Pledge not to be a Hair Snob

[EbonyHairedPrincess]

How often do you tell women about this website or other websites, books or products that can help them maintain healthy hair?

I keep thinking about a post I seen yesterday on hair snobs. The post kinda bothered me because I know I have always wanted long hair and when I asked others how they grew their hair out they would say it just grows. Which is only part of the truth. I now realize they just didn't want to help me. I have learned how to care for my hair and I am fast approaching APL for the first time EVER and I am challenging myself to tell more women about hair sites like:

www.longhaircareforum.com, www.growafrohairlong.com, www.motowngirl.com, www.ubhpublications.com, www.tlhs.org, www.pg.com/science/haircare.

Are you willing to spread the news that African American hair can grow long and beautiful whether natural or relaxed?

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Yes, and people ask me all the time about my hair and what I use (most people think I have a good Jerry Curl...go figure) and I don't mind telling them exactly what I use and what I do to my hair. I have even given suggestions and product information and people have actually come back to me to tell me how much they really love how their hair has changed for the better.

 

[navsegda]

LOL, I never shut up about it! I think that if God has blessed you with knowledge that can help someone else, then it is important to share it. I don't understand how someone could be stingy about something beneficial. When you help others, God will bless you more. If you know products and methods that work, then spread the word! Because of things shared on this board, a lot of useless myths that prevented black women from growing long, strong healthy hair have been debunked. And who knows? Maybe even our sisters of other races could be helped by something they find on this board!

 

[EbonyHairedPrincess]

I always try to help people. I think hair is such a sensitive topic for women. I am always looking for ways to approach the subject. I feel like a hair evangelist. I totally feel obligated to tell people about healthy hair. How do you not share a blessing? I feel bad for women who lacked proper hair care information.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

gosh, I'm so bad, IF i even tell them about my online hair life i always tell them another forum...

never lhcf,

but seriously, ppl never ask that much. they may ask and say you hair is pretty who does your hair or how you get your hair so long, and the minute i say "i stop flat ironing so much" they are immediatly disinterested. works like a charm everytime. oh well, i don't usually feel like telling them all my stuff anyways.

 

[princesslocks]

I sometimes give the website out to people who don't look at me like I'm a lunatic when I start talking about haircare.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

I'm all for not being a hair snob, but that, for me, is not the same as riding around with a bullhorn telling chicks about LHCF.

The problem is that unsolicited advice of any kind is often not well received. I think MOST women would take offense to some random woman walking up to her and saying, "Hey, you should join this hair care site." Almost without fail, it will be assumed that that's an indirect insult on the state of her hair. I know because I've tried it.

Apart from that, I think many ladies here will tell you that too often when people ask for "advice" they want a quick fix...some magic potion that will make for long, thick, healthy hair. The problem is that A) for many of us, there isn't one thing that's making our hair what it is today; it's a combination of techniques and products and most people don't care to be bothered with the minutia of some of our regimens and B) they'll listen but not actually apply the advice. That can get old because people want what they see, but they don't what to do what that person did to get it.

If I can detect sincere interest, I'll throw a few basic things out there to test their responsiveness (deep conditioning, cleansing weekly, etc) and then I may get into more detailed aspects of my regimen. I almost feel as if I'd be misleading someone by not telling them all of the little tricks and secrets I use. Besides that, too often women with unhealthy hair are doing something that they *know* to be unhealthy but don't want to give up.

And for some of us who frequent other parts of the board, LHCF is our little secret, and we like it that way.

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

I tell everyone about the site who express interest about my hair...in fact I told two women on two seperate occassions while out and about this weekend about LHCF....usually because of my au nautrel styles people just start hair convos with me...I always tell them about LHCF

Its better that way anyways...especially with friends...that way I dont have to try to explain it and if they REALLY want to know...they can find out.

 

[Guyaneek]

I'm all for not being a hair snob, but that, for me, is not the same as riding around with a bullhorn telling chicks about LHCF.

The problem is that unsolicited advice of any kind is often not well received. I think MOST women would take offense to some random woman walking up to her and saying, "Hey, you should join this hair care site." Almost without fail, it will be assumed that that's an indirect insult on the state of her hair. I know because I've tried it.

Apart from that, I think many ladies here will tell you that too often when people ask for "advice" they want a quick fix...some magic potion that will make for long, thick, healthy hair. The problem is that A) for many of us, there isn't one thing that's making our hair what it is today; it's a combination of techniques and products and most people don't care to be bothered with the minutia of some of our regimens and B) they'll listen but not actually apply the advice. That can get old because people want what they see, but they don't what to do what that person did to get it.

If I can detect sincere interest, I'll throw a few basic things out there to test their responsiveness (deep conditioning, cleansing weekly, etc) and then I may get into more detailed aspects of my regimen. I almost feel as if I'd be misleading someone by not telling them all of the little tricks and secrets I use. Besides that, too often women with unhealthy hair are doing something that they *know* to be unhealthy but don't want to give up.

And for some of us who frequent other parts of the board, LHCF is our little secret, and we like it that way.

This whole thing is RIGHT ON POINT!!!! Couldn't have said it better!

 

[JazzyDez]

I would tell them about books and products before I would tell them about THIS site....simply because I post here often including in the OT forum. I dont want my business all out on the street

 

[CaliJ]

I'm all for not being a hair snob, but that, for me, is not the same as riding around with a bullhorn telling chicks about LHCF.

The problem is that unsolicited advice of any kind is often not well received. I think MOST women would take offense to some random woman walking up to her and saying, "Hey, you should join this hair care site." Almost without fail, it will be assumed that that's an indirect insult on the state of her hair. I know because I've tried it.

Apart from that, I think many ladies here will tell you that too often when people ask for "advice" they want a quick fix...some magic potion that will make for long, thick, healthy hair. The problem is that A) for many of us, there isn't one thing that's making our hair what it is today; it's a combination of techniques and products and most people don't care to be bothered with the minutia of some of our regimens and B) they'll listen but not actually apply the advice. That can get old because people want what they see, but they don't what to do what that person did to get it.

If I can detect sincere interest, I'll throw a few basic things out there to test their responsiveness (deep conditioning, cleansing weekly, etc) and then I may get into more detailed aspects of my regimen. I almost feel as if I'd be misleading someone by not telling them all of the little tricks and secrets I use. Besides that, too often women with unhealthy hair are doing something that they *know* to be unhealthy but don't want to give up.

And for some of us who frequent other parts of the board, LHCF is our little secret, and we like it that way.

I totally agree!!

 

[locabouthair]

ok right now my hair is looking really.......... well let's say not that great. lol. so for me to give someone hair advice they would look at me like I'm stupid. I would love to tell people but I doubt they would consider what im saying because of the condition my hair is in now (not that I would blame them). I did mention it to one friend and she thought that a website dedicated to growing black hair was stupid and she told me all i needed to do was to keep trimming my hair for it to grow. so i will keep this site a secret until my hair starts showing results and people start asking questions.

 

[EbonyHairedPrincess]

I'm all for not being a hair snob, but that, for me, is not the same as riding around with a bullhorn telling chicks about LHCF.

The problem is that unsolicited advice of any kind is often not well received. I think MOST women would take offense to some random woman walking up to her and saying, "Hey, you should join this hair care site." Almost without fail, it will be assumed that that's an indirect insult on the state of her hair. I know because I've tried it.

Apart from that, I think many ladies here will tell you that too often when people ask for "advice" they want a quick fix...some magic potion that will make for long, thick, healthy hair. The problem is that A) for many of us, there isn't one thing that's making our hair what it is today; it's a combination of techniques and products and most people don't care to be bothered with the minutia of some of our regimens and B) they'll listen but not actually apply the advice. That can get old because people want what they see, but they don't what to do what that person did to get it.

If I can detect sincere interest, I'll throw a few basic things out there to test their responsiveness (deep conditioning, cleansing weekly, etc) and then I may get into more detailed aspects of my regimen. I almost feel as if I'd be misleading someone by not telling them all of the little tricks and secrets I use. Besides that, too often women with unhealthy hair are doing something that they *know* to be unhealthy but don't want to give up.

And for some of us who frequent other parts of the board, LHCF is our little secret, and we like it that way.

I agree with what your saying just jumping in and blurting it out is a little creepy and could be taken as offensive. I believe most people know when your genuine and only concerned for their wellbeing. I know I was truly uneducated on caring for 4a 4b hair and I would have greatly benefited for some unselfish advice. Had I known better I would have done better. I believe most people fit in this catagory. I love talking about and learning about hair. When the conversation comes up I have no problems telling people about the sites.

 

[ak46]

I voted 1-2 times a week. Trying to get the word out. I keep telling my friends and family about my hair finds but many of them don't believe me. I can't wait until after the "hide your hair until christmas" challenge is over so I can show them my progress and get them started on their hair journeys as well.

 

[KiSseS03]

I will talk about haircare to anyone that seems receptive, I'm definitely not a hair snob in that way, I'll tell anyone how I grew/am growing my hair out. However, most of my friends and family know that I'm on hairsites and think it's a lil crazy so I usually don't bother giving out the site.

Like DI said though, there are people out there looking for a quick fix, or people who's hair is obviously in bad shape, but wanna argue that flat-ironing with some Hair Food Grease everyday and washing once a year isn't hurting their hair. With those people I'm just like... uh, uh-huh and keep it movin!

 

[mimi]

I'm a little shy when it comes to sharing hair info, unless its family and friends. With family and friends I'm all for it and they'll never hear the end of my preaching. I've tried to share hair info with different associates of mind who I know need, but they take it as an insult mainly because I wear alot of protective styles and stretch my relaxers. However I don't feel bad about not approaching my female associates about hair cause when I get a fresh relaxer and wear my hair down,they usually come to me with questions and then I share with them gladly.

 

[thesweetone]

ok right now my hair is looking really.......... well let's say not that great. lol. so for me to give someone hair advice they would look at me like I'm stupid. I would love to tell people but I doubt they would consider what im saying because of the condition my hair is in now (not that I would blame them). I did mention it to one friend and she thought that a website dedicated to growing black hair was stupid and she told me all i needed to do was to keep trimming my hair for it to grow. so i will keep this site a secret until my hair starts showing results and people start asking questions.

EXACTLY!!!! I think no one would take hair care advice from me, with the state my hair is in at present. Now when I get to APL or longer and people notice that my hair is really thriving, growing, and healthy, naturally they will start to ask questions because of the drastic turnaround and then we can talk about my regimen and the wonderful resource that is LHCF!!!!!

And ITA with everything that Divine Inspiration said!

 

[Vshanell]

I'm all for not being a hair snob, but that, for me, is not the same as riding around with a bullhorn telling chicks about LHCF.

The problem is that unsolicited advice of any kind is often not well received. I think MOST women would take offense to some random woman walking up to her and saying, "Hey, you should join this hair care site." Almost without fail, it will be assumed that that's an indirect insult on the state of her hair. I know because I've tried it.

Apart from that, I think many ladies here will tell you that too often when people ask for "advice" they want a quick fix...some magic potion that will make for long, thick, healthy hair. The problem is that A) for many of us, there isn't one thing that's making our hair what it is today; it's a combination of techniques and products and most people don't care to be bothered with the minutia of some of our regimens and B) they'll listen but not actually apply the advice. That can get old because people want what they see, but they don't what to do what that person did to get it.

If I can detect sincere interest, I'll throw a few basic things out there to test their responsiveness (deep conditioning, cleansing weekly, etc) and then I may get into more detailed aspects of my regimen. I almost feel as if I'd be misleading someone by not telling them all of the little tricks and secrets I use. Besides that, too often women with unhealthy hair are doing something that they *know* to be unhealthy but don't want to give up.

And for some of us who frequent other parts of the board, LHCF is our little secret, and we like it that way.

I agree with everything you said. You said it so well.

I find that people aren't looking for tips on hair health, regimens or techniques....they're just looking for that one "magic potion" that they think you used to grow your hair long.

I do feel like lhcf is my little secret online life. It's my get away. I do tell people that i do online research on hair care and products and I tell them some stuff I learn but they just give me a blank look. They never ever come back to me and say, "Hey, I went online and did some research on hair like you said".....if they had made the effort I would definitely tell them about lhcf or other boards.

It's funny because when someone asks me what I use I'm always stumped like "Uhhhh....ummm".....it's like I don't know where to begin because it's so complex you know. Is this just me . I come up with some of the basics but if I really broke it down to them we'd be standing there for hours .

 

[Babygurl]

I tell people all the time but honestly most of them dont want to hear it, its almost as if when they ask what I do to get my hair to grow they want to hear about the "miracle" product that does it, not the hard work and waiting. Im not a hair snob by any means but I get a lil bit twisted when people always think its some magic product that Im not telling them about. So I would say out of every 30 people I tell about my regimen or LHCF, maybe 1 of them listens and chooses to go check it out.

 

[sharee]

I'm all for not being a hair snob, but that, for me, is not the same as riding around with a bullhorn telling chicks about LHCF.

The problem is that unsolicited advice of any kind is often not well received. I think MOST women would take offense to some random woman walking up to her and saying, "Hey, you should join this hair care site." Almost without fail, it will be assumed that that's an indirect insult on the state of her hair. I know because I've tried it.

Apart from that, I think many ladies here will tell you that too often when people ask for "advice" they want a quick fix...some magic potion that will make for long, thick, healthy hair. The problem is that A) for many of us, there isn't one thing that's making our hair what it is today; it's a combination of techniques and products and most people don't care to be bothered with the minutia of some of our regimens and B) they'll listen but not actually apply the advice. That can get old because people want what they see, but they don't what to do what that person did to get it.

If I can detect sincere interest, I'll throw a few basic things out there to test their responsiveness (deep conditioning, cleansing weekly, etc) and then I may get into more detailed aspects of my regimen. I almost feel as if I'd be misleading someone by not telling them all of the little tricks and secrets I use. Besides that, too often women with unhealthy hair are doing something that they *know* to be unhealthy but don't want to give up.

And for some of us who frequent other parts of the board, LHCF is our little secret, and we like it that way.

You took the words right out of my mouth!!!!!! ITA with everything said.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I agree with everything you said. You said it so well.

I find that people aren't looking for tips on hair health, regimens or techniques....they're just looking for that one "magic potion" that they think you used to grow your hair long.

I do feel like lhcf is my little secret online life. It's my get away. I do tell people that i do online research on hair care and products and I tell them some stuff I learn but they just give me a blank look. They never ever come back to me and say, "Hey, I went online and did some research on hair like you said".....if they had made the effort I would definitely tell them about lhcf or other boards.

It's funny because when someone asks me what I use I'm always stumped like "Uhhhh....ummm".....it's like I don't know where to begin because it's so complex you know. Is this just me . I come up with some of the basics but if I really broke it down to them we'd be standing there for hours .

exactly. if i were to tell every one that asked me about hair about this site, it woulnd't do anything but create an influx of people who will only come on here looking for that quick-fast-and-in-a-hurry growth aide. i could see it now " i want WSL tomorrow, anyone know of any creams!" not saying that those don't come here, just saying that a lot of people appreciate LHCF and other hairboards more once they've looked for the information.

 

[glamazon386]

ok right now my hair is looking really.......... well let's say not that great. lol. so for me to give someone hair advice they would look at me like I'm stupid. I would love to tell people but I doubt they would consider what im saying because of the condition my hair is in now (not that I would blame them). I did mention it to one friend and she thought that a website dedicated to growing black hair was stupid and she told me all i needed to do was to keep trimming my hair for it to grow. so i will keep this site a secret until my hair starts showing results and people start asking questions.

I agree with this. I'm sure there are some people who wouldn't take my advice about hair because they never see mines.

For instance, my cousin was telling me that she wanted to get her hair braided (senegalese twists) but she was scared bc the front of her hair was breaking off. She thought the braids might do more damage than good. I just recently had a set before I BCED and my hair did surprisingly well with them. The woman didn't braid them tight at all. Thin hair runs in our family on that side. And most of us have a problem with breakage for that reason. I told her she probably needs to DC. I asked her did she get DC's when she went to the salon and she said no because it costs extra. I told her to try an ORS pak to stop the breakage. It was definitely breakage and not shedding. She also has highlights that was probably what did it. But I'm sure she was thinking to herself umm wtf do you know about hair? I never see yours it's always up under a weave. She asked how long my hair was before, and I told her shoulder length. It was shoulder length before I BCED. Idk if she took my advice or not. She never said anything more about it. But I wouldn understand if she didn't. I rarely see that side of the family. And when I did see them it was for a holiday. And if I was wearing my hair out, it was because I had a fresh relaxer and cut and it was never really longer than my neck/chin. I did get compliments on my cuts though bc most of the women on my dad's side keep short haircuts anyway. But they probably think I'm bald headed. Her mother kind of hinted at it before. My cousin (she might be a 3c/4a. she's been relaxed since a child like I was) and her sister (who's a loose type 3 who recently got her hair relaxed when she turned 12) and one older cousin (she has thick 4b hair) are the only long haired ladies in the family.

 

[Qetesh]

I also agree with DI. When women ask me what I use on my hair or what I have changed for it to grow. (first I am exited that people notice my hair has grown) I usually tell them I have just started to take care of it, which involves deep conditioning using less heat ext ext. if they can make it though this speal and still be interested I suggest a few products. It’s funny because my friend asked me about this today and when I recommended some stuff she was just like but will it work on MY hair? Honestly how am I supposed to know?? Every head is different, but I guess she means the fact that we have different hair textures, so I explain to her its still hair and it very well could or could not work for her. Overall I don’t tell people about the site cuz I feel like I am a little obsessed at this point and I don’t wanna be called out..

Thinking back on the past I have been a hair snob.. L My hair has always been around bra-strap length and when females would to come up to me and ask me what I did to my hair I would jus give them a confused look and say ”nothing” or “I don’t use heat much”. I mean honestly I had no idea why my hair was that long, I didn’t do anything to it, but that was probably why it stayed at that length; low manipulation. Anyway I really couldn’t help them cuz I didn’t actually know how to take care of my hair, it just was the way it was, it’s probably like this for other women with nice hair they don’t actually know what they are doing but they don’t think about it or manipulate it much so it looks good. Also they don’t outwardly abuse it so it grows.

 

[EbonyHairedPrincess]

I agree with everything you said. You said it so well.

I find that people aren't looking for tips on hair health, regimens or techniques....they're just looking for that one "magic potion" that they think you used to grow your hair long.

I do feel like lhcf is my little secret online life. It's my get away. I do tell people that i do online research on hair care and products and I tell them some stuff I learn but they just give me a blank look. They never ever come back to me and say, "Hey, I went online and did some research on hair like you said".....if they had made the effort I would definitely tell them about lhcf or other boards.

It's funny because when someone asks me what I use I'm always stumped like "Uhhhh....ummm".....it's like I don't know where to begin because it's so complex you know. Is this just me . I come up with some of the basics but if I really broke it down to them we'd be standing there for hours .

Okay your right on all of this. Of all the people I have told about online sites, I don't think any of them have actually did it. I'm fine with that because that's not the point but it makes you wonder why they bother asking if you aren't going to actually try and change your situation. When reality sets in that you actually have to work a little and change some behavior usually the conversation is over.erplexed I totally agree with what your saying.

 

[MrsHouston]

I've told a few people about hair care suggestions. The people that seem to be serious, I go as far to print out information for them, tell them where to purchase products, and I even give some of my products to them. Now that I'm preggie, I've given away lot's of vitamins that I know I can't take for awhile...everyone was happy to get them too

 

[CurliDiva]

It is a catch 22 - because my hair (protected and growing) under a WEAVE:

1. most people believe that I must be bald headed and that my hair could not be healthier than theirs

2. when I compliment a fellow nautral - they think I'm making fun or mocking them because my weaves are straight or curled

3. if someone overcome these first 2, then I get ask "what" am I going to do with long "natural" hair - like I have to RELAX my hair

So, to quote the Matirx movies - more black women need to "Free your MINDS" to appreciate our advice!

 

[pistachio]

I'm all for not being a hair snob, but that, for me, is not the same as riding around with a bullhorn telling chicks about LHCF.

The problem is that unsolicited advice of any kind is often not well received. I think MOST women would take offense to some random woman walking up to her and saying, "Hey, you should join this hair care site." Almost without fail, it will be assumed that that's an indirect insult on the state of her hair. I know because I've tried it.

Apart from that, I think many ladies here will tell you that too often when people ask for "advice" they want a quick fix...some magic potion that will make for long, thick, healthy hair. The problem is that A) for many of us, there isn't one thing that's making our hair what it is today; it's a combination of techniques and products and most people don't care to be bothered with the minutia of some of our regimens and B) they'll listen but not actually apply the advice. That can get old because people want what they see, but they don't what to do what that person did to get it.

If I can detect sincere interest, I'll throw a few basic things out there to test their responsiveness (deep conditioning, cleansing weekly, etc) and then I may get into more detailed aspects of my regimen. I almost feel as if I'd be misleading someone by not telling them all of the little tricks and secrets I use. Besides that, too often women with unhealthy hair are doing something that they *know* to be unhealthy but don't want to give up.

And for some of us who frequent other parts of the board, LHCF is our little secret, and we like it that way.

Exactly. I couldn't have said it better

 

[sareca]

I'm not a snob, but I'm done with telling people. Even people that ASK don't accept my answer. They think it's all snake oil and I just have a "growing head." Or worse they try something for 2 weeks then say it doesn't work because they don't have my hair at the end. I'm done.

 

[pistachio]

I'm not a snob, but I'm done with telling people. Even people that ASK don't accept my answer. They think it's all snake oil and I just have a "growing head." Or worse they try something for 2 weeks then say it doesn't work because they don't have my hair at the end. I'm done.

See, thet's why I don't wanna tell people about my products because if I tell, and their hair isn't BSL in two weeks, then I'm a liar, and if i don't tell, then I'm a snob...

 

[Naijaqueen]

when people ask enough, I usually tell, some look at me like i'm crazy though,a and i just smile, and go along my merry way 3 of my close friends, and my sister are on this forum because of what I said, it makes it easier for me when I start using LHCF lingo and dont have to explain