and the Kids Organics line are made to combat dryness and leave the hair moist and soft to knockout tangles which makes combing and styling easier on the parents and the child

 

[Southernbella.]

This is a great thread. My daughter is 2 with 4a hair, and it's only getting longer and thicker. I'm not considering relaxing it ever, but I'm at a loss as to what to do with it, because I can't braid and it takes 2 of us just to wash it and I have never fully detangled it because she just is not having it.

Maybe I need to get that Denman. I bought a boar bristle brush for her form Sally's, but now I'm wondering if that was right.

Crown and Glory Detangler

Where did you buy it?

 

[scorpian]

This is a great thread. My daughter is 2 with 4a hair, and it's only getting longer and thicker. I'm not considering relaxing it ever, but I'm at a loss as to what to do with it, because I can't braid and it takes 2 of us just to wash it and I have never fully detangled it because she just is not having it.

Maybe I need to get that Denman. I bought a boar bristle brush for her form Sally's, but now I'm wondering if that was right.



Where did you buy it?

The Crown and Glory is actually a technique that's done by Robin Woods
The product is called afro detangler on the growafrohairlong.com website

 

[nissi]

For the child's hair dryness, saturate dry hair with a cheap conditioner like Suave or VO5 and co-wash it. After that, style as usual. Between that, and the S-Curl, that should help with the dryness. HTH! HHG!

 

[MeccaMedinah]

Any updates Much?

 

[Lovelylocs]

What do you think will happen if you relax her hair?

 

[Much2much41]

Any updates Much?

Yes, actually. I bought some S Curl, Organics Hair Mayo (Deep Conditioning), and Shea Butter. I have to get a few of the other products you ladies mentioned, but so far, so good. My mother and I are taking care of her hair, since she spends a lot of time with us. She's getting her hair washed using the Crown and Glory method (which is a GODSEND!!!), and deep conditioning with a plastic cap. I purchased a Andis for blowdrying (I don't care for heat much now that I'm airdrying my own hair, but you ladies know what I'm dealing with here ), and it gets straight enough so that it's much easier to comb through. No more tears My sister decided to take her to the Egyptians for a blowout on special occasions. So it looks like you ladies did it!!!

 

[Much2much41]

What do you think will happen if you relax her hair?

I don't think anything "bad" will happen, but I don't think a 5 year old needs a relaxer, especially considering all the products and methods available to work with her own texture. If she decides she wants one when she's older, then that's different, but I think it should be her decision, and not because my sister just wanted to save a little time/aggravation, or just wasn't educated on care for her hair.