Sis, your very brief post spoke to me, because it reminded me that I was bound in despair for years, to the point of suicide. I hated my life, I hated myself, and I couldn't understand the point of me living. I wasn't going to churchand I wasn't praying. I didn't see the point, because I was convinced that God wouldn't hear me, and if He could, He didn't care.
My experience with depression is that the enemy has a habit of magnifying the areas of our life where we aren't successful, and he convinces us of what a complete and total failure we are. And don't be fooled. The devil starts off softly and slowly with his lies, then gradually gains momentum with his message to you.
"You're not doing anything that matters to anyone. No-one is ever going to love you, look at you? You're such a mess that God can't use you. Even your kids don't need you. Face it, you were a mistake, and it's better to exit this world. This life just isn't worth living. Why do you bother? Don't even try to pray. You know that doesn't work. And the church can't help you."
I spent years hearing these messages playing in my head. I got to the point that I couldn't be around people. I isolated myself from everyone. I was in tears constantly. The trick of the devil is to get you on your own, to talk to you and have no-one opposing the messages he puts in your mind, then he wins. But my mother was praying for me. Even when her words couldn't reach me, her prayers reached God, and He heard her cry for me.
I'm going to do the same for you. You are not alone, and thank God that you posted this. The Lord wants you to know that you are not alone, and no matter what you see happening around you, hold on tighter to Him. In the midst of it all, He's there, and He will see you through.
Read this thread about people coming into your life. I wish this was around when I was having a difficult time with relationships in my life.
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=50389
Finally, let me leave you with this passage. Be blessed, sweetie!
Jeremiah 29:11-13
" For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."