Please give advice...Un-Christian Behavior

[MysTori]

Hey members,

I need your advice on something. My friend's, Niya, boyfriend has been lying to her for at least 8 months. He was in a relationship with another woman. Niya had a hunch he was cheating though. Well today, for some unknown reason, the other woman called Niya at her desk...at her job... and hung up. The girl did this about 3 or 4 times. Niya had been trying to call her boyfriend earlier. We were guessing that the girl saw Niya's work number on his phone and called Niya back. Of course the boyfriend isn't answering his phone.

Well Niya and the girl got into it about this guy. Now Niya is worried about the girl calling her job in the future, particularly starting trouble. The phone is a communal phone, any1 can answer it. What do you think she should do? She is in a bad position. She just loaned that joker $300 yesterday b/c he said he needed to get his daughter some gifts. Now we find out he's laying up with his woman. That's who he used the money on most likely.

She was already depressed about the fact that he was probably cheating on her. Now the other woman calls her job! And on top of that, Niya and her boyfriend are supposed to be out of their apartment next Saturday to move into the new apartment. Her finances were tied up in getting the household together. She didn't have a plan to pay the 1st month's rent herself.

I don't know what to say to her. We've prayed and cried and cried and prayed. This is the worse I've seen her and now her job might be on the line. Do ya'll have any advice? And PLEASE pray for her and a quick resolution to this issue. Thanks!

 

[star]

Her job will not be on the line if she tells the girl to stop calling. If she does not she can tell her supervisor who can tell the girl when she calls. It is against the law to call someone's job to harras them. This is why telemarketers only call homes. She can also take the girl to court if she does not have a reasonable employer and she gets fire. I dount if this happens employers must help employees in the situation. If you tell the person and they donot listen then they become liable.

Next, this all happen so she could move on with her life. It is actually a blessing although it hurt rights now. He is simply not ready to committ to anyone right now and I am sure he got other women. She has to find the strength to move on. If she is a Christian and fornicated with him then this is part of what sin does to those of us who are Christians. Sin no matter what it is if when continue in it will lead to destruction. Just keep praying with her and for her and when she has strength talk to her about the lessons she has learned. Our greatest accomplishments God will do in our lives will sometimes be when we are alone. Being alone helps us to focus on God and ourselves.

Let her know if they move into getter it will be a disaster. First because they are not married and second because he is looking for someone to take care of him. If she got him to write down about the money then she can get it back through small claims court. Or she can simply ask for her money and see what happens. If he promise to give it back tell him to sign a simple promissary note.

I am not trying to say anything bad about her but any type of sin will one day find us out and then the end is never pleasant. God cannot bless a relationship this is causally in sin unless they are seeking Him together to help them with their problem. Most of us have been down this road one way or another. You should be commened in trying to help her try to strengthen her with God's love for her and that is absolutely nothing wrong with her the boyfriend is just NOT ready for a committment and will do the same thing to the next girl until he matures mentally and spiritually. Your friend deserves better is she should not start letting men use her or the next man she meets will see that same spirit on her. She wants the spirit of a godly and empowered woman on her not a spirit of low-self esteem or abuse.

 

[Miz_Complexity]

I agree with Star, tell the girl not to call her on the job, if she does it again call the police and get a harassment charge on her.

Then your friend Niya should tell the loser it is over. It seem than she does not have any wool over her eyes and she knows he is cheating so she should just leave and get on with her life.

Niya deserves much better then to have a cheating, lying no good man in her life. She really could do badly by her self. I wish her the best. The best thing I can tell you is to be supportive when she decides to leave him. Be there for her it will be a long hard road to getting into a better relationship. Also let her know that all men are not lairs and cheaters.

 

[MysTori]

Thank you ladies for the advice. We never looked at from the "destruction of sin" point of view. She's been saying for a long time that God was dealing with her about the nature (sexual) of their relationship. She had stopped, and was beginning to read the bible and trying to be more obedient. I think this is one of the reasons he strayed. She explained this to him, he said he understood, but yet he still cheated. His excuse is that he doesn't love the other woman, he wants to spend his life with her. But yet he still goes over to the other woman's house and have relations with her. That's not love. Maybe he's used to her, she's a stable, honest, loving, faithful, hardworking person. You don't find that just anywhere. But I will talk to her about your suggestions. One good thing, this has made her more rooted in the bible and talking to God more.

 

[star]

Thank you ladies for the advice. We never looked at from the "destruction of sin" point of view. She's been saying for a long time that God was dealing with her about the nature (sexual) of their relationship. She had stopped, and was beginning to read the bible and trying to be more obedient. I think this is one of the reasons he strayed. She explained this to him, he said he understood, but yet he still cheated. His excuse is that he doesn't love the other woman, he wants to spend his life with her. But yet he still goes over to the other woman's house and have relations with her. That's not love. Maybe he's used to her, she's a stable, honest, loving, faithful, hardworking person. You don't find that just anywhere. But I will talk to her about your suggestions. One good thing, this has made her more rooted in the bible and talking to God more.

You are a very wise person and God is using you to help her get to next level in life. Be encourage and know that God is looking at how you are handling this and I know He is very please. Friends like you are hard to find these days.